Oo Stellar oO
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Joined 02-20-03, id: 345729
trapped between the pages of some insipid mystery novel
just when i think i've found myself
i must have
gotten
too much joy
i must have
gotten
some unseen force
angry
because
i am just a little lost right now.
there's too much inside me
that is bursting to break free
too many wants
swimming around inside my head
and i wonder why i never give up hope
i wonder why i am not afraid
to let myself fall again
to let myself be delirious with love again
i wonder why
everything with me
has to be so fucking dramatic
i wonder why
everything with me
has to be so fucking passionate
i wonder why
everything with me
has to be so fucking "all or nothing"
i wonder why
and then i stop
because
i am just a little lost right now
and i apologize for my profanity
but there are times
when profanity
makes all the crap around
not so crappy
perhaps
it shoves away the bullshit
and stuffs reality in our faces
because there's no way to
tiptoe around a four-letter word
there's no way
to dress it up with frills
no way to make its ugliness beautiful
but i would find a way
because i'm good at that kind of thing
(or maybe just delusional)
I am just a little lost right now.