Painton
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Joined 01-07-13, id: 4468816, Profile Updated: 12-26-18
Author has written 8 stories for Hobbit, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Lord of the Rings, and Doctor Who.

I've been writing fanfiction since I was twelve. Most of my early stories are horrible beyond imagining, hidden away in dusty drawers on obsolete floppy disks, never to see the light of day again. But the ones I've posted here are pretty good, at least I think so. I hope you do, too.


Stories:

In the flash of a Camera's Eye: the unlikely adventure of the 13th Doctor and Timarie Jans. Slight f/f, In Progress

The Evolution of Carmen Ortiz: This was my first attempt at a Doctor Who fic. The first episode is up, The Echo in the Corridor, and the second, The Goblin in the Stovepipe, is on hold indefinitely.

Quest to Forochel and Return to Ered Luin: are two tales in the same series following Fili and Kili and my OC, Betta, on an adventure of their own in the months before the Quest of Erebor.

That'll Be the Door: is abandoned. Sorry. What's there is the start of Dwalin's history and the tragedy of the Durin line.

Requiescat (Tauriel) and The Simple Bird-tamer, The Fool (Radagast) are not within the timeline of the QtF series. One day, Requiescat may become a multi-chapter, fem-slash fic, but that is NOT THIS DAY!

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The Honour of Dwarves by Doc M reviews
AU (books x first 2 films – 3rd film disappointing hatchet-job/whitewash). Post-Battle of 5 Armies, Dís supports her brother, King Thorin, in his longer battle to recover his health and the Arkenstone and secure their kingdom. 10: Bilbo faces his punishment, and Gandalf learns that it's not a good idea to annoy 2 Durins… (Now edited: with added Hobbit crassness.)
Hobbit - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 10 - Words: 49,515 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 95 - Updated: 8/9/2015 - Published: 4/13/2013 - Dís, Thorin, Bilbo B., Gandalf
He Does Not by rednightmare reviews
Thorin is the Khuzdul word for thunder. (A character voice study for Thorin II grounded in lectures, tragedy, bravery, and song.)
Hobbit - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 34,764 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 6/13/2015 - Published: 1/26/2013 - [Thorin, Bilbo B.] Fíli, Kíli - Complete
An Inability to Sleep by The Wordsmithy reviews
Arthur is having difficulty getting to sleep. So is Ford. However, they both have very different ideas as to how to solve this problem.
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,672 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/7/2013 - Arthur D., Ford P. - Complete
Severed by DarkestSight reviews
Kíli finds something abandoned on the battlefield.
Hobbit - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 841 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/11/2013 - Kíli, Fíli - Complete
The Fourteen Things that Always Happen to Faramir and Eowyn by Voldie on Varsity Track reviews
Tired of the old Farawyn cliches in fanfiction? Tired of songfics to idiotic songs, watching Eowyn sleep, Faramir angsting about fatherhood, and Denethor abusing Faramir for no reason? Behold as Good Queen Vold mocks everything that always happens to Faramir and Eowyn. Also contains the delightful pairing of Eomer/a mop.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,895 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 2/9/2013 - Published: 4/15/2008 - Faramir, Eowyn
Rocks in Socks by seafarer reviews
While Frodo is healing in Ithilien Pippin comes up with an interesting game.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 795 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/14/2012 - Peregrin T., Frodo B. - Complete
The Teletubbies' Adventure in Lothlorien by LalaithElerrina reviews
When the Teletubbies find themselves unexpectedly in LothLorien, no one could imagine the havoc they cause...
Crossover - Lord of the Rings & Teletubbies - Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,754 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 9 - Published: 5/28/2012 - Haldir - Complete
Adam's Funeral by Nimbus Llewelyn reviews
Adam is dead, after a mysterious attack on Lower Tadfield, and has a pair of unusual guests at the funeral. More amusing and less tragic than it sounds. I own nothing save the plot.
Good Omens - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 943 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/2/2011 - A. Crowley, Adam Young - Complete
The Worst of Things by Jimmy Candlestick reviews
While Maglor is out hunting, Maedhros, who is watching the twins, must confront one of his greatest enemies. One-shot.
Silmarillion - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,157 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/28/2008 - Maedhros, Maglor - Complete
Thranduil's Longest Day by SkyFire2 reviews
Like the title says: Thranduil's Longest Day. He really should have stayed in bed. FINISHED!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,119 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 12/7/2004 - Published: 4/2/2003 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

In the Flash of a Camera's Eye
After the sonic bomb on Seffilun 27, the Doctor wants some time alone to fix up the Tardis, and herself. Meanwhile, the life of Timarie Jans is solidly stuck in a rut. She wants quiet, a little company and definitely no adventures. But what these two women want may not be what they need, and a mysterious shadow creature will make sure that it's not what they get.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,338 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/25/2018
The Evolution of Carmen Ortiz reviews
Carmen is an ordinary woman living an ordinary life as a research assistant when a bizarre accident sends her tumbling into the path of The Doctor. Now, instead of filing reports, she's battling aliens, trying to find her way back home. This series will span multiple Doctors, Companions, Eras and Planets as Carmen travels time and space and, occasionally, runs into The Doctor.
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 17 - Words: 70,512 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 11/13/2016 - Published: 9/5/2015 - 9th Doctor, 10th Doctor, Rose T., OC
Quest to Forochel reviews
Fili and Kili are young and inexperienced by Dwarf standards, so how will they convince their uncle to take them on a hopeless quest to defeat a dragon? When a woman arrives at Ered Luin on a hopeless quest of her own, Fili sees the chance for adventure, but experience comes at a price and not all endings are happy. Fili/OC
Hobbit - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 122 - Words: 367,465 - Reviews: 481 - Favs: 183 - Follows: 164 - Updated: 10/11/2015 - Published: 2/8/2013 - Fíli, Kíli, OC - Complete
Return to Ered Luin reviews
After surviving their long and dangerous journey into the Mountains of Angmar and the Forodwaith, Fili, Kili and Betta return to Ered Luin. The brothers prepare for their quest to Erebor, but adventure has left its mark on them. What will Thorin say? And how will they hide from him the truth, that Fili has brought home not gold... but a wife! - Sequel to Quest to Forochel. Fili/OC
Hobbit - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 26 - Words: 142,150 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 10/11/2015 - Published: 8/18/2014 - Thorin, Fíli, Kíli, OC - Complete
The Simple Bird-tamer, The Fool reviews
Radagast wasn't just taming birds during his time at Rhosgobel. Dwelling near to the Gladden Fields and north of Dol Guldur, who better to guard the Greenwood than the last Wizard that any Dark Lord would suspect?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 925 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/14/2015 - Radagast - Complete
Requiescat reviews
After the Battle of Five Armies, the Elven Host returns to Mirkwood where the dead are counted and small mistakes have consequences that will change the course of history.
Hobbit - Rated: K - English - Tragedy/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,226 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 5 - Published: 10/12/2014 - Legolas, Elvenking Thranduil, Tauriel - Complete
That'll Be The Door reviews
Dwalin was so unlike his brother, but is it any wonder? Balin at least had known a few happy years in Erebor before the coming of the dragon, but Dwalin took strength from sorrow and lived longer than any other dwarf, surviving the turmoil that ended the Third Age, building his family as he helped to rebuild a kingdom. A book-based history of Dwalin son of Fundin. No Slash
Hobbit - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,510 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 7/3/2013 - Published: 6/1/2013 - Dwalin, Balin
Buffy Was Dead reviews
He couldn't say who'd said it, and it didn't matter. It had been said. "If Buffy were here…" Just something that had been percolating in my brain between season 6 and 7. A what-if sort of scenario.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,735 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/12/2013 - Spike, Faith L. - Complete