![]() I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. 92 of the teenage population has moved on to RAP. If YOU are part of the 8 that still headbang and love rock then put this on your profile! I AM... A bookworm A movie quoter A nerd A girl who refuses to fit in Completely insane Alive Able to ask really dumb, obvious things If Justin Bieber was about to jump off a cliff, 97% of girls would be crying their eyes out and screaming "DON'T DO IT!!!" But I would be a part of the other 3% that would be screaming and jumping on the couch with excitement with a bowl of popcorn at hand saying "JUMP JUMP JUMP!!!" Copy and paste this onto your profile if you are that 3%. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile 1F Y0U C4N UND3R574ND 7H15 M355463 C0PY 17 4ND P4573 17 1N70 Y0UR PR0F1L3 Olny fteefin prenect of poelpe can raed this. If you are one fo taht prenect, cpoy and pstae tihs itno yuor porflie If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. (my friends and family think I am weird 4 this one) If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you think that people who don't like PJO are crazy/stupid/losers, copy this into your profile. if you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer] TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR IS SANG TO THE SAME TUNE AS THE ALPHABET...copy this onto your profile if you just sang it in your head to see if its true. This is freaky as anything...DO NOT CHEAT (You'll kick yourself later.) I was a little skeptical trying this, but if you follow the instructions you'll be surprised! We'll see tomorrow if the wish comes true. Some of the things are freakily true, but if you sit down and think about it, most of the answers are right because the way the questions are set up. The human mind of everyone, really, it works in similar ways. Take 3 minutes and try this...it will freak you out...BUT NO CHEATING! This game has a funny/spooky outcome. Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It's worth a try. First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct. Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it! 1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column. 2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want. 3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex. 4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots. 5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11. (Go with your instincts!) 6. Finally, make a wish. And now the key for the game... 1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game. 2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love. 3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out. 4. You care most about the person you put in 4. 5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well. 6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star. 7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3. 8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7. 9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind. 10. 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life Have you ever wondered: Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin... Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish-washing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while. Rearranging The Letters ;) DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY ELECTION - RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE: MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER Amazing Quotes: The quality of life is not determined by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away. Attempting to give a damn . . . . Unable to give a damn. Stopping . . . . Process failed. Damn not given. I'm not so good at advice; may I interest you in a sarcastic reply? Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you're asleep. Real girls aren't perfect, and perfect girls aren't real. I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have. (I don't have ADD, I have SAS: short attention span) What hair color do they put down on the driver's licenses of a bald man? I'm not littering . . . just donating to the Earth. It's funny - the people who want quiet are always the loudest getting people to shut up. I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you... you're just not laughing. I used up all my sick days at work so I'm calling in dead. Be nice to your kids. They choose your nursing home. It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines. My favorite word is sarcasm. Please don't drop cigarette buds on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark? If you want to look young and thin, hang around with fat old people. If Wal-Mart is lowering their prices every day, how come the store isn't free yet? Sarcasm doesn't work on a sarcastic person. Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey. What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.' A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. "We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do." Screw fire and save matches!! Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words. My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen. I ran with scissors, and lived! I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally. If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. Borrow money from pessimists- they don't expect to get it back! Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. One way to find out if something works: push all the buttons. I hear your silence loud and clear. According to the latest figures, 43% of all statistics are utterly worthless. Don't steal. The government hates the competition. If at first you don't succeed, change the rules. Tell the truth and run. Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to. Friends come and go while enemies never do; they just multiply. Power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat. Generally, generalizations are wrong. Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad. All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be research. Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts. The truth is out there. So what are you doing here? Whatever you are, be a good one. You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. We are the people our parents warned us about. Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. The difficulty is not so great as to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for. Belief gets in the way of learning. If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done? When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear. Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead. And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years. We don't live in the world of reality, we live in the world of how we perceive reality. If God had intended Man to smoke, he would have set him on fire. A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic. Have the courage to live. Anyone can die. Education is important. School, however, is another matter. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and then the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. Whoever said "anything is possible" never tried to slam a revolving door. You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff ... I laugh even harder. Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill very many people. You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff. If someone ever says, 'It's always the last place you look'... reply with, 'well duh, why the hell would I keep looking if I found it?' Eat right, exercise, die anyway. It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn. Love your enemies. It gets them really confused. Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills? Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window or break down a door. I used to have a life but, that was before video games! Don't look for inspiration. Start working and inspiration will come to you. Take risks, if you win you will be happy; if you lose you will be wise. There are 3 kinds of people, those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what the heck is happening. The evening news always starts off by saying Good Evening and then proceeds to tell you exactly why it isn't. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and dark side, and holds the universe together. Why are wrong numbers never busy? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Doesn't 'expecting the unexpected' make the unexpected expected? Normality will be restored as soon as we're sure what it is. STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you. Never doubt the power of an extremely pissed off woman Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over When a finger points at the moon, the imbecile looks at the finger. Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months. Cynics are made, not born. What do we want? PROCRASTINATION! When do we want it? . . . . Next week. Maybe this world is another planet's hell. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me. I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? My mind works like lightning . . . . one brilliant flash and it's gone. The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not. Don't underestimate the power of funny. It moves mountains. Never say that! Never! Run before you walk! Fly before you crawl! Keep moving forward! Because if we fail, I'd rather fail really hugely. All or nothing! Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them more. If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Growing old is mandatory . . . growing UP is optional . . . When I'm stressed, I laugh. When I'm happy, I laugh. When I'm nervous, I laugh. If I find something funny, I can't stop laughing. If you find any poisonous plants in your tea, just to let you know, it wasn't me. Don't pop my bubbles. I'll get depressed. Anatidaephobia: the fear that somehow, somewhere, a duck is watching you. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em. People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was. If your heart was really broken . . . you'd be dead so shut up. People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled "Bang", I don't think you'd kill too many people. He who laughs last didn't get it. If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem. Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, but Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous. They laugh because we're losers . . . . We laugh because they just figured it out. The 50-50-90 rule: any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong. The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on. The voices may not be real, but they have some pretty good ideas. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. A wise man once said, "Ask a girl." Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter. Why be difficult, when, with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible? If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk. Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck. Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to. You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be misquoted and used against you. Chaos, panic, pandemonium. My work here is done. If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Newsflash, honey, I don't live to please you. Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same. Being mature is overrated. Being weird is like being normal, only better. I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me. Boys are like lava lamps: fun to watch but not too bright. It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. I believe you should live each day as if it were your last, which is why I don't do my laundry. I mean, come on, who would wanna wash clothes on the last day of their life? Silence is golden . . . duct tape is silver. When life gives you lemons . . . Be insane- well behaved people never made history. My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. To the world you are just one person, but to one person, you're the world. Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out. One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and was too stubborn to ask for directions. It's always in the last place you look . . . of course it is, why would I keep looking for it? Happiness is just around the corner! . . . Too bad the world is round . . . I can only please one person a day. Today's not your day, and tomorrow's not looking good either. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it! If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad. I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that thing up in two seconds. When I play Rock, Paper, Scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my readymade fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you *!" Rock beats paper. Always. But since we live in a world where Paper may beat rock, use Cannonball; it makes a big hole in paper. I hate it when people say there is no such thing as normal. There IS such thing, as normal means average, what is considered to be most common. Normal. Of course, I'm not normal at all so I have no idea what I'm on about. If you want to learn how to explode things, crush things, cause things harm, or whatever random things you need, I'm your girl. If you want to know about anything that you will actually USE in life, go somewhere else. The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can! Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it . . . Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water! He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it. "Sir, we're surrounded!" (((((True love))))) A guy and a girl were riding on a motorcycle... Girl: slow down i'm scared. Guy: no this is fun. Girl: no it's not please it's way to scary! Guy: then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you now slow down. Guy: now give me a big hug. She gave him a big hug. Guy: can you take off my helmet & put it on yourself? it's bothering me. -In the newspaper the next day a motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that the breaks were out and he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him she loved him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so that she would live even if it meant that he would die. If you would do the same for a person you love then copy this into your profile! I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear. We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me. I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male. Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it. FEMALE COMEBACKS!! They are the funniest thing ever! pick up line comebacks, add to it Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you. Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator. Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized. Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there? Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together. Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together Man: Your eyes they're amazing. Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing. Man: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Woman: It's gonna hurt when I hit you upside the head When you were 5, your mom gave you a ice cream cone. You thank her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind. When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming class to soccer and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back. When you were 10, your mom payed for piano classes. You thanked her by never coming to class. When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thanked her by talking on the phone all night. When you were 14, your mom payed for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter. When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got. When you were 17, your mom drove you to the mall and gave you her credit card. You thanked her by maxing it out. When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn. When you were 20, your mom drove you to collage. You thanked her by saying good-bye to her outside the dorm so you wouldn't have to say bye in front of your friends. When you were 26, your mom payed for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world. When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents became to children. Then, one day, she quietly died and everything you did came crashing down on you. If YOU love your mom, re-post this and if you don't, you won't care if your mom dies, will you? 5 top ways to get kicked out of stop shop ( for your safety do NOT do number 1 which is the deadliest one) 5. Walk up to an employee and ask if there any litter boxes and when he shows say "do you have any larger, i need something i can fit in duh" 4. Run up to someone you don't know and give them a hug 3. Play with ALL the toys and after you break them walk away like nothing happened 2. Throw a banana at the cashier and say " YOU BROKE MY BANANA I WANT A REFUND!" 1. Crash into stop and shop a yell " ISN'T THERE A DRIVE THROUGH, PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID THESE DAYS" FUNNY QUOTES TO SAY: Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back. Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up. A friend will comfort you when he rejects you, but a best friend will go up to him and say "Its because your gay isn't it?" God created man-THEN had a better idea! Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh,he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions. You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. Hard work never killed anybody,but why take a chance? Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there's footprints on the moon. "I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive," (So very very true...) Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together THINGS TO DO WHEN BORED IN A STORE 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens. 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay by. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!" 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!" 1.) Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head. 2.) Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. 3.) Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it? 4.) Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'? 7.) If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from? 8.) "Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton 10.) “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” – Unknown 11.) “Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.” – Unknown 13.) Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster. 14.) Oh god! They took my freaking kidney!(AWESOME) 16.) I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again. 17.) There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count. 18.) Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that jerk upside the head. 19.) "Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs." 20.) Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin. 21.) Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days". 23.) They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly I think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," I don't think many people would be dead... 24.) I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes. 25.) Everyone has a wild side - me and my friends just prefer to make them public. 26.) Guns don't kill people. I do. 27.) A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. 28.) He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron. 29.) My imaginary friend doesn't like you either. 30.) Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss. 32.) The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. 33.) The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45. 34.) Assassinations is an extreme form of censorship. 36.) I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet! 37.) I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. 38.) I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have! 39.) Somebody needs a Happy Meal. 41.) So, you're a cannibal. 42.) Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing. 44.) There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. 45.) 'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUH! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO! 46.) I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you. 47.) Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock! MWAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 48.) I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow. 49.) Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again. 50.) To put it nicely, I hope you choke. 51.) It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn. 52.) I'm not insensitive, I just don't care. 53.) If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem. 54.) The evil gnomes poked me in the bum with a stick. 55.) Would you like a cookie? So would I. 56.) You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear. 57.) Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck. 58.) A day without sunshine is like... night. 59.) A rejected invention: Instant water! just add water! 60.) Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot ... 61.) Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!! 62.) Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls. 63.) I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect! 64.) I do what cheerios tell me. 65.) I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'. 66.) I'm hearing voices in my head and they don't like you! 67.) I'm knocking on heavens door.. voice in back round: Knocking? You very nearly broke the bloody thing down!! me: That wasn't my fault!! It was poor construction... I SWEAR!! Don't look at me like that... 68.) If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth. 69.) My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet... 70.) Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions. 71.) Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, But Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous. 72.) Okay...so there's this thing called retarded-ness and me and my friends, well...We've gone pro. FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall. BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you. FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha- loser!" FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you. FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run, fuck, run!" FRIENDS: Will help you move. BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies. FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "DAMN, we messed up!" FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Girl drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste! FRIENDS: Will ignore this. BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this! PLEASE READ. I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' "OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me! I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose. My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message. 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In". 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds". 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy". 8. Don't use any punctuation. 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go". 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood. 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!" 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!" 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity . Post this on your profile to make someone smile! A white man said, “Colored people are not allowed here.” The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: “Listen sir…when I was born I was BLACK When I grew up I was BLACK, When I’m sick I’m BLACK, When I go in the sun I’m BLACK, When I’m cold I’m BLACK, When I die I’ll be BLACK. But you sir. When you are born you’re PINK When you grow up you’re WHITE, When you’re sick, you’re GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you’re cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?” The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away… (Copy & Paste If Ur Against Racism.) You know your in the 21st Century when: 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave 2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is because they don't have a screen name or my space 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote then press the buttons on the TV 6.) Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job 7.) As you read this you keep nodding and smiling 8.) As you read this you think about sending it to all your friends 9.)and you were to busy to notice number 5 10.) You scroll back up again to see if there was a number 5 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly 12.) Put this in your profile, and you know fell for it too What to do in an elevator 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" 2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves. 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral. 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons. 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on." 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?" 12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space." 14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?" 18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!" 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers. 21) SWAT at flies that don't exist. 22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it. 23) WHEN the lift is going down, scream, "We're all gonna die!" 24) CONGRATULATE all for being in the same lift as you. 25) GRIMACE painfully while clutching your forehead while saying, "Shut up! All of you, just SHUT UP!" 26) WALK into the lift and say, "This reminds me of being burried alive. AH, those were the days..." 27) TAKE shoes off before entering. Then look with disgust at others if they don't. 28) ASK people which floor they want. Whenever they answer, glare at them and say, "You should be ashamed of yourself!" 29) DRESS yourself in a long black coat with a hood, stare at everyone and in a deep voice announce: "It is time..." 30) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him/ her to call you Admiral. A poem about Child Abuse My name is Lucifer I am three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren’t ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can’t do a wrong I can’t speak at all Or else I'm locked up All day long. When I'm awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren’t home When my mommy does come home I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll just get One whipping tonight. I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie’s bar. I hear him curse My name is called I press myself Against the wall I try to hide From his evil eyes I’m so afraid now I’m starting to cry He finds me weeping Calls me ugly words, He says its my fault He suffers at work. He slaps and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And run to the door He’s already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken, "I’m sorry!", I scream But it's now much to late His face has been twisted Into a unimaginable shape The hurt and the pain Again and again O please God, have mercy! O please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door While I lay there motionless Brawled on the floor My name is Lucifer I am three, Tonight my daddy Murdered me Now I roam the underworld, to help those in need. I may seem evil, but I'm not. And if you read this and don’t pass it on I pray for your forgiveness Because you would have to be One heartless person To not be effected By this Poem And because you are effected, Do something about it! So all i ask you to do Is pass this on! IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE CHILD ABUSE AND BULLYING ARE NOT OKAY!!!!!! I hate Child Abuse, and I saw this on someone's profile and was sad from it Hush, little sister Please don't cry I wish I could be there To sing you a lullaby I can see your arms Bloodied and bruised That's strange, little sister Mine were like that too I know you scream When Daddy's there Hush, little sister I know you're scared I can see the way He's hurting you I'm sorry, little sister He did that to me too I know that people Ignore what's going on at home That makes me angry, little sister You shouldn't have to be alone Hey, little sister You wanna know why I'm not there? It's a sad story, little sister But people should care You see, little sister One day Daddy got high You were asleep in your crib So you didn't hear my cry He screamed at me And smashed my head against the door While you slept, little sister I died on the floor You know, little sister I don't think that I would have died If someone had only bothered To listen to my cries But hush, little sister Daddy's coming home Quick, get into bed You don't want him to find you alone I'm sorry little sister He's in a bad mood Run while you can Uh oh little sister He's lifting his belt Scream while you can, little sister Call for help Hush little sister You don't need to cry No one can hurt you You're in my arms tonight. - Anonymous If you hate child abuse, please copy this onto your profile. IF YOU IGNORE THIS WITHOUT READING IT YOU HAVE NO HEART...BUT IF YOU FIND YOU CANNOT STOP UNTIL YOU REACH THE END THEN YOU MUST HAVE A VERY BIG HEART. Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school He told his friends that it was cool And when he pulled the trigger back It shot with a great crack Mummy I was a good girl I did what I was told I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another And all because he got the gun from his older brother Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush And tell my little sister that she is the only one now And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class And never to forget this and please don't let this pass Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack Mummy listen to me if you would I wanted to go to college I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with daddy On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married I wanted to have a kid I wanted to be an actress Mummy I wanted to live But mummy I must go now The time is getting late Mummy tell my Chris I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date I love you mummy I always have I know you know it's true Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you" In memory of the Colombian students that were lost Please if you would Pass this around I'd be happy if you could Don't smash this on the ground If you pass this on Maybe people will cry Just keep this in heart For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye" Now you have two choices 1) repost and show you care 2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart (Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care) I am a Druid and not afraid to say it! I overuse the word 'awesome'. You can be assured there will never be any yaoi/yuri in ANY of my fan-fictions. Be warned-I am liable to fan-girl squeal. I don't bite, please feel free to drop me a note or review, and tell me what you think of my writing! For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumb-war with yourself. So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile. If you are against racism, copy this onto your profile. THE ONLY RACE IS HUMANITY! For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. I only placed the ones that are me :). I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. I'm a GIRL, so I MUST be WEAK. I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch. I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell. I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player. I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. I’m a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude. I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7. I'm a FEMALE, so I MUST not SWEAR. I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone. I am a FAN-GIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak. I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo. I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth. I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy. I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex. I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED. I wear BLACK nail polish, so I MUST be EMO, GOTH, or PUNK. I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard. I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean. I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting. I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too. I am an HONOR STUDENT, so I MUST be a NERD. I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems. I have BLACK HAIR, so I MUST not be WHITE I believe in COMPLIMENTING people, so I MUST be a KISS-ASS I've read TWILIGHT, so I MUST be a crazily obsessed FAN-GIRL. I can eat FIVE SLICES of pizza in one sitting, so I MUST be FAT I like SLEEPING I, so I MUST be a lazy TEENAGER. I like SHOPPING, so I MUST be a GIGGLING GIRLY-GIRL I am HONEST, so I MUST be MEAN I say I like STAYCATIONS, so I MUST be trying to save GAS I do WELL in school, so I MUST LOVE it. I don't like DANCING, so I MUST be ANTISOCIAL I listen to my IPOD, so I MUST not care about the people AROUND me. I can’t just EXERCISE without a purpose, so I MUST have no MOTIVATION I am a GIRL, so I MUST not like MATH. I have ACNE problems, so I must not care about my personal HYGIENE you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all: I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile! Yup! Funny Quotes: don't own any of this!! "NOTICE: Thank you for noticing this new notice. Your noticing it will be noted. Now you will notice that this notice was not worth noticing." "Pretty purple ponies prance in purple palaces" "I wanna be an Elf!!" "People are like slinkies: basically useless, but so amusing to watch fall down the stairs" "Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?" "If at first you don't succeed, redefine succeed" "Never say 'Things couldn't get any worse', cause God takes it as a personal challenge" "If you try to fail, but succeed, which have you done?" "It's just AMAZING!! You're completely wrong again!" "That which does not kill me, had better start running pretty fast" "Survival, what a drag" "There's no I in TEAM, but there's a ME if you jumble it up" "You, off my planet" "Well, we always suspected that thinking was dangerous" "I don't know what's wrong with you, but I'll wager it's hard to pronounce" "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing" "Worst excuse for not doing homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy from" "Best excuse for not doing homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy from" "What happens if you get half scared to death twice?" "A repair shop: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR- THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)" "There are two types of pedestrians: the quick and the dead" "Love your enemies, it'll make them crazy" "There are 3 kinds of people: Those who can count and Those who can't" "STUPID= Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand" "When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then just sit back and let the world wonder how you did it." "My mind is like lightening, one brilliant flash, then it's gone" "Evil beware: we have Waffles" "He who laughed last thought the slowest" "The silent ones are always the deadliest" "Lol, I just had a funny idea! Wait never mind...I lost it..." "Ask, did you feel that?" "When the doors on an elevator close, say, 'it's ok, they'll open again" Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity copy and paste this into your profile! XD |
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