boldrhyhorn321
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Joined 05-25-13, id: 4745652, Profile Updated: 11-03-13
Author has written 1 story for Pokémon.

Yes hello! I enjoy long walks on the beach, and long smut oneshots. I am a part of the Pokemon fandom, the Sherlock fandom, and the Doctor Who fandom, among many others, but I will most likely write more for those three than anything else.

(\_/)
(='.'=) Put him on your
(")_(") homepage and help him on his
way to WORLD DOMINATION!!

comebacks that always work

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.

If you have a profile, paste this on your profile.

If you are really random put this on your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you still love cartoons despite your age, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

90% of teens will want to try a drug between the ages of 13-19. If you are one of the 10 that rather lose a limb before taking drugs, copy this into your profile.

98% of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you're friends give you odd looks for being yourself, copy this into your profile.

If you love copy thingies, copy this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions:
"Put on fork and eat."
(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's just a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On artificial bacon:
"Real artificial bacon bits".
(So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief)

Things to do on an Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

Ways to make sure you're insane

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy"

Ask your dog if it's comfortable with it's name. Repeat with cat, until people ask if you're alright.

As often as possible, skip rather than walk

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go"

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because your not in the mood.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! they're loose!!"

If you ever tripped where there was a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN, copy and paste this onto your profile.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (Alot meaning all the time...)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)

One thing: What's the big deal about Twilight? If you don't get what the big flipping deal about Twilight is, copy and paste this onto your profile

15 Things to do in Walmart

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"

25 Reasons I owe my mother.

1. My mother taught me to APPERCIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3.My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into next week."

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORSIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about,"

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mout and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about weather.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

10. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck."

11. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

" You'll sit there until all that spinich is gone."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a millon times. Don't exaggerate."

13. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children i htis world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

16. My mother taught me about about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home!"

17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing you eyes, their going to freeze that way."

18. My mother taught me about RECIEVING.

" You are going to get it when we get home."

19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold."

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come crying to me."

21. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

22. My mother taught me MOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables you'll never grow up."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut the door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

" When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you."

Skies As Grey As Battleships by Falcitrix reviews
AU. Unova's involvement in a worldwide war places stress and restrictions on the entire region. When Touya and Touko are forced to move to Castelia, they come face to face with the effects of war and all the resistance and discontent it breeds. And as leader of the anti-government organization Team Plasma, N has plans of his own for the Unova region. N/Touya.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 90 - Words: 217,875 - Reviews: 226 - Favs: 190 - Follows: 202 - Updated: 1/17/2015 - Published: 10/14/2012 - Hilbert/Touya, N H./Natural H. G.
Twisted Slowly reviews
Kyouhei lives in a neo-industrialized Unova, where factories have once again become the norm. In this Steampunk AU, Pokemon battles are outlawed, and Our Lord Lance and Our Lady Whitney run Unova, as a sort of tyrant. Kyouhei works with a secret society, the Unova Vigilantes, in hopes to make Lance and Whitney fall from reign. Language and violence are the main warnings.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,165 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/3/2013 - N H./Natural H. G., Nate/Kyouhei, Hugh/Hyuu