Finnocent Bystander
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Joined 02-24-11, id: 2763971, Profile Updated: 05-06-11

Since you're looking at my profile, it's safe to assume I've reviewed you. Badly. And now, you're a little bit peeved. You've arrived here, on my dandy profile, to discover, that not only did I make you cry, but that I don't even write. What nerve! What gall! Who do I think I am?

Well, fictioners, I'm the Finnocent Bystander.

About Me: In case you're wondering if I'm qualified to review you, here's why I definitely am: I can spell words like 'definitely'. I know the difference between your and you're. Also: there, their and they're. I'm over the age of 16. And, I do have some working knowledge of sexuality. I'm North American, so I'm familiar with the common vernacular. I know words like vernacular. And I promise, I'm doing this for your own good. And mine. After all, I'm the one reading this garbage.

Who I Ship: Finn/Puck (and it's Fuck. Not Pinn. Pinn is just ridiculous.) Will/Sue. McGee/DiNozzo. Taub/Chase. (Fuck House/Wilson. That ship has sailed.) Greg/Hodges. Morgan/Reid/Garcia. Hotch/Rossi. And assorted other small pairings that get no love out here in the wasteland that is ff.net

Reasons To Review: I consider myself to be performing a public service with my reviews. 'Cause frankly, you people need all the help you can get. Between bad spelling, hideous grammar, poor characterization and plots that are so abysmal it makes me cry, I feel I have a lot of work to do. Go ahead and hate on me, haters, but you know I speak the truth.

Reasons I Don't Write: Oh, I write. I write reviews. My reviews are better than some of your fiction. Just sayin'.

Do not put statements in the negative form.
And don't start sentences with a conjunction.
If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a
great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.
De-accession euphemisms.
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
Last, but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.
~William Safire, "Great Rules of Writing"