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![]() Author has written 2 stories for Private, and Clique. MOST IMPORTANT THING. IF YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO BETA READ, PLEASE FOLLOW TE FOLLOWING INFORMATIN FOR THE EASIEST AND SAFEST WAY TO BETA READ!!!ALSO READ DOCX GUIDE you can send files to each other through Doc sharing. When you are at your control panel there should be a tab that says DocX click on it. Then there are four options the last one is connections. Click on that. There is a drop down box, choose which one you want to use. UserID is the simplest, just type in the user's ID (ITS A NUMBER THAT CAN BE FOUND ON YOUR ACCOUNT PAGE.)then create connection. The person you want to connect with has to do the same thing with you so that you both are connected to each other. After that you can send files to each other. To sent a file just go to your outbox under the DocX tab and choose the recipient then choose the file. (You shoud have up loaded it to your documents just like any story that you would like to post, just don't actually post it until after your beta fixes it.) It lets you type a short message and then you just send it. Since you are on the beta side of things all you would need to do is create the connection and wait for them to send it to you. When you get something it will be in your inbox under the DocX tab and you just click on the little icon under the view column. You would upload your new file into your documents to send it back after you have finished editing it imagine every 3 hot pink beads, there are then 3 black beads. so it goes pppbbbpppbbbpppbbb, p=hot pink b=black For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.) 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off. 93 percent of teenagers would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7 percent that would say "What was your first clue?” copy this onto your profile. 92 percent of American teens would die if Fang told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would tell Fang to get over himself and then shove him back in your basement where he belongs. Then, you would resurrect the 92 percent of overzealous fangirls and use them as your zombie army to take over Canada and rename it Canadia where you would rule as Queen with Fang by your side as your extremely hot king who has no real political power except to stand there and make you look good. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it.Crazy is when you try to make up the twilight characters signatures. Crazy is when you go on a sugar high when you haven't eaten anything sugary all day. Crazy is when you buy book, read it in a day, don't remember an thing, and give it to your friend anyways. Crazy is when you are more involved in your friend's relationship then they are. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list! If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. 98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile. If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you went to sleep at around 2 am reading Twilight and/or New Moon and/or Eclipse, copy and pastes this onto your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile. If you have ever said something twice, and when someone said something, you had no recollection of saying it either time, copy and paste to your profile. We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You just off a bridge, damn, I'm gonna miss your dumb ass. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15,Marigold Winters, SparklingTopazEyes, alpha-omega1996, tlover13, tigger-612 citygirl09, foreverroses, Miss-Reed-Brennan I'm bored...If you’re bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do... 1 in 10 people born is gay. That means 1 of every 10 people is instantly put down, given bad labels, left alone, put in a minority, and so much else...all for something they didn't ask for. Many gay teens are resorting to suicide as a way of escaping. If you want to tell them ...life will get better, and you respect ...them for who they are, copy and paste this. Many won't, but let's see who will. 1.WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? Shut up- Simple Plan 2.WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Up- Justin beiber 3.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? When I'm With You -Simple Plan 4.WHAT IS 2+2? girlfriend-Avril Lavigne 5.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Mine-Taylor swift 6.WHAT DO YOU THINK AOUT THE PERSON YOU LIKE? God Must Hate me-Simple plan 7.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? untitled-Simple plan 8.WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Thank you-Simple plan 9.WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Overboard-Justin Bieber 10.WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK ABOUT YOU? I'd Do Anything-Simple Plan 11.WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Before he cheats-Carrie underwood 12.WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? The Story of Us-Taylor Swift 13.WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? Meet you there-Simple PLan 14.WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? one day-simple plan 15.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS? One of those girls-avril lavigne 16.WHAT IS THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN? one more day-simple plan 17.HOW WILL YOU DIE? Addicted-Simple Plan 18.WHAT IS ONE THING YOU'LL REGRET? Don't forget to remember me-carrie underwood 19.WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH? You smile-justin bieber 20.WHAT MAKES YOU CRY? That's the way I love you-taylor swift 21.WILL YOU EVER MARRIED? never grow up-taylor swift 22.WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST? Arlington-trace adkins 23.DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU? white horse-taylor swift 24.IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE? when your gone-avril lavigne 25.WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW? The best damn thing-avril lavigne 26.WHAT IS YOUR THEME SONG? enchanted-taylor swift If your life was a movie Rules: 4. DON'T SKIP ANY SONGS!!! ;) No matter how ridiculous it gets. OPENING CREDITS Some hearts-carrie underwood WAKING UP When I'm With you-simple plan FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL Where are you now?-justin bieber FALLING IN LOVE hey stephen-taylor swift FIGHT SONG shut up-simple plan BREAKING UP you belong with me-taylor swift PROM NIGHT your not sorry-taylor swift LIFE Welcome to my life-simple plan(omg lol, that is really funny!!!) MENTAL BREAKDOWN Stuck in the moment-justin bieber DRIVING change-taylor swift FLASHBACK Arlington-trace adkins GETTING BACK TOGETHER Back to December-taylor swift WEDDING Find me a preacher-trace adkins BIRTH OF A CHILD never grow up-taylor swift FINAL BATTLE Runaway love-justin bieber FUNERAL SONG (I hate) everything about you-three doors down FINAL CREDITSThat's the way I loved you-taylor swift FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall. BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you. FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you. FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in. FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!" FRIENDS: Will help you move. BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies. FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS! FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up! FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste! FRIENDS: Would read ignore this. BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit! FRIENDS: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night BEST FRIENDS: Will pick out "The Ring" for movie night then scare you and himself/herself in the process FRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and say nice to meet you BEST FRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and scare the BLEEP out of him/her by threatening to break every bone in him/her's body if he/she hurts your best friend FRIENDS: comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend BEST FRIENDS: go over to his house and kick his ass FRIENDS: tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house BEST FRIENDS: best friends are the ones getting fined by the police with you FRIENDS: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping right after you FRIENDS: come over every couple of months for a sleepover BEST FRIENDS: are your weekend boarders FRIENDS: are offended when you make fun of them BEST FRIENDS: kick your ass and all's forgiven FRIENDS: are shy around your boyfriend BEST FRIENDS: will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine FRIENDS: don't see you if you're sick BEST FRIENDS: are why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone FRIENDS:dare you to scream into the street BEST FRIENDS: dare you to go streaking FRIENDS: call you retarded for running threw bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!" (don't ask you don't want to know) BEST FRIENDS: are screaming and running with you If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile. If several inanimate objects hate you, post this on profile. YOUR GUY SIDE: (x)You love hoodies. TOTAL: 15 YOUR GIRL SIDE: (x)You wear lip gloss/chapstick. TOTAL: 21 im part guy, but mostly girl!!!(: 1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4. "Actually it works on everyone" Tinsley, it girl 'lucky' 2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch? Air 3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? johnny test(8 4. Without looking, guess what time it is: 8:15 5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 8:04 6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? My phone's music playing 7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? getting my dogs in 8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at? The author's profile that I got this quiz off of 9. What are you wearing? sophie's shorts, my hair up with a pretty pink ribbon and a white flowyish shirt 10. Did you dream last night? idr, but you always dream...(: 11. When did you last laugh? I laugh too much to remember 12. What is on the walls of the room you are in? a bulliton board with stuff me and my sister drew/painted/made 13. Seen anything weird lately? yup 14. What do you think of this quiz? eh 15. What is the last film you saw? Beastly 16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? all the animals that dont have homes, a huh-uge house, a 1963 red with white racing stripes monte carlo, and a bright orange el camino 17. Tell me something about you that I don't know: I have four dogs, one cat, started this club for animals at school, im a nonredmeatatarion(i dont eat red meat, only turkey fish and chicken) been like tht for a yr 18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? Save all the animals in the world 19. Do you like to dance? heck yes 20. George Bush: ... better than obama(sorry to those tht like obama) 21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? my daughter, but others would call her Rhyliee Ann Black(or beiber, maybe Cullen or efron)22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? my son, but others would call him Jacob Ryan Black(or beiber, maybe Cullen or efron)23. Would you ever consider living abroad? Yes! I might senior yr high school, or freshman yr college 24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the "pearly gates"? YOU MADE IT!!! EDWARD CULLEN IS WAITING FOR YOU IN YOUR HOUSE!!! Meaning of color and your birthday! Don 't cheat, If you are honest, this tells the truth. It's pretty good. Write your answers on a piece of paper, and NO cheating!, The answers are at the bottom. 1. Which is your favorite color out of: red , black , blue , green , or yellow? 2. Your first initial? 3. Your month of birth? 4. Which color do you like more, black or white? 5. Name of a person of the same sex as yours. 6. Your favorite number? 7. Do you like Flying or Driving more? 8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more? 9. Write down a wish (a realistic one). When you're done, scroll down. (Don't cheat!) Answers: 1. If you choose: Red - You are alert and your life is full of love. Black - You are conservative and aggressive. Green - Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. Blue- You are spontaneous and love, kisses and affection from the ones you love. Yellow - You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down. 2. If your initial is: A-K You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R You try to enjoy your life to the maximum & your love life is soon to blossom. S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good. 3. If you were born in: Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever. July-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good. Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be great, but eventually you will find your soul mate. 4. If you chose: Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it. 5. This person is your best friend. 6. This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime. 7. If you chose: Flying: You like adventure. Driving: You are a laid back person. 8. If you chose: Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved. Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people. 9. This wish will come true only if you re-post this in one hour as "Meaning of color and your birthday!" and it will come true before your next birthday A True Boyfriend = When she walks away from you mad When she stare's at your mouth When she pushes you or hit's you When she start's cussing at you When she's quiet When she ignore's you When she pull's away When you see her at her worst When you see her start crying When you see her walking When she's scared When she lay's her head on your shoulder When she steal's your favorite hat When she tease's you When she doesnt answer for a long time When she look's at you with doubt When she say's that she like's you When she grab's at your hands When she bump's into you When she tell's you a secret When she looks at you in your eyes When she misses you When you break her heart When she says its over When she repost this bulletin Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go- When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.- Tease her and let her tease you back.- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.- Give her the world.- Let her wear your clothes.- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.- Let her know she's important.- Kiss her in the pouring rain.- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will : you love Jacob Black more than Edward, copy this to your profile! If you think Jacob is too sexy for his shirt, then copy this to your profile! If you love Jacob Black more than anything, then copy this to your profile! If you are in love with a fictional character copy and paste this into your profile. If you are so obsessed with the Twilight series that it isn't even funny anymore copy and paste this into your profile. If you think Jacob Black is the sexiest guy in the world copy and paste this into your profile. If you think Fire is better than Ice copy and paste this into your profile. If you think Jacob Black was meant for Bella Swan copy and paste this into your profile. Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up. It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face. Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls. I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? The road to success is always under construction. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate. The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide. Sometimes I wonder "why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me. Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics. When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died Everyone Is Entitled To Their Own Opinion, It Just That Your's Is Stupid Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually. 3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their butts! 5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the darn floor. 6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, it can't be new. 8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer? 9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbie? The Twilight Oath I promise to remember Bella Each time I carelessly fall down And I promise to remember Edward Whenever I'm out of town I promise to obey traffic laws For Charlies sake of course And I promise to remember Jacob When my heart fills with remorse I promise to remember Carlisle When ever I am in the Emergency Room And I promise to remember Emmett Every time there's a huge boom I promise to to remember Rose Whenever I see someone that holds pure beauty And I promise to remember Alice When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me I promise to remember Nessie When I see that beautiful curly hair And I promise to remember Esme When someone tells me that they care I promise to remember Jasper Whenever my emotions are unfurled And I promise to remember the Volturi When someone speaks of dominating the world Yes I promise to love Twilight Wherever I may go So that all may see my obsession Because I know what the Twilighters know Pick the month you were born: Pick the day (number) you were born on: Pick the color of shirt you are wearing: I KISSED MY BEST FRIENDS BOYFRIEND BECAUSE I THINK I NEED SOME SERIOUS HELP!(: Your One and Only Wish Do it one by one, don't look ahead! 1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex. 2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow? 3. Your first initial? 4. Your month of birth? 5. Which color do you like more, black or white? 6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours. 7. Your favorite number? 8. Do you like California or Florida more? 9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more? 10. Write down a wish (a realistic one). Are you done? If so, scroll down (don't cheat--) THE ANSWERS 1. You are completely in love with this person. 2. If you choose: Red: You are alert and your life is full of love. Black: You are conservative and aggressive. Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love. Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down. 3. If your initial is: A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom. S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good. 4. If you were born in: Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever. July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good. Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soulmate. 5. If you choose... Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it. 6. This person is your best friend. 7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime. 8. If you choose... California: You like adventure. Florida: You are a laidback person. 9. If you choose... Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved. Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people. 10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes." "People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door." You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both. Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable. Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. Two most common elements in the universe: Hydrogen & Stupidity. Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken... I smile cause I don't know what the hell is going on. I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y". I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what someone would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. Tell the truth and run. When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... Don't mess with me I've got a stick and I have nowhere to pot it! I ran with scissors, and lived! The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you. Smile, and the world will smile back at you. Laugh, and they'll all think you're on drugs. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing. The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy. If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation. My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. Ever stop to think and forget to start again? You're intoxocated by my very presence Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! I smile because I have no idea what's going on! Life was so simple when boys had cooties! I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends Being mature is overrated. Being weird is like being normal, only better. I see regular people! I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me. Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright. Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full. Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over. One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. I don't suffer from insanity,... I enjoy every minute of it Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch? Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that. Your weirdness is creeping the voices in my head out. Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars. To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, off the occasional cliff and into sliding glass doors. I’m not afraid of Death, what’s he gonna do kill me? Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner! Person #2: Too bad the world is round! Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional... If two wrongs don't make a right, try three I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun. We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves. One bright day in the middle of the night, Your eyebrows are as beautiful as an enormus caterpillar. When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS! My friend's the kind of person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN" I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator! Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both. I agree with the dictionary. girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3? "Education is important, school however, is another matter." "What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? "He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it. I walk in the rain, When life gives you lemons, throw them back and yell, I WANT DEMITRI BELIKOV!! They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people. There is no I in team but the is an I in PIE and there is an PIE in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM... Everything here is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is frowned upon in most societies. ~Charlie and the Chocolate Factory When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back. Come to the dark side. We have DIMITRI! YOU CALL ME A BITCH. A BITCH IS A FEMALE DOG,DOG BARK, BARK IS ON TREES, TREES ARE IN NATURE AND NATURE IS BEAUTIFUL SO THANKE FOR THE COMPLIMENT:P “I am sick of people having a near deathexperienceand saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!” You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it. "Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face." Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought. "The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide." "Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that." My prince doesn't wear shiny armour. Sometimes you just have to smile and walk away...hold your tears in and pretend you are okay. "Roses are red, violets are blue, god made me pretty, but what the hell happened to you?" "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice and I'll kill you." "If at first you don't success, redefine success." F.I.N.A.L.S-Fuck, I never actually learned this shit. "Never say 'Things couldn’t get any worse.' God takes that as a personal challenge." "If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?" "It's just AMAZING! You're completely wrong again!" "Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject." "Jesus is coming! Everybody look busy!" That which does not kill me, had better run pretty damn fast." "Do you remember when Pluto was a planet, yeah, those were the days." "I suffer from C.R.S. (Can't remember shit)" "Best friends means killing each other over a bag of chips and in the end not saying sorry but...ha-ha too bad loser!" "Bravo. You really know how to make an ass out of yourself." "One night I was lying awake when I asked myself 'what's wrong with me?' Then a voice answered 'this is going to take more then one night.'" "If you talk to God you're religious. If God talks to you, you're psychotic." "You, off my planet." “I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but I’ll wager it’s hard to pronounce.” "Well, we always suspected that thinking was dangerous." Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? If you die, I'll kill you! A repair shop: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK) Don't steal, the government hates competition. I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on. Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. Work fascinates me. I could sit and watch it for hours. "There Are Three Kinds of People - Those Who Can Count and Those Who Can't" "I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids." "Never go to bed mad. Stay up and plot your revenge". "I used to think I was poor. Then they told me I wasn't poor, I was needy. Then they told me it was self-defeating to think of myself as needy. I was deprived. (Oh not deprived but rather underprivileged) Then they told me that underprivileged was overused. I was disadvantaged. I still don't have a dime. But I have a great vocabulary." "I'm gonna live forever, or die trying." "I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I must be perfect!" I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it. homework is killing trees, stop the madness! Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. Life is like a role of toilet paper; hopefully long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong moment. "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." "Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." "Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk." Be like a duck, my mother used to tell me. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath. "I have the answer in my head. I just haven’t found it yet" "I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman." If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception. STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him ... If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. He said ... Alright... you're ugly too! I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it. So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey. Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat. We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful. All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power. Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES! We are not retreating...we are advancing in another direction. How do you save your enemy from drowning? Take your foot of his/her head! I'm bored. Run for your sanity. The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into school. Evil beware, we have waffles. "Hey, make up your mind. Am I a genius, or a creep?" "You're a creepy genius." "Did you study for today's test?" "You bet. Ask me anything you want about history-" "Uh, that's great, but the test is in math." The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at. What doesn't kill you, only puts you in the hospital for a few weeks! I used up all my sick days so I called in dead. I'm gonna survive even if it kills me. If first you don’t succeed… maybe losing is your style. I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen. EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later. He who laughs last thinks slowest! Make yourself at home ...clean my kitchen The silent ones are always the deadliest. I’ll be dead before I die. Stupid words! Where are they when you need them?! I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down, stay put and shut up. Silence is golden, duct tape is silver. All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies. (P.S IDC IF I REPEATED SOME OF THEM!!!) Sometimes you put up walls not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down. Don't mess with me I've got a stick and I have nowhere to put it! I ran with scissors, and lived! The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you. Smile, and the world will smile back at you. Laugh, and they'll all think you're on drugs. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing. The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy. If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation. My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. Ever stop to think and forget to start again? You're intoxocated by my very presence. Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! Life was so simple when boys had cooties! I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard. I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends. Being mature is overrated. Being weird is like being normal, only better. I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me. Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright. Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full. Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over. One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. I don't suffer from insanity,... I enjoy every minute of it. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch? Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that. Your weirdness is creeping the voices in my head out. Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars. To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world. One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, off the occasional cliff and into sliding glass doors. I’m not afraid of Death, what’s he gonna do? kill me? It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it? Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner! If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun. One bright day in the middle of the night, Your eyebrows are as beautiful as an enormus caterpillar. When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS! My friend's the kind of person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN" I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator! I agree with the dictionary. girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3? "Education is important, school however, is another matter." "What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? "He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it. I walk in the rain, You say Romeo and Juliet, When life gives you lemons, throw them back and yell, I WANT DEMITRI BELIKOV!! They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people. There is no I in team but the is an I in PIE and there is an PIE in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM... Everything here is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is frowned upon in most societies. ~Charlie and the Chocolate Factory When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back. Come to the dark side. We have DIMITRI! YOU CALL ME A BITCH. A BITCH IS A FEMALE DOG,DOG BARK, BARK IS ON TREES, TREES ARE IN NATURE AND NATURE IS BEAUTIFUL SO THANKE FOR THE COMPLIMENT:P “I am sick of people having a near deathexperienceand saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!” You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it. "Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face." Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought. "The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide." "Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that." My prince doesn't wear shiny armour. Sometimes you just have to smile and walk away...hold your tears in and pretend you are okay. "Roses are red, violets are blue, god made me pretty, but what the hell happened to you?" "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice and I'll kill you." "If at first you don't success, redefine success." F.I.N.A.L.S-Fuck, I never actually learned this shit. "Never say 'Things couldn’t get any worse.' God takes that as a personal challenge." If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? "It's just AMAZING! You're completely wrong again!" "Jesus is coming! Everybody look busy!" That which does not kill me, had better run pretty damn fast. "Do you remember when Pluto was a planet, yeah, those were the days." I suffer from C.R.S. (Can't remember shit) "Bravo. You really know how to make an ass out of yourself." "One night I was lying awake when I asked myself 'what's wrong with me?' Then a voice answered 'this is going to take more then one night.'" "If you talk to God you're religious. If God talks to you, you're psychotic." "You, off my planet." “I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but I’ll wager it’s hard to pronounce.” "Well, we always suspected that thinking was dangerous." Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. If you die, I'll kill you! A repair shop: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THEBELLDOESN'T WORK) Don't steal, the government hates competition. I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on. Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. Work fascinates me. I could sit and watch it for hours. "There Are Three Kinds of People - Those Who Can Count and Those Who Can't" "I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids." "Never go to bed mad. Stay up and plot your revenge". "I used to think I was poor. Then they told me I wasn't poor, I was needy. Then they told me it was self-defeating to think of myself as needy. I was deprived. (Oh not deprived but rather underprivileged) Then they told me that underprivileged was overused. I was disadvantaged. I still don't have a dime. But I have a great vocabulary." I'm gonna live forever, or die trying. "I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I must be perfect!" I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it. homework is killing trees, stop the madness! Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. Life is like a role of toilet paper; hopefully long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong moment. "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." "Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." "Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk." Be like a duck, my mother used to tell me. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath. "I have the answer in my head. I just haven’t found it yet." "I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman." If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception. STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him ... If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. He said ... Alright... you're ugly too! I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it. So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey. Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat. We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful. All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power. Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES! We are not retreating...we are advancing in another direction. How do you save your enemy from drowning? Take your foot of his/her head! I'm bored. Run for your sanity. The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into school. Evil beware, we have waffles. "Hey, make up your mind. Am I a genius, or a creep?" "You're a creepy genius." "Did you study for today's test?" "You bet. Ask me anything you want about history-" "Uh, that's great, but the test is in math." The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at. What doesn't kill you, only puts you in the hospital for a few weeks! I used up all my sick days so I called in dead. I'm gonna survive even if it kills me. If first you don’t succeed… maybe losing is your style. I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen. EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later. He who laughs last thinks slowest! Make yourself at home ...clean my kitchen. The silent ones are always the deadliest. I’ll be dead before I die. Stupid words! Where are they when you need them?! I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse. Silence is golden, duct tape is silver. All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies. You say Pink I don't run on COFFEE...I run on MUSIC You wanna be Romeo and Juliet? Okay then. You and your boyfriend can go commit suicide together. Suicide is a long term solution to a short term problem! Don't do it!!! If your not living on the edge, your taking up too much space! Don’t mess with me, I know kung-fu, karate and 47 other dangerous words. She's got him falling head over heels for her and I can't even get him to stumble... Days continue to pass, stars continue to shine. If You Really Love Something Set It Free. If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you I wouldn't miss you, but I did, I do and I will. In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away... When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile. Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one is watching. "I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry. "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." "You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel." To realise the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade. You've got to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you've got, and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget. Learn from mistakes, but never regret. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present. I got kicked out of the bookshop once for moving all the Bibles to the fiction section. If vodka was water and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and never come up. But vodka's not water and I'm not a duck so pass me a bottle and shut the fuck up. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. 6 REASONS NOT TO MESS WITH CHILDREN AND WHY THEY ARE CONSIDERED DIABOLICAL 1. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ". 2. A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute." 3. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, sheasked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill." 4. One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the sink. She suddenly notices that her mother had several strands of whitehair on her head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Whyare some of your hairs white, Momma?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time you do something to make me sad or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl pondered this revelation for a while, then said, Momma, how come ALL of Grandma's hairs are white?" 5. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead." 6. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples." A Mexican walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only Mexican man there. The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." "Listen Pendejo... When i was born, i was BROWN, "But you pendejo... "And you have the nerve to call me colored? Post this on your profile if you hate racism (Note: I'm not racist, even if i am white. I even have "colored" people in my family. I just think it's funny.) The Stupid Test! (Put an x next to the one that is you, than in the end, add up all of the x's. If you have 18 or less, than you are not stupid.) p.s. this is not a real test, just something for fun! (x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking. (x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking. (x) You have run into a glass/screen door. ( ) You have jumped out of a moving vehicle. (x) You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks. ~total=4~ (x) You have run into a tree. (x) It IS possible to lick your elbow(i saw this kid do it in my ela class, he is like double jointed it was freaky) () You just tried to lick your elbow. (x) You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star have the same rhythm. (x) You just tried to sing them. (x) You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen. (x) You have choked on your own spit. () You have seen the the Matrix and still don’t get it. () You didn’t notice that in the last question “the” was spelled twice () You just looked at it. (x) Your hair is blond/dirty blond/has blond in it. () People have called you slow. ~total so far= 11~ (x) You have accidentally caught something on fire () You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek. () You have caught yourself drooling. (x) You’ve fallen asleep in class (x) If someone says “fart” you laugh. () You just laughed. ~total so far= 14~ (x) Sometimes you just stop thinking (x) You tell a story and forget what you were talking about () People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you (x) You are often told to use your “inside voice”. () You use your fingers to do simple math. ~total so far= 17~ () You have eaten a bug. () You are taking this test when you should be doing something important () You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it (x) You have looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand, pocket, head, etc. ~total so far= 18~ (x) You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t even when you know it won’t happen to you. ()You break a lot of things. () Your friends know not to use big words around you (x) You sometimes tilt your head when you’re confused (X) You have fallen out of your chair before () When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling ~Total all together= 21~(IM NOT STUPID IM SPECIAL, THAT'S WHAT MY TEACHER TOLD ME!!!(: ) Girls Don't realize these things; I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry But most of all I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm Sorry I'm sorry Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry' If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' I really wish that more guys were like this, and I bet a lot of girls do too. Emmett's the Strongest, A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle Girl: Slow down, I'm scared! Guy: No, this is fun. Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you, now slow down! Guy: Now give me a big hug. She gives him a big hug Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me. In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live. If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste. This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded You know you live in 2000+ when... 1.) You accidentaly enter you password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) and you were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did. 16 things to do in Walmart. 42 Things to do in an Elevator List 12 Gossip Girl Characters. 1.Blair 2.Serena 3. jenny 4.Dan 5.Vanessa 6.Chuck 7.Eric 8.nate 9. georgina 10.Isabel 11.ben 12.juliet Have you ever read any Six/Eleven fics? that might be a little weird Do you think Four is Hot? NO!(: What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? maybe nate would get juliet preggo, but not the other way around Do you recall any fics about Nine? No Would Two and Six make a good couple? nope Five/Nine or Five/Ten? neither What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve making out? Eric would maybe accept it cuz of who he is, but not wiht juliet! Make up a summery for a Three/Ten fic. Thye try to take over blair Is there such a thing as One/Eight fluff? HELL YESH! Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic. in love with a gay(: jk, not being mean! If you wrote a Songfic about Eight,what song would you choose? maybe womanizer? If you wrote a fic about One/Twelve/Six what would be the warning? Warning: rated M for cuzzing, murder, and a lot of other violence When was the last time you read a fic about Five? idk How would you feel if Seven and Eight were in a fight? amused(: What would you think if you found out Five is a good friend of someone you know? be like...whteva Two and Eleven are your teachers.What would you think? yay no class cuz the two might be making out the whole time!!!(: Two has to Marry either Eight,Three or Six.Who do they choose? Nate, duh! (1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (7) dumps (1) for (9).(1),heartbroken,goes on a date with (11) and has an unhappy fling with (12),then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with(3). blair and eric are in a happy relationship until eric dumps blair for georgina. Blair ,heartbroken,goes on a date with benand has an unhappy fling with juliet,then follows the wise advice of Vanessa and finds true love with jenny. I thought eric was the gay! List 12 people that you know (You can name yourself) 1. kay 2. Emma 3. Elle 4. matthew 5. sarah a 6. cameron 7. bryce 8. mailee 9. heather 10. brandy 11. irene 12. jessica 1. Do you think 4 is hot? HELLS YESH! 2. Would 2 and 6 make a good couple? yes(: 3. 4 invites 3 and 8 to dinner at their house. What happens? mailee and elle would flirt wiht him the whole time!!! (he is hot enough to have that effect on girls) 4. 9 tries to get 5 to go to yoga class. What happens? seeing as they dont know each other, sarah would prob stil go(: and heather would be the type to ask someone that is my friend to go even if she didnt know them 5. You need to stay at a friend's house for the night. Do you choose twelve or six? CAMERON(: jk he's a guy, that would be akward, so jess 6. 2 and 7 are making out. 10 walks in their reaction? well if emma and bryce were making out, since everyone tells emma that bryce likes her , and because brandy doesnt know bryce,nothing would happen 7. 3 falls in love with 6. 8 is jealous. What happens? elle and cameron make mailee shut up(very hard thing to do!) and she finds a new crush in a week 8. 4 jumps you in a dark alleyway. Who comes to your rescue. 10 2 or 7. prob bryce 9. 1 decides to start a cooking show. 15 mintues later what is happening? it would be a mess, cuz kay is a spaz 10. 7 has to marry either 8 2 or 9. Who do they choose? most likely emma 11. 7 kidnaps 2 and demands something from 5 for 2s release. What is it? Bryce kidnaps emma, but they were kissing and he saved her from her mugging!): but probably her straightner 12. Everyone is invited to 2 and 10's wedding except for 12. How do they react? 13. Why is 6 afraid of 7? because bryce ate heather(: (7 ate 9) 14. 11 gathers everyone around to tell them a fairy tale. How does it go? it might be about doggies or food and names9: pretty well except for constant interuptions 15. 5 and 9 are roaring drunk and end up at your house. What happens? well i would make sure there parents didnt find out(: 16. 9 murders 2s best friend. What does 2 do to get back at 9? why would heather commit suicide??? 17. 6 and 1 are in mortal danger. Only one of them can survive. Does 6 save themself or 1? seeing as cameron is sometimes a entleman, he might save kay, but there is no telling 18. 7 makes an apple pie. Is it any good? probably not I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. 1.Jacob 2. esme 3.Alice 4.Edward 5.rosalie 6.emmett 7.jasper 8.embry 9.leah 10. victoria 11.bella 12.carlisle 1) Have you ever read a six/eleven fanfic before? nope! 2) Do you think four is hot? How hot? HELL YESH! but not as hot as 1!!! 3) What would happen if twelve got eight pregnant? a little hard for tht but i would accept it!(: 4) Do you recall any fics about nine? nope 5) Would two and six make a good couple? no.. just no 6) Five/Nine or five/ten? five/nine even though it is werewolf vampire, and gay, rose likes leah more than victoria 7) What would happen if seven walked in on two and twelve having sex? would be astonished, but not that suprised cuz they r married! 8) Make up a summary of a three/ten fanfic. alice wants to kill victoria on her own(: 9) Is there any thing as one/eight fluff? NO! 10) Suggest a title for a seven/twelve hurt/comfort fic when a wife leaves two 11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted four to de-flower one? have edward be gay? never gonna happen though, never! 12) Does anyone on your friends list read three? idk 13) Does anyone on your friends list draw or write eleven? Yes, I think so. 14) Would anyone on your friends list write two/four/five? NO 15)What might ten scream at a great moment of passion? "YES!" idk... 16)If you wrote a song fic about eight, what song would you use? idk.. idk 17) If you wrote a one/six/twelve fic, what would the warning be? warning: someone will be injured 18) What would be a good pick up line for ten to use on two? no comment "And when we blow ourselves up, I'll be safe in my padded room and warm in my pretty white jacket." "Sigh. You know you're about to have a bad day when you get your chip stuck in your salsa." "Well someone has to stand up for all the dorks out there." "A synonym is just a word you use when you can't spell the first word you thought of" "I don't lie. I fib in big portions." "Perfect men are only fictional." "Sticks and Stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within" q "When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you" "You don't die of a broken heart...you only wish you did" "Friends are Gods way of apologizing to us for our families" Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them more"- ? (This is really true) "Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun."-? (speaking of elfs...shawn!!!) "Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit."- ? Listen to the beaker, it will speak to you," HEY GET BACK HERE WITH THAT STAPLER! SANTA WON'T GET ME A NEW ONE UNTIL CHRISTMAS!" "You know what? Go play in traffic!" Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods... On Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos: On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swann frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children's cough medicine: On Nytol sleep aid: On a Korean kitchen knife: On a string of Christmas lights: On a food processor: On Sainsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a child's Superman costume: 10 Commandments of a Teenager 1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. Things to Do in an Exam you Already Know That You are Going to Fail: 1.Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!" 2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is. 3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level. 4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative. 5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off. 6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min. 7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else. 8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible. 9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you. 10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it. 12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was. 13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly. 15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy). 16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day. 17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away. 18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story. 19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave. 20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. 22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave. 23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary. 25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?" 26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! 27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out. 28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!" 30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her. 31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her. 32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit." 33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..." 35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect. 38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby. 40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour. 41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it. 44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam. 45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras. ONE FOR THE GIRLS! (1) A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman alive." the woman replies, "I'll miss you..." (2)Dear Lord, (3) Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for (4) Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? PLEASE READ. If this doesnt touch you... ,( meanie heartless person! I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' "OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' "My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message. 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart There's a 13 year old girl, and she wished I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been My name is Ann and I am 45 years What a great email it was!! Just scroll down to the end, but Go for it! SCROLL DOWN! STOP! Congratulations! Your wish will Now follow this carefully...it If you repost this within the next 5 min. This is scary! The phone will ring right after you repost. Jesus had no servants, yet they called Him Master... He had no degree, yet they called Him Teacher... He had no medicine, yet they called Him Healer... He had no army, yet kings feared Him... He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world... He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him... He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today. Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us... If you believe in the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit then copy and paste this in your profile. 333 ways to bet kicked outof walmart. thank you, thank you! imade everyone's life so much better. 1. Take someone's shopping cart and switch the items with stuff from the person next to them's cart If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this; because in the Bible, it says that if you deny me, then I shall deny you before my Father in the gates of Heaven NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast. NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG! NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings. NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or I'll tell on you! NORMAL PEOPLE: think that vampires are all like Dracula. NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY! NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms. NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation. NORMAL PEOPLE:dont have this on there profile. He gave her 12 roses, 11 real and one fake, and said, "I'll love you until the last rose dies." If you want child abuse to STOP, copy and paste this into your profile: This story is about a little girl that was abused. If you care about it, copy and paste it to your profile. My name is sarah I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home. When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall. I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry. He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door. He's already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall. I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor. My name is Sarah And I am but three, Tonight my daddy, Murdered me. Try Not To Cry: Johnny brought a gun to school, Mommy, I was a good girl, I did But Mommy, when I went to school that day, When Johnny shot the gun, Mommy, please tell Daddy; And tell my little sister; And tell my wonderful friends; Mommy, tell my teachers; Mommy, why'd it have to be me? And Mommy, tell the doctors; Mommy, I'm slowly dying, Mommy, I ran as fast as I could, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to get married, But Mommy, I'm must go now, I love you Mommy, I always have, --In Memory Of The School Shootings-- Five Resons Why Bella's an Idiot: 1. She jumped off a cliff and didn't die. 2. She didn't kill Jacob for imprinting on Nessie. 3. What regular person uses the word irrevocably? 4. She can't win an argument with Edward unless its about sex. 5. She's a freaking spaz. (Yep) Repost if you agree to at least three statements. One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?" "I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg." In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones. "Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin. "Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones. "God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin. "Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again. The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?" Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!" "Amen," replied the congregation. Friends: Tell you that you look nice. Friends: Say "see you later!" Friends: Forgive you. Friends: Tell you that you're the most annoying thing on earth. Friends: tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house. Friends: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline. Friends: come over every couple of months for a sleepover. Friends: are offended when you make fun of them. Friends: are shy around your boyfriend. Friends: Meet your boy/girl friend and say nice to meet you. "REMEMBER WHEN" REMEMBER WHEN .. Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now!! Girls Need To Realize: WRITTEN BY A GUY! :) We guys don't care if you talk to other guys. Guys repost this if you agree. Every Guy who isn't a jerk will agree with this, A Twilight Survey Which book in the series is your favorite? How long did it take you to read the books? Who introduced you to the books? Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift? Are you most looking forward to: Breaking Dawn, Midnight Sun, or the movie? Favorites: Who's your favorite vampire? Who is your favorite werewolf? What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories? What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment? What was your favorite Bella and Jacob moment? What was your favorite adventure/battle? Which book cover was your favorite? Are these books among your favorite books of all? Things I learned while reading TWILIGHT: 1. You can enjoy the boquet while resisting the wine. 1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public. THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT ME UNTIL YOU READ THIS: What color is your toothbrush? Name one person who made you smile today: What were you doing at 8 am this morning: What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Have you ever been to a strip club? What is your favorite ice cream flavor? What was the last thing you had to drink? Have you bought any new clothing items this week? What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? Do you take vitamins daily? Do you go to church every Sunday? Do you have a tan? Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? Do you drink your soda with a straw? What did your last text message say? What are you doing tomorrow? Look to your left, what do you see? What color is your watch? What do you think of when you hear Hawaii? What is your birthstone? Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? What is your favorite number? Who's the last person you talked to on the phone? Any plans for today? How many states have you lived in? Biggest annoyance right now? Last song listened to? Can you say the alphabet backwards? Do you have a maid service clean your house? Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? Are you jealous of anyone? Is anyone jealous of you? Do you love anyone? Do any of your friends have children?| What do you usually do during the day? Do you hate anyone that you know right now? Do you use the word 'hello' daily? What color is your car? Do you like cats? Are you thinking about someone right now? How did you get your worst scar? Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch some marajiwana Jack got high and dropped his fly and said do you wanna Jill said yes and dropped her dress and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot her pill and then they had a son. Sex is a sensation Kiss on the stomach--"lets have sex" You Know You're a Book Addict If: You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on. Boredm Busters 1. Try not to think about penguins. I messed up of my teenage life... kissed someone before dating Multiply by 3 Total- 66 ╔══╦══╦══╗ you have been Pinned | |||||||
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