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![]() Author has written 17 stories for Sisters Grimm, Fairy Tales, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, and Toy Story. Here I am, the fantastic Edessa! I used to be extremely active here on FF, especially in the Sisters Grimm with my fanfic "Hell Hath No Fury." Then I discovered NaNoWriMo and... got distracted. For two years. (It was worth it, though; I've attempted every single OLL event since November 2010. And I've won quite a few, I'm glad to say.) Now I'm trying to come back, because FanFiction is just too awesome to keep away from. It's probably going to take me a little while to work my way back into the community, but that's okay. Because I'm back! And yay! If you'd like to find a site where I'm a little more active, you can find me on: SOME INFO ABOUT THE FANFICS I'M WORKING ON: 1. Hell Hath No Fury is going to be on hold indefinitely. I had a plot outline that I lost and I need to remember my plan. 2. Ever After has GOT to be finished. As soon as the second chapter stops giving me a headache, it and the third will be up. 3. Ever After will have a sequel called Chained. It will be a Mothtardseed. 4. Chained will possibly have a sequel called Queen or Faerie Queen. 5. I am thinking about a Halloween fanfic inspired by this fanart. 6. I am thinking about a fic about Basil and Red. I WILL NOT READ YOUR STORY IF: 1. Sabrina is the most popular girl in school. 2. Puck is the most popular boy in school. 3. Your summary is "I'm bad at summaries." 4. Your summary is "Summary inside." 5. Your summary apologizes for something. 6. I click on it and see it divided into "blahblah's POV" and "blahblahblah's POV." AND NOW EDESSA'S PROFILE IS DONE. AND NOW EDESSA IS GOING TO RANT. A LOT. I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl people look through when I say something.I am the girl that spends most of her time reading, writing or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call wierd, and a freak, either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girl friend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows how to be proud of who she is, doesn't care if people call her wierd(it's a compliment.), who loves reading and writing and doing things that no one seems to have time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express her self better with words then actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of thew little things. Copy and paste this to your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time they are unique but not alone :
And here is a list of reasons that you are not this girl, and why this girl does not in fact exist. School dances and games cost money. Any girl who cares little enough about them will not pay money to go to them and then just sit in the corner and ignore them, especially because it's next to impossible to read a book in the corner of a dance or game. Have you ever tried? No, because you're not that girl. The only case in which somebody would go to or a dance or game just to read is if they want to show off how above everybody they are that they can sit in a corner and read, which makes them infinitely more shallow than all the other people who went to the dance or game so that they could dance or enjoy the game. If you pay to go to a dance and then don't dance, how on earth is that "stopping and smelling the flowers?" If you are "the girl that spends most of her time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal," then you should really have a better handle on grammar than most other teenagers. You should know that there should be a space between the period and "I" at the beginning of that sentence, and you should know that it should be "girl who" and not "girl that" unless you are in fact a thoughtless object, which wouldn't actually be surprising, considering how completely thoughtless you must have been to copy-paste this stupidity on your profile. Not being asked out in a year doesn't make you a freak. Not being asked out in four years doesn't make you a freak. The only reason you think it makes you a freak is because you share that same exact mentality of people who think they need a guy to complete them. Oh, and you love and are obsessed with Twilight? Okay, everyone has their preferences. Oh, and you don't think you need a guy to complete you? Okay, awesome for you. Oh, but you think you're better than everyone else because you don't need a guy to complete you, and those people who think they need a guy to complete them are stupid and below you, and yet you still love Twillight? The only plot point of that series, the only personality trait of Bella Swan, is that she needs a guy to complete her! Are you really that hypocritical, or did you just not read this thing before your little robot fingers hit copy-paste for you? Of course, if you copy-pasted without reading and you're complaining that "nobody has time [for reading and writing] anymore, then you really are that hypocritical." And you are the girl who "knows the importance of thew little things?" Good, then you should know the importance of a "W" where it doesn't belong. "Copy and paste this to your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time they are unique but not alone." NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. If you are anything like me, in that you are a breathing human being with at least a few ounces of gray matter, DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT copy paste anything ever ever again. If you are different and unique, you deserve a different and unique profile. Erase this disgustingness that you have labeled yourself with. Raise your fingers to the computer keyboard, but avoid those apple-C or ctrl-V shortcuts. I'm serious. You are too smart for that. If you are a different and unique individual, write your own words. A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle Girl: Slow down, I'm scared! Guy: No, this is fun. Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you, now slow down! Guy: Now give me a big hug. She gives him a big hug Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me. In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live. If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste No. No. NO. In what universe is this romantic? I mean, seriously. Are you reading the same thing I'm reading? Because I don't think you are. It seems you need an interlinear translation... Girl: Slow down, I'm scared! Guy: No, this is fun. Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you, now slow down! Guy: Now give me a big hug. She gives him a big hug Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me. In other words, you know what I see in this situation? I see a guy who knows two people are in danger and then uses that danger to manipulate someone. I see a guy who lies to his girlfriend just so that he can get something that he wants from her. I see a guy who cannot trust his girlfriend with the truth. What kind of "romance" is built on lies and deception like that? And what did he do all this for? So that she'd hug him and say she loved him. Seriously, that's his only motivation. And the only way he knows how to get this from her is by lying. What?? I'd hate to think what the rest of their relationship was like, if the only way he could get her to love him was by tricking her. I really don't get it. If I was in the last moments of my life and I needed someone to hug me and say they loved me, you know how I'd ask them? "My brakes aren't working. I'm seriously scared right now. Can you tell me you love me, one last time? And put on my helmet, please, because I am seriously scared." And then everyone would live lovingly ever after. And PS. Nobody crashes into buildings because of "break" failure. People crash into buildings because of steering failure, and they crash into cars (and other unavoidable things on the road) because of brake failure. If this guy steered into a building because his brakes didn't work, he's a moron. He's a moron and a bully, and the only thing he succeeded in doing was traumatizing this girl for the rest of her life. How romantic. I hope he died sliced into a million pieces. By fire. The end. 97% of people would cry if they saw Robert Pattinson (Edward from Twilight) standing on a skyscraper, about to jump. If you're one of the 3% who would sit there, eating popcorn and screaming "DO A BACKFLIP!" then copy and paste this as your status. Just. Where do I begin with this one. I mean... ugh. First of all, the simple fact that the very existence of this copy-paste automatically proves itself false, for two reasons. First, like I said, there's a million different versions with different celebrities but the percentages the same. So Robert Pattinson has 97% popularity, and Justin Bieber has 97% popularity? Even though they're two completely different people who do completely different things? Yeah, these percentages weren't made up at all. Which brings us to the second thing -- there's a million different versions with the same celebrity but different percentages (80% instead of 97% or whatever). Seriously, people. Can't even get your numbers right? No. You can't. You can't because all of those numbers are false and made up by stupid people on the internet who want anyone more popular than them to commit suicide. This is not acceptable research within the community of intelligent human beings. If you want me to copy paste some numbers into my profile, sure. Just as long as they're real numbers! Oh. And let's get back to that suicide thing. You know, that terrible irreversible tragedy that comes about as a result of deep depression that could have been avoided but wasn't and has now as a result torn apart the lives of family and friends and, most importantly, the person who thought their life was just so inescapable? Yeah. THAT'S A BAD THING. If you ever see anyone, anyone, about to commit suicide, the appropriate response is not to grab popcorn and laugh at them. It does not matter how annoyed you are by their existence. This does not justify suicide. If you don't like Robert Pattinson's performance in Twilight, don't watch Twilight. Which brings to yet another point, which is that even if bad people deserved to die by suicide, people like Robert Pattinson are not bad people just because they annoy you. Sure, you don't like Twilight. Sure, you don't like Edward. But I've got a lovely little lesson for you in how the world works: there are these things called "actors." Say it slowly with me now... "ac... tors." What it basically means is that ROBERT PATTINSON AND EDWARD CULLEN ARE NOT THE SAME THING. If Robert Pattinson is Edward Cullen, then he is also Cedric Diggory, and if you believe that Cedric Diggory deserved to die, you have just been officially identified as a Death Eater and I hope you have fun when all the Harry Potter fans come to burn your house down. Because apparently that's okay. Rabid Harry Potter fans are cool. Twilight actors aren't. Guys, seriously. I've never watched the Twilight movie, but I've read the books, and I can assure you that 100% of the problems with Edward and Bella come from them being Edward and Bella. Poor Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart did the best they could with their characters. Not a single actor in the world could have made that romance interesting. Oh, and one last thing. If someone's on top of a skyscraper, they're not going to hear you chanting "jump, jump" anyway. You moron. | |||||||
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