99.5 percent of teenagers and kids have a myspace and are literally addicted, if you are the 0.5 who thinks myspace is a dumb way to make friends, relationships, etc. post this onto your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?” copy this into your profile.

If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

Normal by it's own definition does not exist. If you believe this, copy and paste in your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile!

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have MSN or my space.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. (Not quite yet, I'm too young)

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that annoying Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you like to read people's profiles when you're bored, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever considered going to the dark side since they have cookies, copy this onto your profile.

If you ran up a down escalater copy this into your profile

If you've ever run into a doorway that you clearly could've dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this into your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." copy and paste this into your profile if you didn't even know sexy was gone.

If you are odd, and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy/paste this into your profile.

98 percent of the population would die if Johnny Depp said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy this onto your profile if you would be one of the 2 percent that is laughing your ass off.

If you have ever wondered why someone decided to milk a cow, copy/paste this into your profile

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination, copy and paste here.

If you like/love copying and pasting stuff into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever felt the undenilable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile

If you have a mad fascination with the Japanese culture, copy and past this into your profile.

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile. (If any one of my friends are reading this, they all know I do, because they sing with me. xD)

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever wanted to kill someone (albeit a man in a purple and green dinosaur suit known as 'Barney the Dinosaur', any sound-nin from Naruto, George Bush, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, or any other fool) then realized murder is illegal then copy and paste this into your profile.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.

There are three kinds of people: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who don't know what the heck is happening. (I do all three)

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...

It takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes four to extend my middle finger and tell you to bite me

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy this into your profile.

If you ever forgot your name, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever pushed on a door marked pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy and paste this into your profile. ( my mom has this cray obsession to use the oven as a place to store cakes and i set one on fire when i preheated the oven)

If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile.

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school, he told his friends that it was cool , and when he pulled the trigger back

It shot with a great crack! Mummy I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold

But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye, I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry

When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another, and all because he got the gun from his older brother

Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much, and please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush

And tell my little sister that she is the only one now, and tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best

Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest, mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class, and never to forget this and please don't let this pass

Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this, mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss

And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try, I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry

Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest, but mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest, mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack

Mummy listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new, I guess I'm not going with daddy, on that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress

Mummy I wanted to live, but mummy I must go now the time is getting late

Mummy tell my Chris, I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date , I love you mummy I always have, I know you know it's true

Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you", In memory of the Columbian students that were lost

Please if you would, pass this around, I'd be happy if you could

Don't smash this on the ground, if you pass this on, maybe people will cry

Just keep this in heart, for the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"

Now you have two choices

1) repost and show you care

2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart

(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Naruto (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Neji Hyuga or Itachi Uchiha is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/confessions of love/any other Naruto related thing you can think of about Naruto or the Naruto characters. Crazy is when you can open up Naruto and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny. Crazy is when you stay up all night to write fanfic then wake up early in the morning to do it again, even if you have school. Crazy is when you get hurt and start to laugh non-stop for no reason. Crazy is when you can't fall asleep at night because you're too busy playing a Naruto game, or thinking about Naruto. Crazy is when you wake up at 4:00 in the morning to finish a naruto fanfiction before school starts. Crazy is spending every lunchtime in a cramped classroom playing a naruto video game with your insane friends. Crazy is coming up with naruto nicknames for you and your friends and dressing up as them on normal school days. Crazy is when you start talking about Naruto yaoi fanfics in front of your ever so disturbed law teacher. Crazy is when you think about ItaSasu before you sleep and end up dreaming about something completely different. Crazy is realising you've done one or more things on this list. Crazy is having a dream where you almost get killed twice and its still super funny! Crazy is when you perform different 'positions' in front of a crowd, showing which way is better, and laugh when they look at you, confused and blushing. Crazy is when you tell your friend a yaoi joke and end up laughing like a lunatic when they ask you what is yaoi. Crazy is when you should be going to sleep, but you're too busy staying up reading/writing yaoi Naruto fanfics. Crazy is wondering when a Naruto character is going to come and get you because Sasuke has a bird raping his head, because the bird thought that his duck-butt hair was the love of his life, and he needs your help. Crazy is randomly yelling out, "SHIFTY NINJA EYES!" in the classroom when everyone's quiet. Crazy is yelling out, "SHARINGAN!" in the middle of class and lunch and then doing hand signs for Multiple Shadow Clone Technique.Crazy is when you start saying random things in a different language every other sentance at random. Crazy is when you write "What's up mothafckas" in Japanese on your rocket for science class.

If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3) Insist that your e mail address is:
Xena-Warrior Princess@companyname.com
or Elvis-the-King@companyname.com.

4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

6) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN'.

7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

9) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.'

10) Reply to everything someone says with,'That's what you think.'

11) Finish all your sentences with:'In accordance with the prophecy.'

12) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.

13) dont use any punctuation

14) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

15) Ask people what sex they are and laugh hysterically after they answer.

16) Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go.'

17) Sing along at the opera.

18) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

19) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.)

20) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, 'If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in Stall #3.

21) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

22) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

23) Call 999 and ask if 999 is for emergencies.(don't do this!)

24) Call the physic hot line and don't say anything.

25) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

26) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, 'I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!'

27) When leaving the zoo,start running towards the parking lot, yelling, 'Run for your lives,they're loose!'

28) Tell your boss, 'It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do.'

29) Tell your children over dinner.'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.

30) Every time you see a broom, yell 'Honey, your mother is here!'

31)Run down the street in the middle of the day and yell "For Narnia! And for Aslan!!"

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

FAKE VS. REAL

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food/Opens the fridge and makes themselves at home

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.(In M'sia we say Auntie or Uncle)

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we really messed up … but that sure was fun!”/"Holy Crap..-looks at you-that was fun!"

FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you or had the best shoulder to cry on

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what’s wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FRIENDS: picks you up when you fall
Best Friend: laughs at you and trips you again

FRIENDS: asks you to write down your number.
Best friend: they ask you for their number (cuz they can't remember it)

FRIENDS: when someone makes fun of you, does nothing
Best friend: kicks their ass for even looking at you the wrong way

FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

(I found this really cool if you can read it pasted in your profile please)

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile.

This is this cat. This is is cat. This is how cat. This is to cat. This is keep cat. This is a cat. This is dumbass cat. This is busy cat. This is for cat. This is forty cat. This is seconds cat. Now go back and read the third word in each sentence from the top. Pass it on.

God created man before woman because every masterpiece needs a rough draft.

MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!

I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster.

To catch me you got to be fast, to find me you got to be smart, but to be me? Damn you must be kidding...

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head.

ONLY IN AMERICA...

...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance

...are there handicap parking spaces in front of ice-skating rinks

...sick people go to the back of Walgreens to get their medicine, while healthy people get their cigarettes at the front

...people buy hotdogs in packs of 10 and hotdog buns in packs of 8

...the banks leave both vaults open and then chain the pens to the counter

...people order a double cheese burger, large fries, and a diet coke

...people leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveways and keep their junk in garages

...people use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss the calls from someone they don't want to talk to in the first place

...is the word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" mean "blood-sucking creatures

Have you ever considered suing your brain for non-support?

Who was so mean to put an "s" in the word "lisp" if people with lisps can't say the "s"?

Doctors say TV is bad for us, but why is there a TV in every hospital room?

If McDonald's loves to see you smile why do they screw up your order?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If con is the opposite of pro is Congress the opposite of progress?

Donald Duck never wears pants, but why does he wraps a towel around his waist when he gets out of the shower?

10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL

10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks

9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies

8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly

7. Our magazines have horiscopes

6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around

5. Our friends don't say "hi" but punching us in the arm

4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month

3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have

2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket

1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing

WHAT CELEBRITIES MIGHT SAY WHEN ASKED: "WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?"

"Why would he be on a road? I thought chickens lived in the ocean..." -Jessica Simpson

"That (censor) fool of a chicken didn't (censor) know what the (censor) he was doin' crossin' a (censor) alley in (censor) Harlem at 1:00 in the (censor) morning" -Snoop Dogg

"To cross or not to cross, that is the question" -Shakespeare

"I agree that the chicken should cross the road, but I believe he should not get to the other side" -John Kerry

"Chickens, over a great period of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads" -Charles Darwin

"And God came down from the heavens and He said unto the chicken 'Thou shall cross the road'. And the chicken did, and there was much rejoicing" -Moses

"To go where no chicken has gone before" -Neil Armstrong

"We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. Its either with us or against us, there's no middle ground here" -George W. Bush

"Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes the chicken crossed the road. But why it crossed, I've not been told" -Dr. Seuss

"In my day, we didn't as why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us the chicken crossed the road and that was good enough for us" -Grandpa

"Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask 'What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyways?'" -Jerry Seinfeld

"The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road" -Richard Nixon

"This was an unprevoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it" -Saddam Hussein

"I missed one?" -Colonel Sanders

"Sometimes I creep myself out." -Sticker

"I'm so tired of people saying I have anger issues, if you do, I'll slit your throat!" -Shirt.

"Don't piss me off, i'm running out of places to hide the bodies." -Sticker

"I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick." -Sticker

"Hooked on Fonix dun good four mee." -Shirt

"Silence is golden, ductape is silver." -Shirt

"I like to watch people trip." -Happy Bunny

"If life gives you lemons, squirt juice in your enemy's eyes'." -Happy Bunny

"Can't sleep... Clowns will eat me." -Shirt

"I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay." -Shirt

"You shouldn't let you mind wonder. It's much to small to be out on it's own." -Shirt

"You're not the brightest crayon in the box - are you?" - shirt

"If there is life on other planets, they must be using Earth as thier insane asylum." -Unknown.

"And on the eigth day, God created fangirls... shortly thereafter, he said unto Adam... "My bad."" -Unknown.y stories!