The man to your left (my right; assuming 'I' is the screen you're looking at) is not me.
For one, I am not a man. I also do not possess a gun (which you can't see on the picture, but he does have it... somwhere). My eyes aren't blue. My hair doesn't look like that, either. I'd love to have hair like that. I mean, it's so long, and beautiful, and pretty, and long, and long... -swoons-
And his psycho expression -shudders happily- just wow.

I am CriminallyInsane.
Not really.
I do not live in a mental hospital, not as far as I know, at least, and I rather hope that I do not belong there. I did not kill my family, and do not plan to. As a matter of fact, I never killed anything. Although I did have several urges to do so, more than once in my life.
The website that is my username does not really exist, either. Not yet, at least. Please inform me if that changes.
You can also call me Ame, Uchiha_on_Crack, or FlamingHobo.

Here's a short brief on what you're up against.
In a nutshell, I'm an overworked teenager who gets bored really easily, is incredibly patriotic and taken by her beliefs, owns a cheap pair of glasses, is a social outcast, has trouble meeting deadlines, is lazy as fuck, loves watching her little brother playing FPS games, has a twisted sense of humor, and deludes herself into believing that not only is she a fabulous writer and artist, but also that she is borderline sane. Which she most probably isn't.

I don't like being bored, that guy who wants to burn the Koran, bad internet connection, being wrong, being fucked with (which is not that same thing as physically being fucked), President Truman, ketchup, homework, Pokemon, sour milk, mayonnaise, the Hiroshima-Nagasaki-nuke'd incident, bad movies, missing typewriter/keyboard buttons (especially n), people saying the Holocaust was a lie, anything to do with Miley Cyrus, pens running out of ink, Hitler, people I don't know who dislike me for no reason, Twilight, being called a Nazi/Muslim Terrorist, people who just don't get it, crying, and losing things.

I like normal milk, when things make sense, watermelons, South Park, chopsticks, awesome accents, stupid things that make me laugh, metal/rock (music-wise, that is), Salad Fingers, love/hate pairings, various video/PC games, bright blue, CrackFics, twisted things, conspiracies, origami, and psychologically analyzing people/characters.

My favorite authors are Stephen King and Darren Shan. To be more specific, my favorite books include: Shutter Island, Under The Dome, The Demonata, Misery, The Green Mile, Saga of Darren Shan, The City triology, Of Mice and Men, Just After Sunset, Harry Potter, Everything's Eventual, and great lot of other stuff which I cannot remember right now.

I like the bands KoЯn, Thousand Foot Krutch, Linkin Park, Disturbed, Rammstein, Three Days Grace, Blood on the Dance Floor (BOTDF), Papa Roach, Breaking Benjamin, Mindless Self Indulgence (MSI), and Slipknot.

My favorite games include BioShock (1&2), Prototype, Assassin's Creed (1&2), Pinball, Alice is Dead, Supreme Commander, Warcraft III, Overlord, Fallout3, and The Unfair Platformer.

I like movies such as Shutter Island, Secret Window, Sherlock Holmes, The Hangover, Sweeney Todd, I'm Not There, Eagle Eye, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Forrest Gump.

Currently, I have the song 'Hypocrites' by KoЯn stuck in my head.

"Pay the ferryman, pay the fucking driver!
Pay the preachers and pay the fucking liars!
Pay the bitches they're touching on they're dates, stand by-
I'm not gonna pay it's already mine."

With this song, it's less the words and more the awesome music that I like.
But I don't think you care, anyways.

Quotes I rather like:

"C'mon Mr. B. Don't make me carry you!"
"Would you kindly...?"
"Nice work, boyo...!"
"You're not a moth - you're an angel...!"
"So say goodbye to Fontaine..." -accent changes- "...And hello to Atlas!"

Random anecdote you didn't want to know about me and don't really care about:

Once upon a time, I was sitting on a grassy-fieldy area with my extended family, having some sort of picnic for my uncle's birthday. I hate that uncle, by the way, I truly do. I have another one, from my dad's side, who I like, but this one (mom's side), I hate. A lot.
Anyways, back to the story. We were having a picnic. It was late summer, and thankfully, not completely stifling hot. But there were loads of wasps around because there seemed to be a nest somewhere in the tree above us.
So I was sitting there, bored out of my mind, when I suddenly notice that one of the many wine-bottles (my god, looking back on it, they must've been so drunk...) wasn't quite empty. Thus, being the (not so) rebellious little girl I am, I stole my mom's glass and poured the remaining liquid into it. And guess what I see?
Well, for one, I see that there wasn't as much wine as I hoped.
I also see a wasp in there.
And it was drunk. Fucking drunk.
As in, it was swaying, and curled onto it's back, and it looked like it was laughing. No, really, it did. It was all: LULZ INNA HOTTUB! :D
And that was the day I learned that insects can get wasted, too.

FIN

And this is the part where you laugh.

...Why aren't you laughing?!

LAUGH, GODDAMMIT!!! -rageface-

Screw you guys. I'm going home.

-stomps off in a huff-