![]() Author has written 8 stories for Anime X-overs, Hellsing, Inuyasha, Fullmetal Alchemist, Detective Conan/Case Closed, Bleach, and Yu Yu Hakusho. hi. i'm alicia. that's pretty much it... oh, besides the fact that i have a ridiculusly huge imagination and i've officially been writing fanfics since i was fourteen, though there's no way in hades that i'm ever gonna let you guys see my early works... my first few stories were written in all caps, and none of them are very good. by the way, rai the kitsune is my male persona. he's a gold kitsune with blue eyes and vampire traits. he is the star OC for my creator series. " face="tahoma" size="5" color="#00AAFF"Don't click here! Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Novemberscorpion110388, Pinksakurablossom, Angelgirl18647, Winter Gallowsraven, Echizen Ryoma-san, Zaara the black, HitogoroshinoKirohito, Synica, rosie isis. Things I Hate About Everyone 1 People who point at their wrist while asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my butt when I ask where the toilet is? 2People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.. 3When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. You're darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 4When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? 5When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?’ No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the stupid floor. 6People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 7When something is 'new and improved!’ Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, c couldn’t be new. 8When people say 'life is short'. What the heck?? Life is the longest freaking thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer? 9When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'has the bus come yet?’ If the bus came would I be standing here dummy? If you think Orochimaru is what you get when Michael Jackson and Voldemort have unprotected sex, C&P this into your profile. If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile. If your family wonders how you can remember all the naruto character's names, copy and paste this into your profile. I AM THE GIRL I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, Twitter, Facebook because i just don't see the appeal. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment),who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one else seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Harry Potter, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her (yet it would be nice) and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: HarryArtemis1220, edwardcullenissosexy, Pixel Alice, ME LOVEY JAZZY, Gandalf the Grey-Edelwiess, DoYouReallySeeMe, Potter's Angels, CelticHeiressFiona, The Love Dragon, I-am-a-slash-addict, One-Who-Loves-Sesshy, sakurademonalchemist, Rosie Isis and Rai the kitsune, FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and and make freinds on here we can be from completely different countries? WTF!? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England), ChiyoChiyamamoto (USA), Crazy-Monkey13 (USA), Hullop (USA), Mayonaka Naze (Dominican Republic), RUHLSAR000 (USA) PotterAnimeJackson(Canada), Mermaid-Luchia(Australia), Jostanos (USA), TheBlackSeaReaper (Bermuda), sakurademonalchemist (USA), lokinorsedeity (USA), Rosie Isis and Rai the kitsune (USA) i saw this on stabbythings' profile and thought i'd post my favorites on my own. Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts: 3) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class 5) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda 6) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar 7) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy 8) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month" 9) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals 12) When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Batmoblie, Robin!" 14) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor 17) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book. 18) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!" 19) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bamf!" everytime I apparate. 21) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice. 22) I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand. 23) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs. 25) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort. 26) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera. 27) I will not refer to the Accio charm as "the Force". 28) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays. 29) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library. 30) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas. 32.)House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers. 33.) Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever moneymaking concept. 36.)I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snapes private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing. 37.) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it. 38.)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice. 39.) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro. 41.)The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid. 43.)When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts. 44.)Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either. 45.)A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly. 49.)Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny. 51.)Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists. 53.) I must not substitute chocolate-flavored laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate. 54.)Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy. 55.)I am not the wicked witch of the west. 56.) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either. 57.) I will not melt if water is poured over me. 58.) -Neither will Professor Umbridge. 60.)I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose. 61.) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover. 62.) I will not test my Potions assigments by spiking Snape's drink with them. 63.) - Especially not all of them at once. 66.)Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'. 68.)When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'. 69.)Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'. 70.)The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters. 71.)I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort. 72.)Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of muggle firearms. 73.)Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either. 74.)I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins. 75.)I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes. 76.)I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing. 78.)I will not create a betting pool on that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father. 79.)Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka. 80.)Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles. 81.) I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter. 82.)Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin". 83.)I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape. 84.). - However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it. 87.)I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either. 88.)I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron. 90.)It's not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says All the good looking ones die young with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it. 92.)I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad bad nightmare about Harry 93.)I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall 94.) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work." 95.) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot. 96.) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it. 97.) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive. 98.) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast. 100.) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling. 101.)I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways. 102.) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween. 104.) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions. 105.) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet. 106.) I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.” 108.) I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”. 113.) Bringing fortune cookies to divination class does not count for extra credit. 114.) I will not douse Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible while wearing it and standing by the fire in the common room. 115.) I will not tell first years they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow. 116.) I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks. 117.) I will not give Gryffindors pixie sticks. 118.) I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles. 120.) I shall not refer to DADA professors as canaries in a coal mine. 121.) When fighting deatheaters in the annual June good vs. evil fight I will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can only be ONE”. 122.) A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or playing drums no matter how bored I become. 123.) It is generally accepted that cats and dragons can not interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the results would be. 125.) I am allowed to have a cat, rat, toad, or an owl. I am not allowed to have reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha. 126.) No matter how good an Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class. 127.) I will not refer to the Defense against the Dark arts professor as Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak. quotes that make me laugh: "Why in the name of Circes' frilly pink grannypants am I naked?" Harry Potter; PokePotter chapter 2 "Siri, please tell me that he didn't buy us any peacocks," Logan paused for a moment. He was probably going to regret this, but... "You know… I just so happen to have a truck-" "The joys of magic," he proclaimed, "Tremble at my Advil-like powers." Harry Potter; Hobo’s Lullaby chapter 7 "OH WOA IS ME!" Harry grinned in a way that was supposed to be menacing and terrifyingly diabolical, but only ended up making him look like an angry squirrel. Nagini suddenly felt hungry. IANAT Interludes chapter 7 the entire chapter IANAT Interludes chapter 16 "Hermione! Well merry Christmas to you too!" he shouted getting up from his chair to give one of his best mates a boisterous hug. "Omf..., Harry you're going to squeeze the life out of me." "I don't care I've missed you do you have any idea how hard it is to function without my brain?" Harry Potter and Hermione Weasley; Deathly Hallows, Death Notes, Saviors, and Sleuths chapter 4 "Wha- you, but how-?" the Count spluttered, trying to form a coherent thought that wasn't 'Oh my God, it's Leon!' Count D; AngelPuss chapter 3 "We've lost a child version of the greatest evil in the world!" Link; Child and Trouble chapter 2 "If you say it, I swear I'll punch you so hard, your past selves will feel it." Zelda; Child and Trouble chapter 2 I’m in the middle of nowhere, with a killer truck on my ass and an annoying Reaper pointing it out! Dean Winchester; (Don't Fear) the Reaper chapter 3, aff . net In the impossible event that pigs can fly, Nnoitra's not a drag queen, Szayel can actually sing and Ulquiorra and me getting together, I ain't gonna be the fucking girl of the relationship. No, never, Aizen damn it just no. Grimmjow; The Espada Guide to Parenting chapter 2 Bad. Very, very bad. Bad a la shite we argh awl goingz tu dai. Grimmjow; The Espada Guide to Parenting chapter 2 "Let's call him Nachos." The look that he gave me was so fucking funny that I laughed hysterically. Grimmjow; The Espada Guide to Parenting chapter 2 "Whatever." Then I grinned. "Let's call him Kid." "No. Ophelius?" "What the shit, Ulqui. Rocky?" "Xeno?" "Princess?" "You must be drunk." "I don't want to name my kid 'You Must Be Drunk'." "Shut up, Grimmjow. Watari?" "Sounds like an old man. Eff?" "... Tell me that was the word 'eff' and not an effing name suggestion." "Then I'm telling you nothing." Grimmjow and Ulquiorra; The Espada Guide to Parenting chapter 2 "I can always give him a nickname!" I protested, shrugging. "Remember, Daddy?" Ulqui looked like he wanted to smack me upside the head. "Daddy. Daddy. Dad dad dad -" SMACK That answers a lot, doesn't it? Grimmjow and Ulquiorra; The Espada Guide to Parenting chapter 2 Okay, note to self, keep Gin away from your kid at all times. "What the shit, Gin! Shut the hell up! You go any further, I'mma bust a cap off your ass!" Grimmjow; The Espada Guide to Parenting chapter 2 "Well, 'sexual tension' is when two guys, like your Mom and Dad, isn't getting any -" WHAM And it was then when Ulqui and I both unanimosly called on for a truce for the moment, until we finished handing Gin's ass to him three times over. Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, and Gin Ichimaru; The Espada Guide to Parenting chapter 2 There were some questions in life that had answers eluding both the great and the plain stupid. The meaning of life, for instance, or why there was one strand of hair always stubbornly hanging out in front of Aizen's face no matter how much he shoved it back. They generally call these 'fucking mysteries'. The lump of Hel curled up on my bed and messing up the sheets? It's one of these so-called 'fucking mysteries'. Grimmjow; The Espada Guide to Parenting chapter 3 "You should stop that." "What?" "Those swear words." He glared at me pointedly. "If Helios comes up to me and says 'I'mma bust a cap off yo ass, bitch', I will not hesitate to wash your mouth out with detergent, leave it to dry out in the sands and wash it again, this time using bleach." I only stared. Seriously, when Ulquiorra says it, even the lamest threats can actually seem threatening. That, and the fact that Ulquiorra saying 'bust a cap off yer ass' was the equivalent of a grandma saying 'yo wassup me homies'. Grimmjow and Ulquiorra; The Espada Guide to Parenting chapter 3 I back off slightly, before looking at Hel, frowning. "He's got a name, his stuffed toy, two parents - I can't really think of anything else." "You don't think," Ulquiorra agreed without any reservations, dodging the punch I threw. "The bare necessities - clothes?" "Clothes," I repeated flatly, looking at Hel, and back at Ulquiorra. Cue the pure evil grin. Grimmjow and Ulquiorra; The Espada Guide to Parenting chapter 3 "But it's a nice gig-thing!" Gin said as brightly as he could. The shine blinded me for a moment, and so did his vocabulary. Gig-thing. Oh my god. Even Yammy wasn't that... Okay, well, he was, but Gin was Gin. Gin Ichimaru; The Espada Guide to Parenting chapter 3 maybe it's an inherent ability in every kid out there to completely ignore it. Hel increased his whining. Ulquiorra, on the other hand, gave me a freezing, silent look of 'diebitchdie'. Grimmjow; The Espada Guide to Parenting chapter 3 So. Anyway. Department store? It was Hell. (No pun intended.) Grimmjow; The Espada Guide to Parenting chapter 3 How would you like it if I watched you sleep?" Ulquiorra stared, face impassive. "That is improbable. There is only a five percent chance you will stumble into my room as I'm sleeping and a one percent chance that you will actually sit down and watch me sleep." "Again with the percentage crap! I thought we were over that!" I said, throwing up my hands in the air. There was this one point in time, long ago, that Ulquiorra had this annoying habit of stating everything by percentages. All to annoy me. He picked it up from some character in a manga. Point is, eventually even Aizen personally asked me to ask Ulquiorra to shut up, and I had NO CHOICE. I repeat, NO CHOICE, but to, er, say 'please'. Grimmjow and Ulquiorra; The Espada Guide to Parenting chapter 3 "Ohemg!" I think that was supposed to be some variation of 'Oh My God', but then again, maybe the poor girl's having a seizure. Can't be too sure; I can't recognize the difference between Fangirling and Hyperventilating Fish Out Water. It was like a competition to see who could perfect the artform of Being Retard. "Is this your kid? Omheg! Omemehg!" ... Omemewhat the fuckery? Grimmjow; The Espada Guide to Parenting chapter 3 "Yes?" I said uncertainly, and they screamed in - hell, I don't know, why don't you come over here and tell me if they're screaming over pain or fangirling. Shit, this is fucking terrifying me. Grimmjow; The Espada Guide to Parenting chapter 3 "Daddy!" Hel squealed, and they 'D'Awwww'ed in succession, each, before Hel patted at Ulqui's head. Then he pointed at me. Shit no! "Shit no!" "Mommy!" he chirped, before repeating the actions and saying 'I love youu' every few seconds. The girls stared. Ulqui and I stared back. Grimmjow and OC (Helios); The Espada Guide to Parenting chapter 3 Human World Theory of Crazy has Gone Up A Notch; But Not Necessarily Bad Crazy. Grimmjow; The Espada Guide to Parenting chapter 3 "God Dammit Link! This is why only villains gloat!" Vaati; Legend of Zelda: Gender Bender chapter 8 I'm a demon lord, not a miracle worker! Kyuubi no Kitsune: The Kyuubi brothers chapter 18 "Did you just slap me with a fish?" Light Yagami: Duck Note chapter 3 Harry trotted out of the den cautiously, looking around the brightly lit world revealed to him... ...and promptly decided that he was nocturnal when the light tried to gouge his eyes out. Harry Potter:Hi'i Palulukan chapter 1 Individuals can be intelligent, reasonable, and insightful, but people as a group are idiotic, gullible, panicky creatures that should be kept away from pointy objects. Severus Snape: Tears of a Basilisk chapter 15 "Society is an ass, don't follow it." Suiyaku(Severus Snape): Deliberately forgotten chapter 2 "One of these days I'm going to nail that damn cape of his to the floor…" Commissioner Gordon: Two's a Crowd: The Beginning chapter 16 "All in favor of dumping Booze at an AA meeting when this is over with?" Everyone's hand went up. "Alright, after the job is done, someone grab her and drag her to a meeting," Prank (Harry Potter): Two's a Crowd: The Beginning chapter 19 "Fuck the law; I have money" Draco Malfoy: a pokemon Adventure! chapter 1 "Ha! I got one! Birdies of doom, fear your superior!" Draco Malfoy (after AKing a morning song bird): 482 Lessons in Child Care chapter 1 "You know, you're acting like five year old." "Am not!" "Are too!" "Am not, you – you – you poophead!" "I rest my case" Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy: 482 Lessons in Child Care chapter 4 "Your mirror is scaring me!" Harry Potter: 482 Lessons in Child Care chapter 13 "It's the accent. I hear it and want to shoot in that general direction." Dean Winchester: Owned chapter 4 "Why am I beating you with naked women?" Harry Potter: Owned chapter 5 (pissed off harry is funny.) "Great Merlin! Look! Dean's shivering! Let's go before he freezes his bollocks off!" Harry Potter: Owned chapter 6 (you gotta love distraction tactics!) "Oh, we are so past 'trouble' and into 'completely fucked'." Harry Potter: Owned chapter 6 "She's got you on a leash, Sasquatch!" Gabriel: Owned chapter 6 "Never you mind just yet. Now, I've been scurrying about, trying to get back into my old homes and find some contacts. And what do I find?" Crowley's voice turned cold and sarcastic. "They've burned them down! Hell, they ate my tailor!" Crowley: Owned chapter 7 "I swear one of these days, I'm gonna learn to fucking knock." Dean Winchester: Owned chapter 7 "Are you serious?" "Completely. Torture, blood… that I can handle. So help me, if you sneeze in my general direction, I will run screaming like a pansy." Dean Winchester and Harry Potter: Owned chapter 8 Dean sat, hundreds of questions bouncing around in his head. Why wasn't he dead yet? How far could he get if he decided to run, before Death took his life? Why did that pizza have to smell so damn good, at a time like this? Owned chapter 8 "Have you heard the phrase about throwing stones in glass houses yet, Cas?" "No." "I'll explain it to you in the car." Dean Winchester and Castiel: Owned chapter 8 "Lils, you mean more likely walrus-in-law." Sirius Black: A serpent and the Chamber of Secrets chapter 1 "I'm quite fine being what I am Harry, I don't get old or ugly, and imagine all the pranks I can pull now that I can phase through walls…nobody is safe from Padfoot anymore!" Sirius Black: Xmen and the Master of Death chapter 1 "Uncle Harry!" "Teddy what's wrong?" "Uncle Siri swallowed his polygum!" Harry Potter and Teddy Lupin: Xmen and the Master of Death chapter 5 "Did I just admonish the evil doll?" Dean Winchester: A Ghost of a Chance chapter 1 "Look, it's Voldemort in a hairnet!" Harry Potter: Rebellion chapter 35 Like ducks in a row his three least favourite things in the world were lining up - if only he had the accompanying air-rifle. Chasing the Dragon, chapter 4 would having sex with a vampire count as necrophillia? i don't know but i bet he'd give good hickies. Rosie and her dad Joy to the world, the 3000 year old was stuck in suburbia. Of Wizards and Yami's, chapter 3 "Holy Merlin in a hat box," Harry Potter: Courting Letters chapter 14 He'd only gone to two classes and already he felt ill prepared for reality, the muscles in his neck were taut with tension, and three fat guys were doing an enthusiastic Mexican Hat Dance in his head. A Change In Perspective chapter 21 (Do I want to know?) (I really like the curve of his cheek.) (STOP IT! The cheek on his face you ass hat!) A Change In Perspective chapter 21 "Don't mind him." he said, leaning around Harry to look at Lucius. "He likes the live ones...and the pretty ones...and the rich ones... Boy, you're just screwed!" Jacob: Curse of Fate, chapter 10 'Puppy's a snake boy!' she hissed happily. 'The Fox will be so jealous his Nellie got a snake boy as her puppy!' Nellie the blue racer snake: Curse of Fate, chapter 11 'Nellie's got her puppy and puppy's got his Nellie and the sun is shining and Nellie is happy...' 'Nellie,' Harry hissed at her in annoyance. Oblivious, she sang on. 'Because the sun is high and Nellie is safe and the scary girl is gone so Nellie is happy again...' 'Nellie,' he tried again. 'And Nellie wants a froggy or maybe a little bunny because she is hungry and-' 'Nellie, don't make me incinerate you!' Harry finally hissed loudly in anger. The singing abruptly stopped. 'Puppy's a pyromaniac.' His head hit the table with a dull thud. Harry Potter and Nellie the blue racer snake: Curse of Fate, chapter 14 Harry raised his head and thumped it back down on the table hard. 'Puppy's a masochist,' a happy voice chirped from around his neck. Harry looked at her in disbelief. 'Where are you learning these words?' Harry Potter and Nellie the blue racer snake: Curse of Fate, chapter 14 "Hey, Rody," he asked his brother with a grin. "How many Death Eaters can you fit into a phone box?" Curse of Fate, chapter 14 Only a Dark Mark drawn on the wall currently bore witness to the disturbing scene. It's cheerful eyes winked, it's serpent tongue stuck out in a permanent raspberry. Many would say, it was the most terrifying rendition of the Mark they had ever seen. Sirius just thought it was cute. Curse of Fate, chapter 15 Lucius sputtered inelegantly for a few seconds before shouting out the door, "Narcissa!" As his wife bustled into the shop, he pointed an accusing finger at Ollivander. "He's doing it again." Lucius Malfoy: Curse of Fate, chapter 17 This went on for quite some time, the arguing couple seemingly oblivious to the world around them. The others watched the ping-pong shouting match with rapt attention. Draco smirked. "I do this on purpose, you know. It gets me great blackmail material." Draco Malfoy and parents: Curse of Fate, chapter 17 the entire apothocary scene Curse of Fate, chapter 18 'What is that human screeching about?' Nellie asked after coming awake with a start. 'Oh, he's probably just discovered the paper mache head of Voldemort I left in his bed,' Harry responded with a maniacal laugh Nellie and Harry: Curse of Fate, chapter 18 'When do you humans, or vampires or whatever, become sexually mature?' she asked almost innocently. Harry looked at the snake curled up on his favorite divan warily. 'Why do you want to know that?' 'Well,' she replied with a distasteful hiss, 'Nellie doesn't want to be in the same room when her puppy finally jumps him.' Mad laughter was her answer. Nellie and Harry: Curse of Fate, chapter 18 "Merlin! That house elf has more mood swings then a pregnant person!" Sirius Black: Harry's Surpise chapter 9 Deadly hairballs flew about the chamber. The Fox Who Lived chapter 48 "Shimatta, if I die I might as well die with a full stomach." Genkai: The Fox Who Lived chapter 50 It was like Hogwarts had dredged the depths of the Pool of Morons and come up with a bunch of talking algae. Harveste Addams and the Chamber of Secrets Pugsley met Harry's eyes over their sister's dark head and grinned. France was fucked. Harveste Addams and the Prisoner of Azkaban chapter 1 His Confusing Concoction had been a tad strong though; testing it in the Potions classroom had Professor Snape stumbling around for five minutes, swearing to all the desks that he was the Pink Cockroach of Guatemala. Harveste Addams and the Prisoner of Azkaban chapter 2 Ah, young love. Better than a kick in the nuts. Harveste Addams and the Goblet of Fire chapter 5 This was deep, this was old, and he knew it, as surely as he knew he'd just torn a man's arm off and beaten him senseless with the soggy end. Harveste Addams and the Goblet of Fire chapter 5 And here was Rosier now, the patient pet, the steady pet, the faithful pet, now the armless pet, because Harry had grabbed his silver arm and yanked at it with all his Power and smacked him across the face with it. Harveste Addams and the Goblet of Fire chapter 5 Somewhere Fate smiled and Karma smirked in Destiny's direction. Luck chapter 1 'Tenten, weapons master vs. Inari, Kitchen knife ninja!' Never Cut Twice chapter 4 "Your sword just groped me!" Temari: Never Cut Twice chapter 10 He was fairly certain that the only reason he always seemed to bottom was because Lucifer clearly had God's staff lodged firmly up his arse. Creep chapter 4 Harry muttered kicking at the only stone in the entire field. Lucifer briefly wondered where the hell, and how, Harry found the damned thing. Though he had quickly come to learn that the laws of logic didn't apply to Harry (or small children) when they got it into their head to irritate the ever loving hell out of whoever they were with. Creep chapter 5 He also came to another conclusion not long after. Two conclusions actually. One, he should never have introduced Harry to Fantasy and Sci Fi literature and two, he hated Good Omens and wished he hadn't planted the idea of a demon called Crowley into Pratchett and Gaiman's heads. He was never going to tell Harry that. Let's Party 'til the World Ends prologue "One of these days, he's going to forget to travel through the shadow and just smack into the wall," Crowley: Let's Party 'til the World Ends chapter 2 "Was he supporting Slytherin?" Neville asked curiously but Minerva said. "He was wearing a mixture of red and green." "Like a Christmas decoration gone wrong," Snape muttered sourly. Hogwarts reads the Chamber of Secrets chapter 11 He didn't know what the animal was but it made Fluffy look like a Chihuahua Sealed Soul, chapter 1 "He's in the back of his head?" Sirius asked. "We just went from creepy to rapist." When You Read, chapter 18 "Oh gross," Tonks said. "I don't even want to know how he knows what earwax tastes like." "When you have siblings you discover a lot of tastes you didn't need to taste," Ron said. "Mum, forget I ever whined about being an only child," Tonks said. When You Read, chapter 18 "BUT I'M ONLY YOUR PERVERT" Bakura: Wizards and Duel Monsters, chapter 2 Of course there was a giant fox in his afterlife. All he needed to do now was sprout fucking rabbit ears and this fucked up metaphor would be perfect. Auryn, chapter 1 "A giant fox with a buttload of tails? What is this, a Sonic game?" Auryn, chapter 1 "Will you knock it off and let me answer or are you going to keep swiping at me like a cat having a seizure?" Auryn, chapter 1 "God-damn, man, when was the last time you used a toothbrush or even a breath mint? Is that how you plan on taking over the Wizarding World, by threatening to breathe on them?" Harry Potter and the Wrath of Jashin, April Fool's Day one-shot "Heathen! You stole my genius!" L, Death's Servant, chapter 7 His biggest advancement he had made was when he was using his Sharingan and found that he couldn't see through Naruto's Henge. Upon further study, which consisted of poking Naruto with a stick a couple of times dumbfounded, Harry discovered that instead of using an illusion Naruto actually DID change into whatever form he wanted. He had quickly copied that off of Naruto and gotten him to explain how it worked. Testing it out, Harry had managed to get into the Hyūuga compound disguised as Hiashi who was the current clan head. He then made a show of tearing off his clothes running through the place naked and into an ice cream shop screaming at the top of his lungs before jumping into a vat of rocky road and using Shunshin to escape. The Hyūugas were still trying to explain that one to the village. Sharingan Harry Book Two: Dueling Serpents, chapter 1 From what Harry had gathered from the upper classmen McGonagall hadn't altered her speech in years; the popular theory was that she had gotten the speech from her predecessor, who in turn had gotten it from his, so on and so forth, all the way back to the first year Hogwarts had been opened and professors had sought to frighten their students into behaving. Seamus was convinced the passing down of the speech involved a grand ritual with candles and chanting. Harry Potter and the Lord of Sevii, Chapter 15 "Honestly Erik, what the hell is wrong with you? I know the Convergence is coming, but that's no excuse to take laps around the insanity pool!" Loki, Tricksters and Gods, chapter 18 Never underestimate the devious minds of children, for they are monsters who have not yet grown the fangs and muscles they need to defend themselves with, and have still managed to survive. Quirks, chapter 6 Of course, being the aspect of Curiosity, she just had to poke it with a stick. Fate's Gamble: Round Two, chapter 8 Bored Hari away from the village for an undisclosed amount of time? Who do you want to sacrifice to Jashin and when? Broken Shadows, chapter 19 "What happened?" "Kurosaki knocked out the troll." "I had to! It ate my potions homework" Haru exclaimed. ~My Father Isshin chapter 4 Quoth is wise, Quoth is all-knowing. Quoth also has unlimited internet and a Skype account. ~Rifles and Ravens chapter 7 |
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