"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you find people questioning your sanity, copy and paste this into your profile

This is this cat. This is is cat. This is how cat. This is to cat. This is keep cat. This is a cat. This is dumbass cat. This is busy cat. This is for cat. This is forty cat. This is seconds cat. Now go back and read the third word in each sentence from the top. Pass it on.

I was Born in the month of Larxene
On the day of Xigbar
In the year of Xemnas,Demyx, Demyx, Vexen
I am Xion years young

My favorite number is Zexion

My lucky number is Roxas

If you get it, put your own on your profile

MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!

ONLY IN AMERICA...

...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance

...are there handicap parking spaces in front of ice-skating rinks

...sick people go to the back of Walgreens to get their medicine, while healthy people get their cigarettes at the front

...people buy hotdogs in packs of 10 and hotdog buns in packs of 8

...the banks leave both vaults open and then chain the pens to the counter

...people order a double cheese burger, large fries, and a diet coke

...people leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveways and keep their junk in garages

...people use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss the calls from someone they don't want to talk to in the first place

...is the word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" mean "blood-sucking creatures

10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL

10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks

9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies

8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly

7. Our magazines have horiscopes

6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around

5. Our friends don't say "hi" by punching us in the arm

4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month

3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have

2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket

1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing

This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination.

SUPPORT THE BUNNY!

Of course I'm talking to myself! Who else can I trust?

A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend continues walking while saying,"Walk much dumbass?"

A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain a best friend takes yours and says, " RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"

A friend wipes your tears when you're rejected a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because you're gay isn't it?"

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, THAT WAS AWSOME, LET'S DO IT AGAIN!

Friends will ask you why you are crying but best friends already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry.

She's my best friend, break her heart and I'll break your face!

I used to be normal, until I met those losers I now call my best friends!

Friends hug you good-bye. Best friends rape you in the hallway.

A friend will call you a retard but a best friend would call you one and act like one with you.

A best friend is a girl you can call in the middle of the night and say you killed someone and she would say "Where should we hide the body".

Sometimes I'm clueless and clumsy but I got friends who love me.

Best friends know that you're slow, stupid, and mess around yet they still don't care about being seen in public with you because they're idiots too.

I agree with the dictionary:
Girls before Guys
Fun before Studying
Friends before Love

My friends are people who spend hours trying to drown a fish but I love them to death!

You know you've got the greatest friends when the only time they make you cry is when you're laughing too hard.

A friend will laugh at you when you play the air guitar a best friend will be standing there next to you doing the drum beat on your head

If you think that everything is much more fun in an english accent then copy and paste this on to your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere. (...not entirely sure where though...)

I have common sense...I just choose not to listen to it.

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them so much.

Can mute people burp?

What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?

Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?

Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity...not so sure about the universe.

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you think that Demyx is adorable (not hot) copy this into your profile. Either one I don't care. He's awesome!

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this onto your profile. Heh...It wasn't an accident

If you probably need a life but have no intention of getting one, copy this into your profile page.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. One of my friends calls me insane which makes me laugh even harder. Hahah sometimes he stares, but he's equally insane if you ask me.

If you and/or your best friend are insane, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever tried to go into the back yard and ran into the glass door that you didn't see, copy and paste this to your profile.

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed in here."

The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:

"When I was born I was black,"

"When I grew up I was black,"

"When I'm sick I'm black,"

"When I go in the sun I'm black,"

"When I'm cold, I'm black,"

"When I die, I'll be black,"

"But you sir..."

"When you're born, you're pink,"

"When you grow up, you're white,"

"When you're sick, you're green,"

"When you go in the sun, you turn red,"

"When you're cold you turn blue,"

"And when you die, you turn purple."

"And yet you have the nerve to call me colored."

The black man then sat down and the white man walked away...

Copy this onto your site & help stop racism!

~ Treat each day as your last; one day you'll be right.

~ Follow your dreams. Except for that one where you're naked at work...

If you constantly need a new bookshelf in your room, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you always have a song stuck in your head, copy and paste this into your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that turkey-bird thing should be admitted into rehab for his obsession to Coco Puffs, C&P

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, tookieclothespen, bellabookworm9, letthemusicplay, -Jessica-Bella, xxDeath's Daughterxx, Pixel Ailce, Demyx-Axel-2362, johnnyboyrules

79 of all people who have played Kingdom Hearts II believe that Demyx is a poor fighter. If you know that he can kick butt and encourage those poor delusional gamers to try fighting him on expert mode in his second (albeit final) battle and THEN say he's a wimp, copy and paste this into your profile. Demyx ROCKS!

Copy and paste this into your profile if Axel's (and/or Demyx's!) death scene affected your emotions in a depressing way. The world will never be the same!

If you're easily confussed or confuzzled add this to you're profile.

If you've ever argued with yourself and lost, copy and paste this into your profile

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself . So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If you're anime boy crazy, copy this into your profile.

If you've made up an Organization XIII name for yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you believe Demyx has a heart, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you would never even consider betting against Alice Cullen, copy this onto your profile.

If you love Demyx, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever laughed out loud when you were thinking something funny and people looked at you with a weird face. Copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read muliple books at the same time copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl) comix-freak (Artemis Fowl (and Arty is my one and only!))scarilyobsessed(Fang, from maximum ride),TwilightNatalia(I had a crush on Ed from Fullmetal Alchemist for like 3 days then I got over it, if that counts) Kit-Kat Punk-lover (I'm in love with Gaara, Near, Envy and Beyond! Hahaha Strangest characters I know!!), Shimari (Beyond Birthday, and L, but BB ish my one and only at the moment...weird I know) Demyx-Axel-2362 (Definitely Axel and Demyx!!) Johnnyboyrules (Demyx, john alan gordon scott and virgil tracytbirds kick a)

If you have the most RANDOM dreams, copy this.

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love reading, copy this into your profile. (READING=MY LIFE)

If you're bored, and wish to subject others into wasting about 5 seconds of their lives, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you live in your own little world, copy and paste.

If you've ever tripped over air, copy and paste onto your profile.

If you've ever been on your computer for hours on end reading numerous fanfics, copy and paste this

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

You know you live in 2009 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So i must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so i MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so i MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so i MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so i must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so i must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so i must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so i must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so i MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so i MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE, So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist.
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I Must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!.
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy .
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see."
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
My friends say I look like a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I’m GAY so I MUST be after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue.
I STILL LIKE TO WATCH CARTOONS so I MUST be immature.

if you hate stereotypes and want people to shut up, put this on your own profile and make it known how stupid stereotypes are!

Here is 30 things to do in an exam if you know your going to fail it anyway:

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.
7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly. (if someone actually does this please tell me)
14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)
15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.
20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.
23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.
24. Masturbate.
25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"
26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!
27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

15 Things to do when your in A shopping center
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. ( I love this one! )
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look.
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!
15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

"He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron."

"When other little girls wanted to be ballerinas, I kinda wanted to be a VAMPIRE."

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile.

5/4 people have problems with fractions.

Don't follow in my footsteps...I walk into walls.

Who ever said: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." Never got hit with a dictionary.

If ya don't know me
Then don't judge me
ain't nobody said
u gotta luv me

If you KNOW that gravity hates you, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile. Splat!

"It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an airplane, and everyone joins in."

If you see a button that says, DO NOT PUSH, push it and run like hell-

We kick more than SOCCER players
We bump in to more things than VOLLEYBALL players bump the ball
We yell louder than CHEERLEADERS!
We have better “uniforms” than FOOTBALL players
We can’t get yelled at by our coach for hogging the spot light like BASKETBALL players.
We dive farther and long to get to our “home plate” than BASEBALL players
We are physically and mentally stronger than HOCKEY players
We move more than DANCERS
We do more flips than GYMASITCIS people
We do more laps than RUNNERS
And thats why i SWIM"

10 Reasons Why To Love A Swimmer

10) They can work individually or as a team
9) They're experts at putting on latex
8) They'll always keep going
7) They aren't afraid to make things fast
6) They don't worry about bases
5) They've got great technique
4) They don't wear very much
3) They can do it on their back OR stomach
2) They've got a favorite motto- "go in hard come out wet"
1) They know how to stroke it

Swim Cap: 3.00
Goggles: 20.00
Suit: 45.00
Explaining to your boss why one daughter shaves and the other daughter hasn't shaved in months: Priceless

"Breastroke is an athletic event, butterfly is a political statement." -- Paul Tsongas

I swim, therefore IM

swim for the heck of running into walls

if swimming were any easier it would be called football

to go faster in your butterfly just think how many times the hot guys will see your hot ass going up and down

Never mess with a swim team,
because we are tighter than our suits...
which are 4 sizes to small!"

the earth is 3/4 water. but i only need one lane to kick your ass

When the earth floods from global warming,the SWIMMERS will rule the world

Excuses r like feet, everyone has them, but they all STINK!!