Does anyone actually read these things? Or am I just wasting my time? Who has time to read or write profiles, with all the fics out there?

Yeah, go ahead. Click Hide Bio. You know you want to. Just stop yammering, you say, and show me your stories. Fine. I won't be able to do anything about it. I worked hard on this, but it's okay. It's not like my feeling are hurt or anything. (sarcasm)

If you enjoy taking credit for other people's work, copy and paste this into your profile.

Hello, my name is Deep Forest Green, and unlike Joseph Smith, I have not yet found a way to write fanfiction for a living.

To paraphrase Stephen King:

My goal is to make you feel. If I can't make you feel, I'll settle for making you think. If I can't make you think, I'll settle for making you laugh.

About Me

Personality type: INFP

Dominant Brain Hemisphere: Right (I'm a writer, aren't I?)

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw/Gryffindor

Divergent faction: Erudite, though frankly I'd rather be in Candor

D&D Alignment: Neutral Good

Current Internet Celebrity Crushes: Ryan Higa/Nigahiga, HolaSoyGerman, Hank Green (Nerdfighter 4ever!)

What can I tell you about myself? Like Cosette, I have been too much on my own, but like Éponine, I know a lot of things, I do. Like Marius, I'm doing everything all wrong, but like Enjolras, I strive toward a larger goal. Like Gavroche, I may look easy pickings, but like Monsieur Thénardier, I am a regular Voltaire. Like Fantine, I'm no grander than the rest of us; and like Jean Valjean, this is all I have known. Like Inspector Javert... um, there is nothing on earth that WE share. And like Azelma, I have not been featured in the Les Miserables musical.

I am fascinated with history in the 19th and 20th centuries, especially American and European history. Anything set in New York City or the American South is particularly intriguing to me. I don't really like stories set in the here and now because they're not enough of an escape... but on the other hand, I don't like sci-fi or fantasy because it's too MUCH of an escape. Historical fiction is, for me, the perfect middle ground.

In general, I really dislike AU fics (not divergence, just to be clear, but alternate setting stuff), especially modern AU. They tend to be really OOC and just generally not as good as canon era ones. I will write them very sparingly, only as a way to explore character aspects that couldn't be explored in the 1800s. Modern AUs are pervasive in the Les Mis and, to a lesser extent, the GWTW fandoms. In the Enjonine ship especially, it seems as if two out of every three fics is a modern (or other) AU. It is particularly annoying when the fics are not labeled as modern AU and you get a paragraph or two in when you see something about a laptop and you're like 'Oh crap, it's a modern AU' and have to totally reset your mental image of the setting and characters. What's disturbing to me is that modern-AUness has become the new default setting for LM fanfiction, especially the ones involving Les Amis. Personally, (almost) all the stories I write are canon era. I respect the people who do a lot of research to make their fics historically accurate, but I just don't have the discipline to do all that.

Anyway, that's my rant on modern AUs. I don't mean to offend anyone who likes/writes modern AUs, it's just my personal preference. I enjoy Les Mis and GWTW for their settings as much as for their characters, and I feel that a lot is lost when that is taken away.

It's a mystery to me why Les Mis and GWTW isn't a more common fandom combination, like LM and Phantom of the Opera. Maybe it's because LM is more of a British/French thing and GWTW is an American thing, or because LM tends to attract fans of recent musical theater while GWTW tends to attract fans of old movies and books, or because of the different ways in which the authors view slavery. Personally, I think that GWTW is a better story, but LM has a better message. Although GWTW does have a pretty good message about not taking things or people for granted until they're gone. I don't understand how Mitchell could have been so right about love and so wrong about politics, or Hugo could have been so right about politics and so wrong about love. So, for love I go to Mitchell; for politics I go to Hugo; and for society I go to both.

My username comes from the Simon and Garfunkel recording of Scarborough Fair, one of the most hauntingly beautiful songs in the history of ever. I am proudly and unabashedly an atheist and on the extreme left politically, and some of that may come across in my fanfiction. I am also extremely careful about spelling and grammar. I am an extremely private person and have a tendency to be blunt to the point of rudeness. I love history, music, Spanish, cats, nature, and spending the day mindlessly surfing the Internet in my pajamas. If you follow one of my stories or leave a review, I will almost certainly visit your profile page and return the favor by dropping in on one of your stories.

Something I discovered randomly is that in a multi-chapter fic, about a third of the people who read chapter 1 go on to chapter 2. Just an interesting tidbit I wanted to share.

I'm an amateur lyricist. You may have noticed that a lot of my fics are song parodies, because I can't write poetry (well, I can if I try, but I don't usually like to do free-form). Plus it's a nice way around the "no song lyrics" rule.

Once I have written more LM fanfic, you will notice that "Marius and Hugo are the same person" is a bit of a running joke. Let's just say that Marius is a bit psychic; he tends to know things about people and the outcome of events before they happen, and seems to even be able to control them to some extent or step outside the story. He doesn't need a girlfriend, he has super powers. Another running joke is that Valjean and Éponine have no idea who each other are, even though they're constantly forced to interact with and/or reference each other.

I like to divide up Les Mis characters into two categories: old (born before 1800) and young (born after 1800). I wish there was more fanfic about the old characters: Valjean, Javert, the Thénardiers, the Bishop, and Fantine. True, Fantine isn't really "old"- she's the same age when we see her as the students are when we see them- but the key difference is that we see her ten years earlier than we see the students. We don't know for sure when she was born, but it would've been right around 1800. Fanon has it that she was born in 1796, which is easy to remember because it's the same year Valjean went to prison for stealing bread.

I wish there was more LM fic based on the 1998 movie, which was the first film adaptation I saw and is, in my opinion, severely underrated in the fandom.

I love the way that fanfiction brings together people from all over the world, across language and cultural barriers, to bond over something universal. True, it's not as good as actually helping people, but I'll take what I can get for now.

I appreciate reviews (duh). I also equally appreciate solicited PMs and thoughtful replies to my polls and reviews. Basically, anything you can put in my inbox.

I've discovered that going back to edit my profile every once in a while is therapeutic and would recommend it to anyone suffering from writer's block.

My Friends on FFN

rebecca-in-blue

RandomCat100

Elodie . Haven

France1832

Ships

Les Misérables: Valjean/Fantine (OTP), Enjolras/Éponine, M./Mme. Thénardier

Indifferent or conflicted towards: Cosette/Éponine, Marius/Cosette, Enjolras/Grantaire, Marius/Éponine*

I don't mind this ship itself so much as the shippers. To me, it just feels like a lot of whiny, lovelorn teenagers who don't know the story well and who think that if 'Ponine and Marius get together, it will somehow solve their own relationship woes. Weirdly, I ship them more in the book universe than in the musical/movie universe, even though they're less compatible there and barely know each other, just because I think the relationship has a better potential to be interesting. Sometimes I feel that Marius didn't deserve 'Ponine; sometimes I feel it's the other way around. Anyway, they're both stalkers, and there's that whole thing with their dads, so I feel the ship could be really juicy; but most people just squander that in favor of playing out a romantic fantasy. When I saw the movie, I honestly thought at first that Marius and 'Ponine were siblings, so the relationship will always be a bit squicky for me. I'm not saying it couldn't happen; but I actually kind of prefer it when Marius only realizes his feelings for her after she's dead (possibly several years later).

Anti-Ship: Javert/anyone

Favorite Friendship/Family Relationships: Montparnasse/Éponine, Montparnasse/Gavroche, Valjean/Cosette, Enjolras/Combeferre (although I'm being won over to this one as a quasi-romantic ship)

Fave crack ship: Marius/Azelma (because Marius deserved to be with someone who didn't love him, IMO)

Fave crack OT3: Valjean/Fantine/Simplice

Gone with the Wind: Rhett/Belle, Will/Carreen, Ashley/Melanie, Dr./Mrs. Meade, Ellen/Phillippe, Pork/Dilcey because they don't get enough love and a lot of people don't even realize that they're a couple because they're black

Conflicted about: Rhett/Scarlett, Suellen/anyone, Ella/Beau

Anti-ships: Frank/anyone, Scarlett/Charles, Scarlett/Ashley, Charles/Honey, India/anyone, Johnnie/anyone, Archie/anyone, Wade/anyone, Bonnie/anyone, Henry/anyone, Prissy/anyone, Gerald/Ellen (I'm sorry, it's squicky)

Favorite Friendships: Scarlett/Mammy, Melanie/Belle

Fave crack pairings: Scarlett/Prissy, Frank/Pitty, Ashley/Belle, Rhett/Ellen, Melanie/Scarlett

Mostly I just wish that there was more non-romantic GWTW fic. The novel is about so many other things besides Scarlett and Rhett's relationship!

Harry Potter: Harry/Luna, Ron/Luna, Neville/Ginny, or Harry/Ginny (book universe), Harry/Hermione and Neville/Luna (movie universe), Bill & Fleur, Lupin & Tonks, Lucius & Narcissa, Andromeda & Ted, Bellatrix & Voldemort (one-sided), Draco/no one

(I like Ron, I just don't like him with Hermione)

Favorite Friendships: the golden trio, the silver trio, Fred & George, Sirius & Remus, Remus & Kingsley, Hagrid and Harry, any human/their animal companion

Anti-ships: Lily/Snape, Draco/Hermione, Harry/Ron, Ron/Hermione, Hagrid/anyone, Dumbledore/McGonagall, any adult/any student

Fave guilty pleasure ships: Harry/Draco, Ginny/Tom Riddle

People I Love in HP (don't make me pick a favorite!)

Hagrid (I would give him ALL the hugs)

Lupin (and by extension, Tonks and Teddy)

McGonagall :)

Luna :)

Pretty much everyone who's developed and who isn't a Death Eater

Regulus... yeah, I know he's a Death Eater (sort of), and it's not exactly that I like him, but I definitely want to know more about him and his true motivations, and maybe see a reconciliation with Sirius...

Ship Names I Use

Valjean/Fantine: Valtine, Valentine (aww)

Valjean/Javert: Valvert (JV/J is confusing)

Cosette/Marius: Marsette, Mariette or Cosarius (Mosette sounds like the sound a cow makes)

Éponine/Marius: Marponine (Meponine has hardly any Marius in it)

Éponine/Enjolras: Enjonine (Epjolras just looks weird)

Marius/Azelma: Marzelma (I like this one, it's fun!)

Enjolras/Combeferre: Enjolferre (cute)

Enjolras/Grantaire: E/R (although Enjoltaire is also acceptable)

Cosette/Éponine: Éposette (cuter!)

Éponine/Montparnasse: Montponine (fancy)

Marius/Montparnasse: Montarius (elegant)

Characters I Like to Write About/who Deserve More Attention

Les Mis

Felix Tholomyès

Sister Simplice

Thénardier

GWTW

Belle Watling

Will Benteen

Ellen O'Hara

Random Things I Fangirl About

Weird Al Yankovic (I refuse to put quotation marks around the word Weird)

Pixar (especially the Pixar theory)

The Nightmare Before Christmas, and stop-motion animation in general

The Shining

Bill Maher

50s swing music

My Les Mis Dream Cast

Jean Valjean: Mandy Patinkin, Hugh Jackman or Caleb Hyles (singing) or Liam Neeson or Joaquin Phoenix (non-singing)

Javert: Kelsey Grammer, Norm Lewis, Kevin Spacey, or Judi Dench (singing) or Geoffrey Rush (non-singing)

Fantine: Amy Adams, Elizabeth South, or Kristen Bell (singing)

Cosette: Jessica Brown Findlay (non-singing)

Marius: Jeremy Jordan (singing) - though he would be good as Enjolras as well

Éponine: Hailee Steinfeld (non-singing)

Thénardier: Jack Nicholson 30 years ago (non-singing) or Weird Al Yankovic (singing)

Mme. Thénardier: Lesley Nicol of Downton Abbey (non-singing)

Enjolras: Sierra Boggess or Daniel Huttlestone when he grows up (singing)

Bamatabois: Seth MacFarlane (fingers crossed!)

My Modern GWTW Dream Cast

Scarlett: Shailene Woodley, Emma Stone, Emma Watson, or Samantha Barks

Rhett: Jonathan Rhys Meyers or Jon Hamm

Ashley: Aaron Tveit or Dan Stevens

Melanie: IDK

Mammy: Gabourey Sidibe

Will Benteen: Paul Dano

Suellen: Hailee Steinfeld or AnnaSophia Robb

Carreen: Abigail Breslin or Kiernan Shipka

Gerald: Martin Sheen

Ellen: Marion Cotillard

Belle: Emmy Rossum

Prissy: Amandla Stehnberg- no offense to her or to black people in general, I just can't think of anyone else who could play her

Frank: Martin Freeman

Pitty: Kathy Bates

My Modern To Kill a Mockingbird Cast

Atticus: Benedict Cumberbatch

Jem: Daniel Huttlestone

Scout: IDK

Dill: IDK

Bob Ewell: IDK

Heck Tate: IDK

Mayella: Jennifer Lawrence

Calpurnia: Viola Davis

Tom Robinson: Anthony Mackie

Aunt Alexandra: Nicole Kidman

Miss Maudie: Amy Adams

Boo Radley: IDK

Favorite Quotes and Song Lyrics

History begins as a tragedy and ends as a farce. -Karl Marx

The true revolutionary is guided by great feelings of love. -Che Guevara

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not. -Dr. Seuss

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off. -Gloria Steinem

It may be stupid, but it's also dumb. -Patrick Star, SpongeBob SquarePants

Imagine all the people living for today/You may say I'm a dreamer/But I'm not the only one/I hope someday you'll join us/And the world will be as one. -John Lennon, Imagine

Always look on the bright side of death/Just before you draw your terminal breath/Life's a piece of (bleep)/When you look at it/Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true. -Eric Idle, Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

Love and hate are like two brothers who go on a date. -Christmas Eve, Avenue Q

Make like a tree and get outta here. -Biff Tannen to his older self, Back to the Future Part 2

It's even worse when you know there's a name for it. -Homer Simpson

I like nonsense. It wakes up the brain cells. -Dr. Seuss

Sometimes it's difficult to keep momentum if it's you that you are following. -Eva Perón, Evita

Life is made up of sobs, sniffles and smiles, with sniffles predominating. -O. Henry, The Gift of the Magi

We don't want to feel LESS when we have finished a book, we want to feel that new possibilities of being have been opened to us. We don't want to close a book with a sense that life is totally unfair and that there is no light in the darkness; we want to feel that we have been given illumination. -Madeleine L'Engle, Walking on Water

There are some touching illusions which are, perhaps, sublime realities. -Victor Hugo, Les Miserables

It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit. -Noel Coward

Be glad you're some of the dirt that got to sit up and look around. -Kurt Vonnegut

Ways to Annoy Your Teacher

·Whenever they hand out an assignment, shout out, "An assignment?! What is this, Mission Impossible?!"

·Ask your lit teacher to do math and vice versa. I guarantee they will both be bad at the opposite subject.

·Whenever they make a really erudite literary analysis, say, "It's just like on Family Guy when- " and then bust out a reference. Your classmates will get it; your teacher will not.

·Give them a detailed list of what you're going to do when you become the teacher for their class.

·Tell them you do creative writing in your free time, and when they ask to see it, say "Oh, it's all on Fanfiction." If they don't physically facepalm, they'll at least roll their eyes, suggesting their desire to do so, and express their disappointment in you.

Review Pet Peeves

One-liners. If you're going to bother to review one of my fics, at least take the time to say something substantial and/or constructive. (Yes, I know I'm a hypocrite on this point.)

The converse: overly long, nitpicky, critical, argumentative reviews. (Yes, I'm guilty of this too, although not as often, for obvious reasons.)

Reviews with bad spelling and/or grammar. If you're not good with conventions, that's fine; I probably won't comment on it in a story unless it's truly awful. I get that some people write in English even though it's not their first language, and others have technological limitations. But please show a little more respect for other people's stories. And if you're writing in a language that's not your native tongue, get a beta.

Reviews complaining that someone was OOC. If someone is OOC in one of my fics, there is probably a good plot reason for it. I will try to label a fic if I feel it is OOC as such, to save you the trouble.

Reviews submitted by registered users who didn't log in. If you're going to bother to post a review, you might as well go ahead and prove to me that you are who you say you are. I want to look at your profile page, I really do, but you have to help me on that front by providing me with a link and not making me do all the work. Otherwise, you might as well review as an anon guest.

Fics Pet Peeves

Overly long fics. Some of them are excellently written, but I just don't have the time or the attention span, and I tend to forget what happened from one chapter to the next. Short paragraphs make it easier to digest.

Overly into romance/physical descriptions of characters. This is gratuitous and not the purpose of fanfiction. Also, fics where it's hard to tell where the action is taking place. DO NOT FORGET SETTING!

Angsty poetry. Just in general, I tend not to like it. Funny poetry is great.

"Bad summary, please read anyway." Not unless you put at least as much effort into your summary as you did into your story. AT LEAST.

Les Mis Fic Pet Peeves

Fics that leave off the accent marks in "Éponine" and "Thénardier". Also if the accent mark is facing the wrong way, though this is more rare. If it's just once by accident, I can understand, but if it's done consistently, it shows me that you're not familiar with the correct spelling and aren't taking the piece seriously. (Then again, it's probably best not to take fanfic too seriously.)

Referring to teenage Éponine as a Thénardier, even though her family changed its name to Jondrette when it moved to Paris.

Writing a brother-sister relationship between Gavroche and Éponine, even though they didn't even know of each other's existence, much less that they were related.

Describing Cosette's blonde hair when the book says that she is a brunette. Especially when it is used as an excuse to turn her into the dumb (or worse, mean) blond-girl stereotype. This is particularly pervasive in modern AU fics, where Cosette is the bitchy popular girl who has been going steady with Marius since freshman year but underneath it all she is a real... well, we won't name names. So far, virtually all the fics I've seen that describe Cosette's hair say she is a blond, to set her up as a counterpoint to Éponine.

Describing Marius as best friends with either Enjolras or Éponine, or as a loyal member of the Friends of the ABC.

Describing Marius' brown hair, green eyes and copious freckles, even though the book says that he has black hair.

Describing Éponine as "Marius' shadow" and detailing her frequent visits to the Café Musain and how the students noticed her, even though she never set foot there in either the book or the musical except on the night of June 5th, dressed as a man, in order to die with Marius.

Describing how Marius fell in love with Cosette at first sight even though he had been friends with Éponine for months, if not years, and indicating that he is callous, stupid, and has some obligation to be with Éponine because she is poor and loved him first.

Any indication that Éponine accepts the relationship between Marius and Cosette (unless she's in a relationship with someone else at this point).

Romanticizing Montparnasse or indicating that he is really a good person underneath it all. I'm willing to accept that he's not completely evil, but he is miles away from achieving decency, much less sainthood.

Exaggerating the sexual nature of the relationship between Enjolras or Grantaire, or either one's characteristics. The book described them emphatically enough. I'm not saying you can't ship them, just don't make it into a smutty, homoerotic drunken fantasy or I won't read it.

Making Cosette too eager to forgive Éponine for the way she treated her as a child.

Explicitly characterizing Valjean as asexual, or assuming that just because he never had the CHANCE to be in a romantic relationship because he was STARVING and IN PRISON for NINETEEN YEARS that he must not be interested. It's because he didn't have the TIME. (I haven't seen this yet, but I'm sure it's out there somewhere.) Honestly, you can make him gay, straight, ace, whatever the hell you want, I don't care; I don't want people fighting about his sexuality the way they fight over Enjolras'. But when you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.

Brutal descriptions of physical and sexual abuse of the Jondrette girls, especially by Montparnasse and/or their father, or sugarcoating Éponine's willingness to participate in the gang's crimes. We don't know for sure whether Éponine was a prostitute, nor exactly what was entailed in her relationship with Montparnasse. But there is nothing in the novel to suggest that she feels duty-bound to protect Azelma from abuse even at the cost of her own safety.

E/É where Enjolras falls for Éponine almost as soon as he sees her.

Describing Fantine as an all-around loving person, even though there's no indication that she ever cared about anyone besides Cosette, Félix, Jean Valjean/Madeleine, and possibly Sister Simplice. Trusting, yes.

Gushing over Samantha Barks in the description. Not that she isn't great, I just don't like the cult that's built up around her. The flip side of this is tearing down Russell Crowe. Fanfiction is not the place for giving your opinions about specific performers.

Note: I can excuse most of these in a movie/musical universe, but they really bother me in fanfic that's supposed to be based on the novel. I'm sorry, I don't want you to think I'm a nitpicky person!

All fictional characters are biromantic/bisexual so stop arguing about ships

Anyway, that's my Fan Fiction profile. Are you still here? Good. I hope you had as much fun reading this as I did writing it. Interpret that however you want. And if you've hung around this long, perhaps you'd like to read one of my stories...