Note: Just push "End" on your keyboard if you want to skip all this and reach the end of the page.

New Update Board:

4.05.14

Looking for a beta for "Cult of Herobrine." Message me if you're interested. Yes, it's already in progress but it wouldn't hurt to make it as best as it can be, and I am unsure if I can do it alone.

So again, message me if you're interested or if you know someone who might fit the bill. And if it works out the way I hope it does, I'll gain much better writing and that person will be a beta for any and all stories we agree on (like, if I want them to beta that story, which is likely, and if they are interested in being my beta again and for that story).

4.08.14

I've taken down stories that I feel distract me from the other ones I put more heart into. I might repost them at later dates, but if so, it'll be far later. Relatively, as everything is. For any questions please contact me via message.

7.22.14

I'm heavily considering re-opening "Not So Gentle Creatures" and making a few more chapters. I now have a beta for "Cult of Herobrine" and have had her for a while now. No other beta necessary.

Actual "Permanent" Profile Below

Aliases: Hunter Pig, wuggles, shadowarcher415, and hunter415

It may have been a while, but I'm over myself and I'm ready to get back to giving back to Fanfiction!

I'm a guy. Very important detail here.

I've read many fanfics before getting an account. So I want to give back.

You do something for me, like reviewing or favoriting, and I'll message you in thanks. Few people chat back... : ( Awesome. More people are starting to chat back!

I'm a regular player of Minecraft, and my username for MC, hunter415. Just not playing lately... I will again sometime. Just not now.

Feel free to PM me if you want to suggest stuff for the stories, or want to ask me something that might be unclear, or just for fun. I'm not much of a skilled writer, but I do try. That counts as something, right?

I live in the United States. I'm young, though definitely not telling you people what age. You might infiltrate my computer with that info.

I like to read and write, to play and watch, and I'm a big fan of the Epic Battle Fantasy saga. BIG fan. Of course, also big fan of Minecraft, Left 4 Dead, Bioshock, Silent Hill, Gears of War, Artemis Fowl, Ocarina of Time, Dying Light, Fullmetal Alchemist, Soul Eater, and quite a few other things.

Co-writers of mine include my RL friend (not real name but his alias) The Zing {He's co-writer for War of the Withers}, and critic for Silent Hill: Salvation.

I like pigs and tea. Er, not like eating pigs while drinking tea. O_o 2 seperate things OK? Like I like LIVING pigs (I admit, pork is delicious... including bacon) and I like drinking tea. Tea is dead already. Or really, I suppose it's abiotic, like water. Leaf water.

I talk to myself, and have had internal arguments. I admit, there were a few that I lost.

XD Holy crap! War of the Withers just hit 2000 views!! Thanks to all of you that read, Zing and I really appreciate all you've done in reviewing and favoriting and such. (Monday, June 15 of 2013.)

Now, a little more info about myself:

Gender: Male

Age: 15

Phone number: ... Nah. Don't need a hefty bill.

Email address: Ask by PM. Otherwise, nope.

Address: You're seriously kidding me, right?

Favorite animal: If you don't know by now, then go look at my stories and that should tell you. (It's a pig.)

Favorite number: I'm torn between 2, 3, and 5. They're really cool. No, I'm not crazy. I'm insane. There is a difference.

Favorite color: Black. Used to be red, then blue, but now it's black. An awesome color.

Favorite song: ... I can't have a favorite, it depends on my mood and how recently I've heard the song and other variables. Currently listening to Remember the Name, though...

Favorite movies:... I don't get out much. *shrug*

Favorite TV shows: Soul Eater, Untold Stories of the ER (if that's the title, can't recall...)

Favorite place to be: with a good friend, or at a computer, or preferably both.

Weird thing about me: Too much to tell.

As for Zing's videos, he's got a Youtube channel now! He's put at least 4 of them up, and starting just a bit later on we'll (yes, you'll see a bit of me there too) make other videos about video games and perhaps discussions, depending on other variables. So a lot planned, and hope it goes well!

He's Mavis' BigDaddy. Just search that and you'll find him.

Lol. So much font work. :3

Want an awesome read? Something with ACTION and COMEDY and ROMANCE and AWESOMENESS?!?!?!

Praise for the best writer duo and best stories I've ever seen this side of non-conceitedness:

The Mysterion Mythos series by Jizena and Rosie Denn.

You want news on the stories, or the stories I've made? Ask me, or look at the bottom, respectively.

Some Cool Things Said:

"It's the end of the world, did you think it would be easy?"

"But eventually is such a tedious concept."

"If being innocent is a crime, then my friend is guilty. But if being guilty is a crime, and it is, then my friend is innocent."

"I'd rather die a man than live like this..."

"We only did it because we wanted to!"

"I count Atlantis [as one of the continents]. Trust me, if you had the security clearance I do, you would too."

"You know, in Tasmania cheating at Stomp the Wombat is a capital crime."

"Sir, we're surrounded!
Good, now they can't get away."

Awesome Times, With Hunter and Zing:

Time #1:

Me: Fire!

Zing: *fire plasmid*

Me: *facepalm* With the rivet gun!

Time #2:

Zing: Run!

Me: Nah, man. I got this!

(Tank punts me off building)

Me: ...

Zing: *facepalm*

When you carry a Bible, the devil gets a headache.
When you open it, he collapses.
When he sees you reading it, he faints.
When he sees you living it, he flees.
Just when you're about to re-post this, he will try to discourage you.
I just defeated him. Copy and paste this to your profile if you're in God's army and strong enough to pick up a sword. :)

Can you raed tihs? I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. If you can raed tihs cpoy and ptsae tihs itno yuor pirlofe and add yuor nmae in mxeid from. DrakKyrpitd, Sahdo-cahn, hteunr415

(\)_(/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're part of the 7 percent that would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, copy and paste this into your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. If you would be one of the 8 percent who would be laughing their heads off, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like the rain copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor Trix rabbit some Trix, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this; because in the Bible, it says that if you deny me, then I shall deny you before my Father in the gates of Heaven.

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile. (Once a planet, always a planet.)

How much am I worth?

Natural Hair Color:

[ ] Brown - $100

[ ] Blonde - $50

[x] Black - $15

[ ] Bald - $5

[ ] other - $75

Total: $15

Eye Color:

[x] Brown - $50

[ ] Green - $75

[ ] Blue - $150

[ ] Hazel - $100

[ ] Other - $15

Total: $65

Height:

[ ] Over 7' - $200

[ ] 6'8" to 7' - $175

[ ] 6'0" to 6'7" - $150

[ ] 5'5" to 5'11" - $75

[x] 5'4" to 5'10" - $85

[ ] Under 5'4" - $0

Total: $150

Age:

[ ] 50 to 56 - $175

[ ] 46 to 50 - $150

[ ] 41 to 45 - $125

[ ] 31 to 40 - $100

[ ] 26 to 30 - $75

[ ] 21 to 25 - $50

[ ] 19 to 20 - $25

[x] 0 to 18 - $100

Total so far: $250

Birth Order:

[ ] Twins or more than twins - $750

[ ] First born - $320

[ ] Only Child - $250

[ ] Second born - $150

[ ] Middle child - $100

[ ] Last Born - $100

[ ] Third born - $550

[x] Fourth born - $300

[ ] Fifth born - $400

[ ] Sixth born -$215

Total: $550

Drink?

[ ] I did like once - $400

[ ] Only Holidays - $250

[ ] Sometimes - $215

[ ] YES - $200

[ ] Only weekends - $300

[ ] Every other day - $50

[ ] Once a day - $15

[ ] I live from the bottle - $Bankrupt$ BACK TO ZERO!

[x] No - $600

Total so far: $1150

Vision?

[ ] Perfect vision - $400

[ ] Need or have glasses/contacts but don’t wear them - $200

[ ] No correction - $100

[x] Glasses - $50

[ ] Contacts - $25

[ ] Surgical correction - $100

Total so far: $1250

Favorite Colors (multiple):

[ ] Green - $750

[x] Red - $600

[x] Black - $100

[ ] Yellow -$475

[x] Brown - $300

[ ] Purple - $225

[x] White - $400

[ ] Aqua - $350

[ ] Orange - $300

[x] Blue - $300

[ ] Pink - $100

[ ] Other - $500 (silver, gold, chrome)

Total: $2950

Did you use a calculator to add it all up?

[ ] Yes - $0

[x] Nope - $1000

[ ] some - $750

TOTAL: $3950

... TT_TT I'm so low on value! I can't even buy a house!!!!!

lost your pen = no pen

no pen = no notes

no notes = no study

no study = fail

fail = no diploma

no diploma = no job

no job = no money

no money = no food

no food = you get skinny

you get skinny = ugly

ugly = no love

no love = no marriage

no marriage = no children

no children = alone

alone = depressed

depressed = sickness

sickness= DEATH!

PEOPLE DO NOT LOSE YOUR PENS!!!

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep), Alleyanna Cullen, hugz.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6 (hoo yeah), GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc.(:D), AVirgoGirl, xcheergrlx3, Mrs.DiAngelo, Percabethrox17, Nico's Future Wife, DaughterofPoseidon32498, Annabeth Supporter, awesomexxxadrienne, CarriieBerriie, CoolWater123, NuEra, Thalia Grace-Pinecone Face, Daughter-Of-Jove, crystalluv4book, BOOKWORM1756!!!, hunter049

If you belive in Jesus Christ put this on your profile. Did you know that 96% of people even if they say they are Christains will not stand up for him. So if your one of the people that is in the 4% group put this on your profile. If you deny it you are denying Jesus Christ yourself. In the Bible it says that if you deny Him, He will deny you right in front off his father. So put this on your file if you ever want to walk through the gates to heaven. Please do this.

Seriously, the stories are at the bottom. If you're still reading this super-long profile, either you are extremely loyal to my awesome writing skills or very bored. Probably the latter.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Growing old is mandatory . . . growing up is optional . . .

I was about to conquer the world but then I got distracted by something shiny

They laugh because we're losers... We laugh because they just figured it out.

In your bed, its 6:00. You close your eyes for 5 minutes and its 7:45.
At school, its 1:30 pm. You close your eyes for 5 minutes and its 1:30 pm.

When life throws you lemons, throw them back and tell life to make its own freakin’ lemonade !!

When life gives you lemons, say: “What the hell am I supposed to do with this?!”

Life gave you lemons? Ha! I got blueberries!

When life hands you lemons ….. ask how the hell it found your house.

Unless life also hands you some water and sugar, your lemonade is going to suck. Just sayin'.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE, now that's weird.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Twilight: Proof that sparkly things attract idiots.

Is the glass half full or half empty? Technically it is 99.9% empty due to the molecular structure of all atoms/molecules, including water particles and air molecules.

The news is where they say, "Good Evening" and then proceed to tell you why it's not.

My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.

I used to have super powers... But my therapist took them away.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit!

Don't follow in my footsteps, I walk into walls.

Common Sense

An educated son and his uneducated father decide to go camping. After setting up camp, it turns dark and they go to sleep. Several hours later, the father wakes up his son and asks him, "Look up to the skies, boy, and tell me what you see." The boy responds, "I see millions of stars. They're beautiful." The father asks, "Now what does that tell you?" His son says, "That there are billions of stars and planets in the universe." The father slaps his son hard and says, "No, you idiot! It means someone stole our tent!"

Laughing & Crying

A wise man in a crowd cracks a hilarious joke. Everyone laughs like crazy. After a moment, he tells it again. Less people laugh. He keeps on doing so until nobody laughs. He then smiled and said, "You can't laugh at the same joke again and again, so why do you cry over the same thing over and over again?"

Battle of the Wolves

An old Cherokee once told his grandson, "There are always two wolves battling inside us all. One is Evil. It's anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies, and ego. Then there is Good. It's joy, peace, love, hope, humility, truth, and kindness." The boy thought about it and asked his grandfather, "Which one wins?" His grandfather quietly replied, "The one you feed."

FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!:

Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), DGMSilverAirHead03(USA), Crystal Amethyst (Armenia), InoueR0xO (Pakistan), poohxebony (USA), DreamingInThePast (Spain), loves2readandwrite (USA), SeaDevil (Sweden), Vampgal212 (U.K.), Verdigurl ( New Zealand), Animerockchic (Republic of Ireland), Momoka64 (USA), Ve Kuraresa Bleach (USA), AFleetingPhantom (U.K.), EpicHeroLaugh(USA), Fruity-Dragonfly (USA), 9foxgrl (USA), Potato Jam 7 (USA), Bookworm1756 (Canada), hunter049 (USA)

Month one
Mommy, I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two
Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three
You know what Mommy? I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.

Month Four
Mommy, my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five
You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy--your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six
I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy, what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven
Mommy, I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me, Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this.

OKAY, IF YOU'RE STILL READING THIS, YOU ARE AMAZING. NOW GO TO THE BOTTOM BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE THE STORIES ARE.

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

Girl: *She gives him a big hug*

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working, but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live.

This is the stupidity test! 100 stupid things that people do! Bold the ones that you have done!

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push

11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.
23. Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store off their property
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. Looked into an overhead light purposely while it was on
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. Have ever laughed at a joke or movie that no one else thought was funny
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one or because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out.
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jamb
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them (I once named the birthmark I have on my palm.)
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth

A science professor begins his school year with a lecture to the students: "Let me explain the problem science has with religion."

The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.

"You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"

"Yes, sir," the student says.

"So you believe in God?"

"Absolutely."

"Is God good?"

"Sure! God's good."

"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"

"Yes."

Now the professor asks, "Are you good or evil?"

"The Bible says I'm evil," replies the student.

The professor grins knowingly.

"Aha! The Bible!" He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?"

"Yes, sir, I would."

"So you're good…!"

"I wouldn't say that."

"But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't."

The student does not answer, so the professor continues. "He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?"

The student remains silent.

"No, you can't, can you?" the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.

"Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?"

"Er… yes," the student says.

"Is Satan good?"

The student doesn't hesitate on this one. "No."

"Then where does Satan come from?"

The student falters. "From God," he answers after a few moments.

"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"

"Yes, sir."

"Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?"

"Yes."

"So who created evil?" The professor continued, "If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil."

Again, the student has no answer. "Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?"

The student squirms on his feet. "Yes."

"So who created them?"

The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. "Who created them?" There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized. "Tell me," he continues onto another student. "Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"

The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor, I do."

The old man stops pacing. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?"

"No, sir. I've never seen Him."

"Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"

"No, sir, I have not."

"Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?"

"No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't."

"Yet you still believe in him?"

"Yes."

"According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?"

"Nothing," the student replies. "I only have my faith."

"Yes, faith," the professor repeats. "And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith."

The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of his own. "Professor, is there such thing as heat?"

"Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."

"And is there such a thing as cold?"

"Yes, son, there's cold too."

"No, sir, there isn't."

The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain. "You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest, minus 458 degrees.

"Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it."

Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.

"What about darkness, professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?"

"Yes," the professor replies without hesitation. "What is night if it isn't darkness?"

"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word.

"In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?"

The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. "So what point are you making, young man?"

"Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed."

The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. "Flawed? Can you explain how?"

"You are working on the premise of duality," the student explains. "You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure.

"Sir, science can't explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.

"Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?"

"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do."

"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"

The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.

"Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an ongoing endeavour, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?"

The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided.

"To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean."

The student looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?" The class breaks out into laughter.

"Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir."

"So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?"

Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable.

Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. "I guess you'll have to take them on faith."

"Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life," the student continues. "Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?"

Now uncertain, the professor responds, "Of course, there is. We see it every day. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil."

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist, sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down.

If you take comfort in the fact that God gave the world his only son, add this to your profile.

Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in the tiune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

then copy and paste this in your profile

If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...

"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

Deck of Cards

It was quiet that day, the guns and the mortars, and land mines for some reason hadn't been heard.

The young soldier knew it was Sunday, the holiest day of the week.

As he was sitting there, he got out an old deck of cards and laid them out across his bunk.

Just then an army sergeant came in and said, 'Why aren't you with the rest of the platoon?'

The soldier replied, 'I thought I would stay behind and spend some time with the Lord.'

The sergeant said, 'Looks to me like you're going to play cards.'

The soldier said, 'No, sir. You see, since we are not allowed to have Bibles or other spiritual books in this country,

I've decided to talk to the Lord by studying this deck of cards.'

The sergeant asked in disbelief, 'How will you do that?'

'You see the Ace, Sergeant? It reminds me that there is only one God.

The Two represents the two parts of the Bible, Old and New Testaments

The Three represents the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost.

The Four stands for the Four Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John .

The Five is for the five virgins, there were ten, but only five of them were glorified.

The Six is for the six days it took God to create the Heavens and Earth.

The Seven is for the day God rested after making His Creation.

The Eight is for the family of Noah and his wife, their three sons and their wives -- the eight people God spared from the flood that destroyed the Earth.

The Nine is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy. He cleansed ten, but nine never thanked Him.

The Ten represents the Ten Commandments that God handed down to Moses on tablets made of stone.

The Jack is a reminder of Satan, one of God's first angels, but he got kicked out of heaven for his sly and wicked ways and is now the joker of eternal hell.

The Queen stands for the Virgin Mary.

The King stands for Jesus, for he is the King of all kings.

When I count the dots on all the cards, I come up with 365 total, one for every day of the year.

There are a total of 52 cards in a deck; each is a week - 52 weeks in a year.

The four suits represent the four seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter.

Each suit has thirteen cards -- there are exactly thirteen weeks in a quarter.

So when I want to talk to God and thank Him, I just pull out this old deck of cards and they remind me of all that I have to be thankful for.'
The sergeant just stood there. After a minute, with tears in his eyes and pain in his heart, he said, 'Soldier, can I borrow that deck of cards?'

Please let this be a reminder and take time to pray for all of our soldiers who are being sent away, putting their lives on the line fighting for US.

Prayer for the Military.

Please keep the wheel rolling. It will only take a few seconds of your time, but it'll be worth it to read on...

Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands.

Protect them.

Bless them and their families.

I ask this in the name of Jesus, our Lord and Savior.

Amen.

When you read this, please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our servicemen and women all around the world.

There is nothing attached, but this can be very powerful.

Of all the gifts you could give a Soldier, prayer is the very best one.

Do not stop the wheel, please -- just send this on.

Add this to your profile if you think it's funny:

Father:"You’re in big trouble, Miss!"

Child: "I didn’t do anything!"

Father: "YOU KICKED HIM!!"

Child: "It was an accident!"

Father:"In the face...?"

Child: "My foot slipped..."

Father: "Five times?!"

Child: ...

THINGS YOU NEVER WANT TO HEAR WHILE UNDERGOING SURGERY:

1. "Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy."

2. "Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop."

3. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness!"

4. "Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!"

5. "Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?"

6. "Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingy."

7. "Oh no! I just lost my Rolex."

8. "Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?"

9. "Damn, there go the lights again..."

10. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them."

11. "What do you mean you want a divorce?"

12. "Ooooops!"

Your BOY side-

You love hoodies.

You love jeans.

Dogs are better than cats.

It's hilarious when people get hurt.

You've played with/against boys on a team.

Shopping is torture.

Sad movies suck.

You own/ed an X-Box.

Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.

At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.

You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.

You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.

You watch sports on TV.

gory movies are cool

You go to your dad for advice.

You own like a trillion baseball caps.

You like going to high school football games.

You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.

Baggy pants are cool to wear

It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.

Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.

You love to go crazy and not care what people think.

Sports are fun.

Talk with food in your mouth.

Sleep with your socks on at night

Total: 14

Your GIRL side-

You wear lip gloss/stick. (chapped lips v.v AND I ALWAYS FORGET TO PUT IT ON DAMMIT.)

You love to shop.

You wear eyeliner.

You wear the color pink.

Go to your mom for advice.

You consider cheerleading a sport

You hate wearing the color black

You like hanging out at the mall.

You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.

You like wearing jewelry.

Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe (I've had only two in my entire life. And the rest are shorts. HA.)

Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.

you don't like the movie Star Wars.

You were/are in gymnast

It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.

You smile a lot more than you should.

You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.

You care about what you look like.

You like wearing dresses when you can.

You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.

You love the movies.

Used to play with dolls as little kid.

Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.

Like being the star of every thing.

Total: 0

HA! Wow, that's awesome. As I said at the top, I'm a guy. :3 Sweet.

Power Test

.:FIRE:.

You have a short temper.
You often act on your emotions without thinking first.
You are very competitive.
You like to play with fire.
You are not a strong swimmer or you can't swim at all.
You prefer warm weather over cold weather.
You often lose control over yourself.
You can be quite reckless.
You sometimes hurt people without realizing it.
People have often called you insane.

Score: 7

.:WATER:.
You have a calm, laid-back personality.
You like to go to the beach.
You rarely get angry.
When you do get angry, you know how to control it.
You think before you act.
You are good at breaking up fights.
You are a good swimmer.
You like the rain.
You can stay calm in stressful situations.
You are very generous.

Score: 7

.:EARTH:.
You are physically strong.
You have a close connection with nature.
You don't mind getting dirty.
You form strong opinions on issues that concern you.
You could easily survive in the wild.
You care about the environment.
You can easily focus on your work without getting distracted.
You rarely get depressed.
You aren't afraid of anything.
You prefer to have a strict set of rules.

Score: 3

.:AIR:.
You have a free spirit.
You hate rules.
You prefer to be out in the open rather than in small, enclosed spaces.
You hate to be restrained.
You are very independent and outgoing.
You are quite intelligent.
You tend to be impatient.
You are easily distracted.
You can sometimes be hyperactive and/or annoying.
You wish you could fly.

Score: 5

.:DARKNESS:.
You spend most of your time alone.
You prefer nighttime over daytime.
You like creepy things.
You like to play tricks on people.
Black is your favorite color.
You prefer the villains over the heroes in movies, TV shows, video games, etc.
You don't talk much.
You don't mind watching scary movies.
You love to break the rules.

Score: 3

.:LIGHT:.
You are very polite.
You are spiritual.
When someone is in trouble, you never hesitate to help them.
You believe everything you see or hear.
You are afraid of the dark.
You hate violence.
You hope for world peace.
You are generally a happy person.
Everyone loves to be around you.
You always follow the rules.

Score: 0

Final Verdict: Tie [Fire, Water]

If you ever bit someone so hard that they bled copy and paste this on your profile

if you ever had a pet wolf copy and paste this on your profile (Not really a pet, but he's a good friend of mine...)

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you've been on the computer for hours on end and read numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: danyan, zElDaPhAnToM-bLiNdBaNdIt-RaVeN, Firehawk, Rainfire, Snowfur, Firestar's Gal, Ravenstar-of-ShodowClan, HeartBeatFailure-x, animatedrose, Leafeonlover, MitzvahRose, Kayla Edwards, Zelda maniac, Shadow Heroine of Time, CelticIrishSwordswoman, hunter049

If you can control water, paste this onto your profile.

If you want to copy this to your profile, you know what to do.

If you or your best friend is insane copy this into your profile.

If you've talked to a shadow, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book or movie or TV show and slap some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever wondered what you're like in a parallel universe, put this on your profile.

If you like beef jerky, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever killed a monster with a sword, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for something to copy and paste, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're the type of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy and paste this into your profile.

Copy and paste this to your profile if you know a book character that just HAS to exist.

If you love rain, paste this on your profile

If Fanfiction to you is what Facebook is to other people, copy and paste this into your profile.

98% of authors confuse "you're" and "your." If you're one of the 2% who knows how to tell them apart, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an exceedingly long profile because of copy-and-paste items, copy and paste this into your profile to make it even longer.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, kailover 2006, Iluvbeyblade, Lamanth, AnimeGirl329, Kathleen-chan, Life is a Highway66, moviemanic122893, Ham-Kelly- now Chibi Corn Chip, DolphinInsomniac 15, Cosplay Chan, Umbreon Mastah, Mind Seeker, Dewdrop13, Medalis, Starrgrl24, The Great Mikey Weston, Ceu Praca, Hasenpfeffer, Shadow Heroine of Time, CelticIrishSwordswoman, hunter049

If you've ever copied something from someone else's profile, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're anti-social sometimes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are guilty of doing a British, Irish, Australian, Southern accent or Elvis impression, copy this in your profile.

If you like reading fanfics, copy and paste this.

If you and your friends have nicknames, titles, or anything else for each other copy this to your profile.

If you fix typos in copy and pastes, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If sometimes your fanfics seem to write themselves, copy this into your profile.

If you think it's stupid that girls are associated with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever written stuff on your car windows when they're covered in condensation, copy this to your profile.

If you read your own stories or profile just for the heck of it, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever stopped what you were doing to do something else and totally forgot what it was, copy this into your profile.

It is said that dying is bad for your health...if you agree copy and paste this to your profile.

99.5 percent of teenagers and kids have a Facebook and are literally addicted, if you are the 0.5 who thinks Facebook is a dumb way to make friends, relationships, etc. post this onto your profile.

If you believe in heaven, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Oh man, that's the only time I have to dry my hair...)

On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions: "Put on fork and eat." (Oh my God...)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (Shoplifters are having fun with the prizes, I'm sure.)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (And... that is...?)

On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (Wait... that's only a suggestion...)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box, of course) Do not turn upside down. (Okay... oh, wait a minute.)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (...I've got nothin'.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (Hmm... I don't know about this one. Let's experiment.)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery after using medication. (Yes, we will have to tell little Billy to stop driving that wrecker after he uses these.)

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (Why else would I take sleeping medicine?)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (Alright! Who's counterfeiting fake bacon, now?!)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (...Oops... Mahbad.)

On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (So I can't use these in tents?)

On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Shit, there were some people I would've liked to process right now...)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (They're making it so obvious they're not only advertising it, they're also putting it in the fine print!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (Alright, I wanna know who got paid to type that out...)

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (...Has this been happening often somewhere?)

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (...I've still got nothin'.)