Young Tom Riddle watches Dumbledore set his wardrobe on fire and thinks it's the coolest thing ever. From that point on, Tom only wishes to become a man as great as his Professor. Dumbledore really, really doesn't know how to deal with the little psycho kid following him around.

Tom Riddle escapes at the end of Chamber of Secrets, and is quite surprised to find that nothing about the future is as he ever thought it would be. Soon, Tom finds himself on a globe-spanning quest to follow the path his forebear blazed and perhaps, at the end, to put a stop to him once and for all.

The houses of Hogwarts are growing stagnant, and a certain sentient Hat is dismayed over this turn of events. It decides to take matters into its own hands, taking advantage of several obscure rules to sort students where the Hat wants them, not where heredity or their own desires want them to be. The result? A mess that gradually pulls the student body into utter chaos.

Lavender takes one step forward and – just like the snap of a finger, the blink of an eye, the drop of a pebble – Hogwarts is left behind. There's no jump, no flashes of light, no whirlwinds of disconnected images. Just one little step; behind stood her war and in front stands 1947. "Huh," she says to herself, "didn't see this in the tea leaves."

Hermione Granger was born a Parselmouth. She arrives at Hogwarts with less trust in authority (after all, muggle science somehow missed snake sentience), and a mission to prove snakes are people too. And Goblins. And Acromantulas. And… oh Merlin. Hogwarts isn't prepared for this, the Wizarding World isn't prepared for this, and Voldemort is *especially* not prepared for this.

There's still a lot to explore and experience in a world full of magic even if you never become a main character. In Hufflepuff house, you'll make friendships that will last a lifetime. Also, we have a table of infinite snacks. Gen/Friendship. First Year Complete.

As the unwitting personification of Death, reality exists to Lily through the veil of a backstage curtain, a transient stage show performed by actors who take their roles only too seriously. But as the Girl-Who-Lived, Lily's role to play is the most important of all, and come hell or high water play it she will, regardless of how awful Wizard Lenin seems to think she is at her job.

Magically talented, Slytherin fem!Harry. Years 1-3 of Victoria Potter's adventures at Hogwarts, with a strong focus on magic, friendship, and boarding school life. Mostly canonical world but avoids rehash of canon plotlines. No bashing, no kid politicians, no 11-year-old romances. First Year complete as of chapter 12.

A freak accident with Arthur's enchanted Ford Anglia causes a minor explosion and a major change in the Weasley household. With Arthur in a coma and Molly having passed away, Bill and Charlie can't afford to quit their jobs and must support the family from afar. Thus, it falls to Percy to handle the day-to-day, even if he's not sure that he can.

In which Harry Potter learns that even an unbroken soul is not immutable, and that everything has a price. The price of love is loss; the price of knowledge is understanding; the price of life is death; and the price of mastering Death...is far more than he ever wanted to pay. A continuation of Harry Potter and the Accidental Horcrux.

One-shot. In an alternate history where the Blitz lasted a few months longer in London, the young Tom Riddle's life takes a very different turn.

So Snape's Patronus is a doe because he's in love with Lily, whose Patronus is a doe because she's in love with James, whose Patronus is a stag... Er, wait a moment, what was that again?

When Voldemort died at the Battle of Hogwarts, nothing had prepared him to reawaken as Tom Riddle circa 1943, rid of his madness but left with a gnawing sense of defeat. Things may have gone wrong the first time around, but Tom vowed not to let the course of history run unchanged. He could do better, and this time... no one would stop him.

Magic is a strange and uncontrollable beast, one small thing changes and who knows what can result. Actually, I do. Madness. Complete, utter, and hilarious madness. Everything that can go wrong with Voldemort's Resurrection. Crack. One-shot.

Canon Divergence from HBP. When Harry fails to save Ron's life in Slughorn's office, he and Hermione are thrust into a search for answers. But the path is thornier than either of them could have possibly imagined.

Harry Potter is screwed. He had no idea that he would find a handsome man in his bed when he wakes up; already late for his first day at St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies as a trainee. He had no idea that his mom's ex would have an axe to grind and that the handsome man in his bed that morning was his boss, Tom Riddle, Head of Spell Damage. Like I said, Harry is screwed.

The problem: muggleborns are heavily discriminated against, Voldemort has this terrible habit of killing them whenever he gets the chance, and things aren't getting any better. The solution? Well, find safety in numbers - and if the numbers don't exist yet, find a way to make them - and never mind if you knock the wizarding world on its head on the way.

The first time Harry became a snake slithering through a forest, he thought he was dreaming. But he soon realised that in fact he was switching bodies with a magic snake. A very special snake who swiftly became his childhood friend – for when he came back to Privet Drive after body-swapping things were always better for him. Harry & Voldemort friendship, pre-Hogwarts, Dark!Harry.

Sequel to "Hot for Teacher"! Draco and Hermione embark on the next adventure of their lives together. They swiftly find that falling in love might be simple, but relationships are tricky. Through their friendships, insecurities, and love for each other, they learn what it means to be someone's Forever.

The gang hotboxes the Prefects' baths.

The Dark Lord lingers. Severus spirals. Did Harry Potter ever truly exist at all? (OotP AU. Go inside the mind of Severus Snape as he tackles several beguiling mysteries, and risks everything he holds dear.) COMPLETE.

Hermione makes new friends at Hogwarts – and one lifelong enemy – with her newfound love for proper skin and hair care. The wizarding world will be changed forever! A silly idea turned serious, and dedicated to those who skim read the title of my fic "Hermione Granger, Demonologist" a bit too fast. Hermione POV, humour, no pairings, complete.

Gen, AU. In a world where Neville is the Boy-Who-Lived, Harry still grows up with the Dursleys, but he learns to be more private about what matters to him. When McGonagall comes to give him his letter, she also unwittingly gives Harry both a new quest and a new passion: Transfiguration. Mentor Minerva fic. Rated for violence. COMPLETE.

AU. When Albus Dumbledore visits Wool's Orphanage and sees the terror and rage in Tom Riddle, he decides he cannot leave the boy without a mentor. On the one hand, he may never make a Light wizard of him; on the other hand, he will keep him from going down the path of the Dark. Twoshot. COMPLETE.

Albus Dumbledore's actions set off a chain reaction that affects the entire wizarding world.

Pre-Philosopher's Stone AU: In which fourteen-year-old Percy Weasley is very stressed, does not get enough sleep, and accidentally and unknowingly saves the Wizarding World because of bad aim.

Draco is a single dad trying to raise a teenager. Little does he know that his son has a crush on his own childhood nemisis who has taken up the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts. Draco tries to juggle parenthood, awkward situations, and his own budding interest in Hermione Granger. WINNER Best Comedy, Summer 2017 Enchanted Awards.

Dudley's training makes a difference.

Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Delphini Riddle is self-taught; things can be different.

Oliver has one last shot at winning the Quidditch Cup before he leaves Hogwarts, and he's willing to do anything to make sure he does. No, really, anything. Absolutely anything. Oh dear...

My take on the manipulative Dumbledore stories - from Dumbledore's point of view. Written late at night, not proof-read. Will probably go over it later, if people think it's worth a tidy-up.

We all know Harry's story during this time, but did you know that his cousin Dudley also played a part in the war against Voldemort? Find out what happened to the Dudley and his family after they left Privet Drive to go into hiding.

Ginny persuades Harry to attend Dudley's wedding. Unfortunately, both of them forgot that Aunt Marge would also be attending. Winner of Mugglenet's Quicksilver Quill Awards 2016, Best General (One-shot).

AU. When Lily died, Snape removed his heart and replaced it with a steel trap. But rescuing her daughter from the Dursleys in the summer of '92 is the first step on a long road to discovering this is less true than he'd thought. A girl!Harry story, covering CoS - GoF. Future Snape/Harriet. Sequel "No Journey's End" (Ootp - DH) is now posting.

The Weasley twins send a ferret to Draco Malfoy on his birthday for one last laugh. It might be the weirdest gift he'll ever receive, but it could also be the best. Oneshot.

For a thousand years the Sorting Hat has put students where they fit best. Only a handful of times throughout history has it ever been said the Hat picked wrongly. In the year of 1991, that's the only thing people were saying. On the one-thousandth-and-one year of Hogwarts, the Sorting Hat decided to change things around. Pity it didn't tell anyone beforehand.

Harry has just begun his showdown with Evil!Dumbledore. Having shouted the various crimes perpetrated against him, he is unprepared for how the rest of the confrontation goes. ONESHOT

On a cold autumn night, a dark-haired young man wakes his family to take them on an adventure. Winner of Mugglenet's Quicksilver Quill Awards 2016, Best Romance (One-shot).

'"Want to grab seats together?" Parvati smiles. "Definitely."' And that's how it all begins. A different, although technically canon-compliant, take on Lavender's years at Hogwarts. Femslash. Rated T for language.

AU Start to Sixth Year. What do you do to stop a genocidal dark wizard? Try appeasement. If it sinks your entire economy, well... That just makes things more interesting.

Voldemort persuades Harry to assist him in a war against unspeakable evil. Hermione gains a second father, and the Gryffindor boys discover that Animagus transformations are as hard as they sound. Meanwhile, the enigmatic, murderous Marionette Man unleashes destruction on the wizarding world. An AU fifth year.

A good friend will help you move. Your Best Friend will help you turn your new home into a death trap for Voldemort.

"Ravenclaw!" the Sorting Hat shouts. Tom Riddle vanishes from history, and history… vanishes from Tom Riddle.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Monsters exist in ordinary people. Ordinary people like Neville Longbottom. Warnings for very AU, dark! Neville, torture, and character death.

There's a reason that adults don't usually play hide and seek - especially when they are nothing more than overgrown children.

The wand chooses the wizard. And some wands fancy themselves insult comics.

This is an AU look at what might have happened the day after the Twins left the school during OOTP if Umbridge had had a reason to question Hermione as she did Harry. Since wizards don't understand anything about the internet, or computers or gamergirls, it's a classic example of what you don't know can hurt you. Rated T for ... well just because. AU Harmony. H/Hr

Voldemort is having a bad day. A very bad day.

[Oneshot] Originally posted to the Bring Back the Bastard fest at the Deeply Horrible comm on LJ. For margi lynn's prompt: "During the first war, Snape pulled shifts at St. Mungo's to make up for their overwork. Most of the time he does help the healers. But what about the times he doesn't? Why those people?"

Dedicated to my friends in the Teachers' Lounge. Lord Voldemort's attempt to possess the soul of Ginny Weasley was successful, but his triumph was not without consequence. Find out how our favorite arch-villain deals with the pitfalls and pratfalls, the laughter, loss and love of a teenage girl's life at Hogwarts.

Harry watched his friend's abusive marriage end in tragedy, powerless to stop it.

Consider the curiously humanoid mandrake root, or mandragora. It is hideously ugly, deadly dangerous, and a powerful restorative. Why would anything else matter? * * A tale of horror. Please review. * *

Privet Drive is home to many secrets, many lies... And many sexually frustrated women. As Harry Potter soon finds out. AU Fifth Year, HP/HG/NT/Various, rated for general naughtiness. R&R

Xenophilius Lovegood always thought his wife was insane. But then he himself began to hear the singing of the Crumple-Horned Snorkack...

"Have you found out how to get past that beast of Hagrid's yet?" ...Snape kicks Harry out of 'Remedial Potions', but as we know from The Philosopher's Stone, there is another Occlumens in the school good enough to keep out the Dark Lord. Stupid oneshot.

Nineteen years ago, Harry Potter put paid to Voldemort at Hogwarts; now it's nineteen years later and, as the diesels hammer on, a bushy-haired girl is still searching for The-Boy-Who-Walked-Away... Oneshot, Deadliest Catch crossover.

What might have happened between Tom Riddle, Amy Benson, and Dennis Bishop in that cave by the sea all those years ago.

An expansion of Cold Cases. A genetic test reveals a dark secret from the First War.

1957 A tree in Albania, she said. Straightforward enough, right? Not if someone else got there first. Tom's journey in acquiring the vessel for his fifth Horcrux just got that much trickier. An exploration of White Magic. Canon-compliant. Longshot. OC

First year: "Celebrities," Harry said. "Fame makes them mad. I take it the wizarding world doesn't really have them, then?" Draco and Ron exchanged glances. "No, not really." AU, assorted oneshots and snippets.

A little Gothic story for Halloween. Yes, it's a Harry Potter story - just read to the end!

Harry recalls that a pale little girl called Sally-Anne was sorted into Hufflepuff during his first year, but no one else remembers her. Was there really a Sally-Anne? Harry and Hermione set out to solve the chilling mystery of the lost Hogwarts student.

An obsession that destroys everything it touches.

Harry has some rather questionable parenting methods. And he may or may not be responsible for Draco Malfoy's receding hairline. NextGen crackfic oneshot!

After the war, Neville and Harry meet up to mock people and get drunk. It's a good life. Post-DH oneshot crackfic.

Endlessly, without limit, forever. [Hyde x Jekyll] [Violence] [Non-con] [Complete]

When Draco fears he is being stalked by a creature no one’s ever heard of, he goes to the only person in the world who might believe him. DracoLuna.

It just keeps growing... and growing... and growing...

Full title: How the Brazilian Boa Constrictor Did Not Help Harry Potter Defeat Voldemort. A crackfic in which Hermione's given Harry an idea about defeating Voldemort but the boa constrictor, an essential part of the plan, has other ideas.

A VERY long Tuesday in the life of Minerva McGonagall. With rampant Umbridgeitis, uncooperative Slytherins, Ministry interventions, an absent Dumbledore and a schoolwide shortage of Hot Cocoa, it’s a wonder she’s as nice as she is.

Pregnant with Morfin's child, Merope longs to escape to a life with Tom, and a better world for the child she hopes will be a girl.

ONE SHOT. Lord Voldemort announces that he's going to celebrate his birthday with Sugar Quills, PintheBeakontheHippogriff, and Death Eaters in hula skirts. Has he finally lost his mind?

Hagrid has been forbidden to teach any creature of higher classification than XX: harmless, may be domesticated. So nothing can possibly go wrong in his classes now - right? Augureys and Clabberts and Bowtruckles, oh my, not to mention Redneck Wizards.

What Crabbe and Goyle talk about when no one is around.