I was thinking about deleting all of the sh'te i wrote below but i realise i spent 2 hours of my precious life at the youngyoung age of 12 (3 1/2, in mental terms) and i might just regret it in 340 years when i need to be reminded of what an youngyoung idiot i was at the youngyoung age of 12. hopefully by that time i will be dead, but i'll leave the rubbish i wrote just in case.

So yes, my name is Kess. That much is true. And I did go through an orlando bloom phase just like thousands of otherstupid youngyoung people at the time. And I still believe orlando bloom can not act particularly well, though he has improved (well come on, he's had a few more years to practise in front of a mirror). I still drink coffee, though due to sleep deprivation it gets stronger every morning.

Reading my pitiful excuses for stories i realise i was a cr'p writer and probably always will be. However, like orlando, i have had years of practise in front of a mirror since and am now (i hope) remotely competent. Some things that were meant to be kept INSIDE my head somehow leaked out onto this site. Due to the embarrassment caused to me by a youngyoung 12-year-old me, i am ashamed ~ to be seen on this site, metaphorically or not. So, it is my duty today to announce that i will no longer be writing etc under the alias of Kess. This name has done me well and wil forever have a speicial place in my heart. Farewell Kess! May we meet again when I'm three hundred and sixty something and need reminding of what a berk you made me.

What, you didn't really believe my name was Kess?

But never fear! For I will be back, with a new name... Afterthought!

Or Afterthougthless in this case as someone on this site has already nicked my first choice of name. I also have a new name to match in the form of Afterthought@hotmail.co.uk I'll bet the same person stole the dot com address.

I can't spell speicial. That's something I should learn before I start writing again.

Stop laughing Tanya.

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Hi mi name is Kess. Ok, ok, so u want 2 know more about me... Here goes... Name:Kess Pen name: Elven_Elements (NOT Elven-Elements - ff.net mistake...) Bday: Queens Jubilee (Just 2 confuse u) Starsign: Gemini Hair: Brunette, blonde brain (ie Malteaser) Eyes: Jacks eyes (Though theres no WAY I can look as good as him w/ eye liner on.) Fav. Actors: 1.ORLI BLOOM - The cutest actor EVA (Ok, ok, orli bloom's da cutest but, yes, I admit, J.D is da better actor.sobs) 2.Micheal Vartan - who is DAMN cute in Alias, the best tv series in da WORLD! 3.Viggo Mortenson - beautiful eyes and the ultimute actor to play Aragorn in Lord of the rings.(Well... he wouldn't play Aragorn in Pirates of the Caribbean, would he?) 4.Johnny Depp - THE onli guy who can look sexy with eye liner on! (Sorry Johnny, ur onli no.4 on mi list, but thats onli bcos i don't like u wen u smile - ur so cute wen ur moody!) Fav. Actresses: 1.Jennifer Garner - Sydney Bristow in Alias, God She kicks ass! And I think she's the best actress. There are loads of others I like, but can't be bothered to write them all down. Fav. films: 1. Lord of the Ring, Return of the King 2. Lord of the Ring, The Two Towers 3. Pirates of the Caribbean 4. Rollerball 5. Fellowship of the Ring 6. Oceans Eleven Fav. tv series: 1. Alias 2. Ed 3. Smallville 4. Buffy(completeli finished! No - wots me best friend gonna talk bout 4 da nxt 6 weeks!) 5. Friends (Another one completely finished... NOOOO!) Fav. Books: 1. Lord of the Ring: Return of the King 2. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers 3. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring 4. Fire Bringer/ The Sight 5. The Stainless Steel Rat Series (God I'm sad) 6. The Wind Singer Trilogy Dido ROX. As does rhcp. Random habits: 1.I hav 2 hav coffee first thing in the morning. Consequences If i do: im hyper and bouncing off the walls 4 da rst of da day. U'll probably have 2 pull me down from the ceilin 2 talk 2 me Consequences if i don't: I walk round like a zombie for da rest of da day sayin: Coffee... Coffee... 2. I say random lines from films in the middle of school (Trust me, i get alot of strange looks in my french lesson from shoutin randomly: Argh! Le clapotage, le Clapotage, la Boucle, la Boucle! 3. I go thru random phrases of speaking other random languages. (Real ones.) 4. Sometimes i say 'yus, yus' @ da beginin of each line in mi reviews. My preciousss... 5. i sumtimes say stuf like My Precious @ random times. 6. i usually put in toooooo many letterrrs. 7. Yus, I iz a veeeeerrrrrry random prrrrrrson BTW I'll usually write assbb on the bottom of emails... anything. It stands for something that means See you... though I haven't quite worked out how. P.S If u eva read ne of mi stories please, pleas, please review them -i'll take flames. P.P.S I am the biggest LotR movie fan there is, not books. assbb! ~Kess ;P~ I did have another story - What Happens When I Drink Too Much Coffee. I was expecting just about everyone to flame me because it was mindless rubbish and... other stuff. But for some strange reason that I haven't worked out yet people actually liked it and I got quite a big response. Anyway, ff.net took it down the next day, so it's not up. Then, I did break just about every rule they have. O well - entertaining at first. But anyway, that's why it's not up anymore. Sorry! But I don't want to get kicked out of this site. On another note, because of that story and too much coffee, I can't upload anything until August. Which sucks, but hey. I'll try to write more chapters for both my main stories and upload them before i go abroad. Sorry!