If you have ever read my stoy Blanket, I ask you to please reread it now that I have fixed the spacing of the words ...leaving a reveiw would be nice as well...

If anyone wants to contibute to my quote list just send me a email with the quote...thanks for stoping by.

Obedintly yours, BlackMoon13

"Please explain the scientific nature of 'The Whammy'"
Dana Scully, "The X-Files"

"If, by my life or death, I can protect you, I swear I will."
Aragorn, son of Arathorn, "The Fellowship of the Rings"

"There are always two roads in life; two choices. One is easy. And it's only reward is that it is easy."
Unknown

"When you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."
Sherlock Holmes

"I shall call it 'Squishie,' and it shall be mine and it shall be my squishie!!"
Dory, "Finding Nemo"

"In Times of trouble, you will remember not the words of your enemeys, but the silence of your freinds."
Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Hang on to your diepies, babies!"
Tommy Pickles, dates unknown

"Help, Help, I'm being Repressed!!"
That pesant dude from the begining of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"

"Everyone needs something to believe in. I believe I will have another piece of Chocolate."
W.C. Fondant

"Never Underestimate the power of Stupid People in Large Numbers!

"Duct Tape may hold the world together, but Nitro Glyceryn will solve all the worlds problems!"
Me Again.

"No Shit, Sherlock!"
Me yet again.

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that proves you tried!"
Oh, look at all the things I said!

"Chess Life... isn't that redundant?"
Who Knows?

"I have wrought my simple plan/ If I give one hour of joy/ To the boy who's half a man/ Or the man who's half a boy."
Not Me! Wow... Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Lost World

"The great tragedy of science - the slaying of a beautiful hypothosis by an ugly fact"
- Thomas Henry Huxley

"The battle of the sexes will never be won. Too much fraternizing with the enemy."
-Someone, but I don't know who. Not me, tho. ;(

"If all else fails, hit it with a stick."

"Beware the Fury of a Patent Man"
Not sure; it's on one of my teacher's walls. Cool, tho.

"To the world, you are just one person. But to one person, you are the world."
Um... I've had that stuck in my head all day, but I forget where I heard it.

There is no magical alternative to an Uzi. No protection from it, either.
- H.P. fanfic

"I used to rule the world. I was a God's God. I existed on Seven Planes of Being at Once. Now, I am on a rooftop, with a man who drinks too much whiskey and calls me a smurf."
Fred-That-Was, from Angel.

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
Anonymous

Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
-Terry Pratchett

Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery.
-William Shakespeare

Ah, the Cleverness of Me!
Peter Pan

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
Dave Barry

The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The hypothalamus controls the "Four F's":

1.fighting;
2.fleeing;
3.feeding; and
4.mating.
Psychology professor in
neuropsychology intro course

What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.
Mark Twain

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
A. Whitney Brown

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
- point 2 whoever can guess who said this really easy quote _

Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove.
Ashleigh Brilliant

Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?
- Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
- Advising the President.
- Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.
David Letterman

Only the wisest and the stupidest of men never change.
-Confucius

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Without order nothing can exist - without chaos nothing can evolve.

Nature abhors a hero. For one thing, he violates the law of conservation of energy. For another, how can it be the survival of the fittest when the fittest keeps putting himself in situations where he is most likely to be creamed?
-Solomon Short

Conquest is easy. Control is not.
-Kirk, "Mirror, Mirror"
stardate unknown

History tends to exaggerate.
-Col. Green
"The Savage Curtain"
stardate 5906.4

Men of peace usually are brave.
-Spock
"The Savage Curtain"
stardate 5906.5

There's no honorable way to kill, no gentle way to destroy. There is nothing good in war. Except its ending.
-Abraham Lincoln
"The Savage Curtain"
stardate 5906.5

"Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."
Chinese Proverb

"Beauty is only skin deep, and the world is full of thin skinned people."
Richard Armour

"If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver.

Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time -- a tremendous whack."
Winston Churchill

"And the Lord spoke, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."
Monty Python, Monty Python and the Holy Grail

I find your lack of faith disturbing.
Lord Vader

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?
Mae West

"Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
one for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
in the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

One Ring to rule them all,
one Ring to find them,
one Ring to bring them all
and in the darkness bind them
in the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie."
"Lord of the Rings", J.R.R. Tolkien

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

"I have seen the universe yawning
Where the black planets roll without aim -
Where they roll in their horror unheeded,
Without knowledge or luster or name."
Cthulhu Mythos

A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
Nethack

"Still round the corner there may wait, a new road or a secret gate."
J.R.R. Tolkien

Blood is thicker than water, and much tastier.
Anonymous vampire

"The Lords of Chaos are
the enemies of Logic,
the jugglers of Truth,
the molders of Beauty"
Michael Moorcock, The Knight of the Swords

I am the angel of death. The time of purification is at hand.
- Can’t you see Eric saying something like that? Don’t no who really said this

EASY TO INSTALL = Difficult to install, but instruction manual has pictures.

Basically, Doom is a (violent) 3D arcade game where you run around in a maze and kill things with shotguns and chainsaws... After you get tired of killing things, you can run it over a network and kill things together with your friends. After you get tired of that, you can kill your friends.
Frequently Asked Questions: Doom

The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.
William Clayton

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Earl Wilson

Take your dying with some seriousness, however. Laughing on the way to your execution is not generally understood by less advanced life forms, and they'll call you crazy.
Messiah's Handbook: Reminders for the Advanced Soul

What we know is not much. What we don't know is enormous.
Pierre Simon de Laplace, french astronomer

Oh Lord, forgive the misprints!
Andrew Bradford, american book-publisher- “Oh Meg...”

Don't disarrange my circles!
Last words of Archimedes sp?

The grass is always greener on the other side -- but that's because they use more manure.
Schapiro's Explanation

In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty; but you can get everything dirty without getting anything clean.

When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.
Rule of Feline Frustration

No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats -- approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less.
Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenius. - _; he he he...

The other line always moves faster.
Etorre's Observation- It’s true!

After all is said and done, a hell lot of a lot more is said than done.

People who claim they don't let little things bother them have never slept in a room with a single mosquito.

The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.

Confucius say too much.
Recent Chinese Proverb

He who trains his tongue to quote the learned sages, will be known far and wide as a smart ass.
Howard Kandel

It is generally agreed that "Hello" is an appropriate greeting because if you entered a room and said "Goodbye," it could confuse a lot of people.
Dolph Sharp

Most legislators are so dumb that they couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the heel.

Never settle with words what you can accomplish with a flame thrower.

Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.

Slogan of 105.9, the classic rock radio station in Chicago: "Of all the radio stations in Chicago... we're one of them."

Americans never recognize an idea unless it has white wings or a forked tail.
H.L. Mencken, 1920s – I am an American...and I laugh at the stupidity of myself

The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words.
From an article on the growth
of federal regulations in the
Oct. 24th issue of National Review

"Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much... the wheel, New York, wars, and so on, whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely the dolphins believed themselves to be more intelligent than man for precisely the same reasons."
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair."
Douglas Adams, revealing one of the laws of computers and programming in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the mechanics German, the lovers Italian and it's all organised by the Swiss.
Hell is where the chefs are British, the mechanics French, the lover's Swiss, the police German and it's all organised by the Italians.

If you can not answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names.
Elbert Hubbard

"Time's fun when you're having flies."
Kermit the Frog

You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!
Monty Python's Holy Grail,
a comment on how Arthur got Excalibur

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.
Jay Leno

Beam me up, Scotty. No intelligent life forms down here.

A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block of marble; then you chip away everything that doesn't look like an elephant.

From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Groucho Marx, The Book of Insults

"Of course you found it in the last place you looked. If you hadn't found it you'd still be looking"

Stress: when you wake up screaming only to realize that you weren't asleep

It is now beyond any doubt that cigarettes are the biggest cause of statistics!

"I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called 'brightness,' but it doesn't work."
Gallagher

Now, normally I don't mind vegetarians, but I really hate it when they get all superior and preachy about the evils of eating meat. Once I was on a date with this girl and she was a vegetarian, and she started on my about the steak I was eating. So I looked at her and said, "If you want to only eat vegetables, that's fine with me, but the way I see it, this cow used to be a vegetarian, and look how things turned out for him." Harlan Williams

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Steven Wright

Why doesn't the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?

You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.
Albert Einstein, when asked to describe radio

Lady Nancy Astor, Viscountess: "If you were my husband, Winston, I should flavour your coffee with poison."
Winston Churchill: "If I WERE your husband, madam, I should drink it."
Winston Churchill – OH! Snap!!

I won't have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

I'd like to take advantage of this early opportunity to wish all of you an enjoyable Christmas season and a happy New Year filled with good fortune. Of course I realize this can't happen for everyone. Some of you are going to die next year, and others will be crippled and maimed in accidents, perhaps even completely paralyzed. Still others will be stricken with diseases that can't be cured, or will be horribly scarred in fires. And lets not forget the robberies and rapes - there'll be lots of them. Therefore many of you will not be able to enjoy the happy and fortunate New Year I'm wishing for you. So just try and do the best you can. George Carlin

In a Russian tragedy, everybody dies. In a Russian comedy, everybody dies too...but they die happy.
Barry Farber, in the Journal of Petroleum Technology

You can't run from death forever... but you can make the bastard work for it

The Bible and several other self help or enlightenment books cite the Seven Deadly Sins. They are: pride, greed, lust, envy, wrath, sloth, and gluttony. That pretty much covers everything that we do, that is sinful... or fun for that matter. Dave Mustaine

Jesus said, come forth and recieve eternal life. I came in third and won a toaster

Your oratorical sonorities are too pleonastic to be expeditiously assimilated. OR: 'Too many big words make it hard for people to easily understand you.' Anonymous

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
A English Professor, Ohio University

"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

"The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases. For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question 'How can we eat?' the second by the question 'Why do we eat?' and the third by the question 'Where shall we have lunch?'"
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

They say that drinking kills brain cells, but the way I figure it is that it's like a lion chasing a herd of buffalo. It will only kill the slowest ones first. Norm Petersen

"Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea..."
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"You know, it's at times like this when I'm stuck in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space, that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young."

"Why, what did she say?"

"I don't know, I didn't listen."
Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

"I am the bubble gum that sticks in your hair!"
"I am the ingrown toenail on the foot of crime!"
"I am the itch you cannot reach!"
"I am the paper cut that ruins your day!"
"I am the parking meter that expires while you shop!"
"I am the plot-twist in the 2nd reel!"
"I am the terror that flaps in the night!"
"I am the weirdo who sits next to you on the bus!"
"I am the winged scourge that pecks at your nightmares!"
"I am the wrong number that wakes you at 3 am!"
Darkwing Duck likes a dramatic entrance

I reserve my right to hate you, not because of your skin color or culture, but because you are an idiot. Mike Hutchison

"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."
Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for the Fish

NASA spent 8 years and $12 billion developing a pen that could write in space. It needed to be able to work in zero gravity, at a range of temperatures, and be able to write on any surface. The Russians used a pencil

Diplomacy is telling someone to "Go to Hell" in such a way, they look forward to taking the trip. Model UN Motto

"The first thing to realize about parallel universes... is that they are not parallel. It is also important to realize that they are not, strictly speaking, universes either, but it is easiest if you don't try to realize it until a little later, after you've realized that everything you've realized up to that moment is not true."
Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

"Your chances of getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky and say "Storms suck!".
Johnny Carson

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

SMITE ME OH MIGHTY SMITER!!!!- My fav. line from the movie

I don't have a solution but I admire the problem. – Ill try saying this to my math teacher

A penny saved is ridiculous.

Time flies when you're in a coma

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

"We pray for MacArthur's erection."
Sign erected by Japanese citizens in Tokyo, when
MacArthur was considering a run for President

Don't follow in my footsteps for I walk into walls. Brittany Buzbee

I have tried to see things from your point of view, but no matter how hard I try, or what I do, I just can't get my head that far up my ass. Salvador Ortiz

"Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon."
Graffiti – ROCK ON!!!!

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life celebrate...now!"
Graffiti

Humanity is falling in a downward spiral towards a cesspool of ignorance and simplicity. Bring your floaties.

"It's me and you against the world. So when do we attack?"
Graffiti

"That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting"
Marvin's first ever compliment about anybody, in
Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

THERE'S NO JUSTICE. THERE'S ONLY ME.
Judge Dredd

"With a rubber duck, one's never alone."
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

It's not that life is so short, it's just that your dead for so long

It's unfair to say that men spend their entire lives in pursuit of sex. That's simply not the case. We do, after all, have to eat. Bobo The Red

How boring is life in the Antarctic? People in one group wintering at the South Pole in the 1960s watched the film "Cat Ballou" 87 times. People in another, after tiring of the westerns, Disney features and pornographic films on hand, spliced the movies together into their own production and adopted a vocabulary based on their creation that was so strange that relief crews arriving in the spring could barely understand them.

"If You Only Knew The Power Of The Darkside...
(breathe... kooooff... pschhhh...)"
Darth Vader

You are not thinking. You are merely being logical.
Neils Bohr to Albert Einstein

The biggest argument I have with my friend is which one of us is going to rule Hell when we die. Should I worry that we argue this or that we always end up conceding that I will? Logan Geoffrion

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
Popular Mechanics, forecasting the
relentless march of science in 1949

"If Darwin's theory of evolution was correct, cats would be able to operate a can opener by now."
Larry Wright

I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity. Edgar Allen Poe

I thought there was light at the end of the tunnel, but it was some bastard with a torch carrying more work.

Anyone who uses the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried taking candy from a baby.
Robin Hood

The great film comedian, Charlie Chaplin, once entered a Charlie Chaplin look-a-like contest for a laugh. To his surprise he did not win.

I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next." They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals

Everyone likes to think that in the past everything was so quaint, so charming. Neighbors knew each other. Kids didn't have sex. It's a freakin' fairy-tale. Life sucked then, too. It just sucked without indoor plumbing. Gilmore Girls television series

"Don't ask me questions before eight in the morning, particularly silly ones. I'm grumpy then, and I'll probably make fun of you."

- Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!
- Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober.
Lady Astor and Winston Churchill

I got a dog and named him "Stay". Now, I go "Come here, Stay!". After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all.
Deep Thoughts (Jack Handy)

Suicide hotline, please hold... (sadly, this happened to my friends Aunt...)

If you place a frog in boiling water, it will jump right back out. But if you put the frog in cold water and heat it gradually, it will sit there and slowly roast alive. -My Science Teacher...yes...she really said this...

On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Deep Thoughts

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Garrison

Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun. Matt Groening

'Teenagers are not children. They are, quite simply, Satan's minions, set upon this earth to devise new methods with which they may drive those misguided enough to choose the teaching profession into an early grave.'

Be kind to your children. They choose your nursing home.

"Of course, what happened last week is a complete secret. So, naturally, the entire school knows."
Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter & The Sorcerers Stone

"O, what men dare do! What men may do! What men daily do, not knowing what they do!"

“Each of us, in the journey through mortality, will travel his own Jericho Road. What will be your experience? What will be mine? Will I fail to notice him who has fallen among thieves and requires my help? Will you? Will I be one who sees the injured and hears his plea, yet crosses to the other side? Will you? Or will I be one who sees, who hears, who pauses, and who helps? Will you?”
--Thomas S. Monson

"What you need is sustained outrage… there's too much unthinking respect given to authority."
--Molly Ivins

“Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
“Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
“He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
“The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.”
--Wynstan Hugh Auden, Funeral Blues

Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense regardless of how it turns out."
- Vaclav Havel

"Everywhere in these days people have, in their mockery, ceased to understand that the true security is to be found in social solidarity rather than in isolated individual effort. But this terrible state of affairs must inevitably have an end, and all will suddenly understand how unnaturally they are separated from one another. It will be the spirit of the time, and people will marvel that they have sat so long in darkness without seeing the light... But, until then, we must keep the banner flying. Sometimes even if he has to do it alone, and his conduct seems to be crazy, a man must set an example, and so draw other souls out of their solitude, and spur them to some act of brotherly love, that the great idea may not die."
--Fydor Dostoevsky, "The Brothers Karamozov"

“An old man, going a lone highway,
Came, at the evening, cold and gray,
To a chasm, vast, and deep, and wide,
Through which was flowing a sullen tide.

The old man crossed in the twilight dim;
The sullen stream had no fears for him;
But he turned, when safe on the other side,
And built a bridge to span the tide.

"Old man," said a fellow pilgrim, near,
"You are wasting strength with building here;
Your journey will end with the ending day;
You never again must pass this way;
You have crossed the chasm, deep and wide-
Why build you a bridge at the eventide?"

The builder lifted his old gray head:
"Good friend, in the path I have come," he said,
"There followeth after me today,
A youth, whose feet must pass this way.

This chasm, that has been naught to me,
To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be.
He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;
Good friend, I am building the bridge for him."

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on." Robert Frost

"For a crowd is not company; and faces are but a gallery of pictures; and talk but a tinkling cymbal, where there is no love. " Francis Bacon

"Everyone walks a weary path. Yours is destinied to unravel into threads and who knows where those threads will lead? "

"I don't want to be dead but all beautiful colors bleed to red." Anonymus

"Absolute silence leads to sadness. It is the image of death." Jean Jacques Rousseau

"There can be no real freedom without the freedom to fail." Eric Hoffer

"The end is never as satisfying as the journey." Anonymus.

Marriage...the number one cause of divorce. – t-shirt

I reject your reality and submit my own!!!!!!! – Myth Busters