lilithaniaXD
Hey everyone I'm Lizzie and I'm 15. I'm a country girl from Northern Maine. I love to spend my free time with my friends hanging out, walking, dirtbiking, and fourwheeling among other things. I'm not much of a writer and I'm yet to post a story on fanfiction, but someday I do plan to. I love reading and I have since I was about eight. I love fanfiction because it's a place people can put a spin on some of their favorite stories and let their imaginations run free. I have found some awesome stories on here and I'm sure I'lll find more. : I have entirely too many things copy and pasted onto my profile, but I could care less! :b Month one Mommy, Month Two Mommy, Month Three You know what Mommy, Month Four Mommy, Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy, Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. If you're against abortion, re-post this "Only half the patients go into an abortion clinic come out alive." - Author Unknown Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list.AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, Willowfae, SxcAmethyst, Sia Bakura, Balmung's Angel, Ash2112, XDVanilla, crazypeoplearemypeople, BlueEyedAuthor, SVUCSIWTRDOOLluver, LacytheDemonicDuck, iluvmytv-ugottaproblem, MidniteRoasly, LilithaniaXD 92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off. You say you have enemies? Well done. That means you stood up for something you believed in at some point. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder. Remember: Some people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them You call me a bitch? A bitch is a dog, a dog barks, bark is on a tree, trees are part of nature and all nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment! I'm the girl that can watch hundreds of horror movies without flinching, but then screams at the top of her lungs when the toast pops out of the toaster. Percussive maintenance - the art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again They say true love hides behind every corner: i must be walking in circles! Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them as much If the sky is the limit, then what is space? If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible? Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’? Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa Roses are red, Violets are blue, WARNING: DO NOT follow in my footsteps...I tend to walk into walls and off the occasional cliff. Growing old is mandatory, growing up however... I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me! It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and bitch slap someone. I believe that you should live everyday as if its your last, which is why my room is such a mess. I mean come on who wants to clean their room on their last day?! I used to be normal, then I met the freaks I call friends Sometimes I lie awake at night asking myself what I've done wrong, then the voice in my head says, " This is going to take more then one night..." Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt. Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them. A wise man once said, "Ask a girl." You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft! There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves. They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people... Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible? A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss. Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to. Anything thrown hard enough should hurt Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty, I say, "Are you gonna drink that?" Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already. The trouble with life, is there's no background music. Girls But boys are like wine; They need to have the shit kicked out of them and left be left to mature for a while before they become something you are able to have a meal with. "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."-M. Monroe Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods.. On Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos: On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swann frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children's cough medicine: On Nytol sleep aid: On a Korean kitchen knife: On a string of Christmas lights: On a food processor: On Sainsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a child's Superman costume: Endust duster-"This product is not defined flammable by the consumer products safety commission regulations. However this product can be ignited under certain circumstances"( oh do tell...) Baby oil-"Keep out reach of children."(wait im confused...) Dog food-"new and improved tasting", (who tests it?) Hair coloring-"Do not use as an ice cream topping." (Yummy...) Komatsu Floodlight-"This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark" (Why did I buy it again?) Earplugs-"These earplugs are nontoxic, but they may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe." (Are you sure? Lets experiment ) RCA television remote control-"Not dishwasher safe."Really?) Road sign-"Caution: water on road during rain." (Gasp!) ONE FOR THE GIRLS!!: (1) A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman alive." the woman replies, "I'll miss you..." (2)Dear Lord, (3) Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for (4) Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? Man: Where have you been all my life? Man: why do you wear a bra? you've got nothing to put in there! Woman: you wear pants don't you? More random funny stuff... Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. All the good guys are gay, married or fictional characters in books or movies!:( I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me They sterilize needles for lethal injections The Difference Between Friends and Best Friends Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost Friend: Will help me learn to drive Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away Friend: Will help me up when I fall down Friend: Will bail me out of jail Friend: Will go to a concert with me Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs." Friend: Asks me for my number Friend: Hides me from the cops Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public Friends: Fade MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS: 1. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 2. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. 3. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. 4. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong. 5. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog. 8. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first. 9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer. 10. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. 11. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. 12. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty REMEMBER WHEN .. Found this on St Fnag of Boredom's site and just agreed with it soooo much... Dearly beloved…we gather here to say our goodbyes. Here he lies… Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate and teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. Rest In Peace, my old friend. I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight and Maximum Ride, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle.Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom, OMRD, Cullen In Training, LilithaniaXD You know you live in 2009 when... 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) If you think that not having an IPOD touch is uncool 10.) And if you have an I-Phone 11.) If as soon as you get home you go on fanfiction 12.) And you were too busy to notice number 5. 13.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 14.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 15.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, ect, copy this onto your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile. 98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels. A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?" A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain a best friend takes your and says, "RUN, BITCH RUN!" A friend wipes your tears when your rejected a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it? A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, THAT WAS AWESOME , LETS DO IT AGAIN!! 16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART (I would really like to see the look on people's faces if they saw this... oh wait, I see that look every day from all my friends when I walk into school! the 'you're crazy' look. copy/paste if you get that look too) 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!" Repost this if you laughed... “Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.” If you can do 67.5 divided by 3 in your head, you’re smart. If you can say ‘Irish Wristwatch’ without messing up, you’re crazy.’ "An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctors cute, screw the fruit" Best friends through thick and thin! If you cry, I cry, STEREOTYPES I'm SKINNY so I MUST be anorexic. I'm NOT SKINNY so I MUST be a pig. I'm EMO so I MUST cut my wrists. I'm BLACK so I MUST be athletic. I'm NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun. I'm BLONDE so I MUST be a ditz. I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cats. I'm ASIAN so I MUST be sexy. I'm JEWISH so I MUST be greedy. I'm GAY so I MUST carry AIDS. I'm LESBIAN so I MUST have a sex-tape. I'm ARAB so I MUST be a terrorist. I SPEAK MY MIND so I MUST be a bitch. I'm RELIGIOUS so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world. I don't have a RELIGION so I MUST be evil and have no morals. I'm REPUBLICAN so I MUST not care about poor people. I'm DEMOCRATIC so I MUST not believe in being responsible. I'm LIBERAL so I MUST be gay. I'm SOUTHERN so I MUST be white trash. I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS so I MUST be crazy. I'm a GUY so I MUST only want to get in your pants, I'm IRISH so I MUST have a drinking problem. I'm INDIAN so I MUST own a convention store. I'm NATIVE AMERICAN so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage. I'm a CHEERLEADER so I MUST be a whore. I'm a DANCER so I MUST be a stupid, stuck-up whore. I wear SKIRTS so I MUST be a slut. I'm RICH so I MUST be a conceided snob. I WEAR BLACK so I MUST be a goth or emo. I'm a WHITE GIRL so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. I'm CUBAN so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars. I'm NOT A VIRGIN so I MUST be easy. I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN so I MUST be a home-wreaking whore. I'm a TEENAGE MOM so I MUST be an irresponsible slut. I'm POLISH so I MUST wear my socks with me sandles. I'm ITALIAN so I MUST have a big dick. I'm EGYPTIAN so I MUST be a terrorist. I'm PRETTY so I MUST not be a virgin. I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S so I MUST have no social life. I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS so I MUST be looking for attention. I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention. I'M INTO THEATER AND ART so I MUST be a homosexual. I'm a VEGETARIAN so I MUST be a crazy political activist. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS so I MUST be fucking them all. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS so I MUST be gay. I have BOOBS so I MUST be a hoe. I'm COLOMBIAN so I MUST be a drug-dealer. I WEAR WHAT I WANT so I MUST be a poser. I'm RUSSIAN so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll. I'm GERMAN so I MUST be a nazi. I hang out with GAYS so I MUST be gay too. I'm BRAZILLIAN so I MUST have a big butt. I'm PUERTO RICAN so I MUST look good and be concieded. I'm SALVADORIAN so I MUST be in MS 13 I'm HAWIAN so I MUST be lazy. I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction. I'm STRAIGHT EDGED so I MUST be violent. I'm a FEMALE GAMER so I MUST be ugly...or crazy. I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid. I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot. I'm a GIRL who actually eats lunch so I MUST be fat. I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. I'm ASIAN so I MUST be a nerd that does homework 24/7 I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals. I'm MIXED so I MUST be fucked up. I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist. I'm in a BAND so I MUST be a dork. I'm BLACK so I MUST think Jesus wuz a brotha. I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect. I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black. I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil. I love SHOPPING so I MUST be rich. I'm an OG so I MUST be Mexican. I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty. I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. TIME FOR A MATH LESSON From a strictly mathmatecal viewpoint What makes 100 percent? What does it mean to give MORE than 100 percent? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100 percent? We all have been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over one hundred percent. How about acheiving 103 percent? What makes up 100 percent in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions; If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11= 98 percent and K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5= 96 percent but A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 =100 percent and, B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20= 103 percent and look how far this one will take you, A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7= 118 percent! So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while HARDWORK and KNOWLEDGE will get you close, and ATTITUDE will get you there, its really the BULLSHIT and ASSKISSING that will put you over the top. Here are 25 ways to annoy your parents 1. Follow them around the house everywhere. 2. Moo when they say your name. 3. Pretend to have amnesia. 4. Say everything backwards. 5. Run into walls. 6. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion. 7. Go into their room at 4 in the morning and say "Good Morning Sunshine!" 8. Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder. 9. Say all of the words in a film. 10. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!" 11. Wear a sticker that says "I'm a retard!" 12. Talk to a pen. 13. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to ALL the time. 14. Try and climb the wall. 15. In public yell "NO MUM I WILL NOT SNOG YOU!" 16. Put pegs on your nose and eyes. 17. Switch the light button on and off for awhile. Then say "Oh...I get it!" 18. Eat your hair. 19. Hold their hand and whisper to them "I see dead people." 20. When you shower or bath yell "I'm drowning!" 21. At everything they say yell "LIAR!" 22. Pretend to be a phone. 23. Try to swim in the floor. 24. Tap on their door all night 25. When they say a word from a song you know burst into that song things to annoy your parents even more: 1. take their car keys and put them somewhere else, and when they ask you about it, say "maybe a ghost took it" 2. get a pinata made to look like them 3. when they ask you what their doing, say "existing" 4. whenever they tell you something say "oh my god, no way" 5. when they say the name of a store, say their slogan or sing their song. 6. pretened to vaccum with your imaginary vaccum (don't forget to make noises) 7. when the phone rings, yell at it " HELLO? HELLO? I CAN HEAR YOU! HELLO? 8. put a mouse trap infront of the computer mouse. 9. ask your parent a question, then the next day ask it again, and the next day, etc. until you forget 10. when they yell at you, tell them to use their inside voice. 11. have all of your friends call you in one night. (it really works. i tried this one!! X3) 12. wear a turtle neck and follo them around saying "turtle turtle" 13. speak to them in another language (if you don't know any, either make one up, or use baka(idiot)) 14. wear a bucket on your head (i know someone who did it and it works really well) 15. sing everything you say 16. draw a face on a balloon and call it wilson and carry it around, constantly talking to it. 17. fall in love with a wine bottle... and have a wedding... 18. when their friends come over pretend to be drunk with your wine bottle spouse Best friends are the people that know all about and still put up with you! A good friend bails you out of jail. A great friend is sitting there next to you saying 'Man, that was fun!' (or) 'we screwed up didn't we?' A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you, but i best friend will go up to him and say "it's because your gay, isn't it?" A good friend helps you up when you fall, but a best friend laughs, and trips you again. We're not sarcastic-we're hilarious We're not annoying-we're just cooler than you We're not mean-we just don't like you We're not obsessed-we're just best friends A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Annoying things to do in an elevator 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, 2) STAND silent and motionless in the 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look 12) TRY to make personal calls on the 13) DRAW a little square on the floor 14) WHEN there's only one other person 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they 16) ASK if you can push the button for 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're 18) DROP a pen and wail until someone 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of 20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant 21) SWAT at flies that don't exist. 22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it I'm the girl that if you call my friend a brat I WILL say something. I am what I am I’m not emo I just have feelings I’m not prep I’m just happier than you I’m not a nerd just because I get better grades than you I’m not a jock I’m just in better shape then you I’m not goth I just like the color black I’m not popular I just have friends I’m not a hater I just don’t love everything I’m not perfect I just did something right I’m not crazy you’re just weird I’m not stupid I just didn’t know the answer to your stupid question I’m not a liar you just don’t understand sarcasm I’m not depressed you’re just overly peppy I’m none of the labels you’ve created for your own amusement You should look at yourself though This one goes out to all the jerks out there :) Calling me Fake, won't make you Real. 'Make a bet with me, and I will win. Fight me, and you will loose. Tell me I can't, and I will. Tell me to, and I won't. Dare me, and I'll do it. Say I cant, and I will.' 'I'll protect you because I know you're worth protecting.' 'Did you just call me a bitch? Too bad because that's what I am.' 'Get me a stinkin crobar so I can beat you with it.' Ways to Get Kicked Out of WalMart 1-wander through the store dressed in all black with a fake walkie-talkie humming the Mission Impossible theme. When someone asks what you're doing, scream "LOOK OUT!!" and push them behind a shelf 2-Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly after they take one. 3-Buy 350 packets of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" once the cashier tells you the price 4-Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask someone where you can find some "musical devices" 5-when the announcer-thing comes on, throw yourself on the floor and scream "THE VOICES!!THEY'RE BACK!!" 6-start a fish stick fight 7-walk up to random people and give them giant bear hugs. Then scream "I MISSED YA, MAN!!" 8-(this requires a friend) Jump in a cart and have a friend push you around screaming "The British are coming!!" 9-walk up to an employee and murmur "code red in aisle 3" and see what they do 10-slip a bra and a wig and make-up into a really macho-looking man's cart (just make sure he doesn't have any girls with him) 11-attempt to fly off a high shelf 12-throw confetti on random people walking into the store 13-whisper "I know your "little secret"' to people in the checkout line 14-stand inside the freezer at the frozen food section 15-walk up to empoyees and whisper "I saw dead people...They want me to take you away...to aisle 8" being weird is like being normal, only better! when you get caught looking at him, remember he was looking back Friends will say you deserve better, best friends will prank call him saying "Seven days" Curiosity killed the mutant bird kid Common sense is the most uncommon thing in the world I am a peaceful person who is filled with violent rage who was the first person who looked at a cow and say "I think I will squeeze those dangly things here and drink what comes out"? Even when you can’t see Him, GOD is there! if you believe in GOD put this in your profile. Did you know... kissing is healthy. bananas are good for period pain. it's good to cry. chicken soup actually makes you feel better. 94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers. lying is actually unhealthy. you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes. it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you. 89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move. it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed. chocolate will make you feel better. most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing. a good friend never judges. a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any. boys aren't worth your tears. we all love surprises. 10 ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity. 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it "IN" 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to espresso 6. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance to the Prophecy". 7. Specify that your drive thru order is "To Go" 8. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day. 9. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON I WON!!" 10. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they’re loose!!" Riddle of the Week: When geese fly in the 'V' formation, why is it that one side is always longer? 26 Things A Perfect Guy Would Do! 1) Know how to make you smile when you are down. 2) Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice. 3) Stick up for you, but still respects your independence... 4) Give you the remote control during the game. 5) Come up behind you, and put his arms around you. 6) Play with your hair. 7) His hand always finds yours. 8) Be cute when he really wants something. 9) Offer you plenty of massages. 10) Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork. 11) ...Never run out of love. 12) Be funny, but know how to be serious. 13) Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious. 14) Be patient when you take forever to get ready. 15) React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts. 16) Smile a lot. 17) Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally like to do, but does it because he knows how much it means to you. 18) Appricate you. 19) Help others out. 20) Drive for 5 hours just to see you for 1. 21) Always give you a peck on the cheek when you are departing form each other's company, even if his friends are watching. 22) Sing, even if he can't. 23) Have a creative sense of humor... 24) Stare at you. 25) Call for no reason. 26) Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs- just because he love you that much to quit it. A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit She ended up staying longer than As she walked along under the tall elm When she reached the alley, which was a However, halfway down the alley she She became uneasy and began to pray, Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness When she reached the end of the alley, The following day, she read in the Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and Thanking the Lord for her safety and to She felt she could recognize the man, so The police asked her if she would be She agreed and immediately pointed out When the man was told he had been The officer thanked Diane for her bravery She asked if they would ask the man one Diane was curious as to why he had not When the policeman asked him, he Amazingly, whether you believe or not, Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! If you belive in GOD put this in your profile "Ah, music -- a magic beyond all we do here." -Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone If you're in love with music and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile If you love cliches and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile! YOUR GIRL SIDE: You wear lip gloss/stick. You like wearing dresses when you can xYou like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne. TOTAL:6 haha I'm not that girly! FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. |
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