Hello, and welcome to the homepage of the finest (and only) publishing company in the Dark Empire of our lord Sauron. This fine establishment is owned by one guy who likes to screw around. Oh, and maybe write fanfiction if he's bored. Maybe. No guarantees. (My first fanfiction is a work in progress. Meaning I haven't gotten very far due to writer's block.)

Here is that one guy's credentials:

NAME: [MY NAME IS A SECRET]

AGE: [SAME DEAL]

MOTTO: Your logic is bad, and you should feel bad about it.

CATCHPHRASE: Dramatic fucking sigh.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Two-time Best Story Overall in the Young Authors Competition, Life Scout, brown belt in Aikido, blah blah I'm so wonderful, Voted Most Likely (By myself) to turn out to be a sociopathic world dictator when I'm older. (I've looked at the definition of sociopath, and I fit most of the requirements).

Now instead of copy-pasting all those long, boring passages about what I support, here's all my views on stuff, in a concise format:

I am an LGBT ally, I am pro-abortion, pro-gun restrictions (not all guns, just the ones designed for warfare, AKA assault rifles), pro-health care, pro-immigration reform, pro-deportation of people who say YOLO, pro-religious freedom, anti-Westboro Baptist Church, pro-Israel, pro-nuking North Korea into radioactive lava.

Please send all mail/catalogs/electricity bills(jk, my parents pay the bills)/lawsuits to-

Storage Closet 354

Armory 7B

Isengard

Eriador

Middle-Earth

Raxicoricofallapatorius

The Kit Kat Galaxy

The Alpha-verse