Flame me. Please. I'm all up for it. I'm sure I can crush your pathetic insults with only my pinkie finger.

THINGS YOUR SHOULD KNOW!

1. Being on my Favorite Stories list is only a compliment to Tviokh. Usually it means your story is so awful I'm monitering it.

2. Sporks are basically forks and spoons combined. I use them to gouge out eyeballs.

3. I am snarky. Get over it.

4. I can too write. If you violate the Not-Bob Internet Law (created by Pottersues, who I am not giving you the link to) you lose. This is the Not-Bob Law:

"NOT-BOB'S LAW: If you accuse somebody of making fun of something because they are 'just jealous' of the creator's superior talents, the argument is over, and you have lost. The law is named for our pet troll, 'Not-Bob'. You'll see her from time to time, screaming vitriol in all caps. Violations of 'Not-Bob's Law' are one of her favourite things to draw from her rather limited repertoire."

5. Guess what. If you violate the Ebert Law too, you LOSE. (Once again, skillfully voiced by the lovely Pottersues).

"When you ask somebody to try their own hand at something before criticizing your efforts, you have violated Ebert's Law and lost the argument. Roger Ebert is not a filmmaker, but he knows what he likes and doesn't, and has every right to say so. Similarly, people don't need to be chefs to recognize a good restaurant, or musicians to appreciate a symphony."