![]() Author has written 14 stories for Sailor Moon, Card Captor Sakura, Harry Potter, and Queer as Folk. Name:Aimee Age: 17 Country:Australia Fav Colours:Pink, Green and Purple Fav Anime:Cardcaptor Sakura, Sailor Moon, Pokemon, Digimon, Fullmetal Alchemist etc. Fav Movies:Blood:The last Vampire, Raise your Voice, Sailor Moon the Movie S, Lilo & Stitch, Madeline, Atlantis(Im a sucker for disney), Cinderella, Sahara, Spirited Away, All Harry Potter Movies, Peter Pan(All), Cruel Intentions, All Orlando Bloom Movieshehe, Just Like Heaven, Chronicles of Narnia The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe, Interview With A Vampire, Queen of the Damned and The Candy Man. Fav Couples: Anime: Syaoran/Sakura, Tomoyo/Eriol, Kero/Suppi, Tori/Julian, Syaoran/Tori(Touya), Serena/Darian, Rae/Darian, Serenity/Diamond, VincentValentine/Cloud, and a few others I cant think of. TV Series: Angel/Buffy, Angelus/William(Spike), Spike/Xander, Angelus/Xander, Spike/Drusilla, Angelus/Spike/Xander, Meredith/Derick, Ryan/Merissa, Seth/Summer and others I cant be fucked to write. Hate Couples: Sakura Tomoyo, Touya Tomoyo, Syaoran Tomoyo, Meilin Tomoyo, Syaoran Meilin, Touya Meilin, Darien Amy, Darien Mina, Darien Lita, etc. I also love horses, talking to my friends, watching my anime tapes and staying up late writing down ideas and then not finding the time to post them. Of course i will post but sometimes things may take awhile to be updated. However unless I state that the fic has been abandoned it will be updated at some point. oh and 4 those who want to e-mail me to see what stories i hav in progress or who want me to send them my next chapter you can e-mail me at angelus.childe@yahoo.com.au, X0XVincentValentineX0X@hotmail.com or Usako08@gmail.com OK umm story stats are like this Harry Malfoy on hold indefinitely- I'm actually going to take it down and maybe re-write it once I've finished the Grey Side, One Shot discontinued but up for adoption, Boarding School will be taken down and revised, I will only put it back up once I've finished it, that way at least one story will have regular updates once it's posted, the Grey Side is currently being updated and earlier chapters are being revised, well the grammar in the earlier chapters is anyway, updates should hopefully happen monthly if not fortnightly depending on the time that I have. Also if anyone knows of any good Angelus/Xander fics on this site or even on another site can you please send me the title and the site which it is on. Thankyou POLLS RESULTS NEW: Friends will be: Hermione, Seamus, Dean, Neville, Luna, Gred and Forge(from Gryffindor) and all Slytherins in his year Sirius: ALIVE and with Harry Pairings: Harry/Draco(duh), Seamus/Dean, Blaise/Hermione, Sirius/Severus/Remus and others that you'll need to read to find out about. Everyone who gave a review thankyou. now for semoehtnig itnresitmg... i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty If you could read that put it in your profile. My name is Lucifer I am three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren’t ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can’t do a wrong I can’t speak at all Or else im locked up All day long. When im awake im all alone The house is dark My folks aren’t home When my mommy does come home I'll try and be nice, So maybe ill just get One whipping tonight. I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie’s bar. I hear him curse My name is called I press myself Against the wall I try to hide From his evil eyes I’m so afraid now I’m starting to cry He finds me weeping Calls me ugly words, He says its my fault He suffers at work. He slaps and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And run to the door He’s already locked it And i start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken, "I’m sorry!", I scream But its now much to late His face has been twisted Into a unimaginable shape The hurt and the pain Again and again O please God, have mercy! O please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door While i lay there motionless Brawled on the floor My name is Lucifer I am three, Tonight my daddy Murdered me Now i roam the underworld, to help those in need. I may seem evil, but i'm not. And if you read this and don’t pass it on I pray for your forgiveness Because you would have to be One heartless person To not be effected By this Poem And because you are affected, Do something about it! So all i ask you to do Is pass this on! IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE If you've ever pushed on a door marked pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile. 98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, why aren't two mooses meese, or if two foots are feet, why arn't two footballs feetball? People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy this and put it in your profile. If you've ever run up the 'down' escalator or vice versa, copy and paste this into our profile If there are times where you annoy people just for the fun of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. If you know who Panic! At the Disco is and know that they are NOT disco...copy this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile! If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. My best friend is insane. If you agree or if you have at least one insane friend copy this into your profile. On pg. 116 of the American version of Order of the Pheonix (last paragraph) it states that there was 'a heavy locket none of them could open'. Ring a bell? It's proof of the R.A.B. is Regulus Black theory. Of you were smart enough to figure this ot or you believe it, copy this into your profile. Ninty-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with fitting in and being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy and paste this into you profile, and add your name to the list: AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crayzy Billie Joel Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, watching-waiting-wishing, 100-percent-Harry-Potter-obsessed, arnoldtehefemalepurplepygmypuff,xxUrban Angelxx, darklordofultimatechaos, Angelus'Childe93 Her name was Auroura She was only five This is what happened When she was alive Her dad was a drunk Her mom was an addict Her parents kept her Locked in an attic Her only friend was a little toy bear It was old and worn out And had patches of hair She always talked to it When no one's around She lays there and hugs it Not a peep of sound Until her parents unlock the door Some more and more pain She'll have to endure A bruise on her leg A scar on her face Why would she be In such a horrible place? But she grabs her bear And softly cry's She loves her parents But they want her to die She sits in the corner Quiet but thinking," God, why? Why is My life always sinking?" Such a bad life For a sad little kid She'd get beaten and beaten For anything she did Then one night Her mom came home high The poor child was hit and slapped As hours went by Then her mom suddenly Grabbed for a blade It was sharp and pointy One that she made She thrust the blade Right in her chest, " You deserve to die You worthless pest! " The mom walked out Leaving the girl slowly dying She grabbed her bear And again started crying Police showed up At the small little house They quickly barged in Everything was as quiet as a mouse One officer slowly Opened a door To find the sad little girl Lying on the floor It must have been bad To go through so much harm But at least she died With her best friend in her arms If you hate child abuse then repost this on your profile. If you don't then you have no soul!! I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear. We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me. I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male. Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it. You know you live in 2007 when... 1. You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2. You haven't played solitare with real cards for years. 3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or myspace. 4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV. 6. Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7. As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8. As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9. And you were too busy to notice number 5. 10. You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11. Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12. Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did. -- You're a 90's kid if: You can finish this "Ice ice _ "--ummm still not cool, even then. You remember watching: -Doug -Ren & Stimpy -Pinky and the Brain -AAAAAAAH Real Monsters! -Rockos modern Life. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!" You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ." You remember: -TGIF -Step by Step -Family Matters -Dinosaurs -Boy Meets World. You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons. You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school. You remember reading "Goosebumps" You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school. You said "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not when everyhting was settled by: -rock paper scissors or -bubble gum bubble gum in a dish or -daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky. when cops and robbers was a daily activity. when we played Hide and go seek until our legs grew numb. You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time. "Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show. Captain Planet. He's a Hero. You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together. You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular. You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders" You remember watching: -The Magic School Bus -Wishbone -Reading Rainbow on PBS. You remember when Yo-Yos were cool. You remember those Where's Waldo books. You remember eating Warheads. You remember watching: -the 1st Batman -Aladdin -Ninja Turtles -3 Ninjas movies. You remember Ring Pops. You remember drinking Surge, and Tang. If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!" When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos. You remember boom boxes vs. cd players. Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and then predicting your life with them. one word. . . Furbies. You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet. And Windows 95 was the best. You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles. Michael Jordan was a king. YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff! You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out You collected those Beanie Babies. Carebears Gak was the coolest stuff invented. The old dollar bills. Silver dollars, which were cool to have. You remember a time before the WB. You collected all the Troll dolls If you even know what an original walkman is. You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch. You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" You know the Macarena by heart. "Talk to the hand" . . . enough said You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!" You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace. You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground. Before the MySpace frenzy . . . Before the Internet & text messaging . . . Before Sidekicks & iPods . . . Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . . Before Spongebob If you remember all of that then you're a 90's kid For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style. Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh. Crazy is when you start saying different names from random shows wit your friend just to see who knows more names. Crazy is when you post in this list. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list! If you have ever been kidnapped and nearly eaten by evil flying squirrels before your vampire boyfriend saved you, then you found a flamethrower and vanquished the squirrels shouting “Die, squirrel beasts, die!”, copy this into your profile. If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck fan-girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile. If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile. If people mistake you for a vampire (cough cough or you are one cough cough)...copy and paste this onto your profile. If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. If you know what a lemon fly is(for those who dont, it is a mythicle lemon with wings. ha! now you know!) If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s Including Bella Disorder. AV is Addicted to Vampires ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you're happy and you know it clap your hands...and then copy and paste this into your profile.- If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this and put it in your profile If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile. 98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro! If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies. Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door I live in a world of Rainbows, hearts and Unicorns. The rainbow is only in shades of grey and black, The hearts are broken and bleeding and the unicorn are cutting them selves with their horns... All in all it's my perfect life=D 'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO! I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends I could tell you what happened in the first chapter of Eclipse, but then I would have to kill you. I ran with scissors, and lived! You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder if you are addicted to copy and pastes, copy and paste this into your profile ( ) ( ) (")_(") If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. I have read New Moon and Eclipse and when i did i wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY hard! (then i said screw that, I might as well just kill him, and then he says I can kill vampires you know, I'll just say... Bet you wish you were a vampire now...) They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly i think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," i don't think many people would be dead... I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes. You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days" When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS! A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. But a best friend will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?" P.S I never changed, I just got tired of pretending I was happy. Edward Cullen I love you! Oops! Did I say that out loud? We're on a bridge CCHHAARRLLIIEE. We are going to Candy Mountain Cchhaarrlliiee! A land of sweets and joy... and joyness. Oh god! They took my freaking kidney! It's a Leoplurodon Cchhaarrlliiee. A magical Leoplurodon if they are right... copy and paste this into your profile. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile. If you'r a person who acts friendly, but has an evil mind and is planning to dominate the world, copy this to your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile Smile. It confuses people. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it If you jog backwards, will you gain weight? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers? If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from? If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? The world is cruel... get used to it! Not all scars fade, not all wounds heal. If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler. The evil gnomes poked me in the bum wit a stick. Chasing little green midgets in tu-tus around with a rabid turkey sandwich, be back when pigs fly. Hey,I'm a silly peanut who's gonna be turned into peanut butter, and I like noodles. What does this all mean? ...POOF...I'm gone! How many toes does a fish have how many wings on a cow i wonderyup i wonder! How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb?...Wait I just thought of something that would be good for making...ooooooooo something shiny!! "Americans worship money. I have been looking for god all my life and he is right in my pocket." -Chris Rock Hope is a good thing, perhaps the best of things and no good thing ever dies, except my dog scruffy, he got hit by a car. If you're in a hurricane and a tree falls, what sound does a cow make on the 4th of July in a blizzard? Welcome to the world of very scary fearies! For those who think fearies are innocent little creatures... Killing gnomes with sporks! If youre paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Icecream doesn't have bones!! Not the leprachans again!! They are back, they are back! Get away! Hide your pets! They are back! Purple monkeys r coming.purple monkeys r coming ...HIDE... The cheese sat next to the banana!! Watch out for the gopher!! He will turn you into blue pancakes... Would you like a cookie? So would I. You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear. Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that mother fucker upside the head YOUR COMPUTER IS NOW INFECTED WITH A BAD VIRUS. But... There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count. A good friend will... ...bail you out of jail -- while a best friend will be right beside you goin' wow we fucked up. Don't you get so annoyed when people leave away messages? I mean, if they're away, why don't they just sign off? Stupid people. A pretty girl can kiss a guy, a bird can kiss a butterfly, the rising sun can kiss the grass, but you my friend!! Yes You!! YOU CAN KISS MY ASS!! Don't take it personaly.. but you smell like an ice cube I am not anti-social..I just don't like you How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I'll get back to you... That's right, the mindless jabber on the radio right now is more interesting than you... leave a message and I'll think about answering. I am not currently available right now. However, if you would like to be transfered to another correspondent, please press the number that best fits your personality: ur parents lied. Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck. Don't you just hate those away messages that people make that don't tell you where they are? Have you ever IMed someone just to see what their away message said? Dude, where's my car? Where's your car dude? Seriously dude, where's my car? I dunno dude, where's your car? Dude, I think I lost my car, this may take a while!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH dude, ostriches are attacking your car,oh cheeznack get the hell off it you llamas!! You has just recieved the Amish computer virus. Since the Amish do not have computers, it is based strictly on the honor system. Please delete all files on your computer. Thank you for your cooperation. 668-9911... thats the # to my eye doctor's office, because you can't see the YELLOW note pad in front of my s/n A day without sunshine is like... night. A rabbi, a priest, and a duck walked into a bar. The bartender looked up and said, "What is this? A joke?" A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water! Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!! My house is on fire!! Must...save...computer... kinda preoccupied at the moment, please leave message, oh yeah, and call 911, must...save...computer... Ahhh I'm running after the bad guy who took my pack of Skittles... I worked hard for that pack... Ahhh he's eating them!! Now he's throwing them at me... Call 911!! At last! My plans for world domination are complete! MAHAHAHAA? Oh look, something shiney? Back in my day, we had to walk 5 miles in the snow to tell people we were away from our computers. Behold the mighty...chihuahua? Beware of the little green men in pink tights. They run fast and can jump out of nowhere. I am running away from them right now. Busy polking my neighbor with a spork. be back soon shes really old and wrinkly this is fun muahahaha Confusius say: Man who eat jelly beans fart in technicolor Dance my little puppets, Dance! - God Do I know you? Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!! Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls. Don't Worry!, I don't know where I am either. Everyone always has those special, thoughtful, crackup, cleaver away messages that make you laugh or think so hard you are tempted to take it and use it for your own. This is mine. Be back later... Feeding my pet old person right now...be back later! Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster. Hello. You have reached The Autopsy-profile. If you are already cut open, Press 1.If you are ordering a new body, Press 2.If you are ordering a cut body, Press 3.If you are picking up a body, Press 4.If you chose none of the options above, please stay on the IM. You will soon be tracked down and picked up in a nice cozy black 'sleeping-bag'.Have a nice day and thank you for choosing Autopsy IM! Help!ican'tfindthespacebar Hey you I am not at my computer right now cause while I was away my computer ran away, so I am chaseing it right now. If you see me go past your house running after a computer, put up this away message and come and help me! Hey everyone, I'm not here right now so if you would leave your reason for IM'ing me when you saw that I had an away message up, I will get back to you as soon as possible... Hey I'll be back when the time reaches 6:66 not to sure when that will be but I will be back whenever it happens I have been here for 3 days now and still no hope for the time, but I promise i'll be back whenever it reaches 6:66 Hey, did you hear that joke about the cat and the girl ?... Yeah that was a great joke! How do you kill a purple elephant? Use a purple elephant gun. How do you kill a gray elephant? Strangle it until it turns purple and then shoot it with the purple elephant gun Hey, I don't know why this Away Message is on right now I just put it on. Good bye I am an evil poptart :! I am out collecting sprinkles for my breakfasty self. I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect! I am on a quest to the deepest darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for a may not return alive. I did what they say and chose the road less traveled... Now where the heck am I? I am the away message who is supposed to entertain you while this dumb person is gone I do what cheerios tell me. I have a secret to tell you... I'm away from my computer right now. I need to feed my pet leprechaun, so I can get the gold at the end of the rainbow, so just sit back and relax...This may take a while... I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'. I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again. I used to hate it when aunts and grandmas, used to come up to me at weddings and pinch my cheeks and say "Your next" "Your next". Well they stopped doin that crap when i started to do it to them at funerals. I'm a little teapot short and stout; here is my hande, here is my...other handle? Shit. now i'm a sugar bowl I'm bartending at an AA meeting I'm doing something really important right now. I'm spinning in my computer chair, be with you when I can see straight again..."PLease stop the room from spinning, I'd like to get off I'm hearing voices in my head and they don't like you! I'm not available right now so please leave your name, number, and address and I will STALK you later. I'm knocking on heavens door.. voice in back round Knocking? You very nearly broke the bloody thing down!! me That wasnt my fault!! It was poor constrution... I SWEAR!! Dont look at me like that... I'm in the back yard hunting sharks. I'm out driving with my keys in an electrical outlet... If I'm not back in 10 minutes, avenge my death. If This Message Appears On Your Screen, You Win Our Famous 'I Want To Live In A Farm With Hens' Contest !! Thanks For Playing n This Moment Is In History It's t And 2day Is d If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth. Let's dicuss right and left... you're right, I left! Man: I would go to the end of the world for you! My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet... Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Never argue with me, I'll drag you down to my level and beat you with a bat. OHHH. Shiny object. So pretty... OMG! you just ran into a pole Roses are redViolets are blue, Some away messages rhyme, and some don't. Running around robbing banks all whacked out on scooby snacks. Shhhhhh...Im tring to avoid you...dont tell them though...OMG, how did you find me?! Smart people like me don't use away messages... I am so smart! Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions. Sorry I am being Chased by 6 Penguins and they seem to want my ButterFinger but damnit they can't have it. So I will be back after I have run them over with my Barbie Car. The first time I was chatting with someone online, they asked me "asl?" I tried to sound it out and got realy ticked of and started warning them because I thought they were calling me an asshole. This is my profile: If you are the credit card company, I already sent the money. If you are one of my friends, you owe me money. If you are male, I don't have plenty of money. I was about to conquer the world but then I got distracted by something shiny. There is a smurf at my door and i have many questions to ask him...like what color his face turns ...are dumb, throw rocks at them. Pass it on... If two wrongs don't make a right, try three Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin. "What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" -Unknown "Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it? Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. "You cry I cry,You laugh I laugh,You jump off a cliff I laugh harder" "When all else fails blow shit up." I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you. Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock! "A good friend picks you up when you fall,a best friend picks you up and then trips you again." A good friend will bail you out of jail, a great friend will be sitting next to you in your cell saying "We fucked up, huh?" A good friend will bail you out of jail, a great friend will be sitting next to you in your cell saying “Damn that was fun!” A good friend will comfort you when he breaks up with you. A BEST friend will call him, whispering "Seven days..." Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls "I believe die bitch conveys my feelings properly" "We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do." "You say tomato...I say fuck you."In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?" Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration! "We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box."-UnknownDealing with Television network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks."- Eric Sevareid I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . TomorrowAfter twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."“I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for." --Jasper Carrott "Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else." --Will Rogers "If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the 'up' button." --Sam Levenson I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it." --Unknown "Perfection is a waste of time." --Kim De Coite Engineering: 'How will this work?' Science:'Why will this work?' Management: 'When will this work?' Liberal Arts:'Do you want fries with that?'" --Unknown Boy, when you are dead, they really fix you up. I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enough to just dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetery. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you are dead? Nobody." --J.D. Salinger; The Catcher In The Rye "The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable." --Unknown "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I'm not sure about the universe." --Albert Einstein "Some people have a large circle of friends, while others have only friends that they like." -- Unknown Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know." --Gilbert Chesterton Some books make me wanna go adventuring, others feel that they have saved me the trouble." --Ashleigh Brilliant That is the truest sign of insanity--insane people are always sure they are fine. It is only the sane people that are willing to admit that they are crazy." --Nora Ephron "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe striving to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning." --Rich Cook The books that the world calls immoral are the books that show the world its own shame." --Oscar Wilde "I hate television. I hate it as much as I hate peanuts. But I can not stop eating peanuts." --Orson Welles Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education." --Bertrand Russell “You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.” - Unknown “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” - Unknown “Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.” - Unknown “He who laughs last didn't get it.” - Unknown “When there's a will, I want to be in it.” - Unknown "Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!"-Calvin and Hobbes "Love your enemies! It really pisses them off" "Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again "Here's a toast -- To those who challenge us to mind games, but forget to bring their equipment!"-Anonymous "Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs." "If you can't laugh at yourself make fun of other people" To put it nicely, I hope you choke "True love is when you don't want to sleep because real life is so much better than a dream" "A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." ~Herm Albright Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. I used to be indicisive, now I'm not sure It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn I'm not insensitive, I just don't care Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey. When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in? Real life isn't free, but i'd pay anything to have it real life isn't full of happily ever afters, just bursts of happiness that don't last very long my imaginary friend doesn't like you either i hate it wen the voices argue wit my imaginary friends Her name was Auroura Her dad was a drunk Her only friend She always talked to it Until her parents A bruise on her leg But she grabs her bear She sits in the corner Such a bad life Then one night Then her mom suddenly She thrust the blade The mom walked out Police showed up One officer slowly It must have been bad If you hate child abuse, post this on your profile!! My name is Tiffany. I am three, My eyes are swollen. I cannot see, I must be stupid, I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren’t ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can’t do a wrong I can’t speak at all Or else I'm locked up All day long. When I'm awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren’t home When my mommy does come home I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll just get One whipping tonight. I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie’s bar. I hear him curse My name is called I press myself Against the wall I try to hide From his evil eyes I’m so afraid now I’m starting to cry He finds me weeping Calls me ugly words, He says its my fault He suffers at work. He slaps and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And run to the door He’s already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken, "I’m sorry!", I scream But its now much to late His face has been twisted Into a unimaginable shape The hurt and the pain Again and again O please God, have mercy! O please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door While I lay there motionless Brawled on the floor My name is Tiffany I am three, Tonight my daddy Murdered me And you can help Sickens me top the soul, And if you read this and don’t pass it on I pray for your forgiveness Because you would have to be One heartless person To not be effected By this Poem Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. If you're against abortion, re-post this I trust Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour. If you do to, and you have no problem saying so; post this on your profile. TRY NOT TO CRY: In Loving Memory of The Columbine Students Who Were Lost. Please if you would, pass this around. I'd be happy if you could; don't smash this on the ground. If you pass this on, maybe people will cry. Just keep this in your heart for the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye". Now you have 2 choices, 1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as "Try Not To Cry" 2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how cold-hearted you really are. If you hate stereotypes and think ppl should just shut up and stop POST THIS. Pick the stereotype that fits you. I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz. I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat. I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS. I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape. I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch. - Actually I am one but thats besides the point I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world. I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals. I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people. I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible. I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay. I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash. I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants. I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem. I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store. I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage. I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore... I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore. I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut. I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob. I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo. I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars. I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy. I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore. I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut. I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals. I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK. I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!! I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention. I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention. I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. -Does this still count since I'm a girl? I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay. I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe. I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer. I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll. I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi. I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO. I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT. I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited. I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13. I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy. I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas. I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction. I'm a VIRGIN so i MUST be prude. I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent. I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy. I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid. I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot. I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7. I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals. I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up. I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist. I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork. I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA. I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect. I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil. I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich. I'm an OG so I must be Mexican. If you hate stereotypes and think people should just shut up and stop, POST THIS. Favorite Quotes Not mine got em off others "Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity... and I'm not sure about the first"-Albert Einstein "The difference between genius and stupidiy is that genius has its limits"-Albert Einstein "When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let everybody wonder how you did it." "I'm not insensitive. I just don't care." "The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction makes sense." "God did not create men and women to be equal... don't worry; give him time and he'll evolve." "Warning: Trespassers will be shot Warning: Survivors will be shot again" "It's as bad as you think, and they are out to get you" "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried" "If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished." "Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil." "'Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit' is said by those incapable of its proper application and as such suffer from it a lot" "Anger is just one letter short of danger. If someone betrays you once, it is his fault: If he betrays you twice, it is your fault." "Great minds discuss ideas: Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people." "The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action."-Frank Herbert "The hardest thing in life is to watch the one you love, love somebody else." "If love has no age, race or religion... then whey should it have gender?" "Giving everything you have for a person is true love."- From Shadowed Fighter "It's easier to point the finger than it is to take action." "True knowledge is admitting you know nothing." "You find that you are a hyporcryte when you constantly blame things on others that was your own fault."- From Shadowed Fighter "Carpe Diem: Live your life to it's fullest" "If you can’t beat them, join them. If you can’t join them, bribe them. If you can’t bribe them, blackmail them." When someone tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football. OK People there's this really cool site that I think all HP fans should visit to discuss HP, find out about characters and actors and to post fanart and fanfiction. This site is called snitch seeker and below is the url. I really think that you guys should give this site a try. Oh and when it asks for referals say Saiai recomended the site as that is my name there. | |||||||
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