Ace the Mace: The Biography

Yes, we've all heard the legend: how he singlehandedly defeated the Nazis in World War II, screwed up the recount vote in Florida because he thought it would be funny, killed Joel Schumacher for "Batman and Robin"... the list goes on. But who is the man behind the legend? And more importantly... do you really care?

Name: David L. Koontz

Age: Mid-twenties (started on here as a teenager... man how time flies!)

Height: 5'10''

Weight: About 20 lbs too much... damn CiCi's buffet line...

Eyes: Blue like the Sea (or maybe like a dead person's lips... you decide)

Hair: Was "blonde" when I started my account, but I'm now updating it to "non-existent"

Profession: Student/Teacher (not a Zen answer... really a student and a teacher)

Interests: Writing, Reading, Ruining Childhood Dreams for Silver-Spooned Fat Kids, Baseball, Legend of Zelda (surprise), History, Putting Beer in a Kitty's Bowl (cause it's funny, that's why), Anime (only intelligent stuff)

Stories: I did have five up here at one time, but I lost interest in writing Fanfiction for Buffy and ReBoot almost as soon as I started them. My love for Legend of Zelda fandom, however, burns as brightly as ever. That's why I'm determined to rewrite my Dark Tide novelette and then do some legitimate sequel work.

Political Views: Moderate (I'm running for President in '12, even though I'm not legal yet; Vote Dave "Doc Sharkey" Koontz for President!