We live as thought the world was as it should be, to show it what it can be.

Mood: Tired and in want of a cookie

Currently: Stealing your rubber ducky

TA DA! An update of everything! (aka Something for Hannah to read while in Italy)

"I'm gonna yank out your galbladder so fast that your kidney will say to your spleen, 'What happened to Frank?' That's right, your kidney named your galbladder Frank."

SHOWS THAT I CURRENTLY ENJOY

Bones

Heroes

Chuck

Gilmore Girls

Buffy

How I Met Your Mother

Firefly

Scrubs

FAVORITE ACTORS/ACTRESSES

Milo Ventimiglia (And I am in love with him.)

Adam Baldwin (I did not misspell 'Alec'. This is Adam Baldwin. There is a difference. And Adam is much more amazing.)

David Boreanaz

Eliza Dushku

Seth Green

Drew Fuller

Alan Tudyk

Summer Glau

Camden Toy

Harry Groener

Tom Welling (Not because I like the show he is in. Because he is crazy hot.)

ENJOYABLE MOVIES

A Knight's Tale

Grosse Pointe Blank

Serenity

Fried Green Tomatoes

Transformers

Waitress

INTREGUING BOOKS

Poison Study - Maria V. Snyder

The Goose Girl - Shannon Hale

The Fallen: Reckoning - Tom Sniegoski

Jude - Kate Morgenroth

The Warrior Heir - Cinda Williams Chima

TODAY'S FAVORITE SONGS

Shade of Poison Trees - Dashboard Confessional

In the Middle - Theory of A Deadman (They have an unfortunate acronym, don't they?...'TOAD' XD)

Wherever You Will Go - The Calling

Your Guardian Angel - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Chosen - Robert Duncan

QUOTES...Some you will understand, some you won't. All provided those involved with great amusement.

"Too bad Lassie didn't know how to ice skate, because then if she was in Holland on vacation in winter and someone said "Lassie, go skate for help," she could do it." - Anna

"Whether they ever find life there or not, I think Jupiter should be considered an enemy planet." - Me

"Stupid shiny Volvo owner." - Twilight

"Stupid shiny volcano owner? What?" - Jess (reading it upside down)

"When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand limes; when life gives you limes, make grape juice. Then laugh as everyone wonders how you pulled that off." - Hannah

"Vampires with guns…" – Me

"It sounds like a bad horror movie." – Mom

"Move to WA State, we have the dullest rocks in the world!" – Kristine, during geography

"Holy crap! There really is a microwave there! I thought you guys were kidding!" – Adam

"Can I yell MOVIE in a crowded firehouse?" - Me

"Wait! Corrine's eating Bella!" - Me, during lunch, long story but basically we were acting out Twilight with lunch food for the benefit of Mike...yeah, we're cool that way.

"I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners." - Jeff Stilson

"A group of psychologists say they have discovered twenty-three different body language indicators that show whether or not a person is lying. If you would like to see all twenty-three at the same time, they recommend taking a guided tour of the White House" - Conan O'Brien

"Everything will work out alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end." - Unknown

"Hm...I'd like a daiquiri...strawberry. And that's virgin." - Curtis. Someone really should teach him how to order a drink.

"It's not like we're going to be attacked." - Deanna

"Damn, I forgot my pepper spray. Maybe we should take this fork to protect us!" - Me

"Excuse me, these two girls are going to steal a fork!" - Curtis

"If I didn't see it, it didn't happen." - Waitress

"On the other hand, you have different fingers." - Me and Hannah

"It might look as if I am doing nothing, but at the cellular level I am really quite busy." - Me

"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants." - A. Whitney Brown

"All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door." - Mike

"The best way to forget your problems is to wear tight shoes" - Ashleigh

"Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life." - Tim

"It's an IBM; it's got an excuse." - Deanna

"Can everyone start laughing, please?" - Me

"Why?" - Adam

"No reason..." - Me

"I can't laugh for no reason, I'm bad at that!" - Mimi

"Then laugh at Hannah." - Me

-Hannah look affronted and slightly offended-

"...Hahahaha!" - Everyone

"Rock is dead. Long live paper and scissors!" - Mike

"Has he noticed that we screwed up his graph yet?" - Me

"What? I have a graph?" - Adam

Almost exactly a year later...

"Remember that time we screwed up Adam's graph?" - Hannah

"Wait, graph? What graph? Where? HUH?!?!?!" - Adam

"What part of 'Thou Shalt Not' don't you understand?" - Tina

"Black Jesus forgives you. Fo shizzle, homies." - Scott

“Dude! It echoes! Can you hear it echo?” – Me

“Yes! I can hear the echo!” – Hannah

“Echo! Wait, I’m talking to my agenda….” – Me

"Hmm. It appears that my trenchcoat has grown a large tumor. And Mimi has disappeared." - Hannah

"We're going to have to wait for it to rain." - Deanna

"Yeah, waiting for it to rain in Seattle, that could take a while." - Me

"I think I burned more calories changing for PE than I did actually participating today." - Megan

"This could be trouble." - Adam

"We better make a fort." - Riley

"I'll get some pillows." - Adam

"She gave your were-muffin rabbit-ears." - Katherine

“These French fries appear to have been deep-fried in the boiling oil vats of Hell itself. They're crispy on the outside, evil on the inside.” – Hannah

“May I have some? They sound tasty!” – Me

“Mmmmm, French fried evil.” – Deanna

“You ate the white chocolate chip cookies. Racist.” – Hannah

"Why would I waste cookies by giving them to a jolly fat man?" - Deanna

"I can't believe it said I should be a THERAPIST!!! Can you see ME as a therapist?!" - Me

"I value my life, so I'm not going to answer that." - Jessica

"I don't think you see my logic." - Katherine

"I see your logic. I choose to twist it. -Nibble Nibble- " - Me

"It's the return of the ham sandwich!" - Me

"Actually, that's a turkey sandwich." - Hannah

"Shush. Let me have my fun." - Me

The Next Day...

"Look! A turkey sandwich!" - Me

"Um, it's a ham sandwich..." - Hannah

"-glares- I hate you." - Me

-And so continues the Sandwich mini-series...-

"My, is that a ham sandwich?!" - Me

"Hannah's not here." - Corinne

"Drat her...-sob-" - Me

So, Marla's pretty much amazing...

"Small children check under their beds for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Marla." - Keith

"Chuck Norris was taught by Bruce Lee. Bruce Lee was taught by Marla." - Charles

"Kids wear Superman t-shirts. Superman wears a Marla t-shirt." - Ryan

"I swear to God, I'm an Atheist!" - Corrine

"Oh, for the love of Frarl!" - Me and Corrine

"Usually when people say they're going to take over the world I just laugh at them, but I'm scared of you, because you might actually do it..." - Christian, to Hannah

"She's doing a ritualistic dance! Hide!" - Corrine

"I like laser tag!" - Me

"I like shocking people!" - Katherine

"Taser Tag!" - Whole Table

"No literally, heart-stopping. We've died from boredom." - Hannah, in a paper on Great Expectations

"There's crabs in the Wonder Water!" - Me, Marla, Tina (and Jennifer, had she been there.)

"When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape." - Tim

"Can withstand hours of grueling tasks and unimaginable torture. Aka, Junior High Choir." - on Hannah’s resume for Bambam

"JAMES! LIMBO, DAMMIT!" - Nichole

"I see bread people." - Me (credit to Deanna)

"No! Not the gingerbread men!" - Jessica

"I've never been Jewish." - Kyle

"Well I was Jewish last week, but it didn't work out..." - Me

(Playing I've Never)

"So Hannah, the arrow. Are you beside the influence?" - Deanna

"I can't find the seven on this calculator!" - Savannah

"Savannah, it's in numerical order..." - Me

"Eh, he's bleach-blond so it doesn't really matter. He can be a crazy loon for all I care, I'll join the fanclub." - Corrine

"Hannah, did you paint your nails?" – Hannah’s mom

"No. I dipped them in the blood of my enemies, and let it dry." - Hannah

"When is this movie going to END!?!" - Me

"It's not over 'till the short kid dies." - Tina

"Hey! You need to pay for that!" – Clerk

“Nooo…I'm a werewolf. It's a new governmental decree thing. Werewolves get free candy. It's a humane way of depleting the werewolf population so more people are not turned into were-creatures.” – Hannah

“-Laughs- But you still have to pay for that.” – Clerk

“Fine...but the next full moon...we'll be watching.” - Hannah

"You're crazy, you know that?" - Benjamin

"Of course. The first step is admittance. The second is world domination." - Me

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'." - Chris Rock

"I got a moldy candy cane!" - Hannah, upon receiving a candy gram at school.

"Athiest baptism: Here is the eternal flame of Jesus. Let's put it out." - Pat

"You know it's a school book fair when they give you your book in a Safeway bag..." - Deanna

"Rawr?" - Hannah

"Precicely." - Me

"What kind of iPod did you get?" - Me

"The red one that fights AIDS. Ironically it is still here in my lap. Must not be fighting too hard." - Anna

"I can manipulate water with my mind! I shall now turn on the faucet from the other side of the room, using my brain...and Corrine!" - Me

(Corrine jumps up, runs across room, and turns on faucet.)

"This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine! This little light-" Hannah (singing)

(I lick finger and snuff out light while making a hissing sound.)

"I mean, really. Jesus HAD to have been at least a little black. He lived in the Middle East, for goodness sake! It's like, GOD: So how was your stay on earth, Son? JESUS: I got a tan!" - Me and Hannah

"This is sign language for 'Give me your soul'!" - Katherine

"Hehe." - Me

"What?" - Hannah

"That reminds me of something funny." - Me

"It's probably something really random, like 'I like cheese'." - Katherine

"Are you having any deja vu right now?" - Me

"Slightly, yes." - Hannah

"Hmm. -nods- But there weren't any Valentine candies last time." - Me

"Jesus Christ!" - Steven (dropped a pile of dishes)

"-looks up- Dad?" - Brian

-Raindrop hits me in eye-

"Damn you to Hell you stupid little raindrop! Go burn for eternity in neverending torment!...at least until you evaporate..." - Me

"They can't take away the doughnuts!" - Me

"The police will riot!" - Natasha

"The world rhymes in pretty flowers and rainbows!" - Hannah

"Ch-ch. This is a gun. Go away." - Me

"I'll kill the random people!" - Kelly

"Okay, leaving now..." - Random guy

Really loudly in the lunchroom...

"I LOVE BUFFY! It kicks Angel's butt!" - Adam

"SHAME! Shame, Adam! Angel rocks your socks off!" - Mimi

"Does it rain there?" - Mimi

(Again, you had to be there...)

"We found the shoe!" - Katie, lying to cops.

"She went up like a flaming carrot!" - Me

"Is that you, Andrew? You're dying..." - Deanna

"I know!" - Andrew

(During a game of Dead or Alive IV)

"Did you just throw your shoe at me?" - Me

"No, I was juggling. This is throwing my shoe at you." - Katherine

"Someone needs to go down there and rap out the alphabet..." - Deanna

"God came to Noah and said, 'Noah, your new name is Dances with Men.'" - Katie

"I mean really, think of the birds! Thry're quietly nesting, the turbine comes on, then it's...swish...swish...swish...thunk...poof!" - Hannah, on I-937, birds, and wind turbines. Complete with hand motions.

"Germany is a stubborn, spoiled child. With a gun. And and anger problem." - Deanna, on World War II

"Quick! Put that potato down before it explodes!" - Katherine

"So as you're driving down the road imagine a bubble around your car. How can you protect it from being entered by another car?" - Driver's Ed. Instructor

"Get a stronger bubble." - Andrew

"Hello, this is James. I'm not James. I'm Marge. Right. Thanks for calling, Marge...James!" - Marge

"Has it occurred to you that if there was a freak earthquake and that telivision fell on us, we'd die?" - Me, at 3 or 4 in the morning after a lot of sodas

"It hadn't, but that is a frightening prospect." - Hannah

"Some people play tennis. I corrode the human soul." - Katie

"Let's make a song! -singing- They called her Middle Marla Muffin..." - Me

"-singing- Cuz she was in the middle..." - Marla

"-singing- Of the Ca-a-ar." - Tina

"The sun! It BURNS!" - Hannah

"Wait, I though you glittered...?" - Katie

"So now insted of a Twilight-vampire, you're a Buffy-vampire?" - Me

"Yes. Jess converted me today." - Hannah

"So Jess is like a vampire evangalist? She's a Vampangalist?" - Me

"Please try not to make fun of the vampires." - Katie

"Hey, we prefer 'livingly challenged.'" - Hannah

"Katie, why are there fish guts in the fish tank?" - Hannah

"I don't know..." - Katie

"Katie, did you push the fish into the filter?!" - Hannah

"No..." - Katie

"Ka-a-atie..." - Hannah

"Okay, so I might've suggessted it..." - Katie

"Ka-a-atie..." - Hannah

"So I maybe nudged it..." - Katie

"Ka-a-atie...!" - Hannah

"SO I PUSHED THE FISH INTO THE FILTER, OKAY?!?" - Katie

"I own this train!" - Me and Megan

"You are not my hero!" - Me and Megan

"Well, Senior Prick...Pick! Senior Pick!" - Rachel

"Catch the bubbles -gestures frantically-!" - Jessica

(There were no bubbles...)

"What happened to your eye?!" - Everyone I saw that day...

"Take it away, Jill." - Me

"Well, you see, there was this lake, and a baby, and a shark.." - Jillian

"Cue Deanna." - Jessica

"She clawed herself in the face changing for PE..." - Deanna

"What's with all the competion in sports these days? Why can't we just have a good old-fashoned bloody fight-to-the-death?" - Corrine

"Try our emoburgers! Now made from fresh, angsting American teenager's hearts! Comes with complementary razor." - Deanna

"And don't forget the ketchup-like blood!" - Me

"-snicker-" - Me

"What?" - Deanna and Corrine

"Well, I was just thinking, and I saw your frozen lemonade, and I thought...'In every generation, there is created a lemonade..." - Me

"It alone will stand up to the forces of..." - Deanna

"The spoons!...and straws..." - Corrine

"...Wow, we're...strange...and sad." - Me

"There's a bipartisan bumper sticker that says 'Run, Hilary, Run!' Democrats put it on their back bumpers. Republicans put it on their front." - Hannah

"No! Come Back! Come back!" - Hannah

-Seth hands Hannah the flyaway paper-

"It came back!" - Hannah

"I always knew it would." - Me

A look back into a loud, cross-room math class argument about Hannah taking Amin's soul and buning it forever in the Fires of Torment and Despair because he is not he fortunate carrier of a soul license...

"Face it, you're never going to get your soul back." - Hannah

-Long argument ensues-

"Wait, none of this is real!" - Amin

Entire class: "Duh." "No way!" "Smart, Amin." "Hahaha!"

"Well, haven't you heard of the coffee shrimp?" - Hannah

"They spontaniously jump from mug to mug." - Me

"That thing that guy just threw off the roof...definately not a baby." - Me

(It really make more sense if you are lying sideways on a bench.)

"That was, like, synchronized munching! Thank you, Mimi. Your chips are the source of much amuzement!" - Hannah

"What on Earth is going on next door? It sounds like poodles are being tortured." - Green

"Okay, I need an excuse for why I am not in photography class now." - Tina

"Tell the teacher you were in the darkroom and were suddenly transported to an alternate reality." - Me

"One with nothing but shrimp!" - Deanna

"Okay, here goes: I was...there...roomgone..everywhere...SHRIMP!!" - Tina

"Pick a well known book...like...Harry Potter and the...Wizo-Fabulous Magic...Beans or some such...ness." - Green

"You know, pretty much everything we say is a reference to an inside joke. And when it's not, we're just making a new inside joke... Anybody else noticed that?" - Hannah

"It's cold" - Corrine

"It's raining..." - Deanna

"It's Washington..." - Hannah

"Really? Wait, this isn't Arizona? Dammit! No wonder I couldn't find that address!" - Me

"There is Europe and the United States. Anywhere else can be attacked by polar bears at any time." - Charlotte

HANNAH: www.fictionpress.com/~orangejello

DEANNA (I FOUND YOU!): www.fictionpress.com/~waitstoppostitnote