May you die with a sword in your hand - A Skyrim saying

1. Commissions, gifts, and trades.

I would simply love to write something for someone, a commission for something. Simply ask me- due to the fact that I have not credit card, I would do it for free, for art, or a writing trade.I also might put up some prompts on this page- stuff that pops into my head, or stuff I want to write but have no muse for.

2. Updates and interactions

Updates for my stories can be irregular, but please, my life is a bit hectic, and my muse enjoys long walks on the beach, so don't be angry. I try. I got a new computer, so I lost all my old stuff, which made me sad. I hope you enjoy looking at this page! Do not hesitate to PM me for any sane reason! Stupidity is not a sane reason... oh, and see my thing on rabies, too.

Well, I should have a list of the cool people what are my friends, I guess!

BeatleBaby1964

MidnightTheUmbreon

Nyxchick

3. Original works

I'm working on my own story. If my stuff here is late, I am so sorry, but I might have gotten distracted with my own projects!

4. Nerding out

I'm a reader, and I have some books that I absolutely adore. Kristen Kashore is amazing! Her books, Graceling and Fire, are some of the best I have ever read. I already decided- if I had a grace, it would probably be for writing. Maybe soccer, or video game playing. But probably writing. I think she is writing another one, Bitterblue. I also appreciate the books that John Flanagan wrote, he's a nice author. Allison Croggon's 'The Books of Pellinor' are pretty good, though, Lord of the Rings is pretty cool. Oh, by the way, THE NAME OF THE WIND. You must read it.

Music is fun, too! Flyleaf is one of my favorite bands, and you should listen to them some time. Christian rock, but most of the references are pretty obscure. Skillet and Three Days Grace are fine, too, and so is... Owl City. I have an odd mix of music interests. Celtic, Alternative, and some Pop. Daughtry and Rascal Flatts are cool, no? If you have any suggestions, say 'em! I don't bite unless you make me mad.

Games? Ohoho! Oblivion, Skyrim, Harvest Moon, Dragon age, all of 'em, Kameo! I love games. I do games more than I do life, sadly, and I get attached to those pixels. Be they my characters or other characters. I'm creative, what can I say? I do get a bit of inspiration from games... pet, I'm on fanfiction.net! Who doesn't love games and such here? All hail Sithis!

6. Rabids

Okay. I hope, dear God, that nobody who PMs me is what I like to call a 'rabid.' These are people who go absolutely butthurt insane over something. People who get offended at reviews and the like when I obviously mean no offense, well, you're pretty annoying. No offense. If I snap, I typically have a reason that the person I'm calling a jerk caused. I want to clear this out, because I've been yelled at before for calling someone a jerk who was threatening someone on this internet of ours.

I do not, I repeat, do not deal with rabids. They just aren't worth it. If you're joking, try to make sure that I know so that I don't just stop having anything to do with you. This is because, well, I used to be an idiot like you... then I took a brain to the head. And a life to the world. So, with that over with, let me say either hello or goodbye. If you think that you fit any of these descriptions below, please, get the pasta out of here.

[ ] Butthurt

[ ] Moronic

[ ] Easily offended

[ ] Overly offensive

[ ] Without a sense of humor

[ ] Racist

[ ] Narrow minded

[ ] Judgmental

[ ] Drunk

[ ] Illiterate

[ ] Looking for 'love.'

As time goes on, I am going to add to a little documentary about Mary Sues. I will do my best to educate people on these monstrous beings and their different forms, powers, habits, and other details. This will be put here, on my page for anyone to read. You may copy and paste it to other places, but give me credit. If I hear about someone posting and taking credit for it, I will summon a rainbow army of bunny unicorn ninjas to eviscerate your mother.

First, to describe Mary Sue, one must know who she is. Mary Sue- in her masculine incarnation, Gary Stu, Marty Stu, and other names- is the perfect character who is beautiful, important, accomplished, and lacks any major flaws. They can appear in fan fiction and original writing as both heroes and villains. They are typically very prominent in a storyline, and can occasionally be difficult to recognize.

The term Mary Sue came to represent these perfect characters when a Star Trek fan fiction author, Paula Smith, in 1973 for her parody fan fiction, A Trekkie's Tale, which was published in her fanzine Menagerie #2. The story featured Lieutenant Mary Sue, the youngest Lieutenant in the fleet- only fifteen and a half years old. She had several romances with the most important characters, such as Spock and Kirk. Mary Sue was the smartest person to ever graduate form the academy, and was very accomplished. She saved the day with wit and ability, and, when fortune favors us, will die at the end- alas, many Mary Sues live on.

Skilled writers are able to intentionally create and use Mary Sues to better a story, though do not attempt this without careful planning, as most who fall into the trap of believing they are able to use a Mary Sue end up looking like fools. If you want to write a Mary Sue, find proofreaders who will give you an honest, fair criticism. By this, I do not mean your little brother or your grandmother. I mean fellow authors who are not biased to tell you the story is good. Criticism is a powerful thing, if given correctly.

A good criticism should be thoughtful, and should attempt to include both pros and cons. Typically, Mary Sue authors cannot take these criticisms, believing that their character is fine as is- a true author is able to take criticism and use it to better their story, taking the right ideas from their reviewers.

Grammar is also important in a story. One noteworthy fan fiction, My Immortal, is nearly impossible to read. The author, Tara, created the most famous Mary Sue in the history of fan fiction. My Immortal is a Harry Potter fan fiction, containing badly written scenes that both warp plot and characters beyond recognition and worship the main character, known as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven/Tara Way. Ebony is a 'goffick' vampire who goes to school at Hogwarts, living among the divided groups of 'preppz' and 'goffz.' Tara, halfway into the story, somehow angers her beta and drags it into the story,changing Ebony's fourth name and expelling the character that represents Raven.

Dragging In Character things to Out of Character things, and vice versa, is a surefire way to ruin a story. In Character contains the plot, characters, setting, et cetera. Out of Character signifies real life- you, your friends, family, and relationships to others. When these are mixed, it creates a thoroughly unenjoyable experience for the reader.

Another problem is self insertion. Self insertion usually fulfills fantasies for the author. Self inserts are characters that resemble the author in all ways but a few- they are better, and often older, considering that many of the authors are teenagers who are obsessed with characters who are older than them. Self insertion is a form of wish fulfillment, and are created when the author wishes to be the 'special' character. One example is Bella Swan- Stephanie Meyers herself admits that she sees herself in her character, and based some of Bella's personality and experiences off of her own.

Mary Sues are associated with several cliches, including strange eye and hair color, Kirk Syndrome- when only one character can get anyone to love them- superpowers, exotic possessions, pets, or races, and overly dramatic story and origins. Often, Mary Sues are labeled because of exceptional luck- always getting the man they want, or always winning, or even just always managing to get what she wants.

There are actually several types of Mary Sue, each with a different personality for self fulfillment.

Kawaii Sue, or maybe Random Sue is often made to be something overly cute. They may have cat ears, wear overly froufrou dresses, have smaller than average, almost childlike figures, and are flawlessly cute. They are lovable, funny, maybe a bit random, and are usually naive. Sometimes characters look good as cute, so long as they have some flaws! This is Mary Sue incarnate. If you see one, run.

There is also Sad Sue, Angsty Sue, Emo Sue, or Martyr Sue. She is made to wrack up the pity points, being sad, forlorn, sometimes even brokenhearted and lovesick. This character simply demands that you bring on the waterworks, and is typically an orphan, or an abused child. No matter what, she is the one who goes through life with some huge, heartbreaking problem. Again, characters with angst mixed in can be good, if written write, but these ones are cliche, stupid, and still Sues.

Aggressive Sue! Oh, no, this one is really annoying. There is no other way to put it- she is a big, bat, hairy buttonhole pain in the neck. She's aggressive, spiteful, strong, tomboyish, but will usually have some soft spot, particularly for cute boys. Then again, all Mary Sues love cute boys. She will give tongue lashings to anyone she hates, will pick fights, will defy authority, and will just be that person you do not want to be near. Somehow, though, she manages to be amazing.

Smarty Sue is the smarty pants amazing I love books and learning Sue who is always top of her class. She can count to the 9999999999999999999th digit of Pi, can square any number, knows every Shakespeare play by heart, and is just the little teacher's pet. She may be reviled and called a nerd by some, or hailed as awesome by others. Either way, she knows everything. Period. She knows the secret of life, and where your sock went.

Oh, I hate this one. Preppy Sue. She's that gorgeous, amazing, popular, happy, and boy-loved girl that you want to be for her perfect life and unrest raining parents- and that amaaaaaazing purse. She will be rich, have amazing clothes, be the hottest/cutest/most beautiful thing ever, and will usually be nice. Mary Sue can't be mean. So, look out for her. She's annoying.

Shy Sue is one that I actually am a bit fond of. She's the quiet, withdrawn, adorable little thing that will hide from you and be adorable. She is so sweet, she will give you diabetes. So be careful.

Loud Sue is like Kawaii Sue, but she's just that loud one who is random, etc. Not always Kawaii- she might be a total tomboy. But she's the opposite of Shy Sue. Still be careful. Watch out.

Finall, Self Sue, is that one who is the author except better. Not much to generalize because everyone is unique, but she's prettier, stronger, skinnier, more popular, smarter, and just better. A bit hard to spot, so watch out.

And remember- Sues can be multiple types. Ebony Dark'ness Demention Rave/Tara Way, main character of the infamous My Immortal, is a good example of an Aggressive/Emo/Loud/Random/Self Sue.

List twelve of your favorite characters from your fandom, in no particular order.

1. Farkas

2. Vilkas

3. Aela

4. Cicero

5. Astrid

6. Nazir

7. Babette

8. Arengir

9. Ulfric Stormcloak

10. General Tullius

11. Mai'q the Liar

12. Thyra the Dragonborn

1. Have you ever read an Nazir/Mai'q fic? Do you want to?

No, and not particularly.

2. Do you think Cicero is hot? How hot?

Well, now that I think about it...

3. What would happen if Thyra got Arengir pregnant?

... that isn't physically possible, the world would explode.

4. Can you recall any fics about Ulfric?

Yes.

5. Would Vilkas and Nazir make a good couple?

No. Not at all.

6. Astrid/Ulfric or Astrid/Tullius? Why?

Astrid/Tullius- it makes more sense. The bitch sold out the Brotherhood to Maro...

7. What would happen if Babette walked in on Vilkas and Thyra making out?

She would probably turn around and walk back out. Riiiiiiight back out.

8. Make up a summary for a Aela/Tullius fic.

To Aela, there is nothing but the beast and the pack. To Tullius, the Legion is everything. When the Stormcloaks attack Whiterun, the Companions are forced into a brutal Civil war, and Tullius is forced to reconsider his opinion on love.

what am i doing

9. Is there any such thing as Farkas/Arengir fluff?

I don't believe so.

13. If you wrote a Farkas/Nazir/Mai'q fic, what would the warning be?

Warning; confusion ahead.

14. "Farkas and Babette are in a happy relationship until Ulfric runs off with Babette. Farkas, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Mai'q and a brief unhappy affair with Arengir, then follows the wise advice of Astrid and finds true love with Cicero.

What title would you give this fic?

Krosis

15. How would you react if you saw Arengir and Mai'q in a closet together with a rubber ducky?

I would walk out of the room.

16. How would you feel if Vilkas dissed you in the worst possible way ever?

But he already did. Or tried.

17. If you saw Ulfric and Aela in bed together, what would you do?

Walk out of the room.

18. You just came home from school and all of your friends hate you, your teacher just gave you an F on the most important project of the year (just imagine it happened for the smart alecks out there), and your parents have grounded you as your teacher had already called and told them of your grade. You open the door to your bedroom and you find Tullius rummaging through your stuff. What do you do?

Kick his ass.

19. What would you think if Farkas was emo and had tried to slit his/her wrists? If Farkas is already emo/slit his/her wrists already, what would you think if Farkas became the most optimistic person in the world?

Throw him into a pit of spiders, tell Vilkas, I dunno. That trip to Ysgrammor's Tomb seemed to cheer him up...

20. Vilkas and Mai'q are your teachers. What would you do?

Try not to die or listen to the liar.

21. Suggest a title for a Babette/Thyra hurt/comfort

Beastblood

List twelve of your favorite characters from your fandom, in no particular order.

1. Mahariel

2. Tamlen

3. Alistair

4. Morrigan

5. Fenris

6. Zevran

7. Wynne

8. Shale

9. Hawke

10. Orsino

11. Meredith

12. Oghren

1. Have you ever read a Zevran/Meredith fic? Do you want to?

No and no.

2. Do you think Morrigan is hot? How hot?

No. Not at all.

3. What would happen if Oghren got Shale pregnant?

I would divide by zero.

4. Can you recall any fics about Hawke?

Quite a few.

5. Would Tamlen and Zevran make a good couple?

Not at all.

6. Fenris/Hawke or Fenris/Orsino? Why?

Fenris/Hawke all the way.

7. What would happen if Wynne walked in on Tamlen and Oghren making out?

Hangover remedy.

8. Make up a summary for a Alistair/Orsino fic.

Love and lust have a huge gap, particularly for those who have a wedding ring on their finger, but misguided intentions aren't prone to listen to reason, particularly not when the person with the intent isn't entirely sane.

GOD I NEED A HOBBY.

9. Is there any such thing as Mahariel/Shale fluff?

I might say so...

13. If you wrote a Mahariel/Zevran/Oghren fic, what would the warning be?

Warning; alcohol and violence

14. "Mahariel and Wynne are in a happy relationship until Hawke runs off with Wynne. Mahariel, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Meredith and a brief unhappy affair with Zevran, then follows the wise advice of Fenris and finds true love with Morrigan.

What title would you give this fic?

Faded Dreams

15. How would you react if you saw Shale and Meridith in a closet together with a rubber ducky?

Well, first I might be surprised, then I might shrug and decide that, in this meme, more odd things have happened.

16. How would you feel if Tamlen dissed you in the worst possible way ever?

I would be sad.

17. If you saw Hawke and Alistair in bed together, what would you do?

Walk out the door.

18. You just came home from school and all of your friends hate you, your teacher just gave you an F on the most important project of the year (just imagine it happened for the smart alecks out there), and your parents have grounded you as your teacher had already called and told them of your grade. You open the door to your bedroom and you find Orsino rummaging through your stuff. What do you do?

Kick his ass.

19. What would you think if Mahariel was emo and had tried to slit his/her wrists? If Mahariel is already emo/slit his/her wrists already, what would you think if Mahariel became the most optimistic person in the world?

Keep her away from anything sharp.

20. Tamlen and Meredith are your teachers. What would you do?

Skip school.

21. Suggest a title for a Wynne/Oghren hurt/comfort

Fine Wines.

SOUNDTRACK TO YOUR LIFE

If your life were a movie what would the soundtrack be?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Win amp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.

Opening credits:

Feels Like Today by Rascal Flatts - Okay, that works.

Waking up:

Love Like Woe by The Ready Set - Okay, sure, why not?

First day at school:
Feels Like Tonight by Daughtry - ... lol

Making you new best friend:
All Around Me (Acoustic) by Flyleaf - Lindsey...

Falling in love:
Come On Get Higher by Matt Nathanson - If the boot fits...

Breaking up:
Its Not Over by Daughtry - Oooookay...

Prom:
Circle by Flyleaf - This creeps me out a bit. Listen to the song.

Graduation:
The Last Unicorn by Declan - Ahaha... yeah...

Life’s ok:
Take Me There by Rascal Flatts - Okay, normal enough...

Death of a close friend:
Storm by Lifehouse - Good God some of these fit.

Mental break down:
To the Sky by Owl City - This is how I would go insane.

Driving:
Crashed by Daughtry - I no lie to you.

Flash back:
This Is War by 30 Seconds to Mars - That's nice...

Getting back together:
Home by Daughtry - Hehm...

Birth of child:
Rainbow Veins by Owl City - Aha, no.

Wedding scene:
What Hurts the Most by Rascal Flatts - I'm scared.

Car accident:
Stand by Rascal Flatts - That is actually encouraging

Final battle:
What About Now by Daughtry - ... dramatic...

Death scene:
No Surprise by Daughtry - That's just mean.

Funeral song:
Wavin' Flag by K'naan - HECK YEAH.

End credits:

Stand In the Rain by Superchick - :D

Deleted scenes:

Shalott by Emilie Autumn - Fair enough.

mct421's meme generator, from Deviantart.

1. Farkas

2. Vilkas

3. Thyra

4. Delphine

5. Astrid

6. Cicero

7. Ulfric

8. Nazir

9. Babette

10. Aela

1. If Farkas and Ulfric were locked in the same (really small) room for longer than a day, what would most likely happen?

Unless Farkas got bored or hungry, nothing.

2. Do you miss Aela?

She just hangs around Jorrvaskr, I can just go talk to her if I play Skyrim...

3. What is or would be a good nickname for Vilkas?

Firecrotch.

4. Oh no, Babette got kidnapped by aliens! What do you say once they get back?

Hey, how's it going, you need to drink some blood? Sithis missed you, blah, I don't know.

5. Describe Thyra in five words.

Charismatic, strong, even-headed, fair, brave, determined

6. Have you ever been in Nazir's house?

He lives in the Dark Brotherhood Sanctuaries. In order to meet him, you must visit his home.

7. What if you found out that Delphine was secretly an alien plotting to take over the world together with Astrid?

Topic unrelated. Next.

8. Do you think Ulfric is a virgin?

No.

9. Astrid just got vaporized in a freak accident. Now what?

That traitor is already a charred body, so...

10. What would Cicero not be caught dead in?

A prison?

Mall MemeRules
1. Pick ten characters in any order.
2. Write answers according to the questions.
3. HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4. Try not to plan it out.Characters

1. Thyra
2. Farkas
3. Vilkas
4. Brelyna
5. Ilona the Thief Dovahkiin
6. Nazir
7. Ulfric
8. Tullius
9. Queen Alfsigr
10. Brynjolf

Questionz

1. Queen Alfsigr is at a shoe store, what do they buy?
Horseshoes.

2. The clerk is Farkas. How does Alfsigr bother them?
Beg for carrots? Kick his face? ... does this make Farkas a farrier?

3. Nazir is at the food court with Vilkas. What do they spill on themselves?
Vilkas would spill ale, mead, and deli meat all over them both. Nazir might spill some blood, but that's it.

4. Ulfric sees them struggling do they help and how?
He might laugh at them a bit. Maybe throw napkins at them.

5. Thyra and Brynjolf are at Victoria's Secret, WHAT GOES DOWN?
... much confusion. First, how did anyone get Thyra in a fancy looking pink store? Both would be red, anyways, and Thyra would be trying not to suffocate on the perfume.

6. Brelyna is mall security. How do they feel about their job?

She's probably practicing her magic and turning people green, letting every thief get past. Brynjolf and Ilona would love this, at least.

7. Ilona and Tullius get into a fight. Why and where?
I SHALL WRITE YOU THE MEME OF MY PEOPLE.

Ilona was drenched in sweat, fists clenched where she stood before the Stormcloak General. Both were panting, Ilona sported a bloody nose, and Tullius a black eye added to a split lip for both. Shaking with rage, Ilona kept her icy blue eyes narrowed, tossing her head to throw hair behind her shoulder.

"Sodding milk drinker," she slurred. Was the floor spinning? "You can't... touch me! I'm an Agent of N-"

"Lass, no," said a steady voice. "You don't fight the General drunk." Ilona rounded on Brynjolf, stumbling slightly and holding a hand to her bloody face.

"I'm not drunk!" she whined. "I can touch my nose! And anyways, he tried to cut my head off!"

"You were with the damn Stormcloaks!" argued Tullius. "You don't really think I'd risk sparing one?"

"Fus-" began Ilona, only for Brynjolf to tackle her to the ground. As it was, Tullius was staggerd. "Brynjolf, I can't sodding breathe!"

"You're drunk," he said flatly, and sighed. "Lass, we should get you back to Riften..."

"To the Ragged Flagon!"

"No."

8. Brelyna is called down to stop the fight. Who is arrested?
Before the two could leave, Brelyna was upon them.

"Stop right there, criminal scum!" she said. "You violated the law! You attacked the Imperial Military Governor! Off to jail!" Ilona looked stunned, and Brynjolf cleared his throat.

"Lass, my friend here did not mean to attack-"

"Shut it, I want to get back to perfecting this spell!" said Brelyna. "Just let me haul her off and you can do something later!"

Ilona groaned. "But you wouldn't hurt a drunkard," she said, and promptly vomited.

9. Nazir bails them out. How do they feel about this?
Confused, but unconcerned. The two guilds are, after all, sort of alliy-esque.

10. Alfsigr finds a hundred dollar bill on the floor. What do they do?
Eats it- she is a horse.

11. Ulfric lost a hundred dollar bill. Do they flip out?
No. He's the richie rich Jarl of Windhelm.

12. Farkas meets up with Thyra and Brynjolf at the dollar store. What do they buy?
Health Potions, water, bandages, frozen food, a blanket, a stuffed animal, some chew toys, dog treats, bacon, a broom, and lockpicks.

13. Someone falls asleep on a bench. Who is it and what happens when they snore?
A drunken Ilona, asleep on the bench, wakes herself up snoring. Multiple times. Then she falls back asleep after drinking some water to help her hangover. Brelyna also dozes off, fingers twitching to cast a random spell each time she snores. She manages to set a plastic tree on fire.

14. What happens next?
Ilona and Brynjolf return to the Ragged Flagon, with Ilona loaded onto her horse, Alfsigr, who is looking snazzy in her new shoes. These two end up drinking more at the Flagon, and having the Hangover To End All Hangovers. Farkas, Vilkas, and Thyra run off hearing rumors of a nearby dragon. They go back to Jorrvaskr, also drinking, then Thyra runs off to hunt in werewolf form with Aela. Brelyna returns to the collage, and just sits around with her buddy the Archmage, and the Archmage Aceline's husband, Marcurio, who did not come because they were messing with potions and spells. They just be mages. Nazir returns to the Sanctuary and Astrid and such, just derping out. Until Thyra kills them, too. Ulfric and Tullius go back to warring. Then everything goes back to normal. Until Thyra hits the RELOAD button.

Dialogue Meme

Thyra

You are asked to assassinate a local politician known for tax corruption.

Never! That is hardly the right thing to do, tell the Jarl.

Sparky, your family dog, is lost in the Forest of Death.

Let us go to save him! Onward, friends!

Your childhood friend sells you out to the guards in exchange for an audience with the mayor's daughter.

What!? How could you!? Traitor! Milk drinker!

You need the key to save your betrothed, but taking it releases a powerful demon on the populace.

If this is the end, then Nine preserve us! I will not let you die, Farkas, my love!

You are asked to set sail with strangers to foreign lands.

No, I will stay in Skyrim, I believe. I have responsibilities, and I like it here.

The new kid at work keeps spilling drinks, and you know him.

I can spill enough on me when I get drunk, thanks.

A stranger offers you a ride along the road.

No, Queen Alfie has me covered, thanks.

An elected official insults your way/views of life.

I will not tolerate this! You know nothing of me!

A mysterious stone falls from space not far from where you live.

Shall we investigate it?

Your country goes to war.

For the Nords! For Skyrim! For Talos! For Ysgrammor!

You get out of hand at a party and get thrown out.

I am the Thane of Whiterun, treat me with respect!

Someone steals from you.

Hey! Stop right there, and hand it over!

You see the one who tried to kill your sibling.

You... I give you one chance to leave and never let me see your face again. One.

An attractive member of the opposite sex is flirting with you in public.

No, actually, I am married, if you didn't know.

A great and evil beast rises up before you.

Quickly, men, kill it!

It's the big day and you don't have the right clothes.

... oh, sod it, oops.

You know both sides of the argument, but can only pick one.

I will remain neutral, if that's fine with you, thanks.

A precious family heirloom has gone missing, and you are the prime suspect.

How dare you! I would never stoop to petty thievery!