Poll: In my story, Bloody Cherry Blossom, should I make Naruto a vampire as well? Vote Now! |
![]() Author has written 11 stories for Naruto, Yu Yu Hakusho, Women of the Otherworld, Vampire Knight, Gaia Online, and Darkest Powers. Notices: Feb. 16, 2010 KAKUZU'S CHAPTER OF H.T.A.Y.A.A.E. POSTED! Also posted a story I wrote for the 2009 GaiaOnline holiday story writing contest, just because I could. Next chapter of Craziness At Cross Academy about half done, to be posted (hopefully...) within the next week. Need to type up Angel Sanctuary one-shot still. Notices: Feb. 9, 2010 Okay, yeah, still have yet to update anything. Again, no excuse, other than school sucks. (Please realize that my Biology teacher doesn't accept late work, so most of my study hall time is spent getting as much homework out of the way as possible. And the there's the Illuminated Manuscripts project in Latin... I hate doing homework at home... And by the time I get home, I'm usually exhausted anyway and end up napping for a few hours.) But, break is coming up next week, so lots of time to write & type...! If I get my lazy self out of bed, that is. Uumm, yeah, soo... The readers of How To Amuse Yourself At Akatsuki's Expense will be happy to know that I've been working semi-diligently on Kakuzu's chapter. It's coming along-- slowly, but it is coming. I plan to enlist the help of my friend in this, so fear not; it WILL be updated, even if I have to go to the... -shudders- dance, as a bribe for help. (See what I do for you people?!) First chapter of my PoT fanfiction to be typed and posted soon. Like as soon as I come up with a title... And I have an Angel Sanctuary one-shot completed as well. (I love it when my English teacher is so involved in his monologue that he pays no attention to whether we're actually listening or not! :3) So, yeah. Expect those soon. Notices: Jan. 19, 2010 Yes, I know that I said I'd try to update soon, but... Okay, so haven't got an excuse this time. I have midterms/semester exams (whatever you want to call them) this week. Basically the schedule is Today: English and Bio. (Don't think I died.) Tomorrow: Latin, Study hall (can't have an exam in study hall; going home early, hopefully to type until my fingers bl-- hurt. I don't want blood all over my beloved laptop!) Thursday: Algebra (that one's in the bag~), Computer science (not so much in the bag, but I'm not going to loose sleep over it.) Friday: American Studies I. (100 matching questions! THANK YOU, MR. H.B.!! XD). Yeah, we only have seven periods, so I'm thinking I can get my mom to pick-- oh wait, Al's kidnapping me on Friday. Never mind. Right, so, I'll try to update SOMETHING tomorrow, if not more than one thing, but I don't know if I will; there's a reason my mother calls me The Great Procrastinator. (My cousin Ryan says he holds claim to that title- lies!) In other news, I'm back into Prince of Tennis after not thinking too much about it since Toonami stopped airing episodes. (Speaking of which, there seems to be a lack of Toonami at all; it seems to have died after they stopped airing Naruto.) Xei, if you're reading this, I know what you're thinking: "Aneki, you disappoint me." Please, spare me the rant, I'm entitled to like things that you do not. At least I'm not driven by the very fact that you dislike it, unlike Jenny with Futurama. Well, not much, at least. ;) I like it because I enjoy the characters, the humor, and the fact that this is the one anime/manga I've been into lately that doesn't make me want to kill the manga-ka for killing off a character I like or putting in plot twists that make me scream and/or twitch in disbelief. (How did you like Vampire Knight vol. 8, by the way? -smirks sadistically-) Touching on another subject that has come up, I've recently been told by certain persons (coughXEIANcough) that I have "too many OCs." Given the fact that I have several for just about every fandom I write in, I suppose that you could say so. But let me clear this one thing up: I DON'T GIVE A CRAP. I write fanfiction purely for my own enjoyment and that of my readers. (Xei, you yourself said, "I don't mind your OCs because they're good... not Mary Sues") When an idea pops into my head for a story, and there aren't any characters I can use in a certain role without them being completely OOC, I use an OC instead. Or if I just want to add another element to the story. I find that it makes my stories, at least in my own opinion, more creative and flexible while cutting down any flames that "that character would never do this -insert rant here-". If you don't like OCs, that's fine; everyone's entitled to their own opinion. But other people do like them, some even looking specifically to read stories with original characters for the reasons I've listed and probably a few more. We don't want flames or lectures, just constructive critisism and for people to enjoy our stories and to enjoy stories ourselves. So, spare us the rants for writing and liking, we aren't forcing you to read anything. (Well, sometimes I do, but only my own fics. For certain reasons, I haven't even been doing that lately, so if I have issues I have to sort them out on my own or hold another poll. Great fun, that. Not.) Things I haven't Posted Yet I'm working on a GodchildXAngel Sanctuary cross-over fic (No flaming- same author, same manga-verse as far as I'm concerned and anyone else can suffer the consequences of calling Mika-chan short.) I've got part of the first chapter written, and a title picked out, so that's a good start as far as I'm concerned. It's called Rumours About Angels, which I thought would work after listening to the song while writing it. Maybe I'll have it posted soon, maybe I won't. WARNINGS: OCs, language, possible suggestive themes, blood&gore, general morbidness, and whatever else I decide to throw in there while I'm high on caffeine and/or sugar. I've also got another NARUTO fic that I haven't touched since last October that I'm not quite sure what to do with. I think I'll just post what I have and hold a poll to decide. Actually, I don't even think I have a title for it yet... I'll end up posting it as "Untitled" and you can all give me suggestions. WARNINGS: slight AU(alernate universe), language (UPDATE: Still haven't touched it. Probably won't; meaning it might not get posted after all. Then again, who knows with me?) In addition to this, there's a Yu Yu Hakusho fic I'm writing(does that have a title yet either...?) I have the first chapter written, and part of the second. WARNINGS: slight AU, OCs, language Then there's the YYHXSaiyuki Reload cross-over Xei dared me to write. I've read most of Saiyuki Reload, and I love it. Haven't written anything in it yet, but the plot is well on it's way! WARNINGS: OCs, language, high possibility for gore and mayhem. (UPDATE: I don't think I'll be writing this after all; I haven't even started it yet, and by ow it's been so long since I last thought of it, I doubt I'd be finishing it anyway. So, I'm going to save us all some grief and just not even start.) And a Yu-Gi-Oh! fic I haven't started actually writing yet, but like the others, the plot is developing well. WARNINGS: OCs, slight AU, possible language (UPDATE: Again, haven't thought about this in a while. Might start it at a later date, but for now, it just isn't going to happen. Too much else going on in my head...) ~Sadist-chan xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Hi! I'm Sadistic Kunoichi 13, though my friends call me by many other names (and depending on the mood they're in, not all of those names are nice.) Okay, there's alot of things about me to put on here, so if you could really care less, and just want to know what other fics I've written, then I sugest that you pull the bar down to the bottom of the page and just skip all my babbling. Here's some basic information, I'll elaborate later. FAVORITE ANIME/MANGA: (Oh, dear gawds, this is going to take forever) Naruto, Yu Yu Hakusho, Rurouni Kenshin, The Cain Saga, Godchild, Demon Diary, Death Note, MeruPuri, Fruits Basket, Vampire Knight, Vampire Game, Millennium Snow, Yume Kira Dream Shoppe, Vampire Doll, Yurara, Ouran High School Host Club, Wolf's Rain, Tail of the Moon, Blood + (plus), Bleach, Inu Yasha, Hell Girl, Loveless, xxxHOLiC, MY FRIENDS: BlackRoseOfTheGrave: other names: Xeian, Xei-Xei, Chigiri (Destiny in Japanese), "Pain in My Ass" (what I call her when she bothers me.); Things she calls me to get on my nerves: Danna, Tori-danna, Tori no Danna, Mommy; Facts about her: loves paranormal, anime/manga, Avril songs Dusk-Blood Ninja-Monkey Heart: Nicknames: Bloody-chan, Gaki (brat in Japanese), Ketsueki (blood in Japanese), Brat, Dusky; WHAT SHE CALLS ME: Lynnifred (I think she was high on something), Tori-chan, Sadie-chan, Sadist-chan, Lynnie, Nee, Nee-chan The Tawny Piglet(fmr) now Massachusettes: real name: Jenny; nicknames: Piggy, Tawny, Grammah Police (heh heh . . . I wrote that on her Spring Fling T-shirt); things she calls me: Leafy, Leafy-G, Leaf-paw, Anime-Obsessed Pig, Lynnie, Pig Whore, you whore! (the last two only when she's upset at me, or I did something stupid(which I seem to do at least every other day)); favorite thing to scream randomly in class: "LEGALIZE POT!" Kerri: (doesn't have a fanfiction account as far as I know) Nickname: Escebichette Pickle (don't ask, even I don't know; I'm not even sure if I want to!) Facts: Quiet . . . very quiet. Doesn't talk that much. Nice, though. Corinna: (doesn't have a fanfiction account as far as I know) Facts: loves Pirates of the Carribean and Harry Potter NAME: Lynnie (Evelyn) NICKNAMES (this list does not include any of the names my friends or others use for me when they're mad at me): LeafPaw (spinoffs of this include: Leafy(actually, that's more commonly used than LeafPaw, but oh well), Leafy-G, Leafshizzle, Leafstah (I know, my friends are strange.) END SPINOFFS), Lynnifred, Tori, Lynnster, Lyn-Lyn, Lynlie, Danna (only Destiny calls me that, and only because she knows it gets on my nerves.), Pain in My Ass (my mother), Brat, Ecronin (yea, I know it sounds like a drug. Just don't ask. The only thing i will say on the subjest is: teachers should be more careful when assighning school internet names! GAWD!) NAMES I'M CALLED WHEN PEOPLE ARE UPSET WITH ME: "you whore!" "pig-whore" "Evelyn Mary!" "Brat" (you see what I mean? People are so hurtful -sarcasm-) FAVORITE BOOK SERIES: Dark-Hunter/Dream-Hunter series by Sherrilyn Kenyon (quote: "We're not the damned, folks, we're the catigorically fucked."--Urian) MY STORIES: NARUTO: Bloody Cherry Blossom- (Haven't updated in a while. See top of notifications at top as to why.) Pairing: GaaraXSakura. Vamp fic. Rating: T(may change to M) Status: on-going How To Amuse Yourself At Akatsuki's Expense WOMEN OF THE OTHER WORLD: The Good Woman's Curse- (written at 3am on impulse. Probably why I have no reviews. -is sad-) Rating: T Status: Complete Frostbite- My version of Frostbitten. Rating: T, possibly changing to M Neophyte Witches Say the Darndest Things- (written under the influence of cold medicine and lack of sleep.) Under xovers w/ Kelley's Darkest Powers series. THE WE HATE KARIN CLUB: If you hate Karin from NARUTO, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Pink Cresent Moon, Miyako-hime, XSakuraHarunoX, xnarutoxrocksx.uchihasakurah26, Sasusakufan2357, Coscat, Kontraband, Erendhyl, BlackRoseOfTheGrave, Sadistic Kunoichi-13 PANTS GAME(okay, I learned this game from my friend Casey in 8th grade, who brought it up to make reading our assigned books for Gervais's book reports more interesting. Basically, you replace a random word in a quote or sentence with the word "pants." These are the results.) "I know as much of pants as I do of hugs and puppies, and care for them even less. Wake me for the end of the world." --Hiei Jaganshi, Yu Yu Hakusho QUOTES (8th grade) Mr.Gibson: I don't stop the watch when your butt crosses the line. Me: O.O ! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Destiny: What's with Kisame's big sword? Me: It eats chakra. Destiny: So it's a hungry sword . . . Me: o.O . . . Do you realize what you just said! Destiny: Lynnie! If we weren't on the phone I'd hit you! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Me (talking about fan fiction): . . . So then, Gaara said- Jenny: Steve. Me: -that she was -- Wait, WHAT! Jenny: STEVE. Call him "Steve". Me: -sigh- Anyway, so Gaara said . . . xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Destiny(in the middle of a conversation with Casey and Corinna): Jenny's a green bead, I'm not gonna throw her across the room! Me (just starting to pay attention): WHAT! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Destiny: What are we doing in science? Me: Speed. Destiny: O.O -2 seconds later- -runs to the other side of the gym and hides behind Corinna- xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Allyce: How'd we end up so weird anyway? Me: I think my weirdness may have something to do with the fact that I got addicted to Yu Yu Hakusho when I was seven. Allyce: I got addicted to something slightly worse when I was seven. Me: What was it? Allyce: -whispers answer- Me: OH MY GAWD! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Destiny (apparently Kerri stepped on her foot): Give me back my foot! It's for my own personal use! Me(coughs): -ahem- Destiny: -punches Lynnie in the back of the head- Me: OW! YOU HIT ME! -2 1/2 minutes later- Me: Now I have a headache, damn you! Destiny: -smiles innocently- : 3 Me: -glares at Destiny- xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Mr. McGlaughlin: Somebody made a website that says "OBAMA IS YOUR NEW BICYCLE". Everyone in class: O.O/O.o Me (thinking): That is just sick and wrong! Do you KNOW what that implies! It implies VERY WRONG THINGS! I mean GAWD! What the hell is wrong with these people! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Destiny (who was angry at Allyce because she (Allyce) was being a baka): I'm going to say one thing and hope Ms. Foreman doesn't hear me; if she does, that could be very bad for me: YOU RIG-TIG-FRIGGER! Me and Casey: -laughs hysterically- xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Destiny: I'm going to flip a nutty. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Destiny: You. Are. Deadsies. Me: I'm putting that on my profile too : ) Destiny: I hate you. Destiny: I will kill you. Me: Okay, now you're just begging me to add things to my profile. Destiny: Do you have a death wish? -- 2 minutes later-- Destiny: snar-el snar-el Me: stop immitating Koenma's video tape. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Destiny: I accidentally left my spoon in my icecream concoction that I stuck in the freezer. Now it's stuck! It was the cute one with the dalmations on it too! Me: Ummmmm . . . Destiny: I did not just shout that out loud. Me: Uh, yeah, ya did. Destiny: Don't even think it. Me: Think what? -innocent expression- Destiny: you know what I mean. What are you thinking. Me: Me? Oh, nothing, nothing at all. -types conversation on profile- xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Allyce: -waves a piece of ham at us in way that is WRONG- Casey: Oh, god! It reminds me of something I saw on Doctor Who; except the thing on Doctor Who was living. Me: I don't even WANNA know. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Me: Hey, mom, Destiny just gave me a bedtime! my mother: . . . Okaaaaayy . . . xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Destiny: You are going to bed early tonight. Be in bed by ten. I don't want a repeat of what happened the first day of school last year in Ms. Basler's class. Me: Hey, it was only one time! And I'd stayed up all night. Destiny: I don't care, you're still going to bed by ten! Or else you're getting spankings! Me: What, did you enlist Koenma's help while I wasn't looking? Destiny: Yes. And if you don't do what I say, you're getting spankings. Me: 'Kay, so who's going to be spanking me? Destiny: How about Toguro? Me: HELL NO! Destiny: Fine. Let's see . . . You'd enjoy it too much if it was Kurama or Hiei. Plus, Hiei would probably kill you, and Kurama would go easy on you. Me: Well, then, how about Youko? Destiny: No! He's a full demon, and you know how those demons can get in those situations! Me: Exactly. Destiny: No! We can't have you enjoying your punishment. Especially that kind of fun! Me: -pouts- Destiny: Okay, how about the elder Toguro? (I can practically see her evil smirk at the other end of the telephone) Me: Oh, EFF, no! Destiny: What about Karasu or Bui? Me: Karasu I could deal with; Bui, on the other hand would kill me with his freaking ax! Destiny: Yes, yes he would. Okay, how about Botan? She could hit you with her oar. Me: That's not spankings! She only hit's you in the head! Destiny: Yea, but the oar would be cumfortable. Me: I don't even wanna know what your thinking I'm gonna be doing on that oar. Destiny: Genkai? Me: No! She'd kill me! Destiny: How about the bouncer for the Dark Tournament? Me: EWWW! Why not Jin or Touya? Destiny: As I've said, we cannot have you enjoying this. -sigh- Well, we've pretty much exhausted the list of Yu Yu Hakusho characters. Now, let's try Naruto! How about Jiraiya? Me: No! Destiny: Itachi? Me: If anyone from Naruto is going to be spanking me, it better be either Sasori or Deidara! . . . Or Gaara, I could deal with Gaara. Destiny: (pause) (then:) Oh bugger! Hey, I have to get off the phone now, we'll continue this tomorrow at school. Me: Fine! See ya tomorrow. Me (thinking): Ya know, when we get to school tomorrow and just randomly start talking about this, Jenny's gonna be like "WTF!" and Casey's gonna be all "Wha-?"; and I don't even wanna think about what'll happen if Mr. Gervais hears us! (TO BE CONTINUED??) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Me: Hey, Mom, I found this really cool song from the 80's! My Mom: Really. What song is it? Me: It's called "I Used To Love Her, But I Had To Kill Her" My Mom: -laughs- xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Destiny: Oh, god, Mr. Gervais was singing again. Me: Oh no, what is it this time? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Jenny: OW!! Jesus!! The desk bit me!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Suigetsu: Where's the water?! Karin: The water is gone. Suigetsu: WHY IS THE WATER GONE?! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Silvia: In the bible, there was only Adam and Eve, so everyone would be related if that were true. Me -mumbles-: Oh, great, world-wide incest! (sarcasm) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx After Derick's turn being student-teacher in charge of correcting our homework . . . Forest: He wants your job, Mr. McGlaughlan; he wants YOU! Me: O.O Forest, that's WRONG!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (9th grade) Mrs. Chappel: Can anyone come up with a sentence for "ethnicity"? Yes, John. John: "I am my own ethnicity." Mrs. Chappel: Thank you, Adolf Hitler. Anyone else? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Al (who likes a new boy in GSA): What should I do?! Me: How the heck should I know?! I have zero experience with this crap! Al: I know! Just, what do you think I should do?! Me: -remembers Day of Silence is next friday- -grins like a crazy person- -stifles laughter- Okay. How about you wait until Friday when neither of you can talk, wait until I'm around with new camera, and kiss him! That way, he can't say anything about it! Al: Lynnie! Not what I had in mind! Me: -laughs whilst speaking-Awww, c'mon, it's perfect! If he kisses back, we'll know he likes you; if he just kinda stands there, well, it could be either one. It's the only way to know for sure! Al: Lynnie! I need something a bit better than that! Me: -calms down somewhat- Hey, from me, this is a stroke of genius. Al: Yeah, I know, from you, but I still need something better! Think! Me: -pouts- Ruin all my fun. . . xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Me: -watching Deadliest Warrior marathon- Mom: Why are you watching that? Me: There's nothing else on . . . Mom: NCIS is on. Me: Yeah, but this has blood. And half-naked guys. You see now why this is more appealing to the hormonal teenager. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx "Remember that a bastard never won a war by dying for his country; he won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country," -- General Patton xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (10th grade) Suspect: Look, I'm telling you, it's impossible. I didn't rob that guy! Police: Why is it impossible? Suspect: 'Cause I was robbing somebody else! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Al: wait, what was I just doing? I know there is a method to my madness, but... Me: Are you sure about that? Al: No. Not anymore, I'm not. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (at 10 pm during sleepover at Al's...) Al: Awww. wasn't that so cute, Nee-chan? Me: Am currently dead. Please leave a message and will get back to you upon reincarnation in the morning. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Al: -wakes me up with phone call while I'm sick- Me: -answers with a groan- What?! Al: Lynnie I was worried about you. You weren't in school today! Me: -deadpans- I'm sick. Al: Oh, are you feeling better yet? Me: No. And my cold medicine made me sleepy- You woke me up!! Al: Oh. -pause- You want me call back later? Me: No Al: So you'd rather talk to me now? Me: No Al: So you don't want to talk to me ? Me: Correct~! Al: THAT'S MEAN! Here I am worried about you and you don't want to talk to me?! That's not very nice! Me: I'm sick, tired, and I don't feel very good! Al: Well, you usually don't feel very good when you're sick Me: -growls- I'm TIRED! -hangs up- Al: -calls back- Hi Lynnie! . Me: -growls- thinking: I'm gonna keeeellll you!! Al: You hung up on me. Me: I KNOW I DID!! Al: Well I'm sure it was an accident. Me: It wasn't! Al: That's not very nice! The least you could've done was say, "bye"! Me: -growls more- Al: Why did you hang up the phone on me? Me: Because I'm sick. And I'm tired. And you woke me UP!! Al: Fine, be that way! Me: I will! Al: Well, you're being mean. I'm gonna go so you can get some rest so you won't be so cranky and you can get better soon. Me: Good! (Finally!!) Al: Bye-bye Lynnie! . Me: -growls- Bye. --5 minutes later-- -phone rings- Me: -picks up phone- I thought you said you'd stop calling me! Al: Well... I forgot to tell you that I finished your book. Do you want me to bring it to school tomorrow? Me: -sigh/growls- I won't be in school tomorrow. Al: Why not?! Me: BECAUSE YOU WON'T LET ME GET BACK TO SLEEP!! Al: ... Oh... I'll let you get back to sleep then. So I can see you tomorrow. Me: Good night! Al: Lynnie, it's only four. I don't go to sleep for a couple more-- Me: Good NIGHT!! Al: See you tomorrow Lynnie. . Me: Maybe. Al: No "maybe", I'll see you tomorrow. Me: Maybe. Al: No "maybes". I haven't seen you all week, I'll see you tomorrow! Me: Can I go now? Please?! Al: Oh and Lynnie, get some rest. . Me: -strangles/shakes phone- That's what I was doing until you woke me up and wouldn't LEAVE ME ALONE!! Al: Oh. ...Right. Well... Good night, Lynnie! Er... Good afternoon- No, good eve- Me: BYE!! Al: Bye-bye! . And get some rest! Me: -growls- I will. Once you leave me alone! Al: Okay~ bye- bye. Me: GOOD BYE! -HANGS-UP PHONE- (okay, that actually happened in 9th grade, but whatever, I'm posting it now!) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Al: What do you say to a goth in bed? Jenny: I CAN believe it's not butter! (again, actually happened in 8th grade) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (at work after-hours when we stay w/ Xei's mom to help clean the bathrooms) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Al: I'm not violent, I'm not violent, I'm not violent, I'm- I'm gonna keel him!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (I'm at Al's and Al is hugging me) Al: I have the strongest urge to bite you now... Me: Do it and DIE. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Me: I want to know if there are any specific signs that a guy is being driven mentally insane by someone he likes. Al: he does the same things you do. Me: -glares- anything else? I sit in the back corner and stare at the back of his head. He can't do that, because he SITS IN FRONT OF ME! Al: well, he could turn around and ask you questions, or just look at you or... -makes obcene hand and mouth jestures- Me: -wacks Al in the back of the head- Al: Well, he COULD! Mine did that to me... ahhh, poor Senor... Me: Dare I ask? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Me: Just to be clear, I'm asking ye who has had many boyfriends: His actions yesterday indicate that he's only interested in a purely physical relationship, yes? Al: Yeah, he's only interested in your ta-tas. Me: But he wasn't touching my "ta-ta"'s, he was touching my thigh. If he was touching my ta-tas I would have smacked him over the head. Probably with my stainless-steel water bottle. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Me: Eeeep! My DNA! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Jesse (on the phone trying to help me w/ my internet issues): Is it a clear shot from your laptop to your router? Me: Well yeah, except for the computer chair and currently a human. -referring to Al using desk-top computer- Jesse: -joking (I think)- Well, that could do it; humans do generate electrical fields... Me: Hmmm... Hey Allyce!! YOU'RE GENERATING AN ELECTRICAL FIELD, YOU'RE GONNA BLOW UP!! Al: O.O WHAT?! -jumps up from chair- Me: -laughing like crazy- Nothing, I'm kidding! Al: YOU NEARLY GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK!! DX Me: -still laughing- Sorry, sorry... Jesse: -chuckles- Nice, Lynnie. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Me: -gets up- Augh! You got the taste of that in my mouth when I tested to see if it was spicy, now I want some chicken, damnit!! Mom: We don't have Chicken Damnit, we have Chicken Fillets. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Al: -puts arm around me and nuzzles me as we're walking out of the library- Me: -points to Al's arm- See this? This is why people think we're dating. Al: -confused- But I do this to everyone... Me: And that is why people think you're cheating on me. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Director: Why are you acting like this? Yakko: -whispers- We're not acting, we really are like this. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx "Maiasaurs are outstanding in their field. And that's exactly where Daspletasaurs like to find them: out standing, in a field." -- Dinosaur Planet, Little Das' Hunt xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx "Buck is a young male, Blaze, an immature female. The game they've chosen is called Walk Away From the Herd, and Let Everyone Know About It. By teen standards, it's already a roaring success." -- Dinosaur Planet, Little Das' Hunt xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx "It was a toss-up between the Devil and the giraffe. The Devil won." -- My mother xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Xei: ... You really have no life, do you? Me: If I had no life, this fic would've been finished months ago. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Ryan(my cousin): (to Uncle Bob R.) So, how young are you now, Dad? Auntie Penny (his mom): He's not. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx "Chemistry is the combining of math and science for the valiant goal of making things go boom." -- Me xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx "Methinks the difference between feminist (in a man's case) and spoony lecher is paper-thin." -- Kohaku, Ningyou Kyuutei Gakudan xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx "Oh look, my tax dollars at work, coming to arrest me." -- National Treasure xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Elizabeth Swann: This is madness. Captain Jack Sparrow: This is politics. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Me: Congratulations; you've entered the Circle of Life Err... the next stage in it. Maybe. We're not sure yet, but maybe. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx day after my 16th birthday when we stayed up until 1 a.m. watching all 3 Pirates of the Caribbean movies Mom: Oy, you've brought me back 16 years. I was tired and cranky this day 16 years ago too. ... No I wasn't, I was on morphine! I felt nothing! I was happy! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Mom: Guess who got their drivers' license today; it's a scary thought. Me: Who? WHO?! Mom: Gage M. Me: -screams bloody murder- Al (at the other end of the phone): -laughs like a maniac- -pauses abruptly- Actually, that is kinda scary... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Back to 8th grade again Me: -looking at my test score for one of Mr. Gervais's tests- Hey, I did better than Yusuke! (episode of YYH) Al: what'd you get? Me: I got a 13! : ) -proud of myself- xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Al (outside my Biology classroom trying to get my attention because she has my laptop): Lynnie! Ppppsssstttt! LYNNIIIIIEEEE! Me: -turns- What?! Al: Come here! Me: I'm in the middle of class! Mrs. Bartlett (my bio teacher): -walks over the classroom door Al's standing at- (to Allyce) Are you bothering my student? Al: Ummmm... yes? Mrs. Bartlett: Oh, okay. Continue. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Mom: Lynnie, your cat got into my room again. (Rhoda's not allowed in there usually) -goes into the living room- Me: -goes into mom's room- (four minutes later) Me: Hey mom, look what I got! I'll give ya a hint: It's not a jar of dirt! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx My mother: -talking about the puzzle she's doing online- I lost the last friggin' piece! How do you lose a piece to a virtual puzzle!? Me: good question. (thinking: That's what I'd like to know...) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Marshall: Once upon a time, there was a very happy marshal named Marshall, and a very unhappy marshal named Mary, and the moral of the story is that good things happen to all who comes to Albuquerque;except you. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx "I refuse to star in your psychodrama." -- Nero, Sherrilyn Kenyon's The League series xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx "Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?" -- Zarina, Sherrilyn Kenyon's The League series xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx "The prospect of him slipping on one of his pickled brains is just too good to be true" -- Charles Darwin's brother xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Me: -playing with my cat, Rhoda- You're such a nice kitty! Rhoda: -sinks teeth and claws into my hand enough to hurt, but not draw blood- Me: OW! Fresh kitty! See this here, this is the opposite of nice! Rhoda: -blinks at me cutely before scratching me again- |
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