Warning: Sexual themes and profanity, Parental Advisory Suggested. If you are under 18, please leave now. Or stay. I don't really give a shit.

Name: Tori

Age: 16

Sex: Tis of the female persuasion

Orientation: I like other girls. 'nough said.

Likes: My friends, the beach, Disneyland, shopping, hitting on girls, drawing, writing, being vulgar, reading comics and manga, watching movies, playing video games, sleeping, Disney movies, reading, California, big cities, milk chocolate, drinking milk straight from the carton, pasta, watching anime, three dimensional characters, Batman, going to the movies, gorging in food and then sleeping it off, talking during movies, quoting movies, quoting movies and people getting the quote, being on boats, bus rides, Graphic Design class, Spike TV, Logo, Gay-Straight Alliance meetings, Chuck Palahniuk books

Dislikes: Twilight, Homophobes, Nazis (Except for Edward Norton and Edward Furlong), Nicolas Cage, Nickleback, penis, math class, being awake, mornings, silence, Jar Jar Binks, plotless movies, being a slave to corporate America

More Crap About Me:

Favorite Movies: American History X, Fight Club, RENT, Repo! The Genetic Opera, Boys Don't Cry, An American Crime, Sweeney Todd, Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Dark Knight, Inglourious Basterds, Batman Begins, Watchmen, 21, Donnie Darko, Bent, Gran Torino, The Good the Bad and the Ugly, Step Brothers, A Christmas Story, The Karate Kid, The Outsiders, Ghostbusters, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Alice In Wonderland (Disney), The Hunchback of Notre Dame (Disney), A Clockwork Orange, Follow that Bird, Wanted, Cabin Fever, PeeWee's Big Adventure, House of 1000 Corpses, Halloween, Devils Rejects, El Superbeasto

Favorite Music: The Beatles, The Eagles, The Mamas and the Papas, The Dresden Dolls, My Chemical Romance, Green Day, Panic at the Disco, Mindless Self Indulgence, Deftones, Orgy, The Pixies, Placebo, Nirvana, Billy Idol, The Cure, The Sex Pistols, The Ramones, Frank Sinatra, Barry Manilow, Depeche Mode, Lit, Michael Jackson, Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn Manson, The Killers, Elvis Presley, Rob Zombie

Favorite Books: Fight Club, Choke, Survivor, Diary, Haunted, Rant, Snuff, A Clockwork Orange, Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass, The Outsiders, That Was Then This Is Now, Roots

Favorite TV Shows: Family Guy, Robot Chicken, The Simpsons, The Cleveland Show, Moral Oral, Dexter, House, CSI, Queer as Folk, The L Word, Rupaul's Drag Race, Superjail

Quotes From My Friends:

"You want rocky road ice cream? You know that has nuts?" -my friend Boo's Mom
"Yes mother. One of the few things I enjoy nuts in is ice cream... the other is my mouth." -Boo

"So the other day I was humping a squirrel and it caught on fire..." -My friend Austin

"I love you like the pope loves children." ~My friend Tom

"Drama is like fallatio. You just have to suck it up, wait for it to pass, swallow it all, and move on with life." -my friend Max

"Heaven has pearly white gates. Hell has Rosie oDonnel's vagina." -my friend Haley

"It's not rape if you yell surprise." -my friend Emo A

"-talking to my friend Boo- Your dad reminds me of one of those crazy old men"-Boo's boyfriend Bryan
"You mean the ones that start off all their stories with "when I was in Nam..." or scream "F-ing Japs!" everytime they hear a crash?"-Me

"Everytime I talk a woman is made" -my friend Fluffy
"I think my boobs just dropped" -Fluffy's friend

"When I was in Korea we ate gruel for breakfast and dirt for supper! But for lunch we had lovely crumpets and tea with two cups of sugar... but it was brutal!" -my friend Chase

"I'll show you my tellitubby!" -my friend Miqal

"I like Hooters, oh and I like the resturaunt too!" -my dad

"Having an erection is like having a frozen hot dog in your pants, minus the frozen part." -Boo's boyfriend Bryan

"-talking about adopting children- Wow, you make adoption sound like picking a puppy at the pound!" -my friend Max
"Yes, 'I'll take that child, he's got a shiny new coat!'" -me

"-doing random shit in 6th hour- Back when I was in Nam..." -Boo
"Oh shuddup Harold! You were never in Nam!"-me

"Back when I drank from the white man's fountain... Shut up Jerome you never drank from no white man's fountain!" - racist comic I had to make for my history class.

"My dick would be like a slinky SPROOOING!" -Boo

"We met one hot afternoon in 1985. You were playing basketball. The spandex was sticking to your ten year old body like the lint to the candy in the back of my van." -Tom

"-making fun of our douchey friend Jared- Are you wearing lip liner?" -Me
"No"-Jared
"Are you wearing lipgloss. Shiny, sparkly lip gloss?"-Our friend Collins
"It's like Edward Cullen came all over your mouth!" -Me

The following quote may be taken offensively. My bad.

"I want to get all the fat liposuctioned out of me and throw it at black people and yell "FRY YO CHICKEN IN IT NIGGAS!"-Tom

Offensive joke over, continue.

"-Boo, Shelbi, and I sending each other pictures of Suicide Girls (hot girls with tattoos and piercings) through Myspace IM- I want to make these girls my secretaries and make them work "extra hours" for me. And then, when they sob and plead for me to stop, I remind them of their 2 year old son who will go hungry without that raise." -Me