Peliaos Poll: what should i have for Naruto's squad in No More Temporary Homes? Vote Now! |
 Author has written 3 stories for Naruto, and Dungeons and Dragons. email: kmeadows48840@yahoo.com age: no need for you to know b-day: no need for you to know nationality: American(although, and i do see myself as patriotic, the country tends to suck) sex: male(not prefrence) Favorite anime/ manga: Favorite movie: favorite videogame: favorite comidean things i like include vidoegames, good fics(especially good crossovers), my playlist on playlist.com( if any of you want to listen to it just go to www.playlist.com/animefan3794, my dog zito, and learning words in different languages ( i.e. ken in Japaneese is sword/fist/soul and my friend Tony's name if you seperate it into it's syllable mean serial killer in German, which fits him since he's psyco, has MPD, and is a Jashinnist) things i dislike are yaio fics(i'm straight, i'm a guy, nuff said), emo's with the eifle tower up their asses and chips on their shoulders(coughSasukecough), bitches that might be half-banshee and don't realise a good thing when it's right in front of them acting hyper(coughSakuracough), my uptight mormon father(i love him but he needs to get off my back), people who think that one two or even 100 small changes to a characters past means that they are completely the opposite of how they are ment to be, and people who dis others and their famillies for no good reason fic ideas i've got runnig through my head right now a Naruto fic where Naruto Fails the Sasuke Retrival mission in a different way, he ends up killing Sasuke, and when Sakura is about to kill Naruto for it, two people that none of them know, but they can tell that they are shinobi from Uzugakure-no-sato, save Naruto and are leaking enough killing intent to cause an angry stampede of the world's largest and meanest animal to halt, turn around, and stampede out of fear. By the way, all that Killing intent is Directed at Sakura.(up for adoption) a Digimon tamers fic with a few Oc's, one that has two partners, black agumon and black gabumon(i realize they don't technically exsist, but there's black wargreymon right), and one that has my own made up, pshcotic digimon A Naruto/Digimon tamers X-over with the main focused characters being Naruto and Renamon, but an OC style renamon not the one everyone knows(though she'll still be there) a different kind of Naruto-RossarioVampire cross in wich instead of Naruto going to yokai academy, Yokai acadamy goes to Kahona the prementioned Naruto-force unleased cross a simple RV fic, that i will most likely write before the Naruto-RV cross, with two half-yokai OC's a harry potter fic wtih an Oc from america who's great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother was raped and imprgnated by a boggart, giving him shapeshifting ablities and haveing a wand that let's him know his enemy's worst fear. said Oc will also have several dangerous magical creatures as "pets"(up for adoption, needs to take place durng GoF) A, essencially, Naruto/Real world crossover(tough i don't know if it could be called that) with a few set in stone parts. 1. has to be early-mid shippuden age, 2. must be only MALE, STRAIT, NONgodlike/dark/emo Naruto, 3. must take place in either California or Michigan, and 4. must force him into one of our high schools(heh heh). (up for adoption) a Naruto-How to train your Dragon Crossover that i haven't completely decidd how i'm gonna do. An inuyasha fic that has two OC's added to the inu crew, both human, a samurai and a ninja.(up for adoption) FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? WTF!? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England) Anime895(USA), Starwatcher-shadow (Belgium), icyprincess1 (USA), Girl With The Wolves (USA), phoenixyfriend (USA & Serbia), Naruto fnatc (USA) Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, The Masochistic Lion, Naruto fnatc If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. Naruto fanfics are over populated by yaoi, primarily NaruSasu. If you believe me put this on your profile. 92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all: I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you can read that please put it in your profile. DO NOT READ BELLOW UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET CURSED This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. If you hate High School Musical, copy this into your profile. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Alice001,HeartOfAgony, VampiressE12B, Kurisutiina-chan, Naruto Fnatc. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?" If people think you are mentally insane, copy and paste this onto your profile. Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile FAKE VS. REAL FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food. REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food. FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs. REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM. FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we really messed up … but that sure was fun!” FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry. REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you. FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours. FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you. FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you. FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door. REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!” FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.(AKA. Drinking Buddies) REAL FRIENDS: Are for life. FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what’s wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better! FAKE FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out. FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this. REAL FRIENDS: Will repost this. TRUE STORY A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won't repost it? Repost this if you truly believe in God.
If you think you might have issues, copy this to your profile, then go blow something up. I don't care if you're gay or straight, everybody needs love. ONLY IN AMERICA: 1. Only in America ...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America ...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America ...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America ...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in America ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America ...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America ...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America ...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America ...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. 10. Only in America ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. If you think you should be able to watch what you want on TV without being called immature, copy and paste this in your profile. If you like your mom, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think digimon is, was, and always will be the coolioist, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are one freaky Digimon lover, copy and paste into your profile. If you are over the age of 12 and still watch nickelodeon, and are proud of it, copy this into your profile (mainly Fairly odd parents...other than that, Nick doesn't have anything decet anymore.) If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! If you absolutely LOVE anime, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile. wowlookatthisimtypingthisveryoddlinebreakifyoucanreaditcopyandpasteyousmartperson. If your profile is long, put this into your profile and make it even longer. If you know a video game/movie/book/anime/manga character(s), power(s), or weapon(s) that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile. 15 percent of every high school population is considered "Popular". 20 percent is desperate to become a part of the popular 15 percent. 20 percent couldn't care less. 15 percent realize that popularity doesn't matter. 10 are too busy worrying about their grades to care. 5 percent are goths, 5 percent can speak another language fluently, and 5 percent are too stupid to realize that no one likes them. If you are a part of the 5 percent who think the 'unpopular' 85 percent should rebel against the popular 15 percent, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., DigiDestined of Balance, Jingo4754,DarkbladerX666, NarutoFnatc If your one of those weird people who hate war but love violence, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate all predjudice copy and paste this into your profile. If you want to see the world someday, copy and paste this into your profile. If you want to copy this to your profile, you know what to do. If you hear voices of characters in your head...copy and paste this on you're profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you read all of the listed copy-to-profiles on this profile, copy this to your profile. If you have ever: danced like no one was watching, sung like no one was listening, written like no one was reading, loved like you'd never been hurt, or dreamed like no one was judging, copy this to your profile. If you think that bullies should be wiped off of the face of the earth, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever wondered what the afterlife is like, copy this into your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think child abuse is horrible copy and paste this in your profile. If you think that looks don't matter (well most of the time you think that) copy and paste this in your profile. Time for a QUIZ! RULES ARE YOU? 1. Perfect? Not at all. LAST: 1. Friend you saw: My dog. FAVORITES: 1. Number: 41874(my birthday multipled between itself, example, if u r born 12/5/2000, then the same process would be 12x5x2000=120000 EIGHT EMOTIONS: 1. Are you missing someone right now? No. ABOUT YOU: 1.Real name? I know better than to put that kind of info online FIRSTS: 1. First best friend? Don't Remember CURRENTLY: 1. Eating? Nothing. WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX? 1. Shorter or taller? around my hieght. HAVE YOU EVER: 1. Drank bubbles? I don't get it, but no. DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 1. Miracles? Not the big ones u see n the Bible anymore, but little ones in evreyday life yes. If you fall for this please put it in your profile, I fell for it too: You know you live in 2007 when... 1.) You accidentaly enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) and you were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did. If you know our society is moving in the wrong direction, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've read this ENTIRE profile and wasted about ten minutes reading what took me hours to put together, copy and paste this into your profile. If your dad gets a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this into your profile. If YOU get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile. If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to yor profile. you like chocolate, copy and paste this in your profile. If you ever got a high score and jumped in the air and screamed yes, copy and paste this in your profile. If you ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this in your profile. If you think that Sasuke from Naruto completly has to have the nick-name 'Chicken Butt Hair Dude' , copy this to your profile while laughing your ass off. If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile. Paste this in your profile if you're a procrastination addict. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself. If you think that i'm making you think too much then copy this onto your profile. If you've ever looked at the backs of heads that were previously your friends, copy this into your profile. What to Do During an Exam 1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!" 2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is. 3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level. 4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative. 5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off. 6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min. 7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else. 8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible. 9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you. 10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it. 11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam. 12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was. 13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk out triumphantly. 14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating.) 15. Show up completely insane (completely insane means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy). 16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day. 17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away. 18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story. 19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave. 20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. (I would never do that) 21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach. 22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave. 23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary. 24. Act spazzy 25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?" 26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! 27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out. 28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!" 29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai. 30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her. 31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her. 32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit." 33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..." 34. Fake an heart attack. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply. 35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect. 36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam. 37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen. 38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girly-girl nearby. 39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle. 40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour. 41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it. 42. Dress like the professor. 43. Cross-Dress. 44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam. 45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras. You know your a writer when: You talk to yourself a lot. You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs..." You live off of sugar and caffine People think you're insane. You'll check your e-mail every day of the week one week, and then dissappear off the face of the earth the next. You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it. No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome. People think you have A.D.D. You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D. You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. You start thinking about making lists like this and start laughing for no "apparent" reason Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago. And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. Murphy's War Law 1. Friendly fire - isn't. 2. Recoilless rifles - aren't. 3. Suppressive fires - won't. 4. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note. 5. A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down. 6. If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid. 7. Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you. 8. If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike.If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short. 9. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself. 10. Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself. 11. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder. 12. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush. 13. The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack. 14. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: -when they're ready. -when you're not. 15. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact. 16. There is no such thing as a perfect plan. 17. Five second fuses always burn three seconds. 18. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole. 19. A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping. The Ol' Ranger's addendum: Or else they're trying to suck you into a serious ambush! 20. The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard. 21. The easy way is always mined. 22. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at. 23. Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire... For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets. 24. Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you. 25. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone. 26. When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too. 27. Incoming fire has the right of way. 28. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection. 29. No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat. 30. If the enemy is within range, so are you. 31. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire. 32. Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't. 33. Things that must work together can't be carried to the field that way. 34. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support. 35. Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather (and especially during both). 36. Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing. 37. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out. 38. Tracers work both ways. 39. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take. 40. When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right. 41. Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs. 42. Military Intelligence is a contradiction. 43. Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up. 44. Weather ain't neutral. 45. If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed toward you. 46. Air defense motto: shoot 'em down; sort 'em out on the ground. 'Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it'll go.' 47. The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue. 48. Napalm is an area support weapon. 49. Mines are equal opportunity weapons. 50. B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon. 51. Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone. 52. Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity. 53. The one item you need is always in short supply. 54. Interchangeable parts aren't. 55. It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about. 56. When in doubt, empty your magazine. 57. The side with the simplest uniforms wins. 58. Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps. 59. If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy. 60. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep. 61. The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass. 62. Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan. 63. Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the Colonel's HQ. 64. The enemy never watches until you make a mistake. 65. One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many. 66. A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain. 67. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it. 68. Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. 69. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn. 70. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired. 71. The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator. 72. Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 73. No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill. 74. If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything. 75. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism (in boot camp). 76. Air strikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short. 77. When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible. 78. Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA. 79. The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for certain what they don't want. 80. To steal information from a person is called plagiarism, to steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence. 81. The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60. 82. The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that bill is filled by someone else. 83. When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack, when you are low on supplies & ammo the enemy decides to attack that night. 84. The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Medal of Honor. 85. A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive. 86. Murphy was a grunt. 87. Beer Math: 2 beers times 37 men equals 49 cases. 88. Body count Math: 3 guerrillas plus 1 probable plus 2 pigs equals 37 enemies killed in action. 89. The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range. 90. All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather. 91. The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance. 92. The crucial round is a dud. 93. Every command which can be misunderstood, will be. 94. There is no such place as a convenient foxhole. 95. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything. 96. If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you, if your ambush is properly set the enemy won't walk into it, if your flank march is going well the enemy expects you to outflank him. 97. Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target. 98. Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one. 99. The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out. 100. The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness). 101. There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work. 102. Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching. 103. The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured channel. 104. Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands right at your feet. 105. As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains. 106. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. 107. The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover. 108. Walking point = sniper bait. 109. Your bivouac for the night is the spot where you got tired of marching that day. 110. If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution. 111. No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy. 112. The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map. 113. The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it. 114. The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at. 115. If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush. 116. The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small. 117. If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap. 118. The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions. 119. There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you... and miss. 120. Don't be conspicuous; in the combat zone it draws fire, out of the combat zone it draws sergeants, if they can see you, so can the enemy... All or any of the above combined. 121. Avoid loud noises, there are few silent killers in a combat zone. 122. Never screw over a buddy; you'll never know when he could save your life. 123. Never expect any rations; the only rations that will be on time and won't be short is the ration of shit. 124. Respect all religions in a combat zone, take no chances on where you may go if killed. 125. A half filled canteen is a beacon for a full loaded enemy weapon. 126. When in a fire fight, kill as many as you can, the one you miss may not miss tomorrow. 127. It is a physical impossibility to carry too much ammo. 128. If you survive an ambush, something's wrong. 129. If you can see the flashes from the enemies' guns in battle, he can see yours too. 130. Flashlights, lighters and matches don't just illuminate the surrounding area; they illuminate you too. 131. Just because you have nearly impenetrable body armor and a hard-ass Kevlar helmet, doesn't mean you don't have exposed areas. 132. There are few times when the enemy can't hear you: When he's dead, you're dead, or both. Addendum: When he's not there, when you're not there, or both. 133. Never cover a dead body with your own in hopes of looking like you're one of the casualties. Even using his cadaver is a stretch to avoid being shot "just in case." 134. You're only better than your enemy if you kill him first. 135. Never underestimate the ability of the brass to foul things up. 136. You have two mortal enemies in combat; the opposing side and your own rear services. 137. You think the enemy has better artillery support and the enemy thinks yours is better; you're both right. 138. Three things you will never see in combat; hot chow, hot showers, and an uninterrupted night's sleep. 139. "Live" and "Hero" are mutually exclusive terms. 140. Once you are in the fight it is way too late to wonder if this is a good idea. 141. NEVER get into a fight without more ammunition that the other guy. 142. Decisions made by someone over your head will seldom be in your best interest. 143. Sometimes, being good and lucky still is not enough. 144. If the rear echelon troops are really happy, the front line troops probably do not have what they need. 145. If you are wearing body armor they will probably miss that part. 146. Happiness is a belt fed weapon. 147. Having all your body parts intact and functioning at the end of the day beats the alternative. 148. If you are allergic to lead it is best to avoid a war zone. 149. Hot garrison chow is better than hot C-rations which, in turn, are better than cold C-rations, which are better than no food at all. All of these, however, are preferable to cold rice balls even if they do have little pieces of fish in them. 150. A free fire zone has nothing to do with economics. 151. Medals are OK, but having your body and all your friends in one piece at the end of the day is better. 152. Being shot hurts. 153. Thousands of Veterans earned medals for bravery every day, a few were even awarded. 154. There is only one rule in war: When you win, you get to make up the rules. 155. C-4 can make a dull day fun. 156. There is no such thing as a fair fight -- only ones where you win or lose. 157. If you win the battle you are entitled to the spoils. 158. If you lose you don't care. 159. Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow, what is important is what you are doing -- NOW -- to solve our problem. 160. Always make sure someone has a can opener. 161. Prayer may not help . . . but it can't hurt. 162. Flying is better than walking, walking is better than running, running is better than crawling. All of these, however, are better than extraction by a Med-Evac even if it is technically, is a form of flying. 163. If everyone does not come home none of the rest of us can ever fully come home either. 164. Carrying any weapon that you weren't issued (e.g, an AK) in combat is NOT A GOOD IDEA! -A combat vet will know the sound of an unfamiliar weapon in an instant and will point and shoot. -Not only that, AKs use green tracers which mean "shoot 'em all and let God sort them out". 165. As has been noted, "Friendly fire isn't!" completely random selection of quotes!!!!!!!! "Its's a Stupid idea, I'll go first" "It doesn't Matter whose on First, I'm holding a F'n steel bat" "There is no such thing as overkill, there is only open fire and reload" "When did chess become a sport? Did I miss it becoming full contact? Do the pieces explode? Is it played with real people that fight with swords and shit? Are there enough nerds in the world for that?" - Friend after I told him chess was declared an "olympic sport" Follow up statement "What's next Pokemon at the Olymics? Or those giant Yugioh holographic monster things? We have the technology. Damn. I sounded like the announcer for Bionic Woman." Copy and Pasted this next stuff. Spread it around. When life gives me lemons, I make orange juice and leave the world to wonder how the heck I managed it If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried. I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday Someday, we'll look on this, laugh nervously and change the subject I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas If I had any dignity that would have been humiliating. Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with! That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. When in doubt, push random buttons! Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train. Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?" There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves. They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people... Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it He who laughs last thinks slowest An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work I'm not cynical, everything just sucks I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept. They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance. Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible? Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film. A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss. There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots. The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’re good I'm not as dumb as you look The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not. We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk. Sarcasm is one more service we offer. Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck. I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away. She has them now. They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room? Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs. Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to Love your enemies. It gets them really confused. I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing. If you look around and see zombies surrounding you dont worry. I already got away. WHEN I SAY I AM A CHRISTIAN When I say..."I am a Christian" I'm not shouting "I am saved" I'm whispering "I was lost! That is why I chose this way." When I say..."I am a Christian" I don't speak of this with pride. I'm confessing that I stumble and need someone to be my guide. When I say..."I am a Christian" I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing that I'm weak and pray for strength to carry on. When I say..."I am a Christian" I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed and cannot ever pay the debt. When I say..."I am a Christian" I'm not claiming to be perfect, my flaws are too visible but God believes I'm worth it. When I say..."I am a Christian" I still feel the sting of pain I have my share of heartaches which is why I seek His name. When I say..."I am a Christian" I do not wish to judge. I have no authority. I only know I'm loved. If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven. Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school |
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