I have absolutely no idea what to put in here. So I am just going to ramble. Feel free to scroll down and read my story/stories if you want to skip this. I refuse to say my real name just because I don't feel like it, but my nicknames are; Mousey, Onion Head (If you put my hair into a ponytail on top of my head it like an onion), Beany (I hate that name so much), and Plakanoka (Noka for short) I randomly put that in my DS as my username and it stuck.

Alright now to the funny stuff.

16 Things to do when you're in Wal-Mart! (I love this stuff!)

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"

16. When you are at the cash paying, ask: "Can I have fries with that?"

Things I'm not allowed to do in Ferryport landing. (Sisters Grimm is the best book ever)

1. I will not tell Sabrina that the president of the United States is an Everafter

2. I will not quote from Monty Python and the Holy Grail whenever I see King Arthur

3. It is not polite to ask Jake if he likes “older women”

4. I am not supposed to try and convince Daphne that Harry Potter is real

5. Mr. Canis is not a werewolf, and I should not compare him to Remus Lupin

6. Jokes about police officers being pigs aren’t really funny

7. I will not, as a human, pretend to be a mime trapped inside a box while standing next to the magical barrier

8. Saying “I don’t believe in fairies” will not make Puck or his minions die

9. I will not constantly mention living "happily ever after”

10. I will not talk about finding my Prince Charming, especially if said prince is within earshot

11. I will not throw beans on the ground and pretend that they were magic ones

12. I will not ask people to see their driver’s licenses

13. Nottingham will not be amused if I forge a love letter from him to Heart

14. I will not sing songs from the movie Men in Tights whenever I see Robin Hood or his men

15. I will not steal from Baba Yaga and blame it on somebody else

16. I will not offer any “anti-aging” products to Everafters

17. It is not a good idea to cover walls with red handprints, even as a joke

18. I will not brag about all the places I’ve been recently

19. Pretending to discover magical items is not ok

20. I will not allow Rumpelstiltzkin to adopt children, nor will I hire him as a babysitter

21. I will not start rhyming random words to annoy Mirror

22. I will not give Elvis sausage, no matter what happens

23. I will not attempt a brain/heart transplant on the Scarecrow/Tin Man

24. I will not refer to Everafters by their real names in front of other people

25. I will not ask for autographs

26. I will not ask Everafters to refer me to their plastic surgeons

27. I am not allowed to negotiate a peace treaty with the Scarlet Hand

28. I will not use Mirror to do my hair and make-up in the morning

29. I will not ask known Scarlet Hand members to join a new organization called "The Blue Foot".

Things not to do at Hogwarts (My favorites are 20, 26, and 50.) (Oh and 2 (I wish I could do that))

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insureance pollicy on Harry Potter

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it

16) I will not lock all the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Kinghts of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast

18) I am not allowed to declare an offical "Hug A Slytherin Day" (Teehee!)

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways

20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-ful"

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell

26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways

28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees"

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge

30) I will not go to class skyclad

31) I will not use Umbridge's quiz to write, "Told you I was Hard Core"

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion

35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"

37) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak

38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine

39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts

40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"

41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck

42) I do not have a Dalek Patronous

43) I will not lick Trevor

44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey"

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions

48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet

49) "To conqur the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice

50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God

Annoying things to do on an elevator

1) Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) Grett everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) Meow occasionally.

6) Stare At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly.

7) Say -DING at each floor.

8) Say "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) Swat at flies that don't exist.

22) Call out "Group hug" then enforce it.

Ways to Annoy people at the cinema: (My favorite)

Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"

Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.

Clap when the good guy gets killed.

During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"

Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"

Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.

Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.

Yell out what is going to happen.

Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.

Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.

Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.

Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.

Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.

Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.

Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.

Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.

Try to start a wave.

Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.

Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.

Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"

Sing with the theme music.

Bring and use your own air freshener.

At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."

Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.

Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.

Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.

Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"

Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.

Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.

Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.

When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"

Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.

Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"

Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.

Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.

Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"

Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.

Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.

When someone walks by you in the aisle scream, "Ahhhhhh! Bad Touch!"

Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself.

Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.

During a love scene, stand up and run to the screen shouting "Hooters!"

Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room.

Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.

Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"

Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"

Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"

Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer’s name is going to be said.

Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.

Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.

Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.

Pass by a room that’s showing a movie you’ve already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the ending.

General Ways to Annoy People:

Announce when you're going to the bathroom.

Answer every question with another question. As soon as one of you says a statement instead of a question, shout "I win!"

As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

As people talk, smell their shoulders.

Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!")

Ask people what gender they are.

Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook.

At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

At a restaurant, repeatedly send your food back for changes and after awhile insist that, "This isn't what I ordered!"

At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

Bark like a dog whenever anyone says the word "the."

Begin all your sentences with "Ooh la la!"

Bring a portable CD player to a concert and listen the CD because you insist that it is "Just better quality"

Call into work and tell them you have something better to do today.

Call someone and ask for someone that you know is not there then hang up. Call again about a half hour later and ask for the same person then hang up again. Wait another half hour and call again and ask for that person again and then hang up again and wait a hour and call the same number and say that you are the person that you have been calling for and ask if you had any messages.

Call the operator. When asked, "Can I help you?" reply, "No thanks, just browsing."

Change Channels five minutes before the end of every show.

Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

Click your mechanical pencils or your pens during a test in school.

Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, pronouncing the results.

Continue to ask someone, "Is this annoying? Is this annoying?" over and over and over.

Continuously open your briefcase or bag and say into it, "Have you got enough air in there?"

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity: (I don't need this, I'm already insane.)

At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

Hee hee

Well, you can read my weird little stories now.

... MOO ...