"Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are?

Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky.

When the blazing sun is gone, when he nothing shines upon,

Then you show your little light, twinkle, twinkle all the night.

Then the traveller in the dark, thanks you for your tiny spark,

He could not see which way to go, if you did not twinkle so.

In the dark blue sky you keep, and often through my window peep,

For you never shut your eye, 'till the sun is in the sky.

As your bright and tiny spark lights the traveller in the dark,

Though I do not know what you are -twinkle, twinkle little star.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high Like a diamond in the sky.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star How I wonder what you are.
How I wonder what you are."

Qoutes:

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

"Censorship, one way to rip out and crush someone's soul and heart."

"Careful, you're bullshit is showing..." - Anonymous

"I have mastered everything a man can do, then I did it again barefoot and in heels." - Anonymous

"I'm not insane, I just haven't been medicated yet."

"Sometimes I question my sanity and then I remember there isn't any to actually question..." -

"I'm not a klutz, gravity, inanimate objects, doors, and walls are just out to kill me."

"Would chocolate make you feel better?"
"No, but I'm pretty sure punching you in the face would." -

"I'm the kind of girl that as soon as my feet hit the ground in the morning, the devil goes 'Oh shit, she's awake.'" - Anonymous

"No matter how old I get, I will always love Disney. If you got a problem with that then you can go get eaten by a Heffalump."

"Ten points to the House of Morons for realizing I really don't give a rat's ass." - Anonymous

"I'm not that kind of doctor, I don't have the-"
"What, time?"
"Temperament." Bruce Banner & Tony Stark, Iron Man 3

"We have a Hulk." Tony Stark, Avengers

"We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all." Andrew 'The Jock' Clark, The Breakfast Club.

"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death." - Robert Fulghum

"Love the battle between chaos and imagination." Robert Fulghum

"We’re all a little weird, and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." - Dr. Seuss

"Never say goodbye because saying goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting"- Peter Pan

"You know that place between sleep and awake; that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I will always love you, that's where I will be waiting."- Peter Pan

"I believe whatever doesn't kill you, simply makes you... Stranger." - The Joker, The Dark Knight

"I took Gotham's white knight and I brought him down to our level. It wasn't hard. You see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little push!" -The Joker, The Dark Knight

"Well-behaved women seldom make history" - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

"The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says, 'It's a girl.'" - Shirley Chisholm

"Don’t be so humble - you are not that great."

"The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time."

"Faith: not wanting to know what is true."

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and is widely regarded as a bad move."

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."

"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is ‘God is crying’. And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is ‘Probably because of something you did’."

"You laugh at me because I am different, but I laugh at you because you are all the same."

"If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."

"When they took the Fourth Amendment, I was silent because I don’t deal drugs. When they took the Sixth Amendment, I kept quiet because I know I’m innocent. When they took the Second Amendment, I said nothing because I don’t own a gun. Now they’ve come for the First Amendment, and I can’t say anything at all."

"The right to swing my fist ends where the other man’s nose begins."

"NEW YORK, NY. A man was knocked down by a car and got up uninjured, but lay back down in front of the car when a bystander told him to feign injury in order to collect insurance money. The car rolled forward and crushed him to death."
- Associated Press, 1977

"If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?"

"If you lose your temper, you’ve lost the argument."
- Proverb

"Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something."
- Pancho Villa (1877-1923), last words

"Heav’n hath no rage like love to hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn’d."

"A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government."

"I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying."
- Woody Allen (1935-)

"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian."

"I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didn't work that way...so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness"

"If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?"

After 9/11, Bush made two statements: "Terrorists hate America because America is a land of freedom and opportunity." and "We intend to attack the root causes of terrorism." ..Sounds like everything is going according to plan.

"Politicians, like diapers, have to be changed frequently - and for the very same reason."

"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards." - Claire Wolfe, 101 Things to Do 'Til the Revolution

USA PATRIOT = Useless State-sponsored Action Purporting to Attack Terror while Really Initiating an Oligarchic Takeover

"Everybody looks brave holding a machine gun."

" All animals except man know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it."

"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full."

Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put arsenic in your morning coffee.
Churchill: Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

- Mark Twain

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

"There is no mistaking a real book when one meets it. it is like falling in love"

The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion. Henry Steele Commager

Books won't stay banned. They won't burn. Ideas won't go to jail. In the long run of history, the censor and the inquisitor have always lost. The only weapon against bad ideas is better ideas. Alfred Whitney Griswold, New York Times, 24 February 1959

To reject the word is to reject the human search. Max Lerner, 1953, on book purging

What progress we are making. In the Middle Ages they would have burned me. Now they are content with burning my books. Sigmund Freud, 1933

Wherever they burn books they will also, in the end, burn human beings. Heinrich Heine, Almansor, 1823

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. John Bikini

"In violence we forget who we are". Mary McCarthy

Why are sex and violence always linked? I'm afraid they'll blur together in people's minds - sexandviolence - until we can't tell them apart. I expect to hear a newscaster say, "The mob became unruly and the police were forced to resort to sex." Dick Cavett, 1978

If you suck on a tit the movie gets an "Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent."

"I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent."
Mahatma Gandhi

Do not fear your enemies. The worst they can do is kill you. Do not fear friends. At worst they may betray you. Fear those who do not care; they neither kill nor betray, but betrayal and murder exists because of their silent consent. --Bruno Jasienski (Yasensky)

There is no such thing as an inevitable war. If war comes it will be from failure of human wisdom. --Andrew B. Law

Each snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty. --Stanislaw J. Lee

Evil is no faceless stranger,
living in a distant neighborhood.
Evil has a wholesome, hometown face,
with merry eyes and an open smile.
Evil walks among us wearing a mask
which looks like all our faces.
--Dean Koontz The Book of Counted Sorrroows

"...There is more than one way to burn a book. And the world is full of people running about with lit matches. Every minority, be it Baptist/Unitarian, Irish/Italian/Octogenarian/Zan Buddhist, Zionist/Seventh-day Adventist, Women's Lib/ Republican, Mattachine/FourSquareGospel feels it has the will, the right, the duty to douse the kerosene, light the fuse. Every dimwit editor who sees himself as the source of all dreary blanc-mange plain porridge unleavened literature, licks his guillotine and eyes the neck of any author who dares to speak above a whisper or write above a nursery rhyme..." -Ray Bradbury

"You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." -John Morley

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it. Roseanne Barr

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. Timothy Leary

Marriage is a fine institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Easy is an adjective used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man. -- Nancy Linn-Desmond

He tricked me into marrying him. He told me he was pregnant. -- Carol Leifer

If You Can't Trust Me With A Choice, How Can You Trust Me With A Child?

Keep Your Rosaries Off My Ovaries

I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay. Madonna Ciccone

"Not everyone born free and equal, as the Constitution says, but everyone made equal. Each man the image of every other; then all are happy, for there are no mountains to make them cower, to judge themselves against."- Fahrenheit 451

"Somewhere the saving and putting away had to begin again and someone had to do the saving and the keeping, one way or another, in books, in records, in people's heads, any way at all so long as it was safe, free from moths, silverfish, rust and dry-rot, and men with matches."Fahrenheit 451

"There must be something in books, things we can't imagine, to make a woman stay in a burning house; there must be something there. You don't stay for nothing."
- Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451, Part 1

"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."

"The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech."

Be The Girl You Are, Not The Doll You're Sold

Little girls made of sugar and spice grow up to be cheesecakes.

I may not be cheap but I am on special this week

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.

An eye for an eye and everyone shall be blind

You must be the change you wish to see in the world

Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding. -Gandhi

I am not afraid...I was born to do this. -Joan of Arc

As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world - that is the myth of the atomic age - as in being able to remake ourselves. - Gandhi

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss

“Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.”

“Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along.”

“In a cruel and evil world, being cynical can allow you to get some entertainment out of it”

“No man in his heart is quite so cynical as a well-bred woman”

“Your heart is my piñata.”

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Of course, so does
falling down a flight of stairs.
(Richard Doty, Washington)

Never say die. I've tried, and it doesn't actually make people die.
(Tom McCudden, Durham, N.C.)

It takes a village to raise a child to hate all of the people in the next
village.

The key to someone's heart is never lost: It's just that the locks were
changed 'cause you're some sort of psycho.

Aspire to greatness. But remember that no one ever assassinated a
refrigerator repairman.

You've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the prince. But he probably
isn't going to be interested in some frog-kisser.

You can do anything if you want it bad enough. That is why we see so many
people who can fly.

“We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.”

“You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.”

“Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply; those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they now set on fire.”

“Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated.”

"If a choice were given him between suffering death and living his early years over again, who would not shudder and choose death?"
-Augustine

Food has replaced sex in my life; now, I can't even get into my own pants. Author Unknown

"What is originality? Undetected plagiarism."
-Dean William Ralph Inge

"There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots."

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.

Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence but also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

I was born a woman… I won’t be told how to become one.

I tried to contain myself, but I escaped.

Marriage is a fine institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Fine! I don't believe you exist either

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. -- Gloria Steinem

I’m not offended by dumb blonde jokes, because I know I’m not dumb… and I also know that I’m not blonde. -- Dolly Parton

They say "guns don’t kill people, people kill people.' Well, I think the gun helps, because if you just stood there and yelled BANG I don’t think you'd kill too many people.

So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?

Yeah, I’m a loser. But the coolest loser you'll ever meet

Because women's work is never done and is underpaid or unpaid or boring or repetitious and we're the first to get fired and what we look like is more important than what we do and if we get raped it's our fault and if we get beaten we must have provoked it and if we raise our voices we're nagging bitches and if we enjoy sex we're nymphos and if we don't we're frigid and if we love women it's because we can't get a "real" man and if we ask our doctor too many questions we're neurotic and/or pushy and if we expect childcare we're selfish and if we stand up for our rights we're aggressive and "unfeminine" and if we don't we're typical weak females and if we want to get married we're out to trap a man and if we don't we're unnatural and because we still can't get an adequate safe contraceptive but men can walk on the moon and if we can't cope or don't want a pregnancy we're made to feel guilty about abortion and...for lots of other reasons we are part of the women's liberation movement. Author unknown, quoted in The Torch, 14 September 1987

A woman is like a tea bag. It's only when she's in hot water that you realize how strong she is. Attributed to both Eleanor Roosevelt and Carl Sandburg

Men define intelligence, men define usefulness, men tell us what is beautiful, men even tell us what is womanly. Sally Kempton

You don't have to signal a social conscience by looking like a frump. Lace knickers won't hasten the holocaust, you can ban the bomb in a feather boa just as well as without, and a mild interest in the length of hemlines doesn't necessarily disqualify you from reading Das Kapital and agreeing with every word. Elizabeth Bibesco

"In passing, also, I would like to say that the first time Adam had a chance he laid the blame on a woman." —Nancy Astor (British Politician)

"In my heart, I think a woman has two choices: either she's a feminist or a masochist." —Gloria Steinem

“We have to be careful in this era of radical feminism, not to emphasize an equality of the sexes that leads women to imitate men to prove their equality. To be equal does not mean you have to be the same.” Eva Burrows

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, prepare to die."
- Klingon Proverb, Star Trek

If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them.
Robert Graves

"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night." Charles M. Schulz

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too, if you sit down.

Friend: I've changed my mind...
You: Excellent, so does the new one work better?

Man: Hey there, haven't I seen you some place before?
Woman: Yes, and that's why I don't go there anymore.

You: I reckon you'd make a great exchange student.
Friend: Wow, you really think so?
You: Yes, we might be able to exchange you for someone nice.

NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

Reality check: you can never, ever, use weight loss to solve problems that are not related to your weight. At your goal weight or not, you still have to live with yourself and deal with your problems. You will still have the same husband, the same job, the same kids, and the same life. Losing weight is not a cure for life. Phillip C. McGraw

If nature had intended our skeletons to be visible it would have put them on the outside of our bodies. Elmer Rice

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it. Author Unknown

Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge. Don Kardong

You can’t be late until you show up

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.

I keep trying to lose weight... but it keeps finding me! Author Unknown

No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office. George Bernard Shaw

The first thing you lose on a diet is your sense of humor. Author Unknown

Food is like sex: when you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good. Beth McCollister

Never interrupt your opponent while he’s making a mistake.

When people ask me with a judging undertone just why it is i’m talking to myself, I answer them: “At least, this way, i’m sure that i’m talking to someone as intelligent as myself, which is as hard to find as a decent answer to that ridiculous question.”

Never let the hand you hold, hold you down. Author Unknown

I am woman! I am invincible! I am pooped! Author Unknown

"A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. 'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too.'"

"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash."

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

I’ve never really thought of myself as depressed as much as paralyzed by hope. Maria Bamford

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

Don't sweat petty things...or pet sweaty things.

The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.

if my calculations are correct SLINKY ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN

A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station...

Some day my boat will come in, and with my luck I'll be at the airport .

A pretty girl can kiss a guy, a bird can kiss a butterfly, the rising sun can kiss the grass, but you ,my friend, can kiss my ass.

I am not gonna die because some network executive thought I was fat! It's so wrong! It's so wrong that women are asked to live up to this skinny ideal that is totally unattainable. For me to be ten pounds thinner is a full-time job, and I am handing in my notice and walking out the door!!.

Ugly. Is irrelevant. It is an immeasurable insult to a woman, and then supposedly the worst crime you can commit as a woman. But ugly, as beautiful, is an illusion. A matter of taste, a whim, an eye, a beholder, an opinion, a spin, light crossing the frame, paint, projection. The moment. Context.

-I'll keep my freedom, my guns, my money, and my religion. You can keep the "change". (Hank Williams Jr.) Copy and past this into your profile if you're of the same mind.

-A government big enough to give you everything you want, is a government big enough to take from you everything you have. (Gerald Ford)

-They say the best weapon is the one you never have to fire. I respectfully disagree. I prefer the weapon you only have to fire once. That's how Dad did it, that's how America does it, and it's worked out pretty well so far. (Tony Starks, Iron Man)

-They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. (Benjamin Franklin)

-Don't put your life in someone's hands, they're bound to steal it away. (Three Days Grace, Get Out Alive)

-He who wants peace must prepare for war. (Tiberius Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus)

-Wherever we want to go, we'll go. That's what a ship is you know. It's not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails, that's what a ship needs but what a ship is... what the Black Pearl really is... is freedom. (Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean: the Curse of the Black Pearl)

- Will: You ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fight, I'd killed you.

Jack: Then that's not much incentive for me to fight fair, then, is it? (Will Turner and Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean: the Curse of the Black Pearl)

-The night is darkest just before the dawn. (Bat Man)

-I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. (W.C. Fields)

-What we are never changes. Who we are never stops changing. (Grissom, CSI)

-It is not our abilities that make us who we are, it is our choices. (Dumbledore)

-Follow your heart, for then you'll never truly be lost. (A close friend)

-I will always watch over you, even if you change into something else. Even if I am separated from you, I will find you. So sleep now, Saya, I will wait for you... (Hagi, Blood Plus)

-You try you fail, you try you fail, but the only true failure is when you stop trying. (Haunted Mansion)

-Learn from the past my son, but do not dwell in it. (Master Splinter, TMNT)

-A wise man once said, "Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza." (Michelangelo, TMNT)

-Screw the rules...I have money. (Seto Kaiba, Abridged Series)

-Prejudiced? I'm not prejudiced! By the Nine Hells, I even travel with a back-stabbing tiefling of all things, and you know how her kind are! (Khelgar Ironfist, Neverwinter Nights 2. AN:Everyone's a little bit racist, even dawrves. It's okay.)

-He's like a five-year-old with access to guns and a comprehensive understanding of every swear word in the English language. (Nick, Left 4 Dead 2)

-Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Because it can produce a few notes, tho they are very flat; and it is nevar put with the wrong end in front! (Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland. Another good answer I've heard is: Because they both have inky quills.)

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you are my life.

or this

A guy gets a girl 11 real roses and one fake rose. When he gave her the 12 roses, he said,"I'll love you until the last one dies."

If you think books are for people who wish they were somewhere else past this to your page (quite by mark twain)

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile!

You say BABY PINK
I say BLACK
You say HANNAH MONTANA
I say 3 DOORS DOWN
You say HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL
I say NARUTO
You say RAP
I say ROCK
You say I'm WEIRD
I say YES I AM & LIKE YOU ARN'T

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you,
But the roses are wilting,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty,
And so is your head.

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over.

I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he gotaway .

you have ever seen a movie (or show or read a book) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

now for semoehtnig itnresitng...

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

FOR THE GIRLZ

Guy: Where have you been all my life?
Girl: Hiding from you.

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Girl: Did it hurt when you were dropped on your head repeatedly as a baby?

Guy: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Girl: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Guy: Is this seat empty?
Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Guy: Your place or mine?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Guy: So, what do you do for a living?
Girl: I'm a female impersonator.

Guy: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Girl: Do not enter.

Guy: Your body is like a temple.
Girl: Sorry, there are no services today.

Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Girl: But would you stay there?

Guy: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy

Girl: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together.
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together.

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: Your face must turn a few heads.
Woman: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

Man: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
Woman: Okay, get out.

Man: I think I could make you very happy.
Woman: Why? Are you leaving?

Man: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
Woman: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

Man: Can I have your name?
Woman: Why? Don't you already have one?

Man: I'm God's gift to women
Woman: God certainly has a sense of humor.

Man: Can I buy you a drink?
Woman: Actually I'd rather have the money.

Man: How did you get to be so beautiful?
Woman: I must have been given your share.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (once a key actually fell off!)

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descrip)

If you spend every free minute of your time reading, writening, at the library, typing, or doing other things the kids your age would call boring and dule paste this to your page

Mexican man walks into a cafe one morning and noticed that he was the only mexican man there. As he sat down he noticed a man behind him. The white man said," Colored people are not allowed here." The mexican man turned around, stood up and said," Listen pedejo, when I was born I was BROWN, when I grew up I was BROWN, when I'm sick I'm BROWN, when I go into the sun I'm BROWN, when I'm cold I'm BROWN, and when I die I'm gonna be BROWN! But you pendejo, when you're born your PINK, when you grow up you're WHITE, when you're sick you're GREEN, when you go into the sun you turn RED, and when you're cold you turn PURPLE, and when you die you're BLUE! And you have the nerve to call me colored?! CHINGA TU MADRE PUTO!!

If you hate racism put this on your file. And be be proud of the color of your skin, no matter what color it is!

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book.
I am the girl that people look through when I say something.
I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.
I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face.
I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone.
I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year, o ever actually, but im poud of it.
I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.
BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is,
doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment),
who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more,
who loves and is obsessed with Twilight,
who can express herself better with words than actions,
who doesn't need a guy to complete her,
and knows the importance of the little things.
Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me,
so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.:
Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15, Marigold Winters, SparklingTopazEyes, chocoholic4eva, xXKatieCullenX, Bby-Leyla-Vamp, Shiny-silver-volvo-stalker, Nick1488, Demelza Llivell, becky-x-twilight-x, josefinaamo, MrsMargo Cullen,Orelina aka Me,Born 2 B A Vampire,

I live in a world of Rainbows, hearts and Unicorns. The rainbow is only in shades of grey and black, The hearts are broken and bleeding and the unicorn are cutting them selves with their horns... All in all it's my perfect life=Sticks and Stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

"When all else fails blow shit up."

Hoes Hate

Bitches Are Fake

Friends Relate

Best Friends Are The Ones Who are swinging at all three.

The man who says that he doesn't deserve you...is the man who deserves you the most

I am not so good with advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

I did what they said and took the road less traveled, now where the heck am I?

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable if chocolate comes from cocoa beans and all beans are a vegetable?

Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run, he hates that.

Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in your face?

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

Calling me Fake won't make you Real,

Calling me Stupid won't make you Smart,

Calling me Weak won't make you Strong,

Calling me Ugly won't make you Pretty,

Calling me Poor won't make you Rich,

Calling me Fat won't make you Thin,

Calling me Uncool won't make you Cool,

So why bother?

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and geting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy.So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality they are amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Don't hate yourself in the morning- sleep till noon.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29,who will be laughing then?

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile, but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with!

Toes arent needed for balance. They are just a helpful tool for finding items in the dark.Painfully.

"Therapist" = The/rapist... scary thought

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

''Come to the dark side. We have BR-'' ''COOKIES!'' ''No, damnit! BROWNIES!''

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

-I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!

-If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

-Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.

A conclusion is what you reach when you get tired of thinking

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...

Who says beggars can’t be choosers, I could have just robbed you

When life throws you lemons, throw a brick back.

When life throws you lemons, throw them at someone else.

If at first you don't succeed, blame it on bad parenting.

Whoever came up with ‘Sticks and stones...’ obviously didn’t take into account the viciousness of today’s youth.

A university professor set an examination question in which he asked what is the difference between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A to a student who answered: I don't know and I don't care.

In the front yard of a funeral home: Drive carefully. We’ll wait.

A child's sob in the silence cuts deeper than a strong man in his wrath.

Who is more foolish: the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light?

I'm fine, I'm fine

I am not a child now

I can take care of myself

I mustn't let them down, now

Mustn't let them see me cry

A true horror is a parent who is forced to live while their child no longer does.

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around

"Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you."

Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark

'Forgive but never forget, its good payback.'

We interrupt this profile for an important message to one who has passed on. He will be remembered dearly.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

A moment of silence.

ONLY IN AMERICA...

...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance

...are there handicap parking spaces in front of ice-skating rinks

...sick people go to the back of Walgreens to get their medicine, while healthy people get their cigarettes at the front

...people buy hotdogs in packs of 10 and hotdog buns in packs of 8

...the banks leave both vaults open and then chain the pens to the counter

...people order a double cheese burger, large fries, and a diet coke

...people leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveways and keep their junk in garages

...people use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss the calls from someone they don't want to talk to in the first place

...is the word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" mean "blood-sucking creatures.

I get plenty of exercise: jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.

Like Daddy always said: If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit!

I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I'm on my last one.

Everyone has the right to be stupid. Some people just abuse the privilege

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. - Winston Churchill.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match it for me at kick boxing.

I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something

When someone tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.

Admit nothing, deny everything, demand proof - then blame a Private.

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. - Oscar Wilde

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory.

Incoming fire has the right of way. - War Laws

I don't fight with idiots; they bring me to their level then beat me with experience.

I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.

Laughter is the best medicine... or is it the wine?

Are you going to kiss me, or do I have to lie in my diary?

Beans beans are good for your heart! The more you eat the more you fart!

"Live your dreams, don't dream your life."

"Stress! The confusion created when the mind must override the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some idiot who desperately deserves it"

"I wish my lawn were emo so it would cut itself"

A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station... "

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE : When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

“Speaking personally, you can have my gun, but you'll take my book when you pry my cold, dead fingers off of the binding.” ― Stephen King

"Anyone who can only think of only one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination."

"How are we going to have a battle of wits? You're unarmed."

"True realism consists in revealing the surprising things which habit keeps covered and prevents us from seeing."-Jean Cocteau

"The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering."

"Never regret things, for at one time it was exactly what you wanted."

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away."

"There are no coincidences in this world, after all. There is only inevitability."

"Friends call you in jail. Good friends visit you in jail. But best friends are next to you saying, "Dude, that was AWESOME!"."

"There are many questions which fools can ask that wise men cannot answer."-George Polya

Silence is GOLDEN.

Duct-tape is SILVER.

"Laziness grows on people; it begins in cobwebs and ends in iron chains. The more one has to do, the more he is able to accomplish."- Thomas Buxton

"Tomorrow I will live, the fool does say: today itself's too late; the wise lived yesterday."

"You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same."

"I have a question: When I die is it the mistakes I made that you will remember the most? Or is it the victories I made through my mistakes?"

"Remember, there is only one woman on the chess-board and she is the most versatile and powerful piece."

"Do more than exist, live

Do more than touch, feel.

Do more than look, observe.

Do more than read, absorb.

Do more than hear, listen.

Do more than listen, understand.

Do more than think, ponder.

Do more than talk; say something."

-John H. Rhoades

"When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability... To be alive is to be vulnerable."

"Hn"Hiei

“Just wonderful,” Yusuke mumbled, “of all the days to forget my Hiei-Japanese dictionary. Kurama, you’re fluent, was that an ‘I don’t have a clue but like hell I’d tell you that’ hn, or an ‘I have a few ideas but I don’t want to say them’ hn?” 'The Pheonix' by Adrasteia Wen.

“What’s it like living in a haze of constant stupidity?” Hiei

"I know what you're going to say. She's my sister and I should try to get along with her." Zuko.

'No, she's evil and she needs to go down.' Uncle Iroh, Avatar.

"Hey, I love sleep. My life has a tendency to fall apart when I'm awake." Shikamaru, Facade by Blue-eyed Fox.

Hope

-Jen's Diary

"Hope is that little piece of humanity,

that is not tainted in any way.

Hope is what causes empires to rise from dust;

people to love;

humanity to learn; and evil to be overthrown."

"For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, "It might have been"."

"Looking back I have this to regret, that too often when I have loved, I did not say so."

"Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."

"Love is like a butterfly, hold it too tight, it'll crush, hold it too loose it'll fly."

"The wise speak when they have something to say; the fools speak when they have to say something."

"Quam Sit Humantier Vivendum."--"How can I live a more human life?"

"You should not see the desert as some far away place of little rain. There are many forms of thirst."-William Loneweische

"Its not about how many times you fall, but how many times you get up; that's where true skill lies, in determination of the human heart. So fall seven times, but stand up eight."

"Kindness is the only service that will stand the storm of life and not wash out. It will wear well and be remembered long after the prism of politeness or the complexion of courtesy has faded away."

"Strong people make as many and as ghastly mistakes as weak people. The difference is that strong people admit them, laugh at them, learn from them. This is how they become strong."-Richard Needham.

"You may make mistakes but you are not a failure until you start blaming someone else."

"It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to fall in love with someone-but it takes a lifetime to forget someone."-Anonymous

" 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

"Words, like nature, half reveal and half conceal the soul within."

There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.

-Ernest Hemingway

There are only two things that are infinite; the universe and stupidity- and I'm not sure about the universe.

-Albert Einstein

Quoteth the raven, "Nevermore."

-Edgar Allan Poe

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

-Douglas Adams

The only wisdom is knowing that you know nothing.

-Socrates

Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight,

And his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.

-Oscar Wilde

When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer him
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
Is it time for your medication or mine?
Oh, I'm so sorry! I forgot that you're an idiot!
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends grab those knives and stab those bastards back for you.
To put it nicely, I hope you choke
It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.
God created man before woman because every masterpiece needs a rough draft.
MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!
Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight.
It's tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?
Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.
Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.
Write like no one is gonna read your words.
BE YOURSELF. It's hard to be someone else anyway.
Even before you say sorry (volunteer or otherwise), think about how you would feel in their shoes. THEN you can properly say sorry
Ever remember the quote "If you believe, you can do it!" Gah! Why is it that no matter how I believe I CAN'T FLY!? - IReadNoNonsense
The pen may be mightier, but the sword still hurts like hell.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

"Censorship, one way to rip out and crush someone's soul and heart."

"Careful, you're bullshit is showing..." - Anonymous

"I have mastered everything a man can do, then I did it again barefoot and in heels." - Anonymous

"I'm not insane, I just haven't been medicated yet." - anonymous

"Sometimes I question my sanity and then I remember there isn't any to actually question..." - anonymous

"I'm not a klutz, gravity, inanimate objects, doors, and walls are just out to kill me." - anonymous

"Would chocolate make you feel better?" "No, but I'm pretty sure punching you in the face would." - anonymous

"I'm the kind of girl that as soon as my feet hit the ground in the morning, the devil goes 'Oh shit, she's awake.'" - Anonymous

"Some people just need to be high-fived in the face...with a steel chair...wrapped in barbwire. Then dipped in alcohol and covered in salt. And then kicked in the trachea with cleats, just incase they were having trouble getting the point." - anonymous

"They really shouldn't bitch about our generation, since they're the dumbasses that raised it." - anonymous

"Ten points to the House of Morons for realizing I really don't give a rat's ass." - Anonymous

"Sometimes I go to this really dark place, and, well it's terrifying really, when it happens and I feel like I'm drowning in it. But even though it scares the crap out me, knowing that I have that kind of darkness in me, I feel like I come away stronger every time I come back from that place. Because it's there and it's a part of me, but I don't let it dictate the way I live my life and even though the darkness is there, lurking at the back of my mind, I can still look out at the world and just...smile because I know, I just know, I'll be okay in the end, even if it doesn't seem like it. I know I won't break, bend maybe, but I won't break." - Anonymous

"I'm not that kind of doctor, I don't have the-" "What, time?" "Temperament." Bruce Banner & Tony Stark, Iron Man 3

"We have a Hulk." Tony Stark, Avengers

"We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all." Andrew 'The Jock' Clark, The Breakfast Club.

"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death." - Robert Fulghum

"Love the battle between chaos and imagination." Robert Fulghum

"Maybe we should develop a Crayola bomb as our next secret weapon. A happiness weapon. A Beauty Bomb. And every time a crisis developed, we would launch one." Robert Fulgum

"We’re all a little weird, and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." - Dr. Seuss

"Never say goodbye because saying goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting"- Peter Pan

"You know that place between sleep and awake; that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I will always love you, that's where I will be waiting."- Peter Pan

"I believe whatever doesn't kill you, simply makes you... Stranger." - The Joker, The Dark Knight

"I took Gotham's white knight and I brought him down to our level. It wasn't hard. You see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little push!" -The Joker, The Dark Knight

"Well-behaved women seldom make history" - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

"The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says, 'It's a girl.'" - Shirley Chisholm