REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):
1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)
2. Meet the recruitment bunny!
3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!
4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!
5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!
6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!
7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?
8. WORLD DOMINATION! Most PWNZORS reason!

I used to hate it when aunts and grandmas, used to come up to me at weddings and pinch my cheeks and say "Your next" "Your next". Well they stopped doin that crap when i started to do it to them at funerals.

Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that mother fucker upside the head. Pass it on...

Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

"Love your enemies! It really pisses them off"

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly i think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," i don't think many people would be dead... (L!!)

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

The few people who would die laughing if the newest fashion was not breathing are brilliant

Good friends give you a ride. Close friends buy you a car. Best friends are the getting-away-from-the-scene-of-the-crime driver.

Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public

Always forgive our enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Never interrupt your opponent while he’s making a mistake.

Guns don't kill people. I do

. "People fear the strange and unusual. I am the strange and unusual."

"When other little girls wanted to be ballerinas, I kinda wanted to be a VAMPIRE

." my imaginary friend doesn't like you either

i hate it wen the voices argue wit my imaginary friends

Smile. It confuses people.

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit

Children in frontseats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.

He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it. She Said: You wear pants don't you?

You Say Pink, I Say Black
You Say Miley Cyrus, I say, Who
You Say Zac Efron, I say, "You're so funny!"
You Say Pop, I Say Rock
You Say I'm Weird, I say you're normal. -shudders-
PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE IF YOU AGREE

You say BABY PINK
I say BLOOD RED
You say HANNAH MONTANA
I say THREE DAYS GRACE
You say HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL
I say VAMPIRE KNIGHT
You say RAP
I say ROCK
You say I'm WEIRD
I say, "AND?"

PLEASE DON"T READ!!

There's a 13 year old girl, and she wished
that her dad would come home from
the army, because he'd been having
problems with his heart and right
leg. It was 2:53 p.m . When she made
her wish. At 3:07 p.m. (14 minutes
later), the doorbell rang, and
there her Dad was, luggage and all!!

I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been
having trouble in my job and on the
verge of quitting. I made a simple
wish that my boss would get a new
job. That was at 1:35 and at 2:55
there was an announcement that he
was promoted and was leaving for
another city. Believe me...this
really works!

My name is Ann and I am 45 years
of age. I had always been single
and had been hoping to get into a
nice, loving relationship for many
years. While kind of daydreaming
(and right after receiving this email)
I wished that a quality person would
finally come into my life. That was at
9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AM
a FedEx delivery man came into my
office.He was cute, polite and
could not stop smiling at me. He
started coming back almost everyday
(even without packages) and asked me
out a week later. We married 6
months later and now have been
happily married for 2 years.

What a great email it was!!

Just scroll down to the end, but
while you do, think of a wish.
Make your wish when you have completed
scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the
number of minutes it will take for your
wish to come true. ex.you are 25 years
old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish
to come true).

Go for it!

SCROLL DOWN!

STOP!

Congratulations! Your wish will
now come true in your age minutes.

Now follow this carefully...it
can be very rewarding!

If you repost this within the next 5 min.
something major that you've been wanting
will happen.

This is scary!

The phone will ring right after you repost!

If you're as outraged as I am about the FF.net people deleting stories, then sign this petition! There are 27000 people and we only need 35000 people to bring it to a halt!