Alex's life has become living hell from not only from MI6 but now from school. When the bulling goes to far Alex finds him self alone on the streets, trying to balance three different lives.

When Jack dies Alex decides he's had enough so he leaves. But MI6 isn't ready to let him go that easily. Unable to let him go on missions without the risk of him escaping, they strike a deal with the SAS...

When Artemis gets hit in the gut by some mad girl running away from shaved gorillas, he never expected to meet her again. Instead, he gets the worst nightmare of a life time, and may have FINALLY met his match...in his best friend. Money.

3 young film and drama students decide that for their 'How to...' project they will make a movie on how to make Artemis Fowl- the boy famous for showing no interest in girls- fall in love. But what happens when things don't go quite according to plan?

Scorpia does not forgive or forget, a lesson Alex will learn when he is kidnapped and sold to them like a slave. What do they want? and will Alex survive long enough to find out? AN: I'm back and writing

CRACK!FIC. Alex Rider stumbles across a seemingly innocent chatroom one afternoon. The problem is, it seems he's not the only one... This is what happens when you dump MI6, Yassen, SAS and more in the same chatroom! Slash later on for humor purposes only.

For the people who wanted to see Alex sit through The Talk. Alex and Wolf are about to be executed, and Wolf, being quite nervous, starts on a rather embarrassing subject. Enjoy! COMPLETE