Hey, people, if ur looking for eragon on the book category, look for the inheritence cycle

Wow are we that stupid?

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions:
"Put on fork and eat."
(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's just a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On artificial bacon:
"Real artificial bacon bits".
(So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: will let you dance with your boyfriend
BEST FRIENDS: will scream " NO! You can’t have her, she’s mine!"

FRIENDS: when you cry, will ask what’s wrong
BEST FRIENDS: would have already killed the person who made you cry

FRIENDS: are inseparable
BEST FRIENDS: can stay separated and nothing changes

FRIENDS: will ask what’s wrong when your crying
BEST FRIENDS: will already know your sad when you show no face expression

FRIENDS: asks for something to eat
BEST FRIENDS: eats all the food and says, "what’s for dinner?"

FRIENDS: calls your parents "Mr. and Mrs."
BEST FRIENDS: calls your parents "mom and dad"

FRIENDS: will ask you for a piece of your sandwich.
BEST FRIENDS: will take it and eat it all without you realizing it.

FRIENDS: will help you up when you trip
BEST FRIENDS: will trip you again a few minutes later

FRIENDS: will bail you out of jail
BEST FRIENDS: will be sitting beside you say " Damn that was fun!"

FRIENDS: says...hi...hello...bye…and walks away…
BEST FRIENDS: always stops by your side & asks how are you doing??

FRIENDS: has never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: has a shoulder soggy from your tears.

FRIENDS: thinks the friendship is over, when you have an argument.
BEST FRIENDS: knows that it’s not a friendship, until after you’ve had a fight.

FRIENDS: hates it when you call, after he has gone to bed.
BEST FRIENDS: asks you why you took so long to call.

FRIEND: when visiting, acts like a guest.
BEST FRIENDS: opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

FRIENDS: wonders of your love story…
BEST FRIENDS: are jealous about your romantic history

FRIENDS: expect you to be always there for any help.
BEST FRINDS: is always there, wherever you require any help

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butts that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: will go to a concert with you.
BEST FRIENDS: will kidnap the band with you.

FRIENDS: will help you find the way when you're lost.
BEST FRIENDS: will be the one messing with your compass, stealing your map and giving you bad directions.

FRIENDS: will help you learn to drive.
BEST FRIENDS: will help you roll the car into the lake so you can collect insurance.

FRIENDS: will watch your pets when you go away.
BEST FRIENDS: won't let you go away

FRIEND: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: they ask you for their number (cuz they can't remember it, it’s on speed dial)

FRIENDS: borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back
BEST FRIENDS: has a closet full of your stuff

FRIENDS: will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
BEST FRIENDS: will always go with you.

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this!