I am older than 1 and way younger than 92.

Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts.

1) Seamus Finnigan is not after my lucky charms

2) I do not weigh the same as a duck. Nor should I try to act like one.

3) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

4) I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.

5) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class

6) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss

7) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda

8) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar

9) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy

10) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month"

11) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches

13) The Giant Squid is not an approriate date to the Yule Ball

14) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Moblie, Robin!"

15) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.

16) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor

17) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental

18) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny. Even if he is wearing an orange anorak

19) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends"

20) I will ont dress up in a Dementor's suit and use a dustbuster on Harry's lips to make him do what I want.

21) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.

22) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"

23) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell "Ni!" from various directions.

24) I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance when I enter a classroom

25) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" everytime I apparate.

26) I will not steal Griffyndor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallway.

27) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls.

28) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.

29) I am not allowed to begin Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes"

30) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.

31) The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife

32) "Draco Malfoy, Take it up the Arse" is not an acceptable quidditch chant.

33) I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.

34) I am not Allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.

34) It is a mad idea to tell Proffesor Mcgonagal that she takes herself too seriouvsly

35) "Ya'll check this crap out!" is not an aprropriate way to announce that I am about to conduct an expirimental spell

36) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.

37) I will not offer to pose nude for Collin Creevy.

38) I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.

39) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.

40) Dumbledore does not have "nakie time".

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" Don’t answer him
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
Is it time for your medication or mine?
Oh, I'm so sorry! I forgot that you're an idiot!
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends grab those knives and stab those bastards back for you.
To put it nicely, I hope you choke
It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.
God created man before woman because every masterpiece needs a rough draft.
MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!
Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight.
It's tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?
Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.
Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.
Write like no one is gonna read your words.
BE YOURSELF. It's hard to be someone else anyway.
Even before you say sorry (volunteer or otherwise), think about how you would feel in their shoes. THEN you can properly say sorry
Ever remember the quote "If you believe, you can do it!" Gah! Why is it that no matter how I believe I CAN'T FLY!?
The pen may be mightier, but the sword still hurts like hell.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
"I think, therefore I get a headache."
"I smile because I have no idea what's going on."
"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."
"Death is life's way of telling you you're fired."
God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die.
You know what! Earth sucks, I’m going home!
Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you keep on talking
"What is this 'kindness' you speak of?"
Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them!
"Somehow, in some way that was all your fault."
Retreating! Hell no, we're just attacking the other direction!
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.

Things To Ponder:

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

So what's the speed of dark?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station...

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?

Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?

Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?

Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ?

Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?

YOUR BOY SIDE:

You love hoodies
You love jeans
dogs are better then cats
it’s hilarious when people get hurt
you've played with/against boys on a team
shopping is torture
sad movies suck
you own/owned an XBOX
you own/owned a Wii
you played with Hot Wheels as a little kid
at some point in life you wanted to be a firefighter
you own/owned a DS PS2 or Sega
you used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
you watch sports on TV
gory movies are cool
you go to your dad for advice
you own like a trillion baseball hats
you used to/do collect football collector cards
baggy sweatpants are cool to wear all the way
its kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people
green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favourite colours
you love to go crazy and not care what other people think
sports are fun
you talk with food in your mouth
you sleep at night with your socks on sometimes

TOTAL= 17

YOUR GIRL SIDE

you love to shop
you wear eye-liner
you wear the colour pink
you go to your mom for advice
you considered cheer leading a sport
you hate wearing the colour black
you like going to town
you like getting manicures and/or pedicures
you like wearing jewellery
you cried watching The Notebook
you have worn dangly earrings
shopping is one of your favourite hobbies
you don't like the movie Star Wars
you are/were in gymnastics
you smile a lot more than you should
you have more than 10 pairs of shoes
sometimes you care about what you look like
sometimes you like wearing dresses
you like wearing body spray
you wear flip flops
you used to play with dolls as a kid
you have put make-up on others
you like being the star of almost everything
you love shoe shopping
pink is one of your favourite colours

Total= 6

Yay for being a Tomboy!