How to make shopping fun:

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

Twilight Oath
I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlies sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
When ever I am in the Emergency Room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom
I promise to to remember Rose
Whenever I see someone that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful curly hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my emotions are unfurled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know

Message to the world:

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up, I was BLACK, When I'm sick, I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun, I'm BLACK, When I'm cold, I'm BLACK, When I die, I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born, you were PINK, When you grow up, you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun, you turn RED, When you're cold, you turn BLUE, And when you die, you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
(Post this on your profile if you hate racism.)

kissing is healthy.

bananas are good for period pain.

it's good to cry.

chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

lying is actually unhealthy.

you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.

89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.

it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.

chocolate will make you feel better.

most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

a good friend never judges.

a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.

boys aren't worth your tears.

we all love surprises.

Now... make a wish.

Wish REALLY hard!!

WISH WISH WISH WISH

Your wish has just been recieved.

Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...

Your wish will be granted.