![]() Author has written 3 stories for Mortal Instruments, and Infernal Devices, Cassandra Clare. so OMGs I just finished blood of olympus, and I won't give any spoilers away, but if anyone wants to PM me about it please do! "Why fit in when you were born to stand out?" -Dr. Seuss "Don't cry because it's over... smile because it happened." -Dr. Seuss 95% percent of girls would cry their hearts out if Justin Beiber were to jump off a cliff. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you would be one of the 5% who would bring popcorn. If you can't convince them, confuse them. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you. What happens if you get scared half to death... twice? I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous. (I am not dauntless) I had amnesia once--or twice. You know what? I don't really even remember. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is my ceiling? When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face. (I am so clumsy!) Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? I smile because I have no idea what's going on! One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door... Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there! I'm not afraid of death! What's it going to do? Kill me? I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned. Stressed is Desserts backwards :) Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most. You're laughing now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? (I am a younger twin, so this is mere minutes to me :D ) I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. There's a light at the end of every tunnel...lets just hope it's not a train. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? I am in shape...round is a shape. Boys are like trees – they take fifty years to grow up. Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is. Forecast for tonight: darkness. Love your enemies. It gets them really confused. If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the heck are you scared?! Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drank my water Kids Are Quick TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America . TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? TEACHER: Glen, how do you spell 'crocodile?' TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. ' TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher. Funny Warning Labels "Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet. "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs. "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron. "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron. "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer. "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer. "Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device. "Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket. "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan. "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists. "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool. "Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant. "Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard. "Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn. "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter. "Battery may explode or leak." -- On a battery. "Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer. "Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow. "This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater. "May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray. "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock." "Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box. "Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup. "Caution: Shoots rubber bands." -- On a product called "Rubber Band Shooter." "Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee. "Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush. "Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife. "Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old. "Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery. "Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion. "Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer. "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven. "For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod. "For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener. "Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener. "Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror. "Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski. "Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm. "Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty. "Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia. "Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone. "Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers. "Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink. "Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate. "Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant. "Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison. "Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757. "Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid. "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller. "Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels. "Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck. "Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron. "Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine. "For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights. "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume. "This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door. "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station. "Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets. Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box. "Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box. "Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter. "Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy. "Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice. "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers. "Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan. "Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw. "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer. "Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts. "Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing. "Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal. "Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it." "Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds. "Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills. "Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle. "Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer. "Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain. "Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame. "Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets. "Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack. "Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV. "For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack. "Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone. "Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch. "Do not wear for sumo wrestling." -- From a set of washing instructions.The 27 Commandments of Fanfiction 1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for grammar and spelling errors. The fanfiction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for good reason. Use it. 2.Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than 100 words, unless it is a drabble. This displeases the masses. 3.Thou shalt not put author's notes in the middle of the story. 4.Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a fic, unless the characters are actually texting. 5.Thou shalt keep to one tense, and only one, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly. 6.Apply the above number 5 to POVs as well. (I use multiple POV's, but not multiple first person POVs) 7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing featured in your fanfiction. It probably is rather hilarious. 8.Thou shalt not use , ;, or :( in a fanfiction to show the emotion exhibited by a character. 9.Thou shall try-eth to keep characters in character! 10.Thou shall not treat every criticism as a flame. 11.The author's note is not a spot for your personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so. 12.Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase "first fic" in thy summary. (Did this. I've failed two of these already...) 13. Thy created characters must not have names that exceed five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name have more than five words in length. 14. Thou shall not insert thyself into the story line as thyself or as a character- yes we know that you are in love with yourself and are very narcissistic, we just don’t want to read about how you end up with the main character. 15.If thou art writing a story that does not follow the original story line, point it out in the beginning. 16.Thou shall not make a person randomly smart or powerful unless stating a reason for the change (a good reason). 17.Thou shalt show and not tell. 18.Thou shalt not EVER use the phrase "I suck at summaries" in-est thine summary. This annoys thine readers. 19.Thou shalt not write the same way thou speak-est- writing is an art. 20.Thou shalt ALWAYS spell the word "okay" correctly. Using the letter "K" is an unacceptable compromise. 21. Thou shalt only use clichés when thou a) art writing a parody or b) find a new and interesting twist to make such clichés bearable to thine reader. 22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise thine readers shalt be confuse-ed. 23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READER AND THE FANFICTION GODS. They have given thee an ENTER key with good reason. 24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on, it displeases the masses and causes thy readers to lose their vision and make angels weep. 25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before you writeth the fic. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story. 26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside". This shows lack of creativeness and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside. 27. Thou shall use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers. I am part of the review campaign. We feel that you should review every story you read. Whether it is constructive criticism or praise, it lets the author know that there are people reading their stories. If you agree, post this on your profile and... REVEIW STORIES!! Girl Comebacks! Man: Where have you been all my life? Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Man: Is this seat empty? Man: Your place or mine? Man: So, what do you do for a living? Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Man: Your body is like a temple. Man: I would go to the ends of the world for you. Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and i together. Man: Your eyes, they're amazing. Man: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girls, copy and paste this on your profile! THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE BOOK AND THE MOVIE (PJO: The Lightning Thief) 1. Since when can Poseidon show up outta the water really huge and MADE outta water, then shrink? Don't even get me started on the sea of monsters film I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty You know you're a book addict when... You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on. Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading. You write fan fictions about the book. You try to get all of your friends to read your favorite books. (My friend now loves TMI) You accidentally call everyone by the character's names. ( called one of my best friends Tessa. you know, from TID) Everything reminds you of the book. You quote random lines all the time. You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class. You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod. You've got a book memorized. You've read a book more than five times. You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days. You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like. You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend. You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional. You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional. Your idol is a character from a book. I am a book addict and proud of it! If you are, then copy and paste this on your profile page. WiseOne27 SeaweedBrain013/Sebz CloudyAlore/Faye XxxBeLLxXxGiRlxxX76/Bells xXthe shadow huntressxX annapercy1 Hula The New Ace of Spies 7Cerberus7 Storyteller-221/Kali Lennor AthenaPersephone14 Laserfire PoseidonChick101 ArabellaVioletGray AnnabethIsTheBest GothicNicoLuver WelshGirl4life Lukercy555 XxWarriorsrockxX Tazmaster Clarisse Daughter Of Ares wisegirl416 catsrawesome ink2parchment I prefer infernal devices to mortal instruments. NO HATE for this. I just do. Did anyone else dislike the ending of the mortal instruments film? Can't they just stick to the book? Also the angelic rune is hardly mentioned in the book. Now suddenly Clary is drawing it everywhere. WTF? Hope city of ashes redeemes the films. I'm not sure if this is true, but: Hi, my name is Amy Bruce. I am 7 years old, and have severe lung cancer. I also have a tumor in my brain, from repeated beatings. Doctors say I will die soon if this isn't fixed, and my family can't pay the bills. The Make A Wish Foundation has agreed to pay 7 cents for every time this message is sent on.(just to be clear, this isn't me. The message is in first person. When I read it on someones profile I was confused for a second and acctually thought she was talking about herself) For those of you who send this along, I thank you so much, but those of you who don't send it, what goes around comes around. Have a heart. Re-send this, help her. Well done if you acctually read my profile. It's getting so long! |
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