Talyn EllieBell
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 12-28-09, id: 2194524, Profile Updated: 10-22-11
Author has written 3 stories for Vampire Academy, and Corpse Bride.

I am not deleting what I wrote two years ago, I am editing it. I had the worst spelling!! I'm editing everything now!! Now I know how to use grammar and spelling(although I'm not the best speller)

Now I LOVE MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE!!!!!!!!!!! Horror, make-up, zombies, ect! I still love dolls!! And urban legends!!

Heyz well uh I hate writing these things but...here I goz (Btw the eyes the ones with the brown red ring remind of Strigoi eyes so that's why its up there and I got it from a Sims 2 download site)

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile.(BOLD the ones you are.) this descibes me, read down, and below there;s more!!!

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".-...
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player. -Too bad I'm a girl.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social. )
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I have been to THERAPY so I MUST be crazy.
I have been ABUSED, so I MUST be an abuser.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.
I'm EMO so I MUST be GAY.
I hang out with EMOS so I MUST be EMO too.
I BLEND IN so I MUST be a POSER.

98 of teenagers have participated in underaged drinking and drugs. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy this into your profile wearing a smirk of pride

-I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile!

Fave books: Vampire Academy, House of Night, Vampire Kisses,the books with Ever and the imortals(I forgotz name), I LOVE TWILIGHT!!! I AM IN LOVE WITH LIVING DEAD DOLLS!! I has 5 and 2 minis, Orchid, Squeek, Envy, Calico(and Muzzy) Hollywood(norm not B/W) and mini St Sadie and mini Lizzie... xD and now I have Dottie-Rose(w/ eybrows) and Hun, Tessa, Kilbaby, Agana,Nohell, my custom Monroe, and my other mini custom Annie.

any Pirates Of The Caribbean, anything bout Pirates. I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT BEING ON!! Life has been in the ways... And damn writers block, My VA ff is on HOLD for now, my Corpse Bride one is being re-written and I have some new ideas...

Fave movies: ANTHING Tim Burton speshly Corpse Bride!! Ik it off by heart and randomly quote it, alot, POTC, Nancy Drew, thoses cute Chipmunk movies(come on whp doesn' love talking/singing chipmunks?)

Avatar, Ink Heart, that one movie with the kid who has to get somethings to put on a belt aha The Dark Is Rising, Annie, Tinker Bell(yes Ik its for little kids but I love faeries lol and yes Ik im a retard) Alice in Wonderland, Twilight saga...

I use to have a blog but forgot my password and the new passowrd and I'm bad at remembering passwords.

Some funny quotes I found(btw there are some swear words well british ones anyways)

"Bugger" Captain Jack Sparrow

"Maggots hehehe" Emily The Corpse Bride

"Your Mad" "Good cuz I wasn't this would probly never work" Beckett and Sparrow

"Oh sod off Emch" (from some ramdom book I'm rewriting err sort of rewriting with help from a BBFFLL)

"B..But your dead" Victor van Dort

"Whoa" Wall-e

"Evaaaaaaaaaa" Wall-e

"No don't go in to the hallway...It's full of SQURLES!!" .D.Skully(my BFFL)

"Pirates, pirates, pirates...FAERIE DUST" said by me at some sleepova(Or that might just be lele lyin??)

"Your a diamond mate" Ja-- Captain Jack Sparrow

"They said guns dont ppl, ppl kill ppl, well i think guns help if you sat there and yelled BANG i dont think ud kill alota ppl"

"I love you Roza" Dimitri Belikov

That's what I was supposed to say” Dimitri Belikov

ok thats nearly all but I cant be bother putting the rest on :P my BBFFLL is a Captain Tammy Strawberry, lele,skully, AND I AM NOW BORED buh bye

btw please review my stories if you like them please begs

hugs Talyn (btw Talyn is not my real name)


Bella: "It's...a cow."
Edward: "No, Bella. It's a dinosaur. Of course it's a cow!"
Bella: "You...want me to eat it?"
Edward: "No. I want you to throw a stick at it and see if it brings it back."
Bella: "Feeling a little sarcastic today?"
Edward: "Just a bit"

Words Of Love

Lissa: Do I Ever cross your mind?
Christian: No.
Lissa: Do you like me?
Christian: Not really.
Lissa: Do you want me?
Christain: No.
Lissa: Would you cry if I left?
Christian: No
Lissa: Would you do anything for me?
Christain: No.
Lissa: What would you choose, me or your life?
Christain: My life.
Lissa runs away in shock and pain and Christain runs after her and says:
The reason you never cross my mind because your always on my mind.
The reason I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I choose my life is because you are my life

If you are OBBSESSED with Mad Hatters, bottles labled 'DRiNK mE' Cheshire Cats and ALiCe IN WONDeRLaND copy/paste this!

(\)_(/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination!

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your signature/profile if you are one of the 8 who would be laughing your head off.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If you cried when Dimitri got turned copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this to your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you walk around school looking for pale-skinned, inhumanly beautiful classmates with red or gold eyes, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are the kind of person who walks into a door or wall, and then apologizes to it, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this to your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are obsessed with fan fiction copy this to your profile

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this to your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever spelled your name wrong, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this to your profile

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, copy and paste this to your profile

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile :D

If you have had a ‘Blonde Moment’ copy and paste this to your profile. (I have and I'm not even a blonde!)

If your best friend thinks your crazy for not reading Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and/or Breaking Dawn copy and paste this to your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love Dimitri Belikov copy/paste this t your profile

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever stood straight up, then fell down for no apperent reason, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever lost your sunglasses, then found then on your head, copy this to your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you've ever lost a bet to yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

if they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and past this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If there are times when you just want to annoy someone for the heck of it, copy this to your profile.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!! XD

If you ever wondered who made up all the 'copy this into your profile' thingies then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE

If you're happy and you know it clap your hands...and then copy and paste this into your profile.-

If Orlando Bloom told you to "stop breathing", 99 percent of girls currently on the face of the Earth would be dead right now. Put this on your profile if you'd be the 1 percent still alive and laughing.

If you are really random copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever fell down and told the floor that you are sorry copy and paste this to your profile.

If you love inside jokes, but hate when you ave no clue what some of them mean copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are nosy copy and paste this to your profile.

If you love life copy and paste this to your profile!!

If you ever feel like stuffed animals are looking at you copy and paste this to your profile.


BEST FRIENDS 'N FRIENDS:

FRIENDS: Never ask anything to eat or drink

BESTFRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food

FREINDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs., and grandma and grandpa

BESTFRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMS AND GRAMPS

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail

BESTFRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying DAMN we screwed up

FRIENDS: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night

BESTFRIENDS: Will pick out "The Ring" for movie night then scare you and himself/herself in the process

FRIENDS: Never see you cry

BESTFRIENDS: Won’t tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when you’re not down anymore

FRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and say nice to meet you

BESTFRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and scare the BLEEP out of him/her by threatening to break every bone in his/her body if he/she hurts you

FRIENDS: Will say you can do better

BESTFRIENDS: Will call him and say "you have seven days to live"

FRIENDS: Ask why you're crying

BESTFRIENDS: Already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

FRIENDS: Will help you move

BESTFRIENDS: Will help you move a dead body

FRIENDS: help you up when you fall

BESTFRIENDS: continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

FRIENDS: give you their umbrella in the rain

BESTFRIENDS: take yours and say, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"

FRIENDS: wipes your tears when you're rejected

BESTFRIENDS: goes up to him and say, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

FRIENDS: will bail you out of jail

BESTFRIENDS: would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number

BESTFRIENDS: Have you on speed dial

FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff and give it back a few days later

BESTFRIENDS: Lose your stuff and tell you, "My bad. Here’s a tissue"

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you

BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life

FREINDS: Will leave you behind if that's what everyone else is doing

BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door

BESTFRIENDS: Would walk right in and say, "IM HOME"

FRIENDS: Have to be told not to tell

BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough

BESTFRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "Girl, drink the rest of that you know we don't waste"

FRIENDS: Comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: Go over to his house and kick his ass

FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail

BEST FRIENDS: Sit next to you singing the jail song

FRIENDS: Tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house

BEST FRIENDS: Are the ones getting fined by the police with you

FRIENDS: Think you're insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline

BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping right after you

FRIENDS: Come over every couple of months for a sleepover

BEST FRIENDS: Are your weekend boarders

FRIENDS: Are offended when you make fun of them

BEST FRIENDS: Kick your ass and all's forgiven

FRIENDS: Are shy around your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: Will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine

FRIENDS: Don't see you if you're sick

BEST FRIENDS: Are asking why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone

FRIENDS: Dare you to scream into the street

BEST FRIENDS: Dare you to go streaking

FRIENDS: Call you retarded for running through the bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!"

BEST FRIENDS: Are screaming and running with you

FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies)

BESTFRIENDS: Are for life

FREINDS: Will ignore this

BESTFRIENDS: Will repost this crap.


One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church.

"Reverend," she said, "I have a problem. My husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!" Mr. Jones cried as his wife jabbed him in the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off once more. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck with the hatpin again.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that god damned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the Reverend


Forget a prince with a horse, I want a vampire with a sexy Russian accent. Forget being a princess, I wish I was a vampire.

Bob tried to take my VA books. Bob isnt with us anymore.

Dearest Dimitri, dammit why arent you real.!

If you belive your own Dimitri Belikov is out there somewhere, add this.

You're laughing at me now because your older than me by mere months... but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? ;-)

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, post this.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this!


If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your signature/profile if you are one of the 8 who would be laughing your head off.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!


In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children

2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts

3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping

4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire

5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking

6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado

7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts

8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children

9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.

10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping

11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regualr soap

12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness

13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required

14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use

15. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

16. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

17. On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

18. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

19. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought??...)

20. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

21. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

22. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because??...)

23. On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

24. On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

25. On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

26. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

27. On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

28. On a Korean kitchen knife-- "Warning: keep out of children."
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

29. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity

39 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

38. Yell OHMIGOD I love you randomly

39. point at some radnom dude/girl and Say You left me for her/him?? What the fuck?

Having the love of you're life say "we can still be friends" is like having you're dog die and your mother saying you can still keep it

ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS:

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fing way Paper can beat Rock.

Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that sht up in 2 seconds. When I play rock, paper, scissors I always choose rock...

So then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say "Oh st I'm sorry I thought your paper would protect you, ahole!

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

And God(CARLISLE) said "Let there be Jasper,"...and it was gooooood

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling

When I am at Hogwarts I will not sing: "I'm Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmasters office.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorious. But not so much tastey!

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

I agree with the dictionary. girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3?

I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile,but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone.

"Doctors say I have multiple personalties. We disagree with that."

"When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did."

"It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with."

"I'm not afraid of Death. What's he gonna do, kill me?"

Put this in your profile if you know a person or two who needs to get squished by a bus... or Tyler Crowley's van

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together."

"Education is important, school however, is another matter."

"Don’t mess with me - I've got a stick."

"Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable."

"Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't."

"I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either."

"1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you."

"Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls."

"Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped."

"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'"

"He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.
She Said: You wear pants don't you?"

"Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that."

"Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over."

"You know your addicted when Volterra is added to your computer dictionary."

"Whoever said that nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door."

"I'm the kind of girl who falls and apologizes for it."

"I do not suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it."

"I smile cause I don't know what the hell is going on."


If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'butterfly, Enrica (i always change my penname)(tehehehe) PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, mahalo4ursupport, Kuro Uchiha, inuyasha1106, kamiry, VampireMistressNuricoUzumaki, Jasper's Delicate Angel, FAXfan,Giulia.DaSilva, CullenLover1132, Talyn EllieBell

If y,ou think all the good ones are either married, gay, or fictional creatures, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have/had a scary crush on a book, anime, or game character, then copy and post this into your profile

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with Fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you always say 'uhhh...' when someone questions you, instead of replying shortly, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you jsut see two reveiws, paste this in your profile

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy and paste this on your profile.

If you or someone you know has ever run through something (glass door, window, wall, etc) copy this to your profile.(a screen door)

If you have an annoying younger --or older-- sibling, please copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.(one of my friends can do it)

If you have ever wondered why someone decided to milk a cow, copy/paste this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, copy this into your profile

If you think Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Lindsey Lohan should stay in Rehab copy paste this

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

31 Good Reasons why GIRLS are always the BEST

1. We got off the Titanic first(Ha)

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, free dinners, free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. Its possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We have ways of getting what we want easily.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. If we act like a guy, we're called tough. But if a guy acts like a girl... well... who's the weakling now?

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We have style.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

30. We're cute and most of us aren't retarded.

31. There's the 'Ladies first' rule.

Interesting and insane laws:

Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a 500 dollar fine. (Hmm... I'm not that sure all of the suicide terrorists will be scared off by that.)

It is illegal for horses to eat fire hydrants. (What... the...)

It is illegal to allow a dog to be in a public place without its master on a leash. (Whoever passed this law was obviously half-asleep.)

It is illegal to allow a pet cat to run loose without a taillight. (Lol...)

It is illegal to carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock. (Oh great. Looks like we'll have to wait an extra hour to have lunch then.)

It is illegal to drive a motor vehicle on city streets unless a man with a lantern is walking ahead of it. (In that case most of the world should be locked up in prison.)

It is illegal to eat in a place that is on fire. (I'm sure we'll all be thinking of that grilled cheese snadwich when the building's on fire.)

It is illegal to purchase an alcoholic beverage after midnight on Sunday, yet one may do so on Monday. (Makes sense if you think about it, but on first impression...)

It is illegal to purchase or use Sparklers in the city, yet you can buy fully disassembled automatic machine guns. (This might be better off in the "Only in America" section.)

It is illegal to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool. (A pity. That's a novelty I'd pay money to see.)

It is illegal to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale. (Strange, but not illogical until you take into account that there is no coastline at all in the state in which this is a law...)

It is illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep. (AHH! HELP! FIRE!)

The penalty for jumping off a building is death. (Whoever came up with this? We should give him a Nobel Prize for such a masterful logical conclusion.)

Quotes and random stuff

Let's play truth or dare! Or maybe just dare, because nobody seems to tell the truth anymore.

If you can't convince them, confuse them. (Smiles evilly)

After all is said and done a hell of a lot more is said than done. (Blabber mouths…)

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. (It’s their fault in the first place.)

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher. (I bet on it!)

I never pirated it...it was donated. By the file fairy. I put a blank CD under my pillow at night... and voila! (She also did this for all my other pirated CD’s. I’m innocent!)

When I hear somebody say "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?" (Death?)

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy. (Now this is very trueevil laughter)

Remember this, if someone is bothering you. It takes 40 muscles to frown, but it takes only three to stick up your middle finger and say, "Bite me!" (What if they actually do? Hmm… You use more muscles to scream bloody murder of course.)

A wise man once said, “I don't know, go ask the women!" (Yes, you have to admit women are better. Very smart of him. I’ll go give him a cookie.)

Men are like slinkies. They bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs. (Boing… boing… boing… SPLAT!)

My imaginary friend thinks you have a very serious problem... (We both agree on it.)

There is nothing more depressing than a hollow chocolate bunny. (Where’s all the chocolate?! I spent all those money on… nothing!?)

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets. (People and their long memory… tsk tsk tsk.)

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours. (Hours later…)

If all else fails, read the instructions. (Oh… So that’s how you do it! Stupid me…)

Someday we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. (Nothing… It was nothing…)

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. (Ha! I hit it again! I RULE! YEAH!)

When life gives you lemons throw them at the mean people and hope it gets them in the eyes. (Take that! I hope you go blind!)

You can't have any of my nothing! (It’s mine!!)

When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout. (Catchy…)

It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn’t take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face. (…)

If every cloud has a silver lining, then hundreds of people have been struck by lightning looking for it. (Ooh! Where’s the silver- AAH! I JUST GOT STRUCK BY LIGHTNING!! Oh yeah, real smooth.)

The harder you try, the dumber you look.

If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you’re not alone. And yet, you are alone. So very alone... (Hello… lo… lo… lo… echo… echo…)

Give credit when desired. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE its weird. (May the better you win.)

Smile at people you don’t like, it makes them wonder what you did... (Mwahaha)

Life was so simple when boys had cooties! (Yup, sure was.)

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. (And they sure wish they could, too.)

I'm not random; I just have many tho- OOH A SQUIRREL! (??)

Elmo knows where you live! (Eek! He’s a stalker!)

There is no "I" in team but there is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM... (Yum. A team could eat a meat pie together… But then I can just eat it all by myself. Why bother sharing?)

My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminium foil. (Loser.)

An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. (Unless it’s Carlisle. Who would want to hit him?? A psycho, maybe.)

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor. (Now who stole my floor?!)

BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom. (And failing, if I may add.)

Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS. (Yum. barf)

Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss. (And break some bones in the progress…)

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. (I agree.)

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. (Take that, lousy piece of junk!)

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. (YOU’RE EXPELLED!!)

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. (Temptation… hmm… Oh right! I need to take a left in Robbingsville… then a right… At last! Temptation, come to mama!)

Hand over the chocolate or I will sing. (glass shatters)

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. (CRASH!)

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. (Beep beep!)

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. (No one’s looking… okay, now’s a good time to spill my Coke.)

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? (Yeah! I second that!)

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth. (You should be thanking me for my generosity instead!)

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. (Hmph.)

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff… (I dare you follow me…)

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me? (Yeah right! I challenge him this instant!)

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!

Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

Person #3: We could try to mutate it, make it a square!

Person #4: Or we could just transfer to another planet!

Person #5: Just shut up. People like you are the reason why we don’t get any happiness.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me. (Floor: You bet I do… Your feet stink.)

Go hug a cactus!

It's all fun and games until the flying monkeys attack. (Eek! It just stole my banana!)

Don't worry. When you have kids of your own, you forgive your parents. (It’s our turn to suffer…)

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more. (What the hell? Something’s up…)

All girls listen up! Remember the seven B’s: Books Before Boys Because Boys Bring Babies… Or, if you want, it could go: Boys Before Books Because Books Bring Boredom. It’s your pick.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. (Groan)

Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run away. He hates that. (Those darn souls! grumble)

Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust? (Me. Yes, I only trust me, which is why I’ talking to myself.)

You think you're all that and a bag of chips. Well I'm all that and a bag of skittles. So taste my rainbow, loser! (Evil laughter)

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. (Right? Right?)

I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y". (Translation: every day… Don’t you dare piss me off.)

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. (Yep.)

Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement. (Thanks a lot for accepting that!)

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.

Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. (do re mi fa so la ti do!! lifeboat explodes)

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. (That’s what you call word power!)

If you get scared at a movie, just throw candy at the people sitting in front of you. (That way, they’ll get mad at you, and you’ll have another thing to be scared of.)

When someone says to try to take a walk in their shoes, just roll your eyes and say their shoes are too small. (I truly do have big feet. _)

Yeah! I love wearing straight jackets, too! I get to hug myself!

Perfection is a waste of time.

Practice makes perfect. But then, nobody is perfect, so why bother practicing?

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. (How could parents let their children watch a show starring a murderer?)

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women. (Yeah!)

Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell is afraid I'll take over. (That’s how demonic I am. Mwahahaha.)

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is a human's way of saying you can't fire me, I quit.

I hear your silence loud and clear. (crickets chirping)

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more.

Join the Army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them. (Then be killed yourself.)

Boys are like skateboards, they can go fast but usually there pretty slow.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't. (Weird...)

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to these men? (Dear murderer, please don’t kill me. Sincerely, me. That’s stupid.)

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear. (One… Two… Three… Fo- !#)

Education is important; school however, is another matter.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Don't mess with me I've got a stick.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

Boys are like slinkies, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. (YES! They so are.)

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, and I laugh even harder.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real.

Moneys, sheeps, fishes and smart non retarded people what to they have in commen? They don't exsist.

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Yay! Now that is a cooler form of exercise!)

People who act friendly have an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination. (Raise your hand if this applies to you. raises hand)

If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese? (Good question.)

When two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? (Another good question.)

All I want is hot, bad ass, gorgeous, undead/dhampir, Russian God...is that too much to ask for?

All I want is a gorgeous, immortal, cold, silver Volvo owner that sparkles in the sunlight and bites me...is that too much to ask for? (Apparently so. Hmph.)

Blondes may have more fun, but Dimitri prefers brunettes! Ha! Go brunettes!

I have been diagnosed with OCD: Obsessive Cullen Disorder.

Like you don't gasp every time you see a silver Volvo. Or a dark haired 6ft something red eyed BadAssed Russian God

Every time a guy ignores me, I know it's just because he's a vampire in love with me, and he is too polite to drink my blood.

YOU REALLY KNOW YOU'VE REACHED THE POINT OF NO RETURN, AND ARE TOTALLY OBSESSED WITH TWILIGHT, WHEN YOU WATCH WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, JUST IN CASE SOMEONE CAN HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS.

When life gives you lemons, go to the store and demand a refund for those lemons. Then, rub your money in life's face!

The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.

Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up.

Directions to Llama-land:
Left at the rainbow, Right at the unicorn. And if you've passed the penguin, you've gone too far. (But I’ve reached the dragon, who is currently breathing fire into me. Help.)

1.) Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

2.) Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

3.) When other little girls wanted to be ballerinas, I kinda wanted to be a VAMPIRE.

4.) Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler

5.) Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

6.) Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?

7.) If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?

8.) "Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

9.) "Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown

10.) “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” – Unknown

11.) “Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.” – Unknown

12.) “He who laughs last didn't get it.” – Unknown

13.) Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster.

14.) Oh god! They took my freaking kidney!

15.) When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!

16.) I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.

17.) There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

18.) Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that jerk upside the head

19.) "Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

20.) Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

21.) Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

22.) You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

23.) They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly i think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," i don't think many people would be dead...

24.) I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

25.) Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public

26.) Guns don't kill people. I do.

27.) A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

28.) He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron.

29.) My imaginary friend doesn't like you either.

30.) flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

31.) Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

32.) The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

33.) The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.

34.) Assassinations is an extreme form of censorship.

35.) You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

36.) I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet

37.) I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

38.) I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have

39.) Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

40.) Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.

41.) So, you're a cannibal.

42.) Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing.

43.) AV is Addicted to Vampires

44.) There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.

45.) 'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!

46.) I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.

47.) Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock!

48.) I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow

49.) Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again

50.) To put it nicely, I hope you choke

51.) It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn

52.) I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

53.) If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.

54.) The evil gnomes poked me in the bum wit a stick.

55.) Would you like a cookie? So would I.

56.) You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

57.) Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck.

58.) A day without sunshine is like... night.

59.) A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water!

60.) Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot

61.) Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!!

62.) Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.

63.) I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!

64.) I do what cheerios tell me.

65.) I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'.

66.) I'm hearing voices in my head and they don't like you! (haha just like Edward Cullen!! )

67.) I'm knocking on heavens door.. voice in back round: Knocking? You very nearly broke the bloody thing down!! me: That wasnt my fault!! It was poor constrution... I SWEAR!! Dont look at me like that...

68.) If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth.

69.) My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet...

70.) Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.

71.) Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, But Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous.

72.) Okay...so there's this thing called retarded-ness and me and my freinds, well...We've gone pro.


Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL,

Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART,

Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG,

Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY,

Calling me POOR won't make you RICH,

Calling me FAT wont make you SKINNY,

Calling me UNCOOL wont make you COOL,

So why bother?

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top

Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2.Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, or yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Are you done?

If so scroll down

(don't cheat- -)

THE ANSWERS

1. You are completly in love with this person

2. If you choose

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservitive and agressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and and love kisses and affection from the ones you love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

3. If your initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is is soon to blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relashonship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experiance a major life changing experiance for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soulmate.

5. If you choose...

Black: Your life will take on in a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides with you and would do anything for you, but may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you will have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose

California: You like adventure.

Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...

Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come before your next birthday

You know your obsessed when you carry a stake and look for pale people with red ringed eyes...

Warning scary story below

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her while she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

If You Only Knew by CynicalRomantic09 reviews
Harry's life is anything but normal. Six years after the defeat of Voldemort, he's living in New York with no intentions of going home. But sometimes, life can throw you unexpected curveballs. And Harry's life does just that. Harry/Hermione.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 102,128 - Reviews: 322 - Favs: 305 - Follows: 524 - Updated: 1/18/2012 - Published: 2/4/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Missing by ladierock reviews
Everything after Jesse and his friend never happened except for the attack. Rose is missing,Lissa's worried, and no one believes her. She's getting the feeling something terrible happened. The story is better than the summary i hope. L/R/DPOV. DIsclaimer.
Vampire Academy - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 20,292 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 6/23/2011 - Published: 1/6/2010 - Rose H., Dimitri B. - Complete
The Strigoi Baby by x-shadow-x-kisses-x reviews
Rose has returned from hunting down Dimitri and is pregnant with his strigoi baby. As Rose falls for Adrian and begins to grow more unstable, what will happen when Dimitri returns to make Rose a strigoi, but finds out about the child she hid from him?
Vampire Academy - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 17 - Words: 16,411 - Reviews: 244 - Favs: 166 - Follows: 166 - Updated: 5/21/2011 - Published: 10/5/2009 - Rose H.
Burning Desire by Annika Taylor reviews
While dealing with some internal turmoil, Rose Hathaway is pulled from the safety of the Academy & her "family" to live with her Grandmother in Glasgow, now she has to look within herself to find her way back to the life she wants and needs.
Vampire Academy - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 37 - Words: 39,025 - Reviews: 246 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 4/29/2011 - Published: 12/30/2009 - Rose H., Christian O.
All's Fair in Love and Revenge by chelle131623 reviews
It is the week before school lets out and the senior novices decide it is time to declare war on their soon to be former teachers. Funny and hot! Rated M just in case. First FanFic, hope you like. Please read and review
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 15,118 - Reviews: 282 - Favs: 260 - Follows: 203 - Updated: 1/4/2011 - Published: 1/15/2010 - Rose H., Dimitri B.
Life and Death by Kaiai reviews
This is my sequel to Promise Mark. So read that before this. It covers Rose's path towards the final moments between life and death. The battle, the drama, and everything in between.
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 51 - Words: 69,338 - Reviews: 588 - Favs: 200 - Follows: 144 - Updated: 1/2/2011 - Published: 6/26/2009 - Complete
Appreciate What You Have by You-Know-Why97 reviews
The attack the school never happened. Dimitri dumps Rose after he sleeps with her and she decides to try to get him jealous. Dimitri is a bit OC.
Vampire Academy - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 14,933 - Reviews: 191 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 136 - Updated: 12/28/2010 - Published: 12/20/2009 - Rose H., Dimitri B. - Complete
Love, No Restrictions by lilmissryry reviews
Rose & Dimitri finally let down all walls seperating their love. But when the school is attacked again, will they be seperated... forever? Will they never get the happy ending they deserve? Before BP, Dimitri was never turned. Thanks for reviewing guys!
Vampire Academy - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 27 - Words: 52,723 - Reviews: 596 - Favs: 332 - Follows: 201 - Updated: 8/19/2010 - Published: 9/28/2009 - Rose H., Dimitri B. - Complete
Promiscuous by S.K.R. Bitches reviews
Rose is just an average human living in Seattle with her many friends.But doesn't mean her life is average. The food critic for Rouge magazines/The Prominent Paramours female lead singer is about to dig her self so deep in lies she just might not get out.
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 17,529 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 7/20/2010 - Published: 12/23/2009 - Rose H.
Young Love by Zmeyette reviews
My second fanfic! Teen Dimitri and teen Rose meets. Full Summary inside. Please READ and REVIEW! NOW COMPLETE!
Vampire Academy - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 25 - Words: 65,543 - Reviews: 314 - Favs: 268 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 3/10/2010 - Published: 1/12/2010 - Rose H., Dimitri B. - Complete
Crashed by CynicalRomantic09 reviews
Dimitri is no longer the hunted--he's the hunter and he's out for blood. And he wants Rose. SK spoilers possible. RoseDimitri.
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 118,548 - Reviews: 331 - Favs: 233 - Follows: 136 - Updated: 2/28/2010 - Published: 3/1/2009 - Dimitri B., Rose H. - Complete
Rite of Blood by EbonyShroud reviews
When strange incidences occur when people venture into an old pie shop, a priest is called in to investigate. However, the priest soon learns that the hungry spirit lurking in the shop still lusts for revenge against the world and its inhabitants.
Sweeney Todd - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Horror - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,319 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 2/28/2010 - Published: 1/2/2010 - Sweeney T. - Complete
Left behind by theywerejustthere reviews
Dimitri and Rose find a little girl named Emily Anders whose mom was killed by Strigoi. What will happen to Emily when left all alone? Takes place after Shadow Kissed if Dimitri never went Strigoi. Better than it sounds!
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 8,475 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 101 - Updated: 2/24/2010 - Published: 1/23/2009 - Dimitri B., Rose H.
Ways To Annoy The Pirates Of The Caribbean by Sparabella4ever reviews
Ways to annoy the pirates of the caribbean.Crossover.
Crossover - Pirates of the Caribbean & Pirates of the Caribbean: Jack Sparrow - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 679 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 1/15/2010 - Published: 12/26/2009
To Commandeer a Boat by macawtopia reviews
"And that is why I need ter commandeer this here dinghy, savvy?" - When Jack needs to make a quick get-away from Port Royal, he tries to convince a gaurd to let him have a spare boat, and naturally, this ends very badly for the poor gaurd… Oneshot
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,143 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/6/2010 - Published: 12/19/2009 - Capt. Jack Sparrow - Complete
When Love & Hate Collide by JaceLover01 reviews
*BLOOD PROMISE SPOILERS* Rose is back at the Academy and ready to get on with her life...but with Dimitri drawing closer every day, tension rises and the clock ticks down. Will she save him before its too late, or will he kill her before she can kill him?
Vampire Academy - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,196 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 12/26/2009 - Published: 8/30/2009 - Rose H., Dimitri B.
When Jack Sparrow Came Down The Chimney by xoBeautifulXDisasterxo reviews
Just some holiday randomness! When Jack, Barbossa, and Gibbs suddenly appear in Christina's house on Christmas morning, all hell breaks loose! And what happens when Davy Jones and Edward Cullen show up? PARODY! One-shot. Merry Christmas!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,216 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 9 - Published: 12/24/2009 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, Hector B. - Complete
Love Forgotten by DelicateSoul reviews
AU: What happens if Rose is the one bitten? How will Dimitri react: will he kill her, or find a way to bring his Roza back? RosexDimitri
Vampire Academy - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 18 - Words: 36,921 - Reviews: 326 - Favs: 239 - Follows: 172 - Updated: 12/22/2009 - Published: 1/16/2009 - Complete
A Debt Repaid by Archaeologistof-theresistance reviews
Set During DMC. A memory from the past causes Jack and Norrington to realize that they have met long before Elizabeth fell from the wall. Rob Kidd's Jack Sparrow books involved. Not Slash. Please read and review.
Crossover - Pirates of the Caribbean & Pirates of the Caribbean: Jack Sparrow - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,410 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/2/2009 - James N. - Complete
I Can't Stop Thinking About You by Damon4eva reviews
When Rose finds out that she is pregnant with Dimitri's baby, she wants an abortion straight away. But what will happen when the Academy find out? And will Rose realise that she can't live without this baby before it's too late? After Shadow Kiss!
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 14,220 - Reviews: 181 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 113 - Updated: 8/7/2009 - Published: 3/29/2009 - Rose H., Dimitri B.
Beetlejuice, Butterflies and Bones by Xx starlight-moon xX reviews
Viola van Dort encounters some difficulty exorcising her baby brother. A loving parody pastiche of all things Tim Burton, featuring appearances from Mrs Lovett and Beetlejuice, and written purely for fun. Reviews would be welcome, but no flames please!
Corpse Bride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,587 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/9/2009 - Complete
THINGS CORPSE BRIDE WOULD NEVER SAY! by alyssialui reviews
i thought what other things could i make off of a great movie. then it hit me... Corpse Bride. hope you like it
Corpse Bride - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 29 - Words: 12,609 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 9/9/2007 - Published: 1/14/2007 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Bloody Love reviews
Basicly my version of Blood Promise, plz R/R And yes MAJOR SPOILERS READ ALL OTHER VA BOOKS FIRST PLEASE!I am sadly giving up on this for a bit, not my Corpse Bride story and I have some new ones in mind... I love yas I will complete this.
Vampire Academy - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 538 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 2/6/2010 - Published: 1/7/2010
Corpse Bride Lord Barkis Bittern POV reviews
Ok so I was thinking why does no one ever celebreat Lord barkis? I mean yeah he's a rude selfish murderous toad but hey he is the reason we have Emily you know please R/R is really god I OWN NOTHING ALL GOES TO Tim Burton
Corpse Bride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 334 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 1/16/2010 - Published: 1/14/2010
Corpse Bride Dear Darling Emily reviews
A poem about Emily and Barkis Please read its pretty good to be honest! I OWN NOTHING IT ALL GOES TO THE GENIUS Tim Burton round of aplase for Tim! *claps* And it's finished! And soon I'll be doing a Alice In Wonderlnd poem thing!
Corpse Bride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 165 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 1/14/2010 - Complete