I have received so many questions (couched in flames, of course) from the people I have reviewed, that I have made this FAQ, so you know which questions to avoid if you should ever be reviewed by me.

Q: What is your problem with my story????

A: I hate bad fanfiction. What I hate more is bad fanfiction that constantly gets good reviews, even if it is from people who wouldn't know a good story if it bit them in the ass.

On the plus side, if I reviewed your fanfic, usually it means that you have some potential, you just need to work on it. A lot.

On the negative side, your story could be so godawful that it would be a crime not to alert the public.

I'll let you know which it is.

Q: Do you have to be so mean???

A: Bad fanfiction tends to have that effect on me. I will give you pointers on how not to suck so much in my review, but that is all. And you should be glad that I make it a point to not curse in my reviews. I have only done it once, but that was because I was personally offended by the author's complete disrespect to her reviewers.

Q: How could you review my story when you don't have any of your own/when all you have is THAT???

A: I have an alternate name I post stories under. I just use this one to review because I hate having my inbox cluttered with flames and death threats.

I receive enough junk as it is.

And the story under this name? That is a private joke on my part. I posted it at a time when incest/rape/bestiality/Yamcha bashing fics were all the rage and I wondered, 'Gee, what sort of scruples do these people HAVE?' And what do you know but that this story had been conveniently sitting in my mailbox. So I modified it and posted it for the world to see and gag at.

I find it all amusing, actually.

EDIT: Due to FFN's recent changes, I removed the story. Oh well, it has been fun.

Q: Will you help me with my story?

A: No, I have no time to comb through your story looking for all of the mistakes. But I can point you to resources that can help you.

Q: Why the name?

A: Because it is an apt description of how people view me when I give a three thumbs down on their fics.

And that, as they say, is that.