Ok, i guess it can`t be helped anymore. I need a beta that is very patient, likes twisted stuff and and is willing to help me out. (i can`t take it anymore, there are so many fics i wanna write and fuck, even if I could write them in romanian, what fun will it be? Like come on, i must write them in english, and without too many spelling errors)

so, if anyone is interested, PM me.

Hy, my name is Oana (you read it like "Wanna") but when i speak to myself I refer at my own persona by Mrs O or just T.

I have a cyclic obsession with Harry Potter that returns every... 3 months or so ( i have a life), and like a tradition, every year i spend something like 2 months reding fanfictions like mad, almost 24 hours a day. And after that i drift from harry potter world back into my own twisted world of vulgar novels.

Ever since i was a little kid in junior high I empathized with all the wrong people (or characters), feeling attraction to the characters that were so evil that no one would dare call them mere bad guys. But monsters. I actually had a crush on Tom Riddle. I used to devour every single word about him, to fantasize about his life, his past, his thoughts. I just loved his sociopathic ways, adored every single destructive gesture of his. And I despised the good ones.

Back then, my frustration was something like : why do all the fairy-tales have happy endings? I want just for once, the evil ones to be the winners.

And even now, after I built a sociopathic personality for myself, I feel the need to go back home, in my comfort zone , the place wherwas something like a groupie. I always wanted to be a serial killer or a saint. But i can`t . I am just Mrs O, Oana, T. , Multi Javra (Multi Tramp). Whatever. I do not have a name that could describe me perfectly, I do not belong to someone. Not even to myself.

But I take the freedom to own that little part of my comfort zone, the part that keeps me alive, sober and grounded.

” I was so small
wanted to grow in the eyes of my enemies
for awhile i felt tall
but they knocked me back down now i’m here on my knees

you don’t have to end up with people who self destruct
go find a lover who will never leave
fear of abandonment, self hate, and discontent
will go away when you let yourself grieve
and forget about me, forget about me, forget about me”

In real life i`m a bad ass renaisance-looking girl and I live in Romania. Transilvania, to be more precise :)). Nope, it`s not a joke.

I`m some sort of a nerd with huge and bushy hair (sonds familiar, right?), I write novels and short stories and I wallow in sorrow from time to time afraid that i`ll die all by myself. Sometimes i`m too social and excited and other times i`m more shut and dark than our beloved Tom.

People have told me that i maight be bypolar and psihotic but my excuse is that i live life in my head. Form time to time. Like daily.

Oh, yeah, since i`m from Romania, my english isn`t that good, so i do not dare to write stuff in english. Or at least not more than i need to.

Even if my blog is like... 96% in romanian, i`ll put a link here, and also my last fm profile.

I like:

Earth tones

Grey`s (coulour)

antagonist characters and good, sweet guys for my pedo-personality

watching documetarties about serial killers

youger boys that seem innocent and they aren`t

the scent of oil colours after you`ve painted with your fingers

green and blue

books and books nd lots of thick books.

my tube of golden acrylic

stone/ marble angels and gargoyles

luaghing my ass out at pictures of nazy ministers

I hate:

"and all the thick books that you`ve read will count for nothing in the end"

girly-girls

not having a dick ( that mean i`d like to be more bad ass, not "i`d like to be a dude")

people who complain about my lack of emotions

house chores

notebooks with horizontal lining

sticky fingers

bad hair days (that means straight hair days :)) )

painting a boy who looks like a girl

barbies, hot dogs, pizza, capitalism, Bucharest, "God Bless America", stuff like that

The L word (i just don`t belive in it)

Things I always say:

" I`m bored" - "ma plictisesc"

"Boring" - "plictisitor"

" yeah, right, I don`t care" - " da, bine, nu-mi pasa"

"I`m not in the mood Today" - "n-am chef azi"

" all the thick books that you`ve read will count for nothing in the end"

"I don`t care much"

"Skipp the love thingy if you wanna talk to me again" - "lasa-ma cu iubirea daca vrei sa mai ai ce vorbi cu mine"

"the fuck"

"like seriously"

"like dunno"