Uhhh... hello... I don't know what to say on my profile... so I'll just put my unsure thoughts here and what I like from other user profiles ;D

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

MENtal anxiety, MENtal breakdown, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... Did you ever notice how all of out problems begin with MEN?

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we fucked up … but that shit was fun!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Won't tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when you're not down anymore.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Try to half-ass comfort you when you feel down.
REAL FRIENDS: Grab you by the shoulders, shake you, and say "Bitch, snap out of it!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Always keep your stuff they borrowed in perfect condition.
REAL FRIENDS: Lose your shit and tell you, "My bad ... here's a tissue."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink because they think it's polite.
REAL FRIENDS: Raise an eyebrow and say "Bitch, I'll eat what I want" and are the reason you never have food.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a very embarrassing book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Ask if you're alright.
REAL FRIENDS: Run away screaming: "GET OUT OF THE WAY! SHE'S PISSED!!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Ask you what you number is.
REAL FRIENDS: Remind you what you number is when you forget.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have to be reminded not to tell.
REAL FRIENDS: Would willingly go skinny-dipping in a tank of acid before they even consider telling.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will offer to pay when you have a drink.
REAL FRIENDS: Will laugh and say "Pay my ass! You'll pay for mine, bitch!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk.
REAL FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk alone.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will apologize when you forget lunch money and say that they don't have any left.
REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Sucks for you" and finally cave after a few hours and then say "You owe me for this, you fatass."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will smile and say "Don't worry about me" when they forget their lunch money, even if you didn't offer to pay.
REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Bitch, I'm a fatass and I'm starving, now buy me some damn food."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will automatically tell you you're beautiful when you ask if something makes you look fat.
REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Well no shit, sherlock."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would tell you not to get a face-lift because you already look perfect.
REAL FRIENDS: Would say "Face-lift? I don't think a fork-lift would help."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Tell you your zits aren't noticeable.
REAL FRIENDS: Say "Damn, girl! That thing is HUGE!!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh with you.
REAL FRIENDS: Laugh at you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh at all your jokes.
REAL FRIENDS: Tell you your jokes suck.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Congratulate you when you get good grades.
REAL FRIENDS: Say "Jeez, you nerd. If you were in stupid classes like me, we'd see each other more."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Encourage you not to skip school.
REAL FRIENDS: Photoshop one of their old doctor's notes and use it to spring you from school.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what's wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will glare at the guy who dumps you and say "Forget him. You're too good for him."
REAL FRIENDS: Kick the guy's ass and threaten to castrate him with a spork if he comes within five miles of you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Crush on your older brother whom you absolutely despise.
REAL FRIENDS: Hate you older brother as much as you do and give him the nick-name "Faggot".

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it.

I had to copy this when I saw it...

Honorary Member of The Book of Log.

If you worship the holyness that is the log, copy and paste this section onto your profile... although you may want to change the comments

Position: Log Worshipper (Since 12/24/2010)

Possible Book of Log Positons:

Log Worshipper: Beginning position. No requirements

Log Priest: You have created at least 1 Naruto related fanfic that frequently (every 2-4 chapers) praises the almighty log and actually fits into the story

Log Pope (there can be more than 1 pope... its safer that way): you have created 3 naruto related fanfics that frequently praise the almighty log

OR the Fanfic that already occasionally praises the log has at least 400 reviews

OR you create a (decently made) Naruto fanfic focused on praising the log... log forbid.

Excerpt of the log number 124: when using the log to escape a fire jutsu, it is konoha custom to write an apology letter to the log, and depending on rank of jutsu escaped from depicts how many words are needed. c-rank, two thousand, B-rank, one thousand five hundred, a-rank, one thousand. only S-rank and higher or excused from the writing of the letter. even then, it is still reccommended.

Log excerpt number 231: if konoha shinobi celebrate the holiday of Christmas, then it is required that they put gifts under the Christmas log. Use of a full tree is an insult to the log and if found out that shinobi is uneligible from using the log for a period of two months.

Log excerpt number 437: Use of the log in a situation that clearly could be avoided using a variety of other methods or techniques is looked down upon. In order to repent for such actions, the following steps should be taken:

For every dent caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling.

For every stab wound caused by your replacement you shall plant five
saplings.

For every hole in the log caused by your replacement you shall plant ten
saplings.

For every detached piece of the log caused by your replacement you shall
plant one sapling per square inch of detached log.

For a destroyed and unusable log caused by your replacement you shall plant
twenty-five saplings.

If your log is defective you may call 1-800-BAD-LOGS to file a complaint. If
your case is proven correctly your next replacement will be half off.

'and the willow sayeth unto the ninja: wherefore dost i weep? 'tis tears of joy, as thy kin and mine together fell thine foes, who would bring the axe and torch to the wood. the log ist thine ally, and mine kin. calling upon the log, is to call upon me. to aid thee in battle, i weep my tear of joy.
and the ninja spoke: yea, thee and thine kin shall forever be blessed among me and mine kin. for thine bravery will never be forgotten.'
-book of the log, song of the willow, verses 1-4

'as the log takes your place, you become the log. the log becomes you. for a moment, you are an extension of the logs blessing unto ninja.'
-book of the log, chronicle of the replacement verse 3

'you are fools! your log is but a mockery of the power of ninja!- the ninja from the desert declared. and the people shook their heads.
you have been denied the log for a long time, sandwalker. we cannot force you to see the glory of the log, but know this. when the time comes, and you have no other allies to call upon, the log will hear your prayers, and aid you.'
-book of the log, redwood journals verses 15-16

'and as the smoke cleared, his foe stared in awe at the log. blackened and charred, the log crumbled. the ninja, filled with righteous wrath, fell upon his foe and slew him. he made his way to the log, and wept. his companion, the log that had accompanied him through so many battles, was no more. he spoke thus to his fallen companion: though now you have fallen in battle, you rest where the logs forever grow. the forest of life called for you, and you answered its call, as you did mine. i thank you my friend.'
-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle I, verses 78-82

'he despaired, for in this place of stone and earth, there was no logs to be found. reaching out with all his might, he begged for a log in the forsaken wasteland. and he was answered, and saved by the log, in a place where there were none.
-book of the log, wanderers saga, verses 7-9

'the log took his place and fell, forever into the abyss. the people, hearing of this, railed against him, in such numbers he swore to never endanger another log again. for many years, he fought without the log, growing more and more weary with each passing day. finally, he came across a foe that was too strong for him. as his life was about to end, he felt a familiar pull, and found himself out of harms way, seeing a log in his place. his stunned foe was felled in his stupor, and he approached the log, he knew it, for it was the same that fell so long ago. he asked of the log: why did you endanger yourself for me again? have you not done enough for me? and the log spoke: it is my duty, and our bond. we exist to save the ninja, and they exist to save the trees. we both play a part, for which i am content.'
-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle II, verses 59-70

Let it be known that it is absolutely forbidden to willingly perform the technique known as "1000 years of death" on a log. It is also equally frowned upon for one to replace oneself with a holy log for the purpose of avoiding said technique. The punishment for such actions is at least 6 months of banishment from the use of the holy log.

English is so very complicated... :O

The English Lesson
We'll begin with box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.
Then one fowl is goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a whole lot of mice,
But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be pen?

The cow in the plural may be cows or kine,
But the plural of vow is vows, not vine.
And I speak of a foot, and you show me your feet,
But I give a boot... would a pair be beet?

If one is a tooth, and a whole set is teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be beeth?
If the singular is this, and the plural is these,
Why shouldn't the plural of kiss be kese?

Then one may be that, and three be those,
Yet the plural of hat would never be hose.
We speak of a brother, and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.

The masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis, and shim.
So our English, I think you will agree,
Is the trickiest language you ever did see.