Hi, I'm CoolKat Avalon. If your reading this then I need to let you in on a little secret, you must be pretty sad. Who wants to know the authors favourite colour (green). Well onward and upward.

For those really determined to know the hidden me you must work it out from riddles. My name is Irish (That's all you're getting). Born in the year of the Dragon (Chinese Zodiac), I am a Ram that has far to go and the colour of the month is a lovely pale blue (Be thankful I wasn't as sparse on the details as with my name).

Anybody still reading has my admiration. Likes and Dislikes. I love stories with male pairings especially Mpregs. My favourite pairings are Harry and Draco or Harry and Severus. However this doesn't mean I will refuse to read something if those pairings are not present. I've read a lot of different pairings in my time as a FanFictioner but those have to be my favourite. I really like the fact that no matter what happens or who else turns their back on Harry the two people who never have in any of the stories I've read are Gred and Forge. Every other member of the Weasley family has done it in this or that story but not them (Please, I'm begging you, don't tell me you know any).

Dislikes (or HATES) includes people who start a story but never finish them or worse still, start writing a completely different story, then leave that half finished. Names will not be mentioned but those of you reading this who do that, you know who you are. I can understand the problems some people have with some stories, for instance before they can get the next part down a new story pops up in their heads. I personally have large problems in that area. I have over 14 stories "In Progress" as I type this. That's why it takes me so long to get a story posted (I insist on finishing the story first). Other dislikes include spiders so I agree with Harry in the third Movie ‘You tell those spiders, Ron'.

Sorry. I'm a little eccentric, (did ya guess?). Right, well I live in England, visit Ireland whenever I can and have an e-pal in Germany that I meet through Fan Fic (Hi). Blonde (Not a bimbo), blue eyed (still not a bimbo), flat chested (Ha!. Oops. I don't think I was supposed to type that.) Any way, average height. Reviews are always appreciated and flamers are welcome. Cause really I could do with a good laugh.

Well I think that's as much as most people can take of me (and probably more). I will love ya and leave ya.

Sayonara

CoolKat

We interrupt this profile for an important message to one who has passed on. He will be remembered dearly.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

A moment of silence.

ONLY IN AMERICA...

...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance

...are there handicap parking spaces in front of ice-skating rinks

...sick people go to the back of Walgreens to get their medicine, while healthy people get their cigarettes at the front

...people buy hotdogs in packs of 10 and hotdog buns in packs of 8

...the banks leave both vaults open and then chain the pens to the counter

...people order a double cheese burger, large fries, and a diet coke

...people leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveways and keep their junk in garages

...people use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss the calls from someone they don't want to talk to in the first place

...is the word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" mean "blood-sucking creatures.

Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts:

No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class

Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. “Polishing my wand” in the common room is not.

“Liften Separatis Crotchum” is not a real spell.

If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw the Dark Mark on their arm.

I will not call the DADA teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.

I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.

I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.

I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

Professor Flitwick’s first name is not Yoda.

When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil, I
will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can be only ONE!”.Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled “Firewhiskey”.

It is inappropriate to slip sample bottles of Selsun Blue into Professor Snape’s personal postbox.I will not put books of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.

I will not refer to the Accio charm as “The Force”.

Albus Dumbledore’s proper title is “Headmaster”, not “My Liege”.

I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I foresaw her death.

If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.

I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.

I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they are real animals.

I will not tell first years that they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.

I will not tell first years that Moon Prism Power is a basic Transfiguration spell.

I will never ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling.

I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.

I will not sing “We’re off to see the wizard” when sent to the Headmaster’s office.

The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife.

I shall not give Professor Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.

I may not chase Seamus Finnegan around school in search of his ‘Pot o’ Gold’. Nor am I allowed to tell people he’s a leprechaun on steroids.

I may not refer to Sirius Black as ‘Seriously Black’.

I am not allowed to ask First Years if they need help ‘polishing their wand’. No matter how funny their reactions are.

If you've ever pushed on a door marked pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy this into your profile. (FanFiction)

92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Post this in your profile if you believe Homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

If you disagree with Homophobia copy and paste this onto your profile

Here are some other things to keep you entertained.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

You know you live in 2008 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

I get plenty of exercise: jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.

Like Daddy always said: If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit!

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Don't play stupid with me...I'm better at it.

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning 'to rip out a mans genitals through his wallet'. - Robin Williams

I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I'm on my last one.

Everyone has the right to be stupid. Some people just abuse the privilege

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall out of a window...I laugh.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. - Winston Churchill.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match it for me at kick boxing.

I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.

The most dangerous enemy is that which no one fears

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something

When someone tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.

If you can't beat them, join them. If you can't join them, bribe them. If you can't bribe them, blackmail them.

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.

Admit nothing, deny everything, demand proof - then blame a Private.

The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion English

has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.

If at first you don't succeed - cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!

Consciousness - that annoying time between naps.

Smile - it confuses people.

I reject your reality and substitute my own.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up."

A friend trys to help you when you get hurt, a true friends sits there laughing their ass off saying, 'Dude, you're an idiot!'

A friend will bail you out of jail, a true friend will be there next to you saying "damn that was fun!"

A friend will tell you when your wrong, a true friend will wait for you to screw up so they can laugh in your face.

A friend will encourage your choices in life, a true friend will write them down for black mail.

A friend will help you study for a test, a true friend will help you procrastinate studying for a test.

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. - Oscar Wilde

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory.

Incoming fire has the right of way. - War Laws

I don't fight with idiots; they bring me to their level then beat me with experience.

I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.

A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station... "

DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE! If you too are against drunk driving, add this to your profile and add your name to the bottom.

I went to a birthday party,

And remembered what you said.

You told me not to drink at all,

So I had a Sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,

The way you said I would,

That I didn't choose to drink and drive,

Though some friends said I should.

I knew I made a healthy choice and,

Your advice to me was right,

As the party finally ended,

And the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my own car,

Sure to get home in one piece,

Never knowing what was coming,

Something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement,

And I hear the policeman say,

"The kid that caused this wreck was drunk."

His voice seems far away.

My own blood is all around me,

As I try hard not to cry.

I can hear the paramedic say,

"This girl is going to die."

I'm sure the guy had no idea,

While he was flying high,

Because he chose to drink and drive,

That I would have to die.

So why do people do it,

Knowing that it ruins lives?

But now the pain is cutting me,

Like a hundred stabbing knives

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom

Tell daddy to be brave,

And when I go to heaven,

Put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.

Someone should have taught him,

That it's wrong to drink and drive.

Maybe if his mom and dad had,

I'd still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter,

I'm getting really scared.

These are my final moments,

And I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mom,

As I lie here and die.

wish that I could say,

I love you and good-bye.

NoOnesGal1848, Sakura-Cherry-Blossom-Chan, AkatsukiDreamer, DeiDei-kunsgirl, Gaaraslilgrl, Maximum Ridegirl, Sasuke'sGirl567, i like pie123,UchihaVamprincess0110, moonlesslife, UchihaSakuraROX, Cherryblossom-has-bloomed777, randomhottiexoxo, Prinzzez-kitten, AurouraandRosalieWannabe, volley07, Coolkat Avalon

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage. As you said, "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman." I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18.22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

However, I do need some advice from you regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how best to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25.44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not to Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21.7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness (Leviticus15.19-24). The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord. (Leviticus 1.9) The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35.2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Leviticus11.10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there degrees of abomination?

7. Leviticus.21.20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Leviticus19.27. How should they die?

9. I know from Leviticus 11.6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean. May I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Leviticus 19.19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Leviticus 24.10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, as we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Leviticus 20.14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Yours truly,
An Inquiring Supporter

P.S. I look forward to your answers because there are a number of other issues that I'd like to get settled as soon as you've enlightened me on these ... Thanks again

Homophobia…?

1)Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

Things to do in an elevator

Act like a dog, growl at people.
Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. Press the wrong ones.
Ask, “did you hear that cable snapping sound?”
Bring a chair along.
Bring easy math flash cards on the elevator and ask the person next to you to help you study them (get them wrong).
Call out, “Group hug!” and enforce it.
Call the psychic hotline from you cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you’re on.
Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
Challenge people to games of hide-and-seek.
Clutch your stomach and gasp.
Collect an elevator tax.
Count down from 100,000 out loud.
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: “Got enough air in there?”
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your “personal space.”
Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
Give each passenger a round of applause as they enter or leave.
Give each passenger a ticket and remind them that door prize drawing is in half an hour.
Give people lectures about the periodic table of elements.
Give religious tracts to each passenger.
Go into extreme detail explaining how you were trapped in an elevator once for two days.
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
Guard the button panel so no one can touch it. Growl and bite at anyone’s fingers who attempt to cross you.
Have a picnic in the elevator.
Have a seizure.
Hold the elevator door open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, “Hi John, how’s your day been?”
Hum the theme to Jeopardy
If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, "Bad touch!"
Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they want to play.
Lean over to another passenger and whisper: “Noogie patrol coming!”
Leave a box between the doors.
Leave a box in a corner, and when someone gets on, ask if they hear something ticking.
Lick gummy bears and stick them to things (the walls, the buttons, the passengers, etc.)
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Make sure the emergency phone is working.
Meow occasionally.
Move your desk in to the elevator, and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
Mumble autistically about the possibilities of elevator accidents.
Offer hitman services.
Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go “plink” at the bottom.
Open a lemonade stand.
Perform the Hamlet soliloquy. When a new passenger enters, start over again.
Pick your nose.
Place police tape (CRIME SCENE DO NOT CROSS) on the inside of the doors.
Play dead.
Play patty--cake with the door.
Pretend you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers
Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
Say "Ding!" at each floor.
Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
Say, while holding a paper with OUT OF ORDER written on it, “I wonder why this was glued on the door when I came in.”
Sing “Mary had a little lamb” while continually pushing buttons.
Sing: "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerve's, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, i know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and it goes like this!" to the tune of "camp town lady"...pause...repeat...continually.
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce “You’re one of THEM!” and move to the far corner of the elevator.
Tell everyone about your love life.
Tell people you can see their aura.
Tell the passengers not to worry. The bomb won't go off for at least another two minutes.
Try to purchase an article of clothing from the person next to you.
Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
Wear a Santa suit...in June.
Wear a ski mask and carry an axe.
When the elevator doors close, bang on them, screaming let me out!
When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: “Oh, not now... motion sickness!”
When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
When the elevator reaches another passenger’s floor, scream and collapse in front of the door.
When there’s only one other person on the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn’t you.
While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, “hide it...quick!” then whistle innocently.
Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.