Favorite
Flower - Blue Calla Lily
Hobby - Reading
Color - Blue and Green
Food - Spaghetti
Candy - Hershey's Bar
Snack - PB & Strawberry J Sandwiches
Book Series - Harry Potter
TV Series - Leverage
Movie - King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
Animal - Hamster

The Spider and the Fly

Will you walk into my parlour?” said the Spider to the Fly, "Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy; The way into my parlour is up a winding stair, And I've a many curious things to shew when you are there.”

"Oh no, no,” said the little Fly, “to ask me is in vain, For who goes up your winding stair - can ne'er come down again."

“Sweet creature!” said the Spider, “you're witty and you're wise, How handsome are your gauzy wings, how brilliant are your eyes! I've a little looking-glass upon my parlour shelf, If you'll step in one moment, dear, you shall behold yourself.”

“I thank you, gentle sir,” she said, “for what you 're pleased to say, And bidding you good morning now, I'll call another day.”

The Spider turned him round about, and went into his den, For well he knew the silly Fly would soon come back again. So he wove a subtle web, in a little corner sly, And set his table ready, to dine upon the Fly. Then he came out to his door again, and merrily did sing, “Come hither, hither, pretty Fly, with the pearl and silver wing; Your robes are green and purple — there's a crest upon your head; Your eyes are like the diamond bright, but mine are dull as lead!”

Alas, alas! how very soon this silly little Fly, Hearing his wily, flattering words, came slowly flitting by; With buzzing wings she hung aloft, then near and nearer drew, Thinking only of her brilliant eyes, and green and purple hue — Thinking only of her crested head — poor foolish thing! At last, Up jumped the cunning Spider, and fiercely held her fast. He dragged her up his winding stair, into his dismal den, Within his little parlour — but she ne'er came out again!

And now dear little children, who may this story read, To idle, silly flattering words, I pray you ne'er give heed: Unto an evil counsel, close heart and ear and eye, And take a lesson from this tale, of the Spider and the Fly.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all

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was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father.

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

When you and someone else sit across from each other, and look at the other person's face, do you see you? Do you see someone with the exact same face and ideals? The exact same hopes and dreams? The same family ties and past? No. You see a unique person with different abilities and hobbies, secrets and wishes. Someone with a different face and heart. You see someone else. When you look in the mirror, you see you. The same wonderful person you have known your whole life, who shouldn't ridicule or look down on you, or value others opinions over your own judgment and ideals. That person is you, and no one can make you be otherwise.

Because I can honestly say,

It's great to be different.

One sunny day,
In the middle of the night,
Two dead boys began to fight,
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other,
the deaf policeman heard the noise,
came and shot the two dead boys,
If you don't believe this lie is true,
Ask the blind man he saw it too.

Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair. Made of steel.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that it's weird.

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

To ensure perfect aim, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target

Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

My day is not complete till I have terrified a complete stranger

If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?