CyberWolf1999
 Just before i get started if you don't like transormers you probably won't like me (cause i love transformers!!!!!!) On a more lighter note i am new to this site so i am still getting used to it so just give me some time. I already have story idea's that i can write so i will be starting them soon. Random facts about me I am a Girl (well i hope i am ;) I Love Love Love Transformers ( and anything transformers related) The music i listen to is what most people call Emo or screamo I LOVE PIZZA!!!!! ( omg pizza) I Have No social life (And i thought i was popular :( LOL joke i ain't popular) I AM FROM ENGLAND. Don't piss me of or i will go all english on you... I will right a formaly worded letter of complaint to you're manager. ( My crazy friend bree when another of our friends was annoying her). If you have ever stared at a computer screen for hours and hours reading stories that people who have no lives whats so ever and have enough obsession with something to write a story about it and you are one of those people, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan,Cloud Envy, A rose in the sand,Paligirl101, Linda Chicana, CyberWolf1999 Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS. To put it nicely, I hope you choke. If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do... If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. IM A SMIDIOT (smart-idiot) AND PROUD OF IT! If you are a smidiot paste this on your profile. If you ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you talk to yourself, copy this on to your profile If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. If you have ever pushed a door that says pull, copy this to your profile ( all the time) If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this to your profile (I don't know whaat i would do with my life if i didn't have faan-fiction) 95 percent of kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're one of the 5 that don't, copy this to your profile (screw popular) Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you are part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile. (rock'n'roll ftw) If you or your best friend is insane copy this into your profile.( both of us) Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five Y ou went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile Now For Some Transformers Related Stuff I LOVE the autobots but i think the decepticons are way cooler ALL HAIL MEGATRON lol My Favourite D-cons Starsream ( what can i say i think he's cute) Soundwave (I love the way he speakes SOUNDWAVE: ACKNOWLEDGES) The Casseticons ( yeah i'm not even gonna bother explaining this) MEGATRON (This should be obvious...HE IS EPIC) Bold = Yes Normal = No YOUR GIRL SIDE: You wear lip gloss/stick. Total = 3 YOUR GUY SIDE: You love hoodies. You love jeans. Gory movies are cool Total =25 ( i'm kinda scared) PREP
You own an iPod/MP3 player. You love Starbucks. Total: 3 GOTHIC Black is one of your favorite colors. You have thought about death. Total: 9 PUNK You can skateboard (yh) You’ve worn plaid. Total: GEEK You love the computer. You like Harry Potter. Total: 6 ATHLETIC You watch/watched the Super bowl. You are going/did go to a sports summer camp. Total: 2 HARDCORE//SCENE You like loud music. You love/loved the Ninja Turtles. Total =10 NAMES YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE KNOWN 1. SKIPED 2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Jenizzle 3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): Black Wolf 4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): Louise Henley or Kate Henley i have two middle names 5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Hamjedol 6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink) Red Fanta 7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maidenname, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Emaombn 8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name, dad's middle name (boy: Dad's first, girl: Mom's first)): Ann James 9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets): blackDemon 10. YOUR HIPPIE NAME: (type your name with your elbow): Jremnmaws If you have a severe case of OOIZD (Overly Obsessive Invader Zim Disorder) copy & paste this onto your profile. If you say IZ pairings like they appear instead of saying the letters (Saying "ZADR" as "Zadder" or "GAMR" as "Gammer") copy & paste this onto your profile. I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and says "I'm sorry!" How do you know... If you're an Invader Zim Fan: - When you ask to use the restroom, you stand up on your chair and shout "I have a MIGHTY NEED to use the restroom!" - When you come back from the restroom, you slam open the door and shout "MY BUSINESS IS DONE!!" - You've put about 1,000 searches under google through the exact same keywords, "Invader Zim" - You've read and edited every Wikipedia page about Invader Zim - Your homepage is badbadrubberpiggy.com - Your dog's name is Gir - You bought your dog a rubber pig and moose - You died your dog green, put a zipper on him, and attached a voice box that said stuff like "TACOS!" - You have blueprints of taking over the world hung up on your wall - You can answer this question on the spot: "In the episode Dib's Wonderful Life of Doom, what time is lunch?" - You have a pig with money - You know the Room With a Moose verse of Boom Chicka Boom - You have Gir underwear The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism I hate pop-ups. If you hate all the ads popping up while you're trying to read some story, copy this into your profile If you can't stand preppy people who talk like this: "I like, can't believe, I like, chipped my manicure!!", copy and paste this into your profile. If you admit to have fallen for a videogame or cartoon character, copy this into your profile. If you actually take the time to read other people's profiles, put this in yours If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add the name(s) of the characters you have crushed/are crushing on: (invader zim. Zim and gir) (transformers Jolt Prowl Jazz Megatron (i don't know either i just do) starscream soundwave, do i have to go on. Copy this onto your profile if you enjoy copying things onto your profile, just for the hell of it. If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! DO IT!! (twitch, twitch) If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. (hehe)Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile. If you don't watch Laguna Beach, The O.C. or The Hills, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you can spout a random character quote on command, copy and paste this into your profile. 7 Ways to Scare the Shit out of Your Roommates 7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate with a sadisitic look and mutter, "Soon...soon..." 6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil. 5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks. 4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan. 3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you’re hungry. 2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?" 1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer." I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.' Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' 'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.' A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message, or If you take the term "Weird" as a complement, copy and paste this onto your profile Quotes: A loud crash followed by, "I'M OKAY!" "Whatity-what-what?" "I'm a teenager, not stupid." (no longer applicable, but still funny) "okay, I'm completely lost." "Did I miss something?" "This is my personal space bubble. Nobody enters the bubble, and... Hey, what are you doing? Get away! The bubble, you're popping the bubble!" All time favorite! "Nemo est vere malus, se posset amare."(latin) Translation: "No one is truly evil, if he is able to fall in love." I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile Things You Do NOT Wanna Hear On An Airplane Intercom: 1. This is your captain speaking and I don't feel that life is worth living anymore 2. We're cruising at an altitude of... Ah hell I don't know 3. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button does? 4. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Just kidding. 5. Would the fight attendant bring me a martini? And keep 'em comin' 6. This is... uh... This is... uh... your... Hmm, I seem to have lost my memory... 7. Passengers on the left side of the plane -- does that engine sound funny to you? 8. Good God Steve! We’re going to crash! Oops -- is this intercom on? 9. We'll be on the ground in ten minutes. One way or another... 10. This is your captain speaking: I'm depressed, suicidal, and I'm taking you all with me. By the way, I've already killed the co-captain. YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF... You talk to yourself a lot. You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs..." You live off of sugar and caffeine. People think you're insane. You'll check your e-mail every day of the week one week, and then disappear off the face of the earth the next. Your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it. No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome. People think you have A.D.D. You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D. You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. You start thinking about making lists like this and start laughing for no "apparent" reason Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago. And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. (copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions) I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it. The boy woke up, just 14 years old. Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!! If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. If you have a lot of fanfic ideas in your head but are unable to bring yourself to write them, copy and paste this in your profile. The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile. If you think that stories that make fun of stereotypical fanfic ideas are funny, copy this and paste it in your profile. If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile. 98 percent of the teenage population drinks or has been around alcohol. Put this in your profile if you like bagels if you love God and you're not ashamed of him, repost this and see what he does for you tonight... (What's there to be ashamed about?) If you want Invader Zim to come back, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're thankful for spell check, copy and paste this into your profile. If you LOVE tormenting your favorite character(s) in your stories, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever really wanted to give a certain cartoon character a hug, copy and paste this on your profile. If you are obsessed with Invader Zim, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile. If you shiver at the thought of cigarettes, cigars, alcohol, pot, drugs, or anything like that, copy and paste this into your profile. If you can change from stupid to serious in a matter of seconds, copy and paste this into your profile. Do you like waffles? Do you like pancakes? Do you like french toast? If you can't wait to get a mouthful, copy and paste this in your profile. If random people scare you, DON'T copy and paste this in your profile. If you ARE a random person but you still scare yourself sometimes, then you CAN copy and paste this in your profile. If this doesn't make any sense to you, copy and paste this in your profile and see an eye doctor. If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy this into your profile If you have ever gotten a song stuck in your head that you only know a few words to, and then gotten so fed up that you looked the lyrics up online just so that you could have something else stuck in your head, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile. If you realize that copying and pasting stuff into one's profile is completely pointless, yet do it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile. If you already have a gajillion of these "copy this into your profile" things, copy this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you hope to write a bestseller someday, copy this into your profile If you can't stop putting these things on your profile,copy and paste this to your profile! If you know it's only a matter of time were invaded by Irkens, paste this into your profile. If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile! I hate pop-ups. If you hate all the ads popping up while you're trying to read some story, copy this into your profile. If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile l?? Yaaay Kitty!! This is Kitty. Please copy and paste Kitty into your 24 WAYS TO ANNOY PARENTS, SIBLINGS OR FRIENDS: follow them around the house everywhere. 1) I NEED TO TELL YOU A SECRET (LO0K AT #5) 15) YOU MUST BE REALLY TICKED OFF (LOOK AT #9) List twelve of your favorite characters from your fandom, in no particular order. 1. Jolt 2. Mirage 3.Megatron 4. starscream 5. ironhide 6 Ratchet 7. soundwave 8. barricade 9. thundercracker 10.sunstreaker 11. chromia 12. sideswipe 1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to? Ratchet/Chromia no way and no i don't want to (shudder) 2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot? Starscream = HOT As in i would marry him hot 3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? Sideswipe getting barricade pregnant yeah not gonna happen 4.Can you recall any fics about Nine? you expect me to remember. 5. Would Two and Six make a good couple? Mirage and rachet uhhhh i don't think so 6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why? Ironhide/Thundercracker or Ironhide/sunstreaker. Ironhide/Sunstreaker since it's the mst likely option. 7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve making out? Soundwave walks in on Mirage and Sideswipe Making out Soundwave: 'blinks' then records for future blackmail then walks of. 8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic. Megatron/Sunstreaker Megatron finds Sunstreaker having some alone time away from base. He then kidnaps The autobot and takes him to the decepticon base.Will Sunstreaker survive? you'll have to read to find out (that sounds like good idea for a story actually *gets thinking cap on*) 9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff? i don't think so 10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic. Soundwave annd Sunstreaker Quiet Words I dunno 11. Does anyone on your friends list read Three yet? Megatron :) I don't think so 12. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven? Chromia Probably not! ;p 13. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five? Mirage/Starscream/Ironhide yh thts gonna happen when galloway gets on with the autobots 14. If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose? Barricade uhhhh i don't knw BAD TO THE BONE? if you have any idea's tell me 15. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be? Jolt/Ratchet/Sunstreaker Warning: Very weird.and funny 16. When was the last time you read a fic about Five? Ironhide yesterday 17. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (7). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (6), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (2). Jolt and Soundwave are in a happy relationship until Thundercracker runs off with Soundwave.Jolt brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Chromia and a brief unhappy affair with Ratchet then follows the wise advice of Ironhide and finds true love with Mirage. O_O uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i'm not even gonna... 1. [x] I have walked into a glass/screen door. You can only type ONE Word! Not as easy as you might think.Now copy or forward, change the answers to suit you and pass it on.It's really hard to only use one word answers. You can only type one word. Copy this to your profile. 1. Where is your cell phone? Bed 2. Where is your significant other? None. 3. Your hair? Brown 4. Your mother? Cooking 6. Your favorite thing? Writing 7. Your dream last night? Dunno 9. Your dream/goal? Writing! 10. The room you're in? Bedroom 12. Your fear? Spiders 13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? College 14. Where were you last night? Bedroom. 15. What you're not? Straight 16. Muffins? nice 17. One of your wish list items? Transformers 18 . Where you grew up? House 19. The last thing you did? Type 20. What are you wearing? clothes 21. Your TV? off 22. Your pet(s)? everywhere 23. Your computer? desk 24. Your life? Crazy. 25. Your mood? Crazy 26. Missing someone? No 27.. Your car? None. 28.. Something you're not wearing? Glasses 29. Your summer? eventfull 31. Love someone? no 32. Your favorite color? Black 33. When is the last time you laughed? Today. 34. Last time you cried? Yesterday 35. Who will repaste this? someone If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile If you have ever seen a film, TV show, or anything of the like, and can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments, copy this into your profile. If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you frequently have conversations with yourself and/or fictional characters from your favorite books or TV shows, copy and paste this into your profile. 5.5 million people are on the internet right now. Copy this onto your profile if you are one of them. If you have ever pasted anything on your profile, paste this on your profile If you have a profile, paste this on your profile. If you are a girl, paste this on your profile. If you're on the computer, paste this on your profile. if you LOVE tacos copy and paste this to your profile. if you like writing stories on fnfc copy n paste this to your profile if you hate the ZADR thing on iz copy n paste this to ya profile [wich i actually like it] if you like burritos coppy n paste this to ya profile if you hate the suckish hannah montana copy n paste this in ya profile if you loooooooooooooooooooooove 3 doors down copy n paste this to ya profile YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF... You talk to yourself a lot. (Alot meaning all the time...) You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?') When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?') After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...' You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!) You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth. You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it. You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground. No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome. People think you have A.D.D. You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D. You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago. And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. (copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions) If you have ever yelled at the book you were reading because the characters did something stupid post this on your profile If you've ever run into something big and obvious in public, copy and paste this onto your profile. Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile. If Fanfiction is your way of escaping reality and the rest of the boring people in the world and truly "unleashing your imagination" then paste this in your profile If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. (my friends think I am weird 4 this one) If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL, Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART, Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG, Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY, Calling me POOR won't make you RICH, Calling me FAT won’t make you PERFECT, Calling me UNCOOL won’t make you COOL. So why bother? If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile 90 percent of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10 percent that would be laughing (or dont know what the hell MySpace is), copy and paste this to your profile If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile. If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile. If you are really random put this on your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. If you think disclaimers are the most annoying thing ever copy and paste this onto your profile. Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff. Slytherins … will push someone else off. Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase. Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet. Flattery will only get you so far in life. Then there's blackmail... If you've ever seen someone repost something into their profile more than once, copy/paste this into your profile. If you've ever seen someone repost something into their profile more than once, copy/paste this into your profile. Get a life, the rest of us are tired of loaning you ours. Life has a nine month warranty, it's durable, and you can always return it! If you're not insane, are you outsane? Ten things to see before you die 1. A vegetarian be eaten by an animal. 2. An emo kid talk about happy bunnies. 3. Homer say something intelligent. 4. Taxes disappear. 5. Voldemort destroy one of his Horcruxes. 6. Michael Jackson be stalked by children. 7. Children take over class and teach teacher in child subjects, such as: armpit farts, skate-boarding, real music, ect. 8. Wrestling people forget their moves 9. The coyote catch the road runner. 10. The reaction of the teen population if abercombie was closed and it was illegal to wear their clothing If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination, copy and paste here. (Planed it on a map and everything! Problem was, the tanks weren't fast enough!) Stuff Said That Is weird: 1. I say weird stuff, I do weird stff, I am weird stuff. 2. I will not inflate your paper 3. Why am I talking about my inner monkeys at 10:00 PM? 4. You gotta love Youtube. These are the 10 epicest videos I know. 1. anything by mrweebl 2. Caramel dansen 3. IZ DDG's 4. Let's Go Annoy Some Peoople 5. The Badger Song 6. Obama speech "You Lie!!" 7. How It Should Have Ended (all) 8. Warriors Comedy 9. Firestar Doesn't like waffles and spoofs 10.Blade Does The Hyperactive Dance Mommy..Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an author, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you" In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is retard cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cat This is seconds cat Now read the THIRD word of ever line(HAH! Copy this into your profile if you find this funny[LOL it took less than 40 seconds]) Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me Being mature is overrated. Slinky Escalator = Endless fun! One out of four people is insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you. When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide! If you think the Cocoa Puff Turkey Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile. What is another word for "thesaurus"? ERROR: Keyboard not found! Press any key to continue. Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. When someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown about it, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap outta them. People like you are the reason we have middle fingers. Why is Greenland icy, and Iceland green? Wheres theres a will, I want to be in it. When I was a kid we had a quicksand box. I was an only child- eventually. Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours. The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid. Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you could survive the odds beating you. Ive stopped listening, why havent you stopped talking? Im terrified of dying in a plane crash. Id hate the thought that peanuts would be my last meal. Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised we lied about the cookies? When life gives you lemons, squirt the lemons in Life's face. Some say the glass is half empty, others half full, all's I want to know is who the Dark Forest is drinking my water! You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid... If you ever wondered who made up all of the 'copy this into your profile' things then copy this into your profile. If you still have to make an L with both hands to find out which way is left or right, copy this to your profile. If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this into your profile. (Yeah, you know who you are) If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. you still have to think 'righty tighty, left loosy' when opening, well, anything, copy this into your profile. if you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune. If you think energy drinks are bad for you because they make you spazz out, but you drink them anyway and love 'em, copy and paste this on your profile. If you girls/guys love Warriors, copy and paste this on your profile. If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile If you think Hermione would get along with Annabeth copy and paste this to your porofile If you've ever copied a bunch of stuff onto your profile, then forgotten to update, copy and paste this to your profile (and remember to hit update) If you admire Victoria Stilwell from It's Me or the Dog copy and paste this to your your profile If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this to your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile If you have an extremely long profile, copy this into it to make it longer If you think the rabbit from the Trix commercial should go to the store and by his own box, copy this into your profile. If you ever heard voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this on your profile. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy, and taste good with ketchup. If you agree put this on your profile. Honey badgers rock! If you agree, put this on your profile Cafe press is so awesome! If you agree, put this on your profile. If you want to go to the next InvaderCon put this on your profile! If you support OHP put this on your profile. If you feel that your profile must have perfect grammer put this on your profile OM frinkin' G Mad-eye Moody (Harry Potter) is so similar to Ezelryb (Guardians of Ga'Hoole) if you agree put this on your profile Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies) Good friends don't let you do stupid things, BEST FRIENDS don't let you do stupid things ALONE If you wish you were a Clan cat, copy this to your profile and add your name to the list: Troublestripe, Loyalflame, Firestar's Gal, Amberstar-Leader of SkyClan, Sparklingpool, Wolfgrowl, Hawksky, Brambleshadow of WindClan, Iceshadow911247, Amberleaf of ForestClan, Rabbitchase (aka niotpoda) If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever walked into a room, and forgot what you were doing, then started walking away, and suddenly remembered, copy and paste this into your profile. If FanFiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile If you're still waiting for your Hogwarts letter, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile (duh) If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy this into your profile. The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you're asleep. WARNING: Do not follow in my footsteps. I tend to walk into walls and off cliffs. If silence is golden, if talking silver? Real girls aren't perfect, and perfect girls aren't real. I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have. Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines. My favorite word is sarcasm. Please don't drop cigarette buds on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer. God created boys before girls because every true artist creates a rough draft before a masterpiece. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. Paper may beat rock, but cannonball make big hole in paper. One way to find out if something works: push all the buttons. One day your prince will come. Mine? He took a wrong turn, got lost, and was to stubborn to ask for directions. I hear your silence loud and clear. If Wal-mart is lowering their prices everyday, how come the store isn't free yet? Sarcasm doesn't work on a sarcastic person. I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy! Be nice to your kids. They choose your nursing home. Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can! Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it... Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. Borrow money from pessimists- they dont expect to get it back! There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant. Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally. If you think Harry Potter is still better than Twilight, copy and paste this onto your profile. Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. I ran with scissors, and lived! I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. "God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. "We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do." If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy this into your profile. (DEFINITELY!) If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think (or know) you're obsessed with Warriors, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you can't decide who Crowfeathershould be with, and can think of good reasons for Leafpool and Feathertail but not that icky Nightcloud, copy and paste this into your profile! (LEAFPOOL!) If you think warriors is the best books of all copy and paste this into your profile If you wish the warriors books are true copy and paste this into your profile If you wish you were born a cat and not a human copy and paste this into your profile If you and your friends have nicknames, titles, or anything else for each other copy this to your profile. (Warrior names ) If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. If you ever wished you could be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile. If you actually like to read, just for fun, copy and past this on your profile. If you believe in Jesus Christ, put this in your profile, and DON'T IGNORE THIS because in the Bible it says, "If you deny me on Earth, I will deny you in front of my Father at the Gates of Heaven." 98 percent of authors confuse "you're" and "your". If you're one of the 2 percent who knows how to tell them apart, copy and paste this into your profile. If you read your own stories or profile just for the heck of it, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If you say soda instead of pop, copy and past this to your profile. Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile. The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide (LOL) If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile A friend helps you up when you fall. a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much smart one?" A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "LETS DO THAT AGAIN! I CALL SHOTGUN THIS TIME!" If you've ever asked a really stupid and obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever had a paper cut, and sucked on the blood, copy and paste this onto your profile. Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "too small" and "off it's orbit" for a couple of scientist's likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO! =) If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile! 98 of teens have been drunk or high. Paste this into your profile if you like bagels. (nom) If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your pro About 160,440 people die of lung cancer each year. About 85 percent of these people are smokers. Copy and paste this into your profile if you think smoking should be made illegal. If you'd rather get hammered by King Dedede than get hammered by alcohol, put this in your profile. If you're disgusted by the way most teenagers are acting nowadays, then copy and paste this into your profile. Drugs are bad news. Spread the word.Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your profile Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile. Profile your into this past and copy ,retard a like beggining the from this read actually you if. Now Read It Backwards. If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile 98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile. If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile If you have an exceedingly long profile because of copy/paste items, copy this into your profile to make it even longer. If you like to read what people put in their profiles,And you like Copy & Paste stuff,copy and paste this into your profile. Even when you can't see him, God is there. if you believe in God, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you love God with all your heart, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you like things that no one else you know does, copy and paste this onto your profile. If youthink a warriors movie would get twisted beyond recodnition and SUCK, copy and paste this to your profile. PM me if like any of these. I just want to know. You know when you love to write fan-fiction when: 1. You get up at unholy hours to type chapters and post them. 2. You can't sleep well knowing you don't have a chapter finished 3. You spend every free hour you have writing chapters for your story. (Or writing a new one) 4. You bargain with your computer to work when it decides to be stubborn in the middle of a chapter 5. Your best friends are people you've never met and have met over PM's and reviews 6. Your favorite past time is reading new writers fic's and putting up with there persistent questions and comments 7. You feel as if you never sleep 8. You have notebooks filled with stories and notes for your fic's 9. You always have a notebook with you so whenever a idea hits you can write it down 10. You have over 10 stories written within your first 3 months of writing 11. All you ever talk about with your non-over the internet friends is fan fiction and your friends on the site 12. Your mother or father tries to burn your fic's so that you can try to return to the normal world (It's been tried by a friends parent. It failed but it was tried. She has still never forgiven her mother.) 13. You post everything you find on other peoples profile that says: Post This COINKYDINK? I THINK NOT! 1. Confucius sounds like confusing 2. Brother sounds like bother 3. Sister sounds like blister 4. mother sounds like smother 5. dog is God spelled backwards put this on your page if you love to laugh Put This On Your Page If You Have Ever Fell Down The stairs Quotes "I only go to school on the days that don't end with y." -"Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink." -"A question that sometimes drive's me hazy: am I, or the others crazy?" -"Of all the things I lost, I miss my mind the most." -"Life is what happens to you while your busy making plans." -"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." -"I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying it." -"I reject your realty, and substitute my own." -"The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think." -"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car." -"Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film." -"After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles." -"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils." -"The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory." -"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together." -"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else." -"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do." -"Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from." -"Who are you and how did you get in here? Me: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith..." -"You laugh because I'm different... I laugh because you're all the same." -"When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room." -"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on." -"What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?" -"I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them." -"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?" -"Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!" - If you're gonna be two-faced, sweetie at least make one of them pretty. - All work and no play means you will die in seven days... dun dun duuun. - I run with scissors; it makes me feel dangerous. - Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; its already tomorrow in Australia. - Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid. - They say "guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well, I think the gun helps, 'cause if you just stood ther and yelled BANG, I dont think you'd kill too many people. - So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil? - People are like slinkies; basically useless, but so amusing to watch fall down the stairs. - Children in the dark make accidents. Accidents in the dark make children. - Closed minds always seem to be connected to open mouths. - Yeah, I'm a loser, but the coolest loser you'll ever meet. - Cute but psycho- things even out. - Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate. - I am generally very brave. Today, I just happen to have a headache. - I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms. - I've heard that it's possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. - No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me. - You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. - 'It's always the last place you look'. Well of course it is! Why the heck would I keep looking after I found it! - I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me. - I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? - I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse. - Life is all about ass. Everyone's either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply just being one. - Why do people always say life is short. Life is the longest damn thing you can do. - Love your enemies. It pisses them off. - Oops! Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings? - I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out. - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind! But not my brain- I need that. - Practice makes perfect. But nobody's perfect, so why practice? - Nobody is perfect. I am nobody. - Life isnt passing me by; it's trying to run me over. - Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried. - Shit happens. But mostly to me, so dont worry. - Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again! - Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door. - Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried skydiving without a parachute... Or maybe they did. I mean we never really met whoever said it, did we? - Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to. - I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept! - Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide. - I was uncool before uncool was cool. - Why get high when there are other ways to achieve a smug sense of superiority- sarcasm: my anti-drug. - Caution: I tend to make wierd faces. - I like the idea of karma; you can go around and do bad things to people all day assuming they deserve it. - I used to see a shrink... until she said life isn't for everyone. - You have one advantage over me: you can kiss my ass. I cant. - I can resist anything but temptation. - Excuse me, have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it. - All those who have telekenesis, raise my hand. - Why do they steralize the needle for lethal injections? - How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on. - If superman is bulletproof, why does he duck when you throw the gun at him? - If asteroids are in the hemisphere, and hemroids are on your ass, why are they named the way they are? - I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there. - Money can't buy happiness. It just buys everything you need to achieve it. - Three wise women would have stopped to ask for directions, got to the stable on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, cooked the dinner, and then there would have been peace on earth. - The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide. - I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my super powers. - Don't call me emo, or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain. And then I'll die and it'll be ALL YOUR FAULT. - Your wierdness is creeping out my imaginary friend. - Tell the truth and run. - If electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from? - Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli', meaning many, and 'tics', as in the bloodsucking creatures? - If everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something. - You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump of a cliff, I laugh even harder. - Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable. But that is called 'cannibalism' my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. - Education is important. school however, is another matter. - I used to be normal... until I met those freaks i call my friends. - I dont obsess! I think intensley! - Do people even know what 'pro-biotic' and 'omega 3 fatty acids' are? Beacuse the yogurt may taste good, but it sounds pretty gross to me. - It's not just your family. It's the whole idea of... you know. They're always telling you what to do and what not to do, and it's not conductive to a creative atmosphere! - Joey ate my last stick of gum. So I killed him... do you think that was wrong? - All right, all right. If you have to tell her the truth, at least wait until the timing is right... and that's what deathbeds are for. - Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. - I got you a present; it's a CD. I hope you haven't got it, because I don't have a receipt... and I didn't exactly buy it - I was born intelligent. Education ruined me. - If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are these "others" here for? - Since light travels faster than sound, it explains why people appear bright until you hear them speak. - How come 'abbreviated' is such a long word? - Money isn't everything- there's Mastercard and Visa too. - Behind every successful man there is a woman. Behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. - Success is a relative term. It attracts all the relatives. - There should be a better way to start the day than waking up every morning. - 'Hard work never killed anybody' But why take the risk? - God made relatives. Thank god we can choose our friends. - The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know... so why learn in the first place? - Reality has no background music... so I make my own (doo do do do do doo) - Oh, I have a photographic memory... it just hasn't developed yet - Life is a test- I didn't take very good notes - Whatever tickles your pickle - I asked my teacher if I'd get in trouble for something I didn't do. She said of course not, so I told her I didn't do my homework - No I am not wierd... just plotting - If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms - You're awesome... but when the zombies come, I'm tripping you - I'm not crazy, my reality is just different than yours Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts: 1) Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms 2) I will not sing "We're Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office. 3) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class 4) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss 5) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda 6) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar 7) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy 8) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month" 9) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals 10) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches 12) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Moblie, Robin!" 13) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm. 14) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor 15) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental 16) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends" 17) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book. 18) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!" 19) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" everytime I apparate. 20) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls. 21) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice. (Damn, now I will have to use the other option.) 22) I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand. 23) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs. 24) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice. 25) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort. 26) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera. 27) I will not refer to the Accio charm as "the Force". 28) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays. 29) I will not put Muggle fairy books in the History section at the library. 30) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas. 31.)I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore". 32.)House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers. 33.) Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever moneymaking concept. 34.)I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause. 35.) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord. 36.)I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snapes private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing. 37.) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it. 38.)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice. 39.) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro. 40.) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class. 41.)The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid. 42.)I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets". 43.)When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts. 44.)Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either. 45.)A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly. 46.) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy. " 47.)I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death. 48.). I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord. 49.)Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny. 50.)Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient. 51.)Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists. 52.)I may not have a private army. 53.) I must not substitute chocolate-flavored laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate. 54.)Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy. 55.)I am not the wicked witch of the west. 56.) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either. 57.) I will not melt if water is poured over me. 58.) -Neither will Professor Umbridge. 59.)I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors. 60.)I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose. 61.) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover. 62.) I will not test my Potions assigments by spiking Snape's drink with them. 63.) - Especially not all of them at once. 64.) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts." 65.) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos." 66.)Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'. 67.)I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter. 68.)When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'. 69.)Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'. 70.)The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters. 71.)I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort. 72.)Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of muggle firearms. 73.)Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either. 74.)I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins. 75.)I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes. 76.)I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing. 77.)I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'. 78.)I will not create a betting pool on that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father. 79.)Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka. 80.)Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles. 81.) I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter. 82.)Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin". 83.)I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape. 84.). - However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it. 85.)If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume. 86.) I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes. 87.)I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either. 88.)I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron. 89.)I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times. 90.)It's not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says All the good looking ones die young with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it. 91.)I will not yell "Hey look It's Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade 92.)I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad bad nightmare about Harry 93.)I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall 94.) I will not snap my fingers in a z formation and say "oh no, you dinin't" whenever Malfoy insults anyone. 95.) -Same with professor Snape- 96.) I will not play poker or bridge with Professor Trelawney's cards. 97.) I will not draw mustaches, glasses, scars, devil horns, or other paraphernalia on the paintings in Hogwarts while the subjects are sleeping. They do not find it amusing. 98.) Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit. 99.) I will not change gravity on the Hogwarts grounds. My fellow students do not need to develop extra muscles and jumping into an orbit is not funny. 100.) I will not follow potion instructions in reverse order "to see what happens." 101.) I will not walk up to a Hufflepuff and ask if he/she is going to huff and puff and blow my house down. 102.) I will not accept anything edible from a Weasley. Especially if it is offered with a compensation for any damages. 103.) Hogwarts is not in the flight path of any Muggle airport, and Muggle airplanes cannot crash into Hogwarts. That being the case, there is no need to have first years standing on the spires of Hogwarts waving torches screaming "Go away, go away!" 104.) I will not ask for advice from Peeves on how to wreak havoc. This goes for Fred and George, too. 105.) Making rumors about Harry and Draco's secret love life is not funny and it will stop soon. 106.) I will not suggest to Fred and George that they invent and sell Anti-Anti-Cheating Charm quills. 107.) I will not tell first years that the best way to study is to stay up all night balancing your textbook on your head, as gravity will cause the information to sink through the skull and into the brain. Having not done this, I will not stay up all night to laugh at said first years. 108.) I will not point to Harry Potter's scar and ask if his Voldy senses are tingling. 109.) I will not organize a Junior Death Eaters Training Camp at Hogwarts. I will not hand out medals for "Hexing Harry Potter," "Endangering a teacher's life by jinxing," or "Throwing a person from the Astronomy Tower." I will not send the latter to Professor Snape and make him an honorary member. 110.) I will not add "according to the prophecy" at the end of all my sentences to raise my Divination grade. 111.) I will not push Professor Flitwick from his stack of books claiming I need them for my studies. 112.) I will not spike my best friend's pumpkin juice and tell him to go hit on Professor McGonagall. Or Professor Snape. 113.) When asked a question by a teacher I will not inform them that the answer is protected by a Fidelius Charm and I am not the Secret Keeper. 114.) I will not hiss at Harry Potter instead of talking. 115.) I will not organize a witch burning, even if I have been assigned to do a presentation on Muggle history in my Muggle Studies class. 116.) I will not tell Oliver Wood that Quidditch as been permanently canceled. Having not done this, I will not tell him that it is Marcus Flint's fault. 117.) The answer to every question isn't yellow, Minnesota, 43, or the Imperious curse. 118.) I am not allowed to ink my owl's feet, have it walk across a parchment, and sell the result as cheat sheets for Ancient Runes, even though Crabbe and Goyle keep falling for it. 119.) Crucifixes do not ward off Slytherins, and I should not test that. 120.) When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and shout, "There can be only ONE!" 121.) I am not to attempt to stake Professor Snape. 122.) I will not stack Professor Trelawny's tarot deck so that the first five cards are The Devil, The Tower, The Hanged Man, Judgement and Death. 123.) I will not tell first years that they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow. 124.) Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project" for herbology. 125.) No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class. 126.) I will not shave Mrs. Norris. 127.) I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or pirahna. 128.) Nor am I to sell any of these to Hagrid. 129.) I will not ask Ginny how to properly strangle a chicken. 130.) Hogwarts does not have a student council. Even if it did, they would not wear the rose seal. Therefore I will cease going after the prefects with a sword. 131.) I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter's prized Firebolt. 132.) The giant squid is not a suitable date for the Yule ball. 133.) It is wrong to refer to Aragog as "Charlotte". 134.) I will not swap Draco's broom with one out of Filch's broom cupboard. 135.) I am no longer allowed in the student laundry. 136.) -Or the teacher laundry. 137.) Nor am I allowed to ever cast an Invisibility charm again. 138.) While wand safety is an important issue, I am no longer allowed to distribute any pamphlet, which makes reference to Belinda the Buttless. 139.) It is generally accepted that Cats and Dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory, no matter how wicked the result would be. 140.) I will not give any girl a one half of a set of two-way mirrors as a Christmas present. 141.) -Especially if I don't tell her what it is. 142.) Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled firewhiskey. 143.) -Charming the label does not change anything. 144.) I am not allowed to eat Chocolate Frogs in Potions class. 145.) -Even if I brought enough for everyone. 146.) -Emptying a bag full of them onto Professor Snape's desk to prove this last is unacceptable behavior. 147.) I will not stare at the great hall ceiling and say "there are stars!" 148.) Nor will I sing twinkle twinkle little star. 149.) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicate that they are "covered in bees". 150.) I am not allowed to draw a smiley face on my arm and tell everyone its the new Dark Mark. 151.) The proper way to report to Professor McGonagall is "You wanted to see me, Professor?" Not "I have it on good authority that you have no evidence." 152.) I will stop referring to Hufflepuffs as "cannon fodder." 153.) First-years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow. 154.) There is no bring a muggle to school day. 155.) And I should stop insisting there is. 156.) I must not start a "Vote for me as Minister of magic" campaign. 157.) I will not send pictures of magical creatures to the Weekly World News. 158.) I will not refer to "The Grim" as a nice doggy. 159.) I will not refer to Professor Lupin as a nice doggy. 160.) I am not permitted to utter the line: "Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a _ out of my hat!" during Charms class. 161.) There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder. 162.) I will not enchant the telescopes on the Astronomy Tower to display non-existent constellations during O.W.L. exams. 163.) Albus Dumbledore's proper title is "Headmaster", not "My Liege". 164.) I will not use Slytherin and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations. 165.) I will not die the Death Eaters robes pink. 166.) Nor the Slytherins. 167.) I am not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here. 168.) I will never again use the spell used to enchant bludgers on peas. 169.) -Or tomatoes, plums, oranges, or any other food item. Or any other item that is not a Bludger. 101 things I cannot do to Annoy People 1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." 3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..." 5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. 6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. 7. Speak only in a "robot" voice. 8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. 9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub". 10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies. 11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. 12. Sniffle incessantly. 13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. 14. Name your dog "Dog" and your Cat ‘cat’. 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up." 16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think." 17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training." 18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace". 19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot." 20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol. 21. Practice making fax and modem noises. 22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss. 23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. 24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance. 25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person." 26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy." 27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control. 28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment. 29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. 30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room. 31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice. 32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting. 33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way." 34. Drum on every available surface. 35. Staple papers in the middle of the page. 36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates. 37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings. 38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks. 39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places. 40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page. 41. Set alarms for random times. 42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon. 43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving. 44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise. 45. Honk and wave to strangers. 46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange. 47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show. 48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies. 49. Wear your pants backwards. 50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register. 51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!" 52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE. 53. only type in lowercase. 54. dont use any punctuation either 55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets. 56. Pay for your dinner with pennies. 57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes. 58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question. 59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps. 60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories. 61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now." 62. Light road flares on a birthday cake. 63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley. 64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency. 65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador." 66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks. 67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained. 68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One." 69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk. 70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read. 71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it. 72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat. 73. Drive half a block. 74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination. 75. Ask people what gender they are. 76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back. 77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl. 78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes". 79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song. 80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet. 81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day. 82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September. 83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a." 84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. 85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed. 86. Wear a LOT of cologne. 87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing." 88. Sing along at the opera. 89. Mow your lawn with scissors. 90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!" 91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend." 92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme. 93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles." 94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture." 95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times. 96. Never make eye contact. 97. Never break eye contact. 98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn. 99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results. 100. Make appointments for the 31st of September. 101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties. If you're going to go down, go down with style. Failing your final exam can actually be an amusing experience, depending on what you make of it. Here are some suggestions... Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!" If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is. Bring cheerleaders. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?" Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc...). Play with the volume at max level. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative. Bring pets. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers. Come into the exam wearing a pair of birkenstocks, and nothing else. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB, BABE, etc..). Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Screw this!" and walk out triumphantly. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink). Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you start to hold your mouth and make "I'm about to bring something up" sounds.). Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!" Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!" Bring a water pistol with you. Nuff said. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation. Bring cheat sheets FROM ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out, too) and staple them to the exam with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit." When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her. One word: Wrestlemania. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start. Try to get people in the room to do the wave. Play Frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc... sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say "it helps me think." Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so". Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why My Professor Sucks" HOW CRAZEE?? Crazy is when you have a voice in your head that you named Pedro, even though he clearly isn't spanish and you just do that to annoy him. Crazy is when you're so obsessed with eating your Jell-o (and you forgot to put a spoon in your lunch box) that you try drinking your Jell-o through a straw and using straw chopsticks because straws were the only untensil-type thing available. Crazy is when you start dancing in Walmart to its cheesy music. Crazy is when u laugh uncontrolable at your own jokes. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny. Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!". Crazy is when you forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence. Crazy is when you take the time to write down stuff like this and memorize it. Crazy is when your are going through this as a checklist. Crazy is when you quote Charlie the Unicorn at random momments. Crazy is when you eat twenty pixie sticks in one day. Crazy is when your crazy. Crazy is when start talking nonsense everyday during gym. Crazy is when you convince your friends your 'high' because you can't stop laughing even when nothing is funny. And then all of you convince the nearest adult that you're having a breakdown. Crazy is when you trip up the stairs, and laugh all the way back down them. Crazy is when it is last day of school you scream and run around in circles. Crazy is when you get drunk on air and laugh during the saddest part of the move. Crazy is when you can call yourself something else, and completely become that person, forgetting your reason for hating the world, Crazy is when you laugh at nothing during school and laugh when everyone looks at you like your insane. Crazy is when you trip over nothing at all, fall, and say "I see the ground...it's pretty". Crazy is when you kick, scream and cry when your favorite TV Show or Movie goes to commercial. Crazy is when you start skipping down the hallway and start singing 'Follow the Yellow Brick Road' at the top of your lungs. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list! 37 Things to do in an Elevator 1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" These are actually on the labels. On Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos: On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swann frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children's cough medicine: On Nytol sleep aid: On a Korean kitchen knife: On a string of Christmas lights: On a food processor: On Sainsbury's peanuts: On artificial bacon: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a child's Superman costume: On an American Flag: At Funplex: Next to a kid's place: In a Parking Lot: FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food. FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs. FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry. FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door. FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile. FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough. FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you. FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. FAKE FRIENDS: Say no when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2011 when... 1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries. 7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen 8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee 11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : ) 12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing. 13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message. 14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list AND FINALLY NOW UR LAUGHING at yourself. Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to! Go lick your elbow. When you were 5, your mom bought you an ice cream cone. You thanked mer by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind. When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming class to soccer, and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back. When you were 10, your mom paid for piano lessons. You thanked her by never coming to class. When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thanked her by talking on the phone all night. When you were 14, your mom paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter. When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got. When you were 17, your mom drove you to the mall and gave you her credit card. You thanked her by maxing it out. When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn. When you were 20, your mom drove you to college. You thanked her by saying goodbye outside your dorm, so you wouldn't have to say 'bye' in front of your friends. When you were 26, your mom payed for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world. When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to children. Then, one day, she quietly died, and everything you did came crashing down on you. If YOU love your mom, re-post this, and if you don't, you wouldn't care if your mom dies, would you? To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!" 5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6.When you drop a pen, don't pick it up. When someone reaches to pick it up for you, scream, "Wait! That's mine!!!" 7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'. 9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!' 18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' 20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity... Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile. If everytime you hear the word rum, you automatically think of Captain Jack Sparrow, put this on your profile! If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile. If you think you should be able to watch what you want on TV without being called immature, copy and paste this in your profile. If you believe in doing what you love, no matter what other people might think, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are a chocoholic copy this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you say it, copy and paste this into your profile. Fanfiction is to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile. Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?" If you have retained an unshakeable belief in aliens, despite severe peer pressure, copy and paste this onto your profile and know that you're not alone.' If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you think Invader Zim should kick Sponge Bob's yellow square ass post this in your profile. If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile! If you have ever wondered what the afterlife is like, copy this into your profile. If you have a lot of fanfic ideas in your head but are unable to bring yourself to write them, copy and paste this in your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. A large percent of writers don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. If you're one of the ones who does know and wants to SLUG them, put this in your profile. If you get a kick out of explosions, put this in your profile. If you feel that half your day is spent being bored copy this onto your profile. !eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI If you can't stop putting these things on your profile, copy and paste this to your profile! If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you like to read what people put in their profiles, and you like Copy & Paste stuff, copy and paste this into your profile. If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! If you realize that copying and pasting stuff into one's profile is completely pointless, yet do it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile. I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile. you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile. If you LOVE Choco-tacos copy and paste this to your profile. If you like ZIM copy and paste this to your profile. If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile If you have ever made up your own language just for fun, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever run up or down an escaltor and SUCCEDED in getting to the top or bottom, copy and paste this into your profile If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think it's stupid that girls are associated with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile If people think you are mentally insane copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this into your profile If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing copy and paste this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile If you have a million and one notebooks, and still need more for your imagination or creativity, copy this into your profile If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. (SHUT UP PROWL) If you have no idea what people are talking about yet you pretend that you do, copy and paste this on your profile. copy and paste this to your profile if you want a taco CoPy AnD pAsTe ThIs To YoU aRe PrOfIlE iF yOuR aWeSoMe!i! If you are obsessed with Invader Zim, copy and paste this onto your profile. ALL AROUND GOOD QUOTES: there is no I in TEAM but there is a ME in AWESOME It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn When Remus J. Lupin rules the world all problems will be solved with chocolate. I learned parseltongue for my foreign language coarse. I will never ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling. I will not scream lumos at the light switch... again. I will not under any circumstances ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss. I will not bring a fortune cookie/magic 8 ball to divination class (for extra credit). I will not jump up in the middle of an Order or DA meeting and yell "Voldemort, run!" I will not relate all of my Vocab words to fictional characters. I will not write fanfiction instead of doing my homework. Again. A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you. A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you. A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in. A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!" A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial. A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you. A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story. A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries. If Fanfiction is your way of escaping reality and the rest of the boring people in the world and truly "unleashing your imagination" then paste this in your profile you are so obsessed with Harry Potter that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile (Its really getting annoying) If you can't stand preppy people who talk like this: "I like, can't believe, I like, chipped my manicure!!", copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever cried when your favorite character died/almost died, copy and paste this into your profile If you like to root for the bad guys in movies/TV shows, copy and paste this into your profile 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", If you have inside jokes... with yourself... copy and paste this into your profile. You know something sad? I know more about Harry Potter than american History Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that. If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile. If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile. If you've ever imagined yourself killing off a fictional character so that you could steal her fictional boyfriend, copy this into your profile Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines. Education is important, school however, is another matter. Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't You know it's a bad day when you roll off the bed...and miss the floor. You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you are all the same. I'm not afraid of death. What's it going to do? Kill me? The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor"--a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck, my friends, for I may not return alive. 'I used to have superpowers, but my therapist took them away' 'you're just jealous because the voices only talk to me' 95 of people would go nuts if Edward Cullen jumped off a building. 4 would yell JUMP. If you think High School Musical is evil,and brainwashes little kids,copy and paste this in your profile. If you have ever tripped over a pillow, copy this into your profile. If you have stared at your computer for a complete hour copying and pasting copy and paste its into your profile copy and paste this into your profile. If you absolutely LOVE to sing even though you may or may not suck copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever been told a joke, not gotten it, and then burst out laughing half an hour later when you actually got it, copy & paste this into your profile. If you dare to say the Dark Lord's name, copy and paste this into your profile. If people tend to tell you you write very good and should go ahead with it copy this to your profile If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile. It's retarded. It's ridiculus. It's re-dic-u-tarded!"-unknown "Being normal is for freaks."-unknown "Exile. I'm in exile. They've banished me from the lunch table."-unknown "They have sent us to this dungeon, more commonly known as school."-unknown "When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then let everyone else wonder how you did it." -unknown "Whenever I have trouble sleeping, I count the buckles on my straightjacket." "Penguins!! They steal your sanity one brain cell at a time!!" Did you know Sarcasm is your body’s natural defense against stupidity? I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. (Stupid psychiatrist...) Boys say that in everything they do, they can kick a girl's butt so bad that they cry. If you're a girl who kicks the boys' butts so bad they cry like girls, copy this into your profile Dora is only teaching kids to be stupid, I mean, c'mon, any normal kid could see the giant mountain that is RIGHT. THERE. BEHIND THEM!!!! We get it. You're the map. Why don't you say it again in case we didn't hear you?!?!?!?! If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, copy this in your profile. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons. To them you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup If you can’t stand the heat, don’t tickle the dragon. I'm like time... I can't be stopped. If you hate it when new-comers barge in, declare themselves supreme rulers of your fandom, and begin trying to define what's cool and what isn't, PLEASE copy and paste this into your profile If you think fanfiction contributes to society and people ought to get placed in Guiness books for it, copy and paste this to your profile If your definition of happiness is jumping up and down your bed (and then laughing your head off when you fall and bump your head), copy and paste this to our profile "Help I've fallen and i can’t...hey nice carpet!" Strangers stab you in the front, friends stab you in the back, boyfriends stab you in the heart, but best friends poke you with bendy straws. I'm not antisocial. I just can't stand people. Don't follow in my footsteps. I run into walls. I'm an angel. The horns are just to keep my halo straight. You know you watch too much Invader Zim when: 1. You have a sudden craving to squeeze a rubber piggy. 2. You don't listen to politicans speeches anymore... you vote for the tallest one. 3. Martians existed. And you know exactly what happened to them. 4. You pass out meat on Valentine's day instead of candy. 5. You talk in third person. 6. You block up your chimeny on Christmas beacuse you fear Santa's 'jolly boots of doom'. 7. The most terrifing image you can come up with is a moose eating walnuts. 8. You check your soap for bacon... just in case. 9. When you get a zit, you name it Pustulio and insist that he has hyptnotic powers. 10. When a dog follows you, you're frightened that you're turning into bolonga. 11. Chihuahuas are frightening creatures... 12. Tuna is worth NOTHING anymore. 13, Waffles are the best foods in the world. Period. 14. Being 'normal' is important beyond all else. 15. You've begun to wonder if your teacher can survive in the sun or not. 16. You've suspected that the nearby hot dog stand is controlled by aliens. 17. You wear a trench coat everywhere. 18. You don't eat proper meals anymore; only snacks. 19. You've tried to convert your basement ito a secret base. 20. When someone calls you stupid, you respond with 'I'm not stupid. I'm ADVANCED'! Copy and paste that into your profile if you laughed. |
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