My OLDE profile needed updating. It used to be run by Draknal-Ware…but that got old so we had to upgrade to Draknal-Ware (Lankard Edition) to power the super awesomeness of the profile page. So this profile page is now powered and run on Draknal-Ware 2.0.

Name: Hit 11 random letters on the keyboard and you got it.

Age: I just gained the ability to vote, kill myself (via cigarettes), and buy porn in the United States that should give you an idea of how old I am...that was last year.

Gender: I don’t, not have a Y chromosome.

Location: Some place in California that FoX has a crappy drama made in, and a mildly good comedy set in.

AIM: Sgt tarnsman (if you feel like praising me!)

Personal Hero: The dude who takes the arty shell in a war movie/game.

Something Funny: America, only 230 years old and in that time we've: Beat the crap out of England, beat the crap out of Indians, beat the crap out the Spanish & Mexicans, beat the crap out of ourselves, beat the crap out of Germany (twice), beat the crap out of Italy, beat the crap out of Japan, beat the crap out of Korea, almost beat the crap out of Vietnam, made some sweet moolah off of Iraq & Iran, beat the crap out of Iraq, then beat the crap out of Iraq again, and are keeping out the Mexicans with a gigantic fence. And we would have invented Tivo but those goddamn Jews got to it first!”

Favorite Stuff:

Anime:

Ah! My Goddess, Ah! My Goddess: Everyone Has Wings, Love Hina, Love Hina Again, Trigun, Outlaw Star, Great Teacher Onizuka, Neon Genesis Evangelion, D.N. Angel, 08th MS Team, Excel Saga, Cowboy Bebop, Hellsing, Chobits, Slayers, Burn Up Excess, Samurai X, Gundam Wing, Bleach, Trinity Blood, RahXephon, Full Metal Alchemist, Full Metal Panic, Samurai Champloo and good old Tenchi Muyo.

Television Shows:

South Park, Robot Chicken, Star Wars: Clone Wars (Micro Series), Family Guy, Simpsons, Monk, CSI, CSI: Miami, Draw Together, Scrubs, Law and Order.

Videogames:

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II (The Sith Lords), Star Wars: Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy, Call of Duty, Call of Duty: United Offensive, Call of Duty 2, Battlefield 1942, Battlefield 2, Guild Wars, Morrowind, Oblivion, Legend of the Dragoon, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy X, Final Fantasy CCXXXVIII (It will exist one day), Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, Halo: Combat Evolved, Halo 2, World of Warcraft and Starcraft

Cool People:

Darth Vader (Star Wars Episodes IV-VI), Darth Revan (Everything, because he is AWESOME!), Darth Nihilus (KoToR II: The Sith Lords), Draknal (The Realm of Proofreading), Naru Narusegawa (Love Hina), Asuka Langley Sohryu (Neon Genesis Evangelion), Colonel Norris Packard (08th MS Team, badass Gouf pilot!), Vice Commander Fuyutsuki (Neon Genesis Evangelion), Eikichi Onizuka (Great Teacher Onizuka), Urumi Kanzaki (Great Teacher Onizuka), Vash the Stampede (Trigun), Spike Spiegel (Cowboy Bebop), Alucard (Hellsing), Paladin Alexander Anderson (Hellsing) Zelgadis Greywords (Slayers, The Power of Blue), Kurz (Full Metal Panic) Greed (Full Metal Alchemist) Kenpachi Zarachi (Bleach).

Quotes from good old HK-47:

"Advisory: It is not possible to destroy the master. It is suggested that you run while my blaster warms up."

"Objection: I am not a problem, meatbag. You and your lack of any organized repair skills are a problem."

"Commentary: The meatbag speaks without clarity. Detail your involvement or the master will splatter your organs all over the floor."

"I would have congratulated him, if he had not been sizzling and incoherent at the time."

"Suggestion: Shall we find something to kill to cheer ourselves up?"

"Retraction: Did I say that out loud? While it is true you are a meatbag, I should refrain from addressing you as such."

"Statement: Just when I believe my photoreceptors have recorded the last potential aspect of your cruelty to my memory core, you commit a new atrocity that leaves me analyzing its impact for days."

"You are like a delightful random cruelty generator, master, poisoning all you touch with your presence. You are a testament to all organic meatbags everywhere."

"Statement: I have already learned a great deal, master, and I am anxious to learn more of lying, betrayal, and new ways to harm innocents."

"Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope... Love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticule, and together, achieving a singular purpose against statistically long odds."

"Qualification: It’s just that, you are an organic meatbag, master. And all that water… how the noise from your insides sloshing around doesn’t drive you mad, I have no idea."

"If you will excuse me, I will meditate on the face of my old master as he was being electrocuted. I find it most soothing."

"Do you hear that, meatbag? I will be back!"

"I think he is making fun of you, Master. Shall I proceed with wasting the Meatbag?"

"I think that would be a good choice meat...er master..."

"Deceit: Nothing to see here miss, just a regular droid. Move along, move along."

"I am quite eager to participate in some unadulterated violence."

"As you say Master. Would you prefer me to call you something else? Perhaps liquidous fleshbag?"

"No, close the panel... I don't believe you repaired my systems Master. Your meat...I mean you're not a droid."

"Suggestion: Electrocution works well. Evisceration and Decapitation are also effective, or um, so I've heard."

"Your pupil once asked me what I thought of him and I informed him of his meatbag status. He was unimpressed, but you thought the reference was humorous. You programmed me to continue using that reference. It drove your pupil to extreme lengths of frustration."

"What are you doing?! Remove the arc wrench! REMOVE THE ARC WRENCH!" (high-pitched, quiet voice) "medic!"

"Damn it Master, I'm an assasination droid, not a dictionary!"

"That is not it, master. No, that is not it either. Sigh that is a hinge, master."

"I will do anything you command master. Even if it means... being gulp non-violent."

"Warning: Touch the master's blade and lose an arm, meatbag!"

"Statement: Even a droid is allowed some fun once in a while, master."

"Please, master. I need those circuits, master. Do not destroy them out of frustration."

"You are a very harsh master, master. I like you."

"Shall I blast him now master?"

"Stupid, frail, non-compartmentalized organic meatbags!"

"I therefore make no claim to that designation, prospective buyer. I am a law-abiding droid. Yes, indeed, law-abiding, that's me!"

"Translation: 98 probability that members of the miniature organic's tribe are being held by Sand People, master. Doubtless he wishes assistance. There is also a 2 probability that the miniature organic is simply looking for trouble and needs to be blasted. That may be wishful thinking on my part, master."

"Malak asked me what I thought of him, and I informed him of his meatbag status."

"Part of the love of my function comes when the 'furnishings' pull out Tibanna powered rifles and point them at their owners' heads."

(In combat) "Prejudice set to maximum."

HK-47: Query: Can I kill him now, master? I'd like ever so much to break his neck. It's been a long time fantasy of mine...
Revan: Maybe later...
HK-47: Did you hear that meatbag? "I'LL BE BACK!"

HK-47: Statement: HK-47 is ready to serve, master.
Revan: You don't need to call me master, you know.
HK-47: Query: Don't I? I was under the assumption that organic meatbags such as yourself enjoyed such forms of address.
Revan: "Organic meatbags?"
HK-47: Retraction: Did I say that out loud? I apologize, master. While you are a meatbag, I suppose I should not call you as such.
Revan: You just called me a meatbag again!
HK-47: Explanation: It's just that... you have all these squishy parts, master. And all that water! How the constant sloshing doesn't drive you mad, I have no idea...
Revan: Neither do I, come to think of it...
HK-47: Statement: Now do you understand the travails of my existence, master? Surely it does not compare to your existence, but still...
Revan: I survive. Somehow.
HK-47: Commentary: As do I. It is our lot in life, I suppose, master. Shall we find something to kill to cheer ourselves up?