About the author:

Hi there! I'm Baked, and this is what passes for my profile page!

I'm a late-twenties gentleman living near a famous set of waterfalls in the United States (and I use that United loosely), though not in close proximity.

Give me any season but summer, please. Winter and Fall are my favorites.

I love my daughters, my cat, Twila, my plants, my friends and family, and all the facets of existence.

Though I do despise, in no particular order, racists, rapists, pedophiles, bigots, pretentiousness, people who abuse drugs or alcohol (responsible use in a safe environment is perfectly fine, in my eyes, so long as no one gets hurt), religious extremists, social extremists, SJWs who get all up in your face for no reason, seagulls, and corporate greed.

I got into Fanfiction years ago, under a different pen name; nothing ever came of it, thank the Gods! I was an awful writer at the time.

Eons later, after college, having two beautiful and smart girls, and several jobs, I took M'aiq the Liar's advice and decided to return to writing for the enjoyment of the masses! Though I also use it as a means to fight my depression and as an anger management exercise (being a parent is never easy, but at the same time it really is!).

Listing what I am a fan of would take several hours, so I'll list a few of my favorite fandoms and the reasons I like them, in no particular order.

Harry Potter: I like it more for the fanfiction than for the canon, mainly because Dame Rowling had a diamond with books One through Five(ish) and somehow managed to turn it back into coal with books Six and Seven. Fanfiction really helped me get past the soul-crippling disappointment that was book Seven and the Epilogue (I was pulling for a Harry/Hermione ending, enough said), so to all the writers out there that tried their hand at a good rewrite of Rowling's magical world, thank you.

The Elder Scrolls Series: Except Online. I have ignored its existence thus far and will continue to do so. Morrowind was my first experience with TES, and I can honestly say that, between Morrowind, Oblivion and Skyrim, the first is god-tier, the second is legendary, and the third...meh, it's alright. I stayed with this fandom mostly for the rich and storied lore that comes with it, and I can honestly say that I've greatly enjoyed playing these games, not to mention writing A Witch's Tale!

Naruto: Mainly for the fanfiction, honestly. Kishimoto, for all his considerable talent, is a jack-ass for making a manga about reality-bending ninjas for kids. Also, for introducing otherwise likeable characters and then making them useless to the plot(Sakura, Tsunade, Jiraya, the list goes on). Go fanfiction authors! If you're wondering what I mean, search for Introvert or Drifting. Better yet, Kill Your Heroes is also an amazing Sakura-centric rewrite of the canon. Team 7's Ascension is another of my favorites, and I wish so hard it was canon...

Berserk: It's sad, horrifying, happy, romantic, grim, ridiculous, intriguing, complex, sexy, and it doesn't apologize for being what A Song of Ice and Fire wishes it could be. It's also the longest-running unfinished manga out there, and Kentaro Miura has taken such good care of it!

Fullmetal Alchemist: Hi! I'm Baked, and if you don't like Fullmetal Alchemist, then FK YOU! Kidding aside, people, take notes; that is how you write a story! One of the few stories whose canon I've enjoyed from beginning to end! A masterpiece.

Anything written by Neil Gaiman: Do I have to explain this? Sandman, Coraline, The Last Temptation, American Gods, Stardust, Batman: Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader?, the list goes on! Much of what I've written was inspired by this mythical sphinx of a man, and if I ever met him, I'd boop his nose. Boop!

Fallout: I've only played Fallout 3: GOTY Edition. I'll probably try my hand at a story once A Witch's Tale is completed and James Stormcaller makes it to Book 3 or 4, whichever comes first.

Dragon Age: Whenever I start a new playthrough of Inquisition, when Cassandra shows the Herald the Breach, I always imagine the Herald screaming "WHAT THE FK IS THAT?! HOLY ST, WOMAN, WHAT IN ANDRASTAE'S FIRM, LUSCIOUS TITS IS THAT THING?!" The dragons are harder to kill than in Skyrim, and the bosses generally put up a good fight. I like Nightmare difficulty, it's relaxing. Lore's on point, too.

Worm: Oh gawd, it's perfect! Well, nearly so. Ending was kinda meh. Also, ESCALATION EVERYWHERE!!!

Lovecraft Mythos and derivative works: IT'S GETTING WEIRD. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY - oh, that's a cute thingy, whatever it is. Should we call it George?

I'll finish this list later.

Rules:

1)I will do my best to not leave a story unfinished.

2)I will respond to all questions concerning my stories, within reason.

3)I will update with as much regularity as is feasibly possible.

4)I will endeavor to provide quality writing with every chapter. Constructive criticism is both allowed and encouraged.

5)I will not sacrifice any readers to the Dread Father, Sithis, or the Dread Wolf, Solas, or to the Kyuubi no Kitsune(unless they ask for it).

6)I reserve the right to erase any Anon reviews that displease my delicate sensibilities, and to strike down with caustic vitriol any and all criticism that belittles my writing styles.

AND NOW

Stories I've Written

HIGH PRIORITY:

INTERFACE (Worm AU; an examination of how different the world would be if Shard behavior was influenced by their Hosts. In Progress

Worm: Babel Worm/Lovecraft Mythos crossover; Taylor's power manifests at an early age, allowing her the ability to communicate with and summon beings that crawl between the stars. No one is happy about this. In Progress,

The Adventures of James Stormcaller (AU where Harry becomes a Shaman; a sort of glimpse at what canon Harry Potter could have been. Story 1 of 5 In Progress

MEDIUM PRIORITY:

A Witch's Tale (Skyrim/Harry Potter cossover; Hermione-centric. In Progress

Iron Berserk/Worm crossover; Taylor gets a very PR-unfriendly power: the Berserker Armor, and the ability to forge melee weapons and armor. Blood and guts everywhere.

LOW PRIORITY:

The Ghost of Mars: AU, Worm/Gundam AC where Taylor fights against the Federation, and hopefully make friends along the way.

Night Worm AU, darkelf!Taylor; the world all-but destroyed, Taylor is reborn as (and with the memories of) a Dark Elf in the ravaged ruins of Brockton Bay.

Hunger Worm AU; an extremely gruesome and morbidly hilarious take on the zombie genre, with zombie!Taylor trying to make snacks-I mean, friends! Very dark, In Progress

The other story I've written, Unforgivable, will be updated irregularly.

In addition...

Please bear in mind that I, Baked, am an overworked bundle of anxiety that may or may not overreact to certain stimuli. If you happen to be the target of my vitriol, please forgive me, as I really don't mean anything derisive in a personal way.

~Baked, 8/6/2019