HELLO PEEPS!!!!!

YO IMA NEW HERE, BIG FAN OF ANIME, ESPECIALLY SHUGO CHARA, AND MANY MORE; ETC.

I UPDATE MY STORIES ABOUT EVERY 3 WEEKS ( IMA SLOW TYPER, SORRY BOUT THAT! ILL START DOIN MY STORY tHE NXT 4 WEEK!!! ) IF YOU HAVE ANY MORE QUESTIONS YOU CAN JUST PM ME DEN KAY? ANYWAYS, INTRODUCTIONS TIME!!!!

INFO. ABOUT MOI!!!! ( ME!!! ) :

NAME: LIZZY THE LAME LUNATIC LAZY LIZARD (NO COMMENTS PLZ!!!)

AGE:14

GENDER: FEMALE

HAIR COLOR: BLACK

EYE COLOR: VIOLET (CONTACTS!!!DONT BLAME MY HORRIBLE EYESITE NOW PLZ!I DONT HAVE TIME TO BOTHER WIT THAT!)

HEIGHT: 5'1 FT

WEIGHT: DONT BOTHER TO ASK! I AINT GONNA TELL YA ANYWAYS!

FAV. COLOR: RED; BLACK; BLUE; PURPLE; PINK (HOT!); ORANGE

FAV. GENRE: HUH...NEVER THOUGHT BOUT THAT...

FAV. THINGS TO DO: SING; ACT; DRAW; WATCH (ANIME) MOVIES; PLAY SPORTS;READ (ANIME) BOOKS; EAT;WRITE STORIES (WELL NO FREAKING DUH! WHY DIDJA THINK I CREATED AN ACCOUNT???!!!) ETC. XD

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile.

HELP STOP RACISM!!!

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Stupid Racist people

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.

The white man said, "colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "When I was born I was black,"

"When I grew up I was black,"

"When I'm sick I'm black,"

"When I go in the sun I'm black,"

"When I'm cold I'm black,"

"When I die I'll be black."

"But you sir..."

"When you're born you're pink,"

"When you grow up you're white,"

"When you're sick, you're green,"

"When you go in the sun you turn red,"

"When you're cold you turn blue,"

"And when you die you turn purple."

"And yet you have the nerve to call me colored" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Copy this onto your site and help stop racism.

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1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "THAT WAS FRICKING AWSOME"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds arse that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'its because your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crappp!!

RANDOMNESS RULES!!

Real Anime Lovers: Know at least more than 10 series.

Fake Anime Lovers: Know only naruto.

Real Anime Lovers: Learn japanese from watching anime.

Fake Anime Lovers: Don't even bother to learn japanese.

Real Anime Lovers: Are secretly dating one of the anime characters.

Fake Anime Lovers: Don't even know the characters names!

Real Anime Lovers: Know almost 10 song opening lyrics in japanese

Fake Anime Lovers: Wouldn't probably bother to even listen to a song.

Real Anime Lovers: Have at least 1 Manga.

Fake Anime Lovers: Claim they have more Manga than you.

Real Anime Lovers: Were born to adore anime.

Fake Anime Lovers: Claim to have known anime for their entire lives.

Real Anime Lovers: Cry when a character dies.

Fake Anime Lovers: Think the show you watch is very strange.

Real Anime Lovers: Would join in forums and discussions.

Fake Anime Lovers: Would keep scrolling.

Real Anime Lovers: Has a Fanfiction account and active.

Fake Anime Lovers: Has no idea what Fanfiction is and if he/she ever reads one, they will think of it as a canon!

XxX

History lesson: The dinosaur's didn't go extinct. Barney showed up and they all committed suicide.

Sometimes I wonder 'Why's the Frissbe getting bigger?' And then I get hit in the face.

Friends help you move. Best friends help you move the bodies.

If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday.

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

When in doubt, push random buttons!

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman.

You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft!

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking.

You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.

There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.

I'm not as dumb as you look.

Sarcasm is one more service we offer.

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Some people are like Slinky's. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

It's ok to argue with two characters on your shoulders.

Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness.

Flying is simple, you just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

All people have the right to stupidity but some people abuse the privilege.

Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already.

The trouble with life, is there's no background music.

A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!

Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

Light travels faster than sound. That is why...some people seem bright until you hear them speak.

My imaginary friend thinks you have a very serious problem...

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet.

Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away.

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.

Don’t mess with me - I've got a stick.

One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

I have more fictional boyfriends than you do. Beat that!

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight.

If all else fails, try reading the instructions.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

Welcome to the Ool. There's no "p" in it, lets keep it that way.

"Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies." Willy Wonka I believe.

He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron.

Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over.

Its always in the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gurgle.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them.

Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

Normal people worry me.

The only reason that I talk to myself is because that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.

Being utterly random is awesome.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

Life isn't passing me by, it’s trying to run me over.

When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.

Life is like a pack of gum . . . I've yet to figure out why.

Be insane . . . because well behaved girls never made history.

You call me a Bch well a Bch is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment. XD

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Never knock on Death’s door. Ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Growing old is mandatory . . . growing up is optional . . .

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But we teenage girls are good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then throw it back at life and steal the oranges you asked for!

If life gives you lemons...throw them at someone.

If life gives you lemons, make beef stew.

When life gives you lemons throw them at the mean people and hope it gets them in their eyes.

When life gives you lemons, say "What else have you got?" you might get something else

When life gives you lemons ask is it a yaoi?

"I'm that girl

The one that likes books more than boys.

The one who pretends not to be sad, just to make others happy

The one who always wonders what she did wrong

The one who writes to escape

The one who just wants to help

The one that really wants to make a difference

The one that sticks to her values

The one that refuses to believe that this is it

The one that will do anything to make a better tomorrow

The one who won't give in

The one won't give up"

Female Come Backs pick up line comebacks, add to it

Male: hey baby, I Was Starring At You From Across The Room.

Women: Well, Why want you go back there and keep looking.

Man: What's your idea of a perfect evening?

Woman: The one I was having before you came over.

Man: I had no idea I would meet someone like you in here.

Woman: I had no idea they would let someone like you in here.

Man: Don't be shy, ask me out.

Woman: Ok, get out.

Man: Before I buy you a drink, will you tell me if you like me?

Woman: Get the drink first, we'll deal with the bad news later.

Man: I'd love to take you to dinner.

Woman: Excellent, can you pick me up again afterwards too?

Man: Can you tell me the time, because I want to make a note of the moment we first met?

Woman: I'll give it to you twice, because it's also the moment we split up.

Man: I'd go through anything for you.

Woman: Great, the exit's just there.

Man: Try imagining you're in love with me.

Woman: My imagination doesn't stretch that far.

Man "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"

Woman "Sorry, I don't date outside my species.."

Man: Do you think it was fate that brought us together?

Woman: No, just bad luck

Man: Where have you been all my life?

Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?

Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?

Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?

Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Girl, you must be a theif because you just stole my heart!

Woman: Sorry, you must have me mistaken for someone else; I only steal valuable things.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?

Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.

Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.

Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.

Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together

Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.

Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: I'd like to call you. What's your number?

Woman : It's in the phone book

Man: But I don't know your name

Woman: That's in the phone book too

Man: I know how to please a woman

Woman: Then please leave me alone

Man: I can tell you want me

Woman: Ohhhh, your so right, I want you to leave

Man: Hey baby, comming my way?

Woman: No, I'm heading that way, towards the door.

Man: "I want to give myself to you."

Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"

Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"

Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "I see you looking at me."

Woman: "No, I'm looking at the guy behind you."

Man: "Your feisty, I like that."

Woman: "Your smelly, go away."

Man: "My dad owns the Café. I could get us really good seats."

Woman: "My dad runs that hospital, and that's where you'll be if you keep hitting on me."

Man: "I have magic fingers. And they love to give massages."

Woman: "I have a high kick. And they love to land on..."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."

Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?

Woman: About as much as when you got kicked out of Hell. (POP!!)

Man: It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I’m checking you out.

Woman: Oh, sorry, I’m reserved for someone else.

Man: You look like a dream.

Woman: Go back to sleep.

Man: Are you available.

Woman: Yea, but not for you.

Man: What is your price.

Woman: Nothing you can afford I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff.(nIm)(if u dont know what that means, its putting the middle finger up nIm-see)
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist..
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo, not very good at it, and kind of hate writing.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the MOST POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST..
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.

What Makes 100? What does it mean to give MORE than 100? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100. How about achieving 103? What makes up 100 in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 8118423151811 = 98

And

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 11141523125475 = 96

Will take you far. But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 120209202145 = 100

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T 2211212198920 = 103

are better! AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G 1191911919199147 = 118

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put .

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES

Say the words out loud.

1) That's not right... ...Sum Ting Wong 2) Are you harboring a fugitive? ...Hu Yu Hai Ding 3) See me ASAP... ...Kum Hia Nao 4) Stupid Man... ... Dum Fuk 5) Small Horse... ...Tai Ni Po Ni 6) Did you go to the Beach?...Wai Yu So Tan 7) I bumped into a coffee table...Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni 8) I think you need a face lift...Chin Tu Fat 9) It's very dark in here...Wai So Dim 10) I thought you were on a diet...Wai Yu Mun Ching 11) This is a tow away zone...No Pah King 12) Our meeting is next week...Wai Yu Kum Nao 13) Staying out of sight...Lei Ying Lo 14) He's cleaning his automobile...Wa Shing Ka 15) Your body odor is offensive...Yu Stin Ki Pu 16) Great... ...Fa Kin Su Pah

10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL

10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks

9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies

8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly

7. Our magazines have horiscopes

6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around

5. Our friends don't say "hi" but punching us in the arm

4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month

3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have

2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket

1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing.

I am not afraid of the dark,

I am afraid of what is lurking in it.

I am not afraid of heights,

I am afraid of falling.

I am not afraid of falling in love,

I am afraid of not being loved back.

:.:7 Ways to Scare your roommates:.:

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..." 6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil. 5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks. 4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan. 3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry. 2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?" 1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then throw it back at life and steal the oranges you asked for!

When life gives you lemons, be sure to send a hand written thank you note for the lemons, as email thank you notes can appear to be less sincere.

When life gives you lemons suck out all of the vitamin C and yell “EAT THAT, LIFE!

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then wonder how the heck you did it.

When life gives you lemons, collect them because one day life will stop and you would have the only lemons out of everyone who got lemons in the end.

When life gives you lemons alter their DNA and make super lemons!!!

When life gives you lemons just shut up and eat your damn lemons.

When life gives you lemons sell them on ebay.

When life gives you lemons when no one is looking, throw them through life’s window and run away.

When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in his eye.

When life gives you lemons, find a kid with a paper cut.

When life gives you lemons, ask for the receipt.

When life gives you lemons, throw them at people with expensive cars.

When a guy named life gives you lemons, refuse them, because they were probably stolen!

When life gives you lemons, open a lemon stand and use these profits to buy a machine gun, we will see if life makes the same mistake twice.

When life gives you lemons, see if you can trade it for a melon, than trade that for a plate, trade the plate for a computer mouse, trade the computer mouse for a keyboard, trade the keyboard for a webcam, trade the webcam for a router, trade the router for a television, trade the television for a Xbox, trade the Xbox for a laptop, trade the laptop for a rare expensive lawn gnome (yeah, I know, wtf), trade the lawn gnome for a riding lawn mower, trade the lawn mower for a car, trade the car for an empty lot, trade the empty lot for some lumber and supplies…yeah I don’t know where this is going, but at least I made you waste your timing reading it.

when life gives you lemons throw them at the cops, run like hell, and hope you don't get tazered.

When life gives you lemons, blame Adam and Eve for taking all the good fruit.

When life gives you lemons dress up like life and hand them off to someone else.

when life gives you lemons, squirt them in her eye because life's a bitch.

when life gives you lemons make lemon juice because she didn't give you the water or sugar to make lemonade.

When life gives you lemons, laugh at the guy who got the bag of dog shit.

When life gives you lemons, you better throw them away because we all know what happened last time somebody screwed with his fruit.

When life gives you lemons, throw the lemons in life's face, steal his wallet, go shopping with all his credit cards.

When life hands you lemons, take a picture of him, because I wanna see what he looks like.

When life gives you lemons, dump them on 3rd world countries at very low prices, undercutting local farmers and preventing them from developing their economies and call yourself an agricultural subsidy.

When life gives you lemons, say "What else have you got?" you might get something else.

When life gives you his lemons, tell him that he's not getting your melons

When Life gives you his lemons, ask for his banana instead.

When Life gives you lemons, READ THEM!

When life gives you lemons, get mad! Who the hell does life think he is and where is he getting all these lemons...I bet he stole them from the Walmart down the street! Speak your emotions, flow with your thoughts! Say, 'I don't want your dirty lemons! Take these lemons back before I sue you! What gave you the right to give me these damned lemons! I demand to see your manager! You shall rue the day you decided to give me your disgusting lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the person who's going to make a combustible fluid and burn down your house! With the lemons!'

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to Scissors? Forget Scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because Paper can't beat anybody, a Rock would tear that crud up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready-made fist and say, 'Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.'

Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up.

Its always in the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.

You're laughing now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.

Tell the truth and run.

Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts.

Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead.

A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic.

I don't have low self esteem, I have low esteem for others.

Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" 2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves. 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral. 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons. 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on." 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?" 12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space." 14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?" 18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!" 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers. 21) SWAT at flies that don't exist. 22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

40 Things to do in Class when you're Bored:

1. Try to develop psychic powers, then use 'em. 2. Inflate a beach ball and throw it around the room. 3. Sing Show Tunes. 4. Make loud animal noises then deny doing it. 5. Think of new pick up lines. See if they work. 6. Pretend you're flying a jet fighter in the Gulf War. 7. Churn some butter. 8. Conceive a brand new language. 9. Walls made of brick. Count 'em. 10. Plot revenge against someone. 11. Think of nicknames for everyone you know. 12. See how long you can hold your breath. 13. Take your pants off and give them to the professor. 14. Chew on your arm until someone notices. 15. Change seats every three minutes. 16. Think of ways to cheat at Trivial Pursuit. 17. Shave. 18. Run across the room, tag someone and say "You're it.". 19. Announce to the class that you are God and that you're angry. 20. Think of five new ways to use your shoes. 21. Start a wave. 22. Walk around the room begging for spare change. 23. Roast marshmellows. 24. Practice phrasing your answers in the form of a question. 25. Crawl around the room humming the music from Mission Impossible. 26. Take apart your desk. 27. Pretend to communicate with your home planet. 28. Play rock-paper-scissors with yourself. Accuse your left hand of cheating. 29. Do a quick tapdance routine. 30. Try bird-watching. 31. Walk up the aisle yelling, "Popcorn! Hot popcorn here!". 32. Throw your backpack at someone. 33. Run to the window, then say, "Sorry, I thought I saw the Bat-signal". 34. Ask the person in front of you to marry you. 35. Start laughing really hard and say, "Oh, now I get it.". 36. Make a sundial. 37. Give yourself a new identity. 38. Write a screenplay about a diabetic Swedish girl who can't swim. 39. Dig an escape tunnel. 40. Announce your candidacy for President

TOMBOYISH OR GIRLY? (Bold the ones you are)

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies

You love jeans.

Dogs are better than cats.

It's hilarious when people get hurt.

You've played with/against boys on a team. (Not really.. Since I'm shy person..)

Shopping is torture.

Sad movies suck.

You own/ed an X-Box.

Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.

At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.

You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.

You watch sports on TV.

You used to be addicted to Power Rangers. (My lil bros were the one who caused that . )

Gory movies are cool. (I find them giving me this sort of thrill when I see them.)

You go to your dad for advice.

You own like a trillion baseball caps.

You like going to high school football games.

You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.

Baggy pants are cool to wear.

It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.

Green, black, redblue or silver are one of your favorite colors. (Black! X3)

You love to go crazy and not care what people think.

Sports are fun.

Talk with food in your mouth.

Sleep with your socks on at night. Total: 13/25

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/stick.

You love to shop.

You wear eyeliner.

You wear the color pink. (Used to bcuz ppl thought when I was a toddler, I was a boy.)

Go to your mom for advice. (Sometimes..)

You consider cheerleading a sport.

You hate wearing the color black. (Don't even say that to me! I love black!)

You like hanging out at the mall.

You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.

You like wearing jewelry.

Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.

Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.

You don't like the movie Star Wars. (The movie is alright =3 )

You were in gymnastics/dance. (I do dance though but rarely..)

It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.

You smile a lot more than you should.

You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.

You care about what you look like. (Sometimes. But only bcuz I don't want to be seen wearing certain stuff.)

You like wearing dresses when you can.

You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.

You love the movies. (Action and humor! :D)

You used to play with dolls as little kid.

You like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it. (Does powder count as make up?)

You like being the star of everything. (Hell no. I'm shy person afterall.)