I LOVE TO READ!

ΩΩΩΩΩ

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I see regular people!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls.

Smile... it confuses people.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

There's a ME in AWESOME but there's also a WE.

I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

Palm Reader: -gasp- "You're going to die. But don't worry, you'll live through it."

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

I can resist anything but temptation.

The best place to hide is in plain sight.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

You laugh at me because I'm insane, I laugh cause you just figured it out.

If your part of the .0000000001 percent of people who does NOT have a MySpace, copy and paste this into your profile.

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. If you agree copy and paste this on your profile.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

Have an American history teacher explain this… if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.

John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.

John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.

Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.

Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.

Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.

Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.

Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.

Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.

Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford'.

Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln' made by 'Ford'.

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.

Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

Now here’s the kicker.

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.

A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Creepy, huh?

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

21. Go back and look for #8.

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.

ACTUAL PRODUCT LABELS:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (But that's when my hair gets wet and I need to dry it!)

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (Teaches children to shoplift at an early age)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (WTF is regular soap?! Can anyone tell me?! I need to know!)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (It's only a suggestion Mom. I don't have to defrost it.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late. Maybe you should put it on top?)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (Naw, the pudding's gonna be Arctic cold!)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But it would save time!)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (No really? I thought it would make me wide

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (Yeah, where can I not use it? Mars?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I'm curious. What's the other use? Suicide? Chopping baby animals up? Help me with this!)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Man, the person who made this must be a millionaire! So when I write an essay and I put Warning: Contains Words, I get an F)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Wow! I did not know that! Someone! Call the newspaper!)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Annabeth : It's hard to believe you can teleport using a stick.

Hermione : This isn't a stick. It's a wand. You're the one to say. A cap that makes you disappear?

Annabeth : It's simple physics. Now tell me what is the science on the splitting of souls.

Hermione : Only after you explain to me the lack of DNA in all of you guys.

Annabeth : After you explain how to make things float with words and a wand.

Hermione : After you explain how a watch can become a giant shield.

Annabeth: After you explain how you fly around on a broomstick.

Hermione: After you explain how you can travel using shadows.

Annabeth: That's not unusual!

Hermione : Neither is Quidditch!

Annabeth : Actually...

Hermione : At least our boyfriends don't sparkle.

Annabeth : Right!

Bella : HEY!

90% percent of girls would cry their hearts out if Justin Bieber or One Direction were to jump off a cliff. If you are one of the 5% to bring popcorn and lawn chairs and chant, "JUMP JUMP JUMP JUMP!", copy and paste this into your profile. If you are one of the 5% to be the ones pushing him off the cliff, copy and paste this into your profile.

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

God created man-THEN had a better idea and created women!

Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over.

The tooth fairy teaches kids it's okay to sell body parts.

I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and stare at it for hours.

It's okay Pluto. I'm not a planet either.

If people were all meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters.

On a scale of 1 to crazy I'm a penguin.

I was going to kill the ugliest person alive but then i thought I'd let your mom live one more day.

Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.

You always get whats coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail.

I have animal magnetism-- when I go outside, squirrels stick to my sleeves.

Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything.

Forecast for tonight: darkness

If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do?

I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

How come when you mix water with flour, you get glue and then when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go?

If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die.

Hell is full of musical amateurs.

I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes.

If you had a life you would stop talking about mine

Don't make me angry, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies

In a world of cheerios, be a frootloop!

Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later.

There is no great genius without a mixture of madness

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me.

Lately the only thing keeping me from becoming a serial killer is my dislike for manual labor.

PMS: Every woman's legal right to be a b*.

We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking

At this moment, you're the oldest you've ever been. Pretty deep huh?

Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

I'm mature and you're not. Nah nah nah nah nah nah!

Eat healthy. Work right. Die anyway.

I have a dream and in it, something eats you.

Its sad your own mom dresses you like that.

Everyone is beautiful on the inside. If you think bones and guts are beautiful.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems

If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the hell are you scared?!

Hey you! Yeah you! No, not you, the other guy. You right there! Do you like tacos?

Making us all wish we were blind:Speedo.

Worst time to have a heart attack; during a game of charades.

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot.

"To be is to do" Socrates "To do is to be" Sartre "Do be do be do." Sinatra

You're a great friend, but if the zombies are chasing us, I'm tripping you.

Automatic doors make me feel like a JEDI!

Jesus saves. Passes to Moses, he shoots, he scores!!

I'm not random! I'm just--HEY LOOK! A SQUIRREL!!!

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is GOING somewhere.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

You don't like me, well it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.

What do I do when I see someone EXTREMELY GORGEOUS? I stare, I smile and when I get tired I put the mirror down!

Facebook is like Jail, you sit around and waste time, you write on walls and you get poked by people you don't know!

Dear math: I am not a therapist. So solve your own problems.

I want to kill the sexiest person alive, but suicides a crime.

I wish I had Dora's parents… They let that girl go everywhere!

I called your boyfriend "gay" and he hit me with his purse!

When a lady had a nice time with a guy, she looks forward to the next moment, and the guy looks forward to the next chick.

I am proud of myself. I finished the puzzle in just 6 months while the box said 2 to 4 years.

I'm not lazy… I'm just conserving energy

Girls spend the first ten years of their lives playing with Barbies, and the next ten years trying to look like one.

No ociffer! I ain't toxercatered! - My dad

Growing old is mandatory . . . growing UP is optional . . .

I decided to burn lots of calories today, so I set a fat kid on fire.

I want to merge My Space, Facebook, You Tube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.

Just because I'm cute doesn't mean I'm harmless

If you've ever threatened to exterminate your younger siblings, Copy/paste this on your profile, then grab the weapon of your choice and follow me.

If the dark side has cookies and the light side has chocolate, does the middle have chocolate cookies? Go Middle!!

People who don't know me think I'm quiet...people who DO know me wish I was.

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

My mom: It smells like manure! My dad's quoted answer: You just don't appreciate the smell of nature! My un-voiced opinion: Nature smells a lot like cow poop.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

There's nothing wrong with talking to random objects. It's when they start to talk back that you need to worry.

Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner.

Chocolate is the answer no matter what the question is.

Wanna hear a joke? Miley Cyrus.

The below statement is true.

The above statement is false.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

I don't get it...boys think girls are so complicated. Haven't they met themselves?

If you're reading this then you're not dead. Good for you.

I ROCK! Guitar hero told me.

I tried being normal, but I didn't like it.

There are two things that are infinite. The universe and human stupidity. And I'm not so sure about the universe.

Flying is not inherently dangerous--crashing is.

The trouble with real life is that there is no background music.

Hey stupid! Your sock is untied...

If my calculations are correct...slinkies plus escalator = EVERLASTING FUN!!

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

I didn't slap you, I high-fived your face.

DEATH: the number 1 killer in the U.S...tell your friends.

Three hundred sixty-four days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers. Yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

So what if we act like immature idiots? We're having fun.

When you're in jail, a friend will visit you, a good friend will bail you out, but a best friend will be sitting right next to you saying, "Dang, that was fun! Let's do it again!"

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

I was about to take over the world, but I got distracted when I saw something shiny.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

Being mature is overrated.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it . . .

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me.

Silence is golden . . . duct tape is silver.

Who ever said that words never hurt obviously has never gotten hit by a dictionary.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

When life gives you lemons, ask for the receipt.

If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem!

What hair color do they put down on the driver's licenses of a bald man?

When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear.

I'm not littering . . . just donating to the Earth.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months.

What do we want? PROCRASTINATION! When do we want it? . . . . Next week.

Maybe this world is another planet's hell.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

I used up all my sick days at work so I'm calling in dead.

Be nice to your kids. They choose your nursing home.

Life was much easier when Apple and Blackberry were just fruit.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is that Frisbee getting bigger" And then it hits me.

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

Yes I do use my hairbrush as a microphone and dance around my room in my underwear, thank you very much.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

If at first you don't succeed, change the rules.

Smile: it makes people wonder what you're up to.

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong.

The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you're asleep.

The extinction of the dinosaurs was no accident. Barney came along and they all committed suicide.

Newscasters are the people who say, "Good Evening," then proceed to tell you why it's not.

Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried to slam a revolving door.

Dear America, Since you have unleashed on us the horror that is Miley Cyrus, we have decided to retaliate. Its name is Justin Bieber, and no one will be spared. Sincerely, Canada.

We live in an age where the pizza guy gets to your house before the police do.

I'm not prejudiced! I hate everyone equally!

Flying is simple: Just throw yourself at the ground and miss!

Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run. He hates that.

I swear Mario is a hobo. He wakes up every day in the same clothes, runs around in sewers collecting coins, and to buy what? MUSHROOMS!

Ever noticed that "studying" is "student" and "dying" put together?

Dear Guy-Sitting-Next-To-Me: Yeah, I see you copying me. But jokes on you. I didn't study either.

When I die, friends will go to my funeral, good friends will cry at my funeral, but my best friend will change my Facebook status to "Chillin' With Jesus."

It's always the last place you look... Of course it is! Why the Hades would I look after I already found it?!

Anyone else having trouble getting to Narnia

P.E.M.D.A.S.- Please Excuse My Dope Ass Swag!

when you die in an elevator rember to press the UP! BUTTON

Flying is not inherently dangerous--crashing is.

Be nice to your kids. They choose your nursing home.

Life was much easier when Apple and Blackberry were just fruit.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is that Frisbee getting bigger" And then it hits me.

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

Yes I do use my hairbrush as a microphone and dance around my room in my underwear, thank you very much.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

If at first you don't succeed, change the rules.

Smile: it makes people wonder what you're up to.

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong.

The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you're asleep.

The extinction of the dinosaurs was no accident. Barney came along and they all committed suicide.

Newscasters are the people who say, "Good Evening," then proceed to tell you why it's not.

Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried to slam a revolving door.

Dear America, Since you have unleashed on us the horror that is Miley Cyrus, we have decided to retaliate. Its name is Justin Bieber, and no one will be spared. Sincerely, Canada.

We live in an age where the pizza guy gets to your house before the police do.

I'm not prejudiced! I hate everyone equally!

Flying is simple: Just throw yourself at the ground and miss!

Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run. He hates that.

I swear Mario is a hobo. He wakes up every day in the same clothes, runs around in sewers collecting coins, and to buy what? MUSHROOMS!

Ever noticed that "studying" is "student" and "dying" put together?

Dear Guy-Sitting-Next-To-Me: Yeah, I see you copying me. But jokes on you. I didn't study either.

When I die, friends will go to my funeral, good friends will cry at my funeral, but my best friend will change my Facebook status to "Chillin' With Jesus."

It's always the last place you look... Of course it is! Why the Hades would I look after I already found it?!

Anyone else having trouble getting to Narnia?

if electricty comes from electrons does that mean morality comes from morons

when life hands you lemons throw them back and say make your own dang lemonade!

P.E.M.D.A.S.- Please Excuse My Dope Ass Swag!

when you die in an elevator rember to press the UP! BUTTON

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

God created man-THEN had a better idea and created women!

Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over.

The tooth fairy teaches kids it's okay to sell body parts.

I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and stare at it for hours.

It's okay Pluto. I'm not a planet either.

If people were all meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters.

On a scale of 1 to crazy I'm a penguin.

I was going to kill the ugliest person alive but then i thought I'd let your mom live one more day.

Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.

You always get whats coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail.

I have animal magnetism-- when I go outside, squirrels stick to my sleeves.

Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything.

Forecast for tonight: darkness

If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do?

I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

How come when you mix water with flour, you get glue and then when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go?

If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die.

Hell is full of musical amateurs.

I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes.

If you had a life you would stop talking about mine

Don't make me angry, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies

In a world of cheerios, be a frootloop!

Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later.

There is no great genius without a mixture of madness

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me.

Lately the only thing keeping me from becoming a serial killer is my dislike for manual labor.

PMS: Every woman's legal right to be a b*.

We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking

At this moment, you're the oldest you've ever been. Pretty deep huh?

Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

I'm mature and you're not. Nah nah nah nah nah nah!

Eat healthy. Work right. Die anyway.

I have a dream and in it, something eats you.

Its sad your own mom dresses you like that.

Everyone is beautiful on the inside. If you think bones and guts are beautiful.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems

If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the hell are you scared?!

Hey you! Yeah you! No, not you, the other guy. You right there! Do you like tacos?

Making us all wish we were blind:Speedo.

Worst time to have a heart attack; during a game of charades.

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot.

"To be is to do" Socrates "To do is to be" Sartre "Do be do be do." Sinatra

You're a great friend, but if the zombies are chasing us, I'm tripping you.

Automatic doors make me feel like a JEDI!

Jesus saves. Passes to Moses, he shoots, he scores!!

I'm not random! I'm just--HEY LOOK! A SQUIRREL!!!

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is GOING somewhere.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

You don't like me, well it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.

What do I do when I see someone EXTREMELY GORGEOUS? I stare, I smile and when I get tired I put the mirror down!

Facebook is like Jail, you sit around and waste time, you write on walls and you get poked by people you don't know!

Dear math: I am not a therapist. So solve your own problems.

I want to kill the sexiest person alive, but suicides a crime.

I wish I had Dora's parents… They let that girl go everywhere!

I called your boyfriend "gay" and he hit me with his purse!

When a lady had a nice time with a guy, she looks forward to the next moment, and the guy looks forward to the next chick.

I am proud of myself. I finished the puzzle in just 6 months while the box said 2 to 4 years.

I'm not lazy… I'm just conserving energy

Girls spend the first ten years of their lives playing with Barbies, and the next ten years trying to look like one.

No ociffer! I ain't toxercatered! - My dad

Growing old is mandatory . . . growing UP is optional . . .

I decided to burn lots of calories today, so I set a fat kid on fire.

I want to merge My Space, Facebook, You Tube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.

Just because I'm cute doesn't mean I'm harmless

If you've ever threatened to exterminate your younger siblings, Copy/paste this on your profile, then grab the weapon of your choice and follow me.

If the dark side has cookies and the light side has chocolate, does the middle have chocolate cookies? Go Middle!!

People who don't know me think I'm quiet...people who DO know me wish I was.

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

My mom: It smells like manure! My dad's quoted answer: You just don't appreciate the smell of nature! My un-voiced opinion: Nature smells a lot like cow poop.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

There's nothing wrong with talking to random objects. It's when they start to talk back that you need to worry.

Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner.

Chocolate is the answer no matter what the question is.

Wanna hear a joke? Miley Cyrus.

The below statement is true.

The above statement is false.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

I don't get it...boys think girls are so complicated. Haven't they met themselves?

If you're reading this then you're not dead. Good for you.

I ROCK! Guitar hero told me.

I tried being normal, but I didn't like it.

There are two things that are infinite. The universe and human stupidity. And I'm not so sure about the universe.

Flying is not inherently dangerous--crashing is.

The trouble with real life is that there is no background music.

Hey stupid! Your sock is untied...

If my calculations are correct...slinkies plus escalator = EVERLASTING FUN!!

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

I didn't slap you, I high-fived your face.

DEATH: the number 1 killer in the U.S...tell your friends.

Three hundred sixty-four days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers. Yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

So what if we act like immature idiots? We're having fun.

You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium. My work here is done.

If u have ever dun anything stupid in your life copy and paste this into your profile (why haven't i seen this more?)

If Wal-mart is lowering their prices everyday, how come the store isn't free yet?

I ran with scissors, and lived!

Don't steal. The government hates the competition

Education is important. School, however, is another matter

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If your heart was really broken . . . you'd be dead so shut up.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and was too stubborn to ask for directions.

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!

If you think that people who don't like PJO are crazy/stupid/losers, copy this into your profile.(Hades yeah!!)

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Today, we mourn the passing of an old friend by the name of Common Sense.

Common Sense lived a long life, but died from heart failure at the brink of the Millennium. No one really knows how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools; hospitals, homes, factories and offices, helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness.

For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in from rain, the early bird gets the worm and life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and it's okay to come in second.

A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including feminism, body piercing, whole language and new math.

But his health declined when he became infected with the "if-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus. In recent decades, his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of overbearing federal legislation.

He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers and enlightened auditors. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero tolerance policies; when reports were heard of six year old boys charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; when a teen was suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch; when a teacher was fired for reprimanding an unruly student. It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but couldn't inform the parent when a female student is pregnant or wants an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy Scouts to professional sports.

As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments, regarding questionable regulations for asbestos, low-flow toilets, smart guns, the nurturing of Prohibition Laws and mandatory air bags.

Finally, when told that the homeowners association restricted exterior furniture only to that which enhanced property values, he breathed his last.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son Reason. His three stepbrothers survive him: Rights, Tolerance and Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone