Heeeeey~

So, writing this assuming that people actually like my stories, here are some things you probably need to know if you're gonna read my stuff.

I like harems, apparently. If I have a character that I like a lot, I'll pair them up with everyone that I like from that fandom.

I also am in love with gay pairings so there ya go.

About my stories, I probably won't get everythig correct so I'll bullsh*t some stuff, if that offends anyone sorry.

I hope you like my stories, and hopefully I'll be good at writing. That's about all the warnings I can think of, I'll probably come back to add stuff later so for now just sit back, relax, and let me fuck up your mind with my stories :3

Also, I'm a bit eccentric, so expect some crazy!~

other than that, have fun I suppose ;3

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something

right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be

stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the

fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those

who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he

will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12

people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman alive." the woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

"Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot."

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

Best friends are the people that know all about and still put up with you!

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone

Why are the Force and ductape the same? — Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.

Don't hate yourself in the morning — sleep till noon.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

Don't frown, even when you’re sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile.

You have to have darkness for a dawn to come.

Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.

The town was so dull that when the tide went out it refused to come back in.

Tell the truth and run.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

Music is love in search of word.

Sincerity is everything. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for member.

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300C.

The Russians used a pencil.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more.

Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?

There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and anime/manga for the rest of the day.

Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

If I had something good to say, I would have already said it.

Employee of the month is a good example of how someone can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

Never knock on Death's door — ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that.

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening.

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

When angry, count to ten; when very angry, swear.

Education is important; school however, is another matter.

Boys are like trees - they take 100 years to grow up.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!

Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile, and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

I'm going to live forever, or die trying!

The only reason some people get lost in thought, is because it is unfamiliar territory.

Always proofread to make sure you don’t any words out.

Love me, or hate me; personally I could care less

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes.

An apple a day, keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" — a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and freak slap that mother f*cker upside the head.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Who ever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Love your enemies! It really pisses them off.

Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it.

None of that sissy crap. Are you tired of those 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of truths to our friendship.

1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard.

2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused, I will use little words.

7. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. When you are told "well you deserve better" by others, I will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

This is my oath. I pledge it until the end. "Why?" you may ask. Because you are my friend. Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can truly feel its warmth.

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?

"Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation, we'd all run around in a dark room munching pills and listening to repetitive music."

"Somewhere people are plotting against you and I am probably among them."

"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."

"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

"You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now!"

"Boldly Going Nowhere"

"Those who think they know everything, annoy those of us that do"

"Don't criticize my mess unless you'd like to become part of it."

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

When life gives you lemons, give them back and DEMAND CHOCOLATE.

When life gives you lemons, give them back and demand cash.

When life gives you lemons, Demand a re-fund.

Death is God's way of telling you not to be a wise guy.

It's tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?

If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

You called me a bitch, bitch is another word for dog, a dog barks, bark is on trees, trees are part of nature, & nature is beautiful. You just called me beautiful, thanks for the compliment.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Mine is just better.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

Specify that your drive-through order is to go. It confuses people.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental issues.

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and plot your revenge.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance?

The tiger can't change his spots. No, wait, he did! Good for him!

If swimming is so good for your figure, then explain whales!

Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?!