hi I'm coffeethief (bet u never guessed it!!!) but i go by Al...no I'm not a guy I'm a girl

Sooo you wanna know about me? Wellllll im 5"5 (no don't listen 2 my brother...I'm not short he's just super tall for his age, he's 15 and he's 6"2)

I have curly, messy dark chocolate brown hair with magenta highlights

Chocolate brown eyes

I have a nose piercing

planning on getting more ear piercings

I'm Indian

I'm 20 years old

I'm majoring in psychology

I live in black clothes and if mom allowed me I would go all emo but she'd freak out if I did so I'm keeping myself in check (pity) I hate skirts and anything frilly and pink (yech) I prefer action figures to dolls, I love to read and go for super long walks while listening to my ipod on full volume.

I love the backstreet boys, Nickelback, Jon Bon Jovi etc etc

(my personality matches with Thalia Grace's 4m Percy Jackson)

My fav characters from Percy Jackson are:

Percy (Obv)

Nico!!!!!

Thalia

Travis!!!

Apollo

Hermes

Leo

and last but not least (drum beats)

LUKE!!!!!

my fav quotes are:

1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

4. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?

7. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

8. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

9. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

10. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

11. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

12. He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.

14. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

15. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

16. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

17. Pardon my driving, I am reloading.

18. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how living remains so popular?

19. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

20. It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial costs and blamed it on the high cost of living.

21. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

22. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

23. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

24. You can't have everything, where would you put it?

25. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.

26. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

27. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

28. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

29. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

30. Shin: A device for finding furniture

31. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

32. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

33. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

34. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

35. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

36. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

37. When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

38. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile.

This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you cried post this in your profile.

Juliannes clothes

Lillianne's clothes

COPY AND PASTE THIS ON YOUR PROFILE IF YOU HATE RACISM!!
A white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up.
He then said,
"Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK,
when I grew up I was BLACK,
when I'm sick I'm BLACK,
when I go in the sun I'm BLACK,
when I'm cold I'm BLACK,
when I die I'll be BLACK.
But you sir,
when you are born you're PINK,
when you grow up you're WHITE,
when you're sick, you're GREEN,
when you go in the sun you turn RED,
when you're cold you turn BLUE,
and when you die you turn PURPLE.
and you have the nerve to call me colored?"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away..

Put this in your profile
if you love to laugh!

(Put this on your page if u like music)
(o) music

Olny srmat poelpe can raed this. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, It deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the fsrit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh, and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this psas it on!!

A friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much weirdo?"

A good friend will help you up when you fall. A best friend is the one that trips you.

A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "RUN, FOREST RUN!"

A friend wipes your tears when your rejected. A best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your a jerk isn't it?"

A friend will visit you in jail. A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS FREAKING AWESOME'!!
A friend will always be like "well you deserve better". A best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days".

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" That's a really good question...I wonder...

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who the heck is drinking my water!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with

I call things as I see them; If I didn't see them, I make them up!

Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

"I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY, I ENJOY EVERY SECOND OF IT"

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and tell life to make its own dang lemonade

PERCY JACKSON FUNNY QUOTES

“Let us find the dam snack bar,” Zoë said. “We should eat while we can.”

Grover cracked a smile. “The dam snack bar?”

Zoë blinked. “Yes. What is funny?”

“Nothing,” Grover said, trying to keep a strait face. “I could use some dam French fries.”

Even Thalia smiled at that. “And I need to use the dam restroom.”

“I do not understand.”

“I want to use the dam water fountain,” Grover said.

“And…” Thalia tried to catch her breath. “I need to buy a dam T-shirt.”

-Zoë, Grover, and Thalia, The Titan’s Curse

Ever had a flying burrito hit you? Well it’s deadly, right up there with cannonballs and grenades. –Percy, The Titan’s Curse

He fished out his acorns and threw them onto the sand, then played his pipes. They rearranged themselves in a pattern that made no sense to me, but Grover looked concerned.

“That’s us,” he said. “Those five nuts right there.”

“Which one is me?” I asked.

“The little deformed one,” Zoë suggested.

-Grover, Percy, and Zoë, The Titan’s Curse

“Apollo?” I guessed, because I figured nobody else could make a haiku that bad.

“I’m incognito. Call me Fred.”

“A god named Fred?”

-Percy and Apollo, The Titan’s Curse

“Love conquers all,” Aphrodite promised. “Look at Helen and Paris. Did they let anything come between them?”

“Didn’t they start the Trojan War and get thousands of people killed?”

-Aphrodite and Percy, The Titan’s Curse

“He looked… nervous. He told his monsters to spare me. He wanted to tell me something.”

“Probably, ‘Hi, Annabeth! Sit here with me and watch while I tear you friends apart. It’ll be fun!”

-Annabeth and Percy, The Battle of the Labyrinth

“They asked me a lot of questions about you. I played dumb.”

“Was it hard?”

-Rachel and Annabeth, The Battle of the Labyrinth

We only came close to dying six or seven times, which I thought was pretty good. –Percy, The Sea of Monsters.

“Wow,” Thalia muttered. “Apollo is hot.”

“He’s the sun god,” I said.

“That’s not what I meant.”

Thalia and Percy, The Titan’s Curse

It seemed weird calling a teenager ‘sir’ but I’d learned to be careful with immortals. They tended to get offended easily. Then they blew stuff up. –Percy, The Titan’s Curse

You deal with mythological stuff for a few years, you learn that paradises are usually places where you get killed. –Percy, The Battle of the Labyrinth

I nodded, looking at Rachel with respect. “You hit the Lord of the Titans in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush.” –Percy, The Battle of the Labyrinth

“It is a day when things…stir.”

The way he said it, stirring sounded absolutely sinister-like it should be a first-degree felony, not something you did to cookie dough.

“Okay,” Annabeth said, glaring at the centaur. “Thank you, Captain Sunshine.”

-Chiron and Annabeth, The Lost Hero

“It’ll be dangerous,” Nyssa warned him. “Hardship, monsters, terrible suffering”

“Oh.” Suddenly Leo didn’t look so excited. Then he remembered everyone was watching. “I mean… Oh, cool! Suffering? I love suffering! Let’s do this.”

-Nyssa and Leo, The Lost Hero

Suddenly there was a collective gasp. Everyone stared at Piper like she’d just exploded. –Piper, The Lost Hero

“Since the first Great Prophecy predicted the Titan War, we can guess the second Great Prophecy will predict something at least that bad.”

“Or worse,” Chiron murmured.

Maybe he didn’t mean everyone to overhear, but they did. The campfire immediately turned a dark purple.

-Rachel and Chiron, The Lost Hero.

“The Senate and the People of Rome. Though why you would burn that on you own arm, I don’t know. Unless you had a really harsh Latin teacher…” –Annabeth, The Lost Hero.

Even that horrible zit at the base of her nose, which she’d had for so many days she’d started to call it Bob, had disappeared. –Piper, The Lost Hero

“I can’t summon any more gas! Wow, that came out wrong. I mean the burning kind.” –Leo, The Lost Hero

“Let’s sit.”

Piper did better than that. She collapsed.

–Thalia and Piper, The Lost Hero

They were standing on the Aphrodite cabin’s table, and Piper had one foot in Drew’s pizza. –Piper, The Lost Hero

Lacy was bouncing up and down like she was trying to achieve liftoff. –Piper, The Lost Hero

A few other kids started to grin, as if they were enjoying the different colors Drew’s face was turning.

-Piper, The Lost Hero

We careened out of the Lincoln Tunnel and back into the rainstorm, people and monsters tossed around the bus. –Percy, The Lightning Thief

“You have offended the gods. You shall die.”

“I liked you better as a math teacher,” I told her.

-Mrs. Dodds and Percy, The Lightning Thief

“Braccas meas vescimini!” I yelled.

I wasn’t sure where the Latin came from. I think it meant “Eat my pants!” –Percy, The Lightning Thief

Behind her came two more old ladies: one in a green hat, one in a purple hat. Otherwise they looked exactly like Mrs. Dodds. Triplet demon grandmothers. –Percy, the Lightning Thief

“Hey guys!” Grover yelled somewhere above us. “I think she’s unconscious!”

“Roooaaarrr!”

“Maybe not,” Grover corrected.

-Grover and Medusa, The Lightning Thief

She’d also called me brave…unless she was talking to the catfish. –Percy, The Lightning Thief

“It only works on wild animals.”

“So it would only affect Percy,” Annabeth reasoned.

-Grover and Annabeth, The Lightning Thief

Our English teacher, Dr. Boring (I’m not kidding; that’s his real name), adjusted his glasses and frowned.

-Percy, The Demigod Files

Fortunately he’d shrunk back to normal size, so his hug was like getting hit by a tractor, not the entire farm. –Percy, The Last Olympian

"With great power... comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later." -Nico, The Last Olympian

pIn a way, it's nice to know that there are Greek gods out there, because you have somebody to blame when things go wrong. For instance, when you're walking away from a bus that's just been attacked by monster hags and blown up by lightning, and it's raining on top of everything else, most people might think that's just really bad luck; when you're a half-blood, you understand that some devine force is really trying to mess up your day. -Percy, The Lightning Thief

"Yay!" he said. "Now we can eat peanut butter sandwiches and ride fish ponies! We can fight monsters and see Annabeth and make things go BOOM!"
I hoped he didn't mean all at the same time, but I told him absolutely, we'd have a lot of fun this summer.
— Percy, The Battle of the Labyrinth

“So Zeus sent this magical flying ram with golden wool, which picked them up in Greece and carried them all the way to Colchis in Asia Minor. Well, actually it carried Cadmus. Europa fell off and died along the way, but that's not important."
"It was probably important to her."
-Annabeth and Percy, The Sea of Monsters

Jumping out a window five hundred feet above ground is not usually my idea of fun. Especially when I'm wearing bronze wings and flapping my arms like a duck.
-Percy, The Battle of the Labyrinth

Hades raised an eyebrow. When he sat forward in his throne, shadowy faces appeared in the folds of his black robes, faces of torment,as if the garment was stitched of trapped souls from the Fields of Punishment, trying to get out. The ADHD part of me wondered, off-task, whether the rest of his clothes were made the same way. What horrible things would you have to do in your life to get woven into Hades' underwear?
- Hades and Percy, The Lightning Thief

"You're a half-blood, too?"
"Shhh! Just announce it to the world, how about?"
"Okay. Hey, everybody! These two aren't human! They're half Greek god!...They don't seem to care."
-Rachel and Annabeth, The Battle of the Labyrinth

The cafe windows wrapped all the way around the observation floor, which gave us a beautiful panoramic view of the skeleton army that had come to kill us.
-Percy, The Titan's Curse

"How did you die?"
"We er...drowned in a bathtub."
"All three of you?"
"It was a big bathtub."
-Ciron and Percy, The Lightning Theif

"Don't feel bad, I'm usually about to die."
-Percy, The Battle of the Labyrinth

"So, you wrecked Alcatraz Island, made Mount St. Helens explode, and displaced half a million people, but at least you're safe."
"Yep, that pretty much covers it."
-Annabeth and Percy, The Battle of the Labyrinth

Yes, I hit like a girl. Hitting like a man doesn't do anything.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more.

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

You Know You're a Book Addict If:

You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.

Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading.

You write fanfictions about the book.

You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read your favorite books.

You accidentally call everyone by the character's names.

Everything reminds you of the book.

You quote random lines all the time.

You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't.

You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class.

You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod.

You've got a book memorized. You've read a book more than five times. (THE BLADE OF SHATTERED HOPE!

You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days.

You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like.

You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional.

You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional.

Your idol is a character from a book. (TICK!)

I am a book addict and proud of it!!!

YOUR GUY SIDE:

x You love hoodies.

x You love jeans.

x Dogs are better than cats.

It's hilarious when people get hurt.

x You've played with/against boys on a team.

x Shopping is torture.

x Sad movies suck.

You own/ed an X-Box.

x Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.

At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.

x You own/ed a DS, PS3 or Sega.

x You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers

xYou watch sports on TV.

x You own like a trillion baseball caps.

You like going to high school football games.

You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.

x Baggy pants are cool to wear.

It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.

x Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.

x You love to go crazy and not care what people think.

x Sports are fun

x Talk with food in your mouth.

WHAT TO DO IN AN EXAM YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL ANYWAYS:

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when he/she's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "To poop with this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go get a drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how awsome/pretty the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

34. Fake and emotional breakdown. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". Rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

42. Dress like the professor.

43. Cross-Dress.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.'

- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing!

- Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

- The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

- He who laughs last didn't get it.

-The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

- When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

-Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

- Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking

You know you live in 2011 when...

1) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen-name or MySpace

4) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

When life gives you lemons...

Genetically alter them into SUPER_LEMONS and conquer the world.

make raspberry juice and laugh at the world while they try to figure out howyou did it.

Make a super biofuel and end global warming.

plant them and help stop global warming in your own way.

Turn them into offerings for Ninja who will solve all your problems with the silence of feather and the steel of fallen samurai.

Give em to your best friend after painting em orange and tellling em it's a new kind of super sweet orange. (would that work?)

wait a bit and make sure no ones looking before chucking 'em into life's house.

Cut 'em in half and squeeze 'em in someones eyes before running away

burn 'em and hope God loves lemons.

don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?! Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give you lemons! Do you know who I am?! I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down! And i'll burn it! With The Lemons!

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents mom & dad

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Would be sittin next to you sayinin man... That was awsesome!

FAKE FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget its yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will get the whole crowd that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: walk in without knocking like they live there.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk bad to the person who talks bad about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Would ignore this.
REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it.

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for a while.
REAL FRIENDS: Are forever!

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

I walk in the rain- others just get wet! Copy and paste if you walk in the rain!

If you love Fanfiction.net, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile

Copy and paste this to your profile if every time your friends ask you what you did this morning you reply with something about being on the computer.

Copy and paste this to your profile if you love thunder storms.

Copy and paste this to your profile if you think that the backspace key is one of the best inventions ever.

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in you're heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"

My name is Tiffany, I am three, My eyes are swollen,I cannot see, I must be stupid,I must be bad, What else could have made my dad so mad? I wish I were better,

I wish I weren't ugly,Then maybe my mommy would still want to hug me. I can't do a wrong, I can't speek at all or else I'm locked up, all day long.

When I'm awake I'm all alone the house is all dark, my folk arent at home when my mommy does come home, I'll try and be nice, so maybe I'll just get, one whipping tonight.

I just heard a car, my daddy is back from Charlie's bar.

I press my self againts the wall. I try to hide, from his evil eyes, I'm so afraid now, I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping, calls me ugly words he says its my fault he suffers at work. He slaps and hits me and yells at more, I finally get free and run to the door.

He's already locked it, and I start to bawl, he takes me and throws me against the hard wall I fall to the floor, with my bones nearly broken and my daddy continues, with more bad words spoken,

"I'm sorry!", I scream, but its now much to late his face has been twisted, into an unimaginable shape the hurt and the pain, again and again

O please God have mercy, O please let it end! And he finnaly stops, and heads for the door, while I lay there motionles. Brawled on the floor. My name is Tiffany

I am three, tonight my daddy murdered me.

If you read this and don't pass it on I pray for your forgivness because you would have to be one heartless person, to not be effected by this Poem, and because you are effected do something about it! Si I'll ask you to do, is pass it on!

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE!

If you love Jesus and believe he saved you from your sins when he died on the cross, copy this onto your profile.

I was walking around in a store. I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back saying
"I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me
"I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."
"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "What if we checked again, just in case you do have enough money?''
"OK" he said "I hope that I have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added "I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mommy can give it to my sister. He heard me!''"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local newspaper article: 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car, where there was one young lady and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to recover from the coma.
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.
2) Ignore it as if it never touched you. have a heart.

"This is a pen." -Percy when Chiron hands him Ripetide

"Is it me, or is it raining cows?" -Grover after the Minitor throws a cow at their car

"Why are you taking your pants off?" -Percy

"Ha! She would squash you like a bug." -Grover on Annabeth

"That's a sword, that's a sword!" -Luke

"Oh, you guys take camp way to seriously..." -Percy

"I always lose...maybe we're both wrong." -Percy

"You're being followed!" -Grover

"Journior protector." "Was that really nesciassary?" -Percy and Grover

"Needless to say, she hates it there...It's hot, he's a wierdo..." -Luke

"Aww! Guys! I can't pee with her watching me!" -Grover

"Those are working class Americans!" -Grover

"(Kisses Medusa's head) Eww...That's nasty..." -Grover

"OK guys, always put the eights and never the tens..." -Grover

"Um, on a cocktail waitress or a showgirl...we should start there!" -Grover

"We're heading to the chapel! We're getting married! Wait, which one did I propose to?" -Grover

"That's how you get out of a casiono! That it how your drive!" -Grover

"OK, we won't DIE and come back..." -Grover

"Great, they smell goat..." -Grover

"Or what? What will you do? I'm already in hell..." -Pershephone

"NO! Stick to the Mick Jager thing...it works for you!" -Grover

That was some nice demigod driving, girl. -Grover

Let's get out of here before Homeland Security shows up. -Annabeth

I'm going crazy! Ohhh, I'm going crazy! I need medicine. -Percy

Come on, man. That's my mother right there. Have some respect. -Percy

Cool... Very cool. -Annabeth

Ooh, double team. -Grover

Chiron, you still got that wheelchair? He'll need it. -Luke

Shouldn't we stop her? She's killing him. Grover

Are you kidding? This is the best part. Chiron

Percy Jackson and the Olympians Quotes:

"Go chase a donut!" - Percy Jackson

"I wasn't sure where the Latin came from, i think it meant 'Eat my pants!'" - Percy Jackson

"Your pretty smug Lord Ares, for a guy who runs from Cupid statues." -Percy Jackson

"New lesson, class. Most monsters will vaporize when sliced with a celestial bronze sword. This change is perfectly normal, and will happen to you right now if you don't BACK OFF!" - Percy Jackson

"You drool when you sleep." - Annabeth Chase

I nodded, looking at Rachel with respect. "You hit the Lord of the Titans in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush." - Percy Jackson

"Humans see what they want to see." - Chiron

"Knowing too much of your future is never a good thing." - Chiron

"Remake the world, a little at a time, each in your own corner of the world." - Someone from the Battle of the Labyrinth

"Wow," Thalia muttered. "Apollo is hot."
"He's the sun god," I said
"That's not what I meant."
— Thalia Grace and Percy Jackson

"Die human! Die silly polluting nasty person!" - Grover Underwood

"That's right, you smelly bucket of nose drool!" Percy Jackson

She's (Sally's) funny that way, celebrating special occasions with blue food. I think it's her way of saying anything is possible. Percy can pass seventh grade. Waffles can be blue. Little miracles like that.-Percy Jackson

"With great power, comes the great need to take a nap. Wake me up later."- Nico di Angelo

"Beacause I'm your friend Seaweed Brain. Any more stupid questions?"- Annabeth Chase

"Let us find the dam snack bar."-Zoe Nightshade

"Don't I get a kiss for luck? Its kind of a tradition, right?" - Percy Jackson

"Well...sure good to be together again.
Arguing. Almost dying. Abject terror. Oh, look. It's our floor." -Grover

Jumping out a window five hundred feet above ground is not usually my idea of fun. Especially when I'm wearing bronze wings and flapping my arms like a duck." -Percy Jackson

"The cafe windows wrapped all the way around the observation floor, which gave us a beautiful panoramic view of the skeleton army that had come to kill us." - Percy Jackson

"Now, if you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it's right up there with grenades and cannonballs." - Percy Jackson

The Percy Jackson pleadge:
I promise to remember Percy
whenever Im at sea
I promise to remember Annabeth
whenever a spider comes at me
I promise to protect nature
for Grover's sake of course
I promise to remember Luke
when my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Chiron
whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''
I promise to remember Tyson
whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side
I promise to remember Thalia
whenever a friend is scared of heights
I promise to remember Clarisse
whenever I see someone that gives me a fright
I promise to remember Bianca
whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother
I promise to remember Nico
whenever I see someone who doesnt get along with others
I promise to remember Zoe
whenever I watch the stars
I promise to remembe Rachel
whenever a limo passes my car.
yes I promise to remember PJO
wherever I may go

my copied drawing of luke. original credits go to original artist

Jason Grace :

Travis Stoll :

Connor Stoll :

Leo Valdez:

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in the tiune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost then copy and paste this in your profile

If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says... "If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

Arden's eyes in 'Nico's weird friends':

Arden: =0&ndsp=19&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:0

Nico Di Angelo:

Alex:

Lance: