bahamallama ding-dongs rulz

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Joined 05-09-08, id: 1572279, Profile Updated: 09-28-08

Author has written 2 stories for Maximum Ride.

OK, so bahamallama Ding-Dongs rule. Why, you might be wondering, is my name bahamallama ding-dongs rule if its an alcoholic drink found in a gay bar in NY? Well, so am I.

OK. so heres the deal. I am a person. I love maximum ride. I am generally happy but my friends think i might be turning goth. I can play the start of stronger on the keyboard even though i am going to play electric guitar. I have 6 pets including a sister. I love the world. I love trees. I am a tom boy and can not see the point in romance. Kissing in my eyes is just another way to swap spit as well as drinking from others glasses and talking to a very annoying (and nerdy) person who spits while talking. Most importantly, i need a life. Really bad. the fact that I'm writing this is proof enough.

I have a minor (HUGE!!) obsession with the pope... whenever i have english, (we are studying newspapers,) i cut out a pic of the pope. Whenever i can write a story, the pope is in it. I photoshopped a picture of the pope. I have a collection of pictures of the pope on mah pc. I have a characture of the pope. My avatar, is the pope. Long (not really) story short, I love the pope. (and his POPEMOBILE!!)

People i am in love with:

Andy Lee (that model is NOT good enough for him)

Hamish Blake (he is soooo funny)

Jared (from the iphone...)

Pikachu (did i spell that right?)

JASPER CULLEN!

Oskan

Fang

TEDDY GEIGER!!

El Mundo, The dude who wrote this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvkHIZg_954

Jason Mraz

Denny Crane (who couldn't love a s(too rude)x crazed victim of mad cow disease?)

Cep

And of course... THE POPE!!

People i would turn gay for:

Pamela Anderson (for obvious reasons)

The pope!! (I'm a girl, how does that even work..?)

My FAVOURITE quote(s)

Man is the only animal smart enough to build the empire state building, but the only animal dumb enough to jump off it.

Life is not about how many breaths you take, but about the moments that take your breath away.

Do NOT get her started on Tja(info i cannot disclose.) (personal joke...)

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and sit back and let the world wonder how you did it

When life gives you lemons, throw them back at the world and scream 'i dont want ur damn lemons!'

THINGS TO DO ON AN ELEVATOR

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

(copied from Aqua279)

WAYS TO MAKE SURE YOUR STILL INSANE

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy"

Ask your dog if it's comfortable with it's name. Repeat with cat, until people ask if you're alright.

As often as possible, skip rather than walk .

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go"

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme .

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because your not in the mood.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! they're loose!!"

(Also from Aqua279)

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If your math teacher has a rancid smell in his class...you know the rest.

If you have a mind that you're sure no one will understand, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten mad about a guy saying that you can't do something becuase your agirl, put this in your profile and add your name to this list.gabbi289, TempestStormBFFofMax, Aqua279, bahamallama_ding-dongs_rulz

If you love Steve, copy this into your profile.

92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts off at the others.

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

('')_('')
Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world (Fanfiction.net) domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies)

Why America has some issues

1. Only in
America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places
in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores
make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their
prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the
front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers,
large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave
both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in
America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
and put
our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use
answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't
miss a
call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8.
Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
packages
of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to
describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics'
meaning
'bloodsucking creatures'

10. Only in America...do they have
drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

(copied and pasted from Aqua279)

15 Things to do when your in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15.Grap a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

(copied)

Stop the Pairing Wars!

By copying and pasting this in your profile, you vow to respect other pairings and the people that like them.

You shalt not insult them, explain why they can't be together, or say that they would rather be with someone else.

You shalt have your opinions but shalt not insult pairings. You shalt avoid them if you hate them.

You shalt keep an open mind about stories even if you despise the pairing.

You shalt paste this in your profile.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

Fang: 2 avian 98 human 100 hott!

If you are obsessively, uncontrolably, in love with Fang, post this in your profile

If Faxness is one of your obsessions, post this in your profile.

If you love the whole blind, pyro, mutant, baker thing about Iggy, post this in your profile.

Olny 55 pepole otu fo 100 cna raed tihs. Cna yuo?

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. (And cracks. And desks. And chairs. And loose floorboards. And door frames. And air. And...)(I'm worse than Bella, really.)

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile (The teacher always said "Don't lean back in your chair". But Did I listen? NO.)

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!

Captain Obvious has also tried predicting the future. Here are a few examples of his predictions.
“Within two to three years the price of stamps will increase by an amount.”