I AM A TRUE TEAM JASPER!

Ten reasons to be team Jasper:

1. He's sensitive to your feelings, literally.

2. He doesn't take his brothers to strip clubs.

3. He fought in the civil war.

4. He didn't kill Bella. (Not totally on board with this one but whatever...)

5. He sparkles.

6. He never left anyone.

7. He showed everyone how to fight.

8. Blonds have more fun.

9. He has an amazing ability to put up with Rosalie.

10. He's just that cool. TEAM JASPER ALWAYS AND FOREVER AMEN!

Things that made me laugh

Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?

If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.

Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run- he hates that!

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious

If you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!

let me write that down in my 'things i dont really give f about' notebook.

yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.

i speak fluent sarcasm.

are yhu stoned
or just stupid.!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important; school however, is another matter.

I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?

There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

People say the devil is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.

I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

I do not deny everything!

Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.

Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

The road to success is always under construction.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape

Don't take life to serously, no one gets out alive anyway

I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!

SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...

If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends

Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do

Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died

Everyone Is Entitled To Their Own Opinion, It Just That Your's Is Stupid

Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain

Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet!

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

"Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for."

"Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you."

"If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words."

Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads :P

I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side

95 of teens would cry if they saw Miley Cyrus at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you are in the 5 that would sit there eating popcorn and yelling "DO A FLIP!!"

First Dynamite, then Firework, now Grenade? What's next, Nuclear Bomb? (you know like the songs:P )

If Robert Pattison said "Jump off a bridge" 99 percent of all females would do it. If your part of the 1% still alive and would push HIM off the bridge so he can see how he likes it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever pushed on a door that said "PULL" copy and paste this on to your homepage!!
92% of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch decided breathing wasn't cool!!
Put this in your profile if you would be one of the 8% laughing histarically in the background!!"

IF YOU’VE BEEN ON THE COMPUTER FOR HOURS ON END, READING NUMEROUS FANFICTIONS, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, Vampiregal22,Edward-Lover1, SPOONS Secret Agent Alice, Golden Eyed Vampire, vampgurl15,LxiPattz, EdandBell4ever, VeggieGirl15, Alice'sGrandTheftAuto, Kiki-Jo, Jasper's Girl 4life

You know you live in 2011 when...
1.) you accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) you haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3.) the reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have a screen name or a myspace.
4.) you'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the tv.
6.) your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) you read this list, & keep nodding and smiling.
8.) as you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) and you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) you actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5.
11.) and now you're laughing at your stupidity.
12.) Put this on your fan fic page if you got owned, and you know you did.

Cullens Go to Therapy

Chapter 4: Dr. Pazzo's Outfit(imagine the tunic in white)

Mixing Fate with Fantasy

Carlie's Magazine Pics:

Allure:

Vogue:

Elle:

Cullen's Part outfits:

Tanya and Edward's outfits:

Bella and the Girls outfits:

CTUAL PRODUCT LABELS THAT SCARE ME:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (awww that was my favorite time of the day to dry my hair)

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (as apposed to what exactly)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (these people are genius)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (to late)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." ( really I would have never guessed)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." ( really I thought i could save time)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (how many 2 year olds do you see on the road, cuz i know i do)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and i was planning to drive after taking this)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as apposed to where, space?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now hbw many accidents did they have before they wrote this one)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (and i was planning to gived that to my couzin with nut alergies, darn)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (someone got paid paid big bucks for this)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (kids all over have just got their dreams crushed)

On a Korean kitchen knives:"Do not put in children" (something must have gone wrong in the translation...)

Did you know...

Kissing is healthy.

Bananas are good for period pain.

It's good to cry.

Chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

Lying is actually unhealthy.

You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

It's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.

89 percent of guys want you to make the first move.

It's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.

Chocolate will make you feel better.

Most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

A good friend never judges.

A good foundation will hide a hickeys...not that you have any.

Boys aren't worth your tears.

We all love surprises.

Now...make a wish.

Wish REALLY hard!!

WISH WISH WISH!!

Your wish has just been recieved.

Copy and paste into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...your wish will be granted.