Hi! I am a newly 17-year-old geek (as of September 16th), birdwatcher, amateur artist, paleontologist-in-training, and a massive fan of Primeval, Star Trek (I nearly wet my pants about six times watching Into Darkness because it was so awesome (note: Awesome, not good) and there were so many references to the original Star Trek, and because XXL drinks really are larger in volume than my stomach), Stargate: Universe (and to a lesser extent the other SG shows and movies), Star Wars, Dungeons&Dragons, and the authors John Scalzi, Brandon Sanderson, Rick Riordan, and Tamora Pierce. Obviously, I practically worship JRRT as well. I also enjoy speculative science, especially speculative geology and biology. As for my screen name--it's an in-joke. Long story; involving two pencils, a sheet of paper, a movie, my little brother's head, my left buttock, and a clementine.

Things I absolutely love:

Star Trek: The Next Generation and Deep Space Nine.

Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan.

The Borg (pre-Voyager nerfing)

Klingons. Worf vs. a whole pile of Jem'Hadar; does more really need to be said?

Everything that Brandon Sanderson, Rick Riordan, John Scalzi, and Tolkein have ever written.

Shakespeare comedies (especially the Comedy of Errors).

Primeval.

Stargate: Universe.

Tamora Pierce's Protector of the Small series.

D&D (the game, editions 1 and 3.5 only, not including novels and associated products but including my collection of genuine bone dice)

Star Wars (original trilogy)

The Avengers movies

The X-men movies (except First Class), because raw acting talent.

The LOTR movies

David Tennant, Tom Baker, and Christopher Eccleston

The Daleks. EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!!!!! EX-TER-MIN-AAAAAATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doctor Who in general

Sherlock

Michael Dorn, Benedict Cumberbatch, George Takei, Sir Patrick Stewart, and Sir Ian McKellen.

Smaug. Does more really need to be said?

Things I like:

Stargate: SG-1 (great characters, decent plot, howling mess of a setting)

Star Trek: Into Darkness (great acting, god-awful plot)

Most other Trek movies.

Tamora Pierce's other work.

Star Trek: TOS and Enterprise.

Agents of SHIELD

Thor 2. Great acting, especially Loki and Malekith (although Thor, despite being written into a very pretty box, is no slouch), but paced too fast and choppy editing. Also, the svartalfn need a better motivation than "DESTROY THE UNIVERSE". Still...Ninth Doctor tries to exterminate the universe? Lots of fun.

Things I'm meh about:

Eragon (great characters (with the glaring exception of the title character), mess of a setting, Plot From Hell)

Star Trek: Voyager (although if the Seven/Janeway shippers had had their way, it would've been better)

Stargate: Atlantis

Star Trek: Nemesis (awful movie, but great acting).

Primeval: New World (plot is a mess, acting is hit-and-miss, characters are hit-and-miss)

Day of the Doctor. Lots of Whovian fun, Zygons (yay!), David Tennant (yay!) and Tom Baker (triple yay!), but piece of crap plotline. I mean, would it have really killed Steven Moffat to write a story that didn't completely wreck canon for the sake of his own ego????? Seriously, and I thought that the Sue-ifying of River Song was bad...

Things I don't like:

Orson Scott Card

Star Trek (2009 movie)

Star Wars prequel trilogy

Mastiff (by Tamora Pierce). *fan rage* WHY DID SHE HAVE TO KILL TUNSTALL??????????? */fan rage*

Twilight. Dude, Sparkly Eddie's a sexually abusive creep, the plot makes no sense, and the poodle is a pedophile. The entire series creeps me out worse than Brussels sprouts.

KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!!:

Star Wars Christmas Special (This is one of those Things that Should Not Be)

Eragon movie

Percy Jackson movie and its sequel

Left Behind. Because I don't like fundamentalism much anyway, but this was really exceptionally awful, to the point that I returned it to the library early (which I NEVER do)

Stories (updates on some currently held up/irregular for complicated reasons involving an essay, my computer, my little brother, and a book of logic problems):

Hypothetical sixth season of Primeval (and it is totally unfair how there's no word on an actual season 6):

In case of fire... (complete): As the ARC team deals with freakishly intelligent future crocodiles that kill their victims in an incredibly gruesome fashion, a secret organization plots their doom... The return of April (one of the best femme fatales in recent TV, IMHO--except for Nikita, of course)!!!

Do NOT push the button. (complete): A pack of vicious dinosaurs is loose in the Forest of Dean...what is it about those woods that attracts bad luck and anomalies, anyway? Meanwhile, a routine computer check finds malware--and worse. Note: next update currently stalled due to writer's block and college applications.

Aliens, my rear end, part 1. (Complete): A vicious crocodilian with a septic bite is running loose. A mysterious team gets it back home at great cost...only to have it turn up in England. A strange woman is found at the scene, and Becker is bitten. Our heroes have less than twelve hours to save him.

Aliens, my rear end, part 2 (or, Roswell was a chimp in a weather balloon). (In progress): Recovering from the fleshreaver attack and waiting for the woman from the future to wake up, the ARC finds itself under attack from three fronts--the giant eagle that seems to have decided that humans are food, the unidentified, superhuman hostiles attacking the ARC itself, and the sudden revelation that one of their own is an assassin in disguise.

Please do not feed the dinosaurs. (not started yet): Not one, not just two; three. That's how many species of dinosaur our heroes have to deal with. With Connor and Abby out of commission and April attacking the two teams, even the combined forces of the ARC and Area 52 may not be enough to pull through.

The Drop-Bears of Doom. (not started yet): Flesh-roos? Drop-bears? Prehistoric Australia had some unusual nasties. None of them, however, are as bad as April, the ultimate assassin--and this time she has friends.

Long-term:

In-between story:

TrekCon for Dummies (and non-geeks): Some light filler before I head into the next big project. Lester decided that the team geeks need some vacation to help recover from the disastrous Twelve attack, and Connor helpfully suggests a Star Trek convention. Abby doesn't see the point of the green body paint and glorified bikini, but goes along assuming that it can't be any worse than stewing in her metaphorical juices. Of course, karma strikes, along with intensive nerding. I will be having some fun with this one--as will our heroes.

Random ideas:

Whatever bunnies strike my fancy.

Hypothetical seventh season of Primeval:

Untitled: The ARC team is now something more than human, but April is still out there, and Area 52 is crippled by their leader's death. And with the sudden appearance of creatures like none ever seen before, from an anomaly that appears to be from the present, Connor finds himself on the verge of a groundbreaking scientific breakthrough.

Untitled: The ARC can't handle the reporters, so Lester decides to go to the one PR person he knows he can trust: Jenny Lewis. True to form, she solves the cover-up problems overnight--but even Jenny may not be able to handle live footage of a prehistoric predator in Loch Ness.

Untitled: A routine mission involving some indricotheres turns sour when April kidnaps and cripples Connor. While the team deals with a pack of microchipped future predators that someone released in the ARC, Abby decides it's payback time.

Untitled: A Twelve attack and a freak storm strand the team in the past. With Area 52 playing catch-up and the ARC crippled by a cyberattack, April decides it's time for a hunt.

Untitled: A bear-dog the size of a rhinoceros, and rhinos the size of dogs. Paradox? No, just the Miocene of Kansas--plus "Future" Matt and a slightly crazy plan to save time itself.

Untitled: Still an idea percolating through my busy head.